[Earl Grey]

I want to get your opinion on a potential dating land mine:

I've never been in a long term relationship before. This is due to a combination of my traditional upbringing and a severe case of social anxiety disorder. I did have casual sex within my social circle in the past, which was more due to luck.

I'm post "red pill" and have made great gains in self improvement but I find I'm still having difficulty answering the question that often comes up about my past relationships. I've been deflecting the question by saying "it doesn't matter". However, I'm wondering if you guys have a better strategy?

[Virtus]

lie. invent several relationships that are appropriate of an average person in your demographic and flesh those out. you can "adopt" those relationships of some of your distant friends. at the end it will not matter if you dont bring it up after

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(12-19-2014 01:20 AM)Virtus Wrote:  

lie. invent several relationships that are appropriate of an average person in your demographic and flesh those out. you can "adopt" those relationships of some of your distant friends. at the end it will not matter if you dont bring it up after

The same way that men should lie about being a virgin - this can be a huge turnoff for most women. It does not matter in the long run. Even if she becomes your great sweetheart and future wife (unlikely) she will not care jack shit about an unimportant lie like that.

[Latan]

Her: So, how about your dating past?

You: "I didn't get a lot of girlfriends, 150...160 maybe".
Or
You: "I'm a virgin" with a strong body language demonstrating masculiny and a sexy smile.
Or
You: "They don't last long, scream a lot when I bring them to my cave, and what a trouble to burry them..." While pretending to be thinking, then: "What was your question again?" while smiling and pretending you really forgot. [this one needs to have built comfort before]

TL;DR: she's not interested by your past, only the way you'll answer matters.
Just don't answer directly, it makes the hamster stop spinning.

[Saga]

"I've been involved with some girls in the past, but when it comes to something long-term, I just haven't found the right girl yet..."

Something along those lines might work.

[Cheetah]

You are not supposed to talk about past girls with a current girl anyway. Why are you letting yourself being interrogated about this?

[Earl Grey]

Thanks guys for your responses, they have been really helpful.

[Earl Grey]

(12-19-2014 08:50 AM)Cheetah Wrote:  

You are not supposed to talk about past girls with a current girl anyway. Why are you letting yourself being interrogated about this?

I try my best to make them qualify themselves to me. I figure shit test questions like that are routine for all men. My situation is unique for a man of my age (mid 30's). Just curious if there is a better strategy than my current one of evading the question.

[WestIndianArchie]

LIE.

I broke her heart, but I grew up.

We met out of the blue, some thing I was at.
My friends didn't know.
My parents didn't know.
It was against my religion.
Against my upbringing. (the best lies are seasoned with truth)

She loved the hell out of me, but I didn't know what to do with it.
Wasn't ready for it.

"now you've got me thinking about that time"

And then when you're done, tense up and pull away from the chick you're talking to. As if she's the one that put you in a mood.

Let her make you feel better, and that's it. if she brings it up again, do your pull away thing.

And then after you bang the chick you're with, the chick you just banged becomes the long term relationship.

Then you create your "long term GF" from all the chicks you've banged.

WIA

[General Mayhem]

The way you are talking about "deflecting the question" I know you are being awkward about it.

You can always rebrand an old fuck buddy as an LTR. That's easier than a straight up lie.

Aside from that, have no shame.

[Earl Grey]

(12-20-2014 10:04 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

LIE.

I broke her heart, but I grew up.

We met out of the blue, some thing I was at.
My friends didn't know.
My parents didn't know.
It was against my religion.
Against my upbringing. (the best lies are seasoned with truth)

She loved the hell out of me, but I didn't know what to do with it.
Wasn't ready for it.

"now you've got me thinking about that time"

And then when you're done, tense up and pull away from the chick you're talking to. As if she's the one that put you in a mood.

Let her make you feel better, and that's it. if she brings it up again, do your pull away thing.

And then after you bang the chick you're with, the chick you just banged becomes the long term relationship.

Then you create your "long term GF" from all the chicks you've banged.

WIA

Thanks! Seems like a great strategy.

[Earl Grey]

(12-20-2014 10:05 PM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

The way you are talking about "deflecting the question" I know you are being awkward about it.

You can always rebrand an old fuck buddy as an LTR. That's easier than a straight up lie.

Aside from that, have no shame.

True, the question does bring up complex feelings deep inside me. Almost a feeling of wasted youth. I do have some work to do in developing my inner game and letting go of the past.

[Lizard King]

Say you mainly had one night stands.

[eradicator]

i don't like any of these answers. I would simply refuse to answer and say "i don't kiss and tell. If i date you, would you want me telling future women about our relations?" or something along those lines. I never ask women about their past boyfriends because I just assume they will lie.

[Sonsowey]

I usually just say, truthfully, "Yeah, I've had some LTRs, but let's not just talk about exs, y'know?"

[Cheetah]

(12-24-2014 06:55 AM)eradicator Wrote:  

i don't like any of these answers. I would simply refuse to answer and say "i don't kiss and tell. If i date you, would you want me telling future women about our relations?" or something along those lines. I never ask women about their past boyfriends because I just assume they will lie.

Is it a good thing to let her know that you intend to have many other women after her, e.g. that you already plan for it to end between you and her?

[sandman972]

"its complicated" and change subject

[godfather dust]

In my experience a long term relationship is an exchange of your happiness for her pussy. Not worth it. I'm not a master at game by any means (beginner here) but since you are also a beginner I highly recommend avoiding a LTR.

[Cobra]

Good suggestions here. I have been in an LTR for over 8 years now.

I know what you're thinking. You believe she's a really good girl and want to keep her happy. Out of this want comes a sense of obligation to her. You feel obligated to give her the answers to keep her. It can cost you more in despair and helplessness than the short term benefit. You're just not experienced enough to calculate that risk.

So take the advice from above, be playful and "game" her. No need to get into the non-playful "serious" territory yet. It's a trap.

[andy]

^ this, women need a bit of neglect every now and then, too much attention will make them think they've got the upper hand

[LouEvilSlugger]

A lack of experience in bed will hurt you more than a lack of experience with LTR. The latter is usually forgiven, the former very rarely if not never.