A brand new but peculiar dating app
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A new dating app promises to connect 'those with beards to those who want to stroke beards'.
I don't have a baby or a puppy, but I do have a beard. And, apparently, these are three things in life that total strangers think it's OK to coo over and pet without first greeting the person to which they belong.
Granted, there are probably a lot fewer people itching for a stroke of my beard than there are who want to tickle a baby's nose (is that what you do?), but there remain some who will reach for my chin without so much as an introductory grunt.
Well, good news for those face gropers, and good news for my face, because there's a new website that can now satisfy both those pogonophiles who can't resist the urge to wrap their figures round some uptown curlies, and attention-seeking beardies.
A new dating app called Bristlr - "the Social Beard Network" - promises to connect "those with beards to those who want to stroke beards”.
According to the promotional bumph, Bristlr, "much like Tinder, is a networking site for finding people you might like to meet up with.
"Instead of asking if you're single or taken, or looking for men or women, Bristlr simply asks you if you have a beard. You can find people near you who either have beards, or are looking to meet people with beards.
"Bristlr also provides a beard-rating option, so you can find out how well a potential date's beard ranks compared to other bearded locals."
Why are we even surprised that such an app exists? We should be more surprised that it hasn't been around for years. The internet is slowly swallowing every niche and fetish at an alarming rate. There already seems to be a dating service to cater to the most specialist of tastes, while the beard itself has been analysed, dissected, exploited and commercialised ad infinitum. A hook-up site for hairies is frankly long overdue.
But is it any good? I signed up to Bristlr, just to have a look around, soley in the name of journalistic research.
Unlike other dating sites, there's no irritating, lengthy personality questionaire to complete; it's all about the beard. If you like a particular beard-fancier, and she digs your face-fuzz, you're free to exchange messages, presumably about your favourite brand of beard oil and whether or not you enjoy being stroked "against the grain".
As for the quality of the beards on show on Bristlr, I can tell you that most people on there are of the “quirky” type. Y'know, bios written in one-word sentences that misuse the word “random”. And seemingly more Canadians than any other nationality.
If I'd wanted to get more involved in the hirsute dating game and to see who “likes me”, I'd have to “buy Bristlr a coffee” for £2.40 - or encourage, blackmail or bribe three people to join up. But this would only provide 24 hours of no-holds-barred furry fun. Call me cynical, but it sounds like Bristlr is not in the "free love" game.
Browsing the site, there also seems to be more men with beards that want stroking than women who want to stroke them. (Although, of course, some of those beardy men could have signed up because they want to stroke other beardy men's beards too.)
And if I'm being brutally honest, the quality of beards on show is "variable". Speaking as someone who doesn't really want to stroke another man's face, I'd have to say that there are only a few I could be tempted by, but there are quite a lot I'd barely class as beards at all.
But who am I to scoff? Bristlr was created by John Kershaw, a 28-year-old software developer from Manchester, who says he came up with the idea "as a joke." Don't be surprised, however, if a lot of people take it far too seriously.
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