My career is great. I worked hard and continue to do so. Projects I set into motion years ago are coming into fruition, surprisingly. I’m doing what I always wanted to do. I make good money, finally. It’s fulfilling. I got incredibly lucky many times and somehow succeeded when statistically, and intellectually, I should have failed. All I can say is, that I’m good at knowing when I get lucky and then running with it.
My health is good. I’m in better shape than I’ve ever been. I’m mid thirties.
I live in a great place. It’s not that far from where I grew up but economically and culturally I might as well be on the others side of the world. I go back to my old neighborhood at least once a week. It’s a working class neighborhood at best. My parents are still there. I got friends there. I’ve been going to the same barber for twenty years. It was home and still is in many ways. Part of me wants to live there again. But I don’t think that’s going to happen, and if it did, I would want to move, and that bothers me.
My parents are the best. They are humble and modest people, and they don’t even know that. Their main happiness in life is their children. They are getting older. I want a legacy, if not for me, then for them. Is that how I’m supposed to feel?
I’ve traveled a bit, lived abroad for some time too. Not as much as most of you on here, but enough. I’ve learned from traveling that I like it in America the best. But that discussion is for another time.
I have a live-in girlfriend now, a recent thing. Her idea. As I type this, she is at the gym working out. Afterwards, she will come back here and cook dinner. She is a good cook. She cooks every night. When my mom was sick not long ago, she cooked dinner for my whole family, and not just once. She is cute., not stunningly beautiful, but cute and wants to stay that way. I think she makes my life much easier rather than harder. She is a handful of years younger than me. I know that she wants marriage eventually. She has her problems and I have some doubts but that’s my nature. I always thought that I wanted marriage. But I wonder, is this it?
I sit here and think about my life as it was up to just a year ago. Things were up in the air back then – my career was moving forward but was far from secure. There were a thousand uncertainties. I had a crappy apartment. I had very little money. I still went out a lot. I dated a lot. I felt my life was a hustle - but there was excitement. I liked being the underdog. It was fun proving what I could do even if the only person keeping score was me. I feel that’s over now and it’s depressing me.
I’m where I always wanted to be and thankful for that. Still I think, is that it? This is it? That’s all there is?
I'm making this post for my own benefit and to see if I'm the only one who feels this way.
My health is good. I’m in better shape than I’ve ever been. I’m mid thirties.
I live in a great place. It’s not that far from where I grew up but economically and culturally I might as well be on the others side of the world. I go back to my old neighborhood at least once a week. It’s a working class neighborhood at best. My parents are still there. I got friends there. I’ve been going to the same barber for twenty years. It was home and still is in many ways. Part of me wants to live there again. But I don’t think that’s going to happen, and if it did, I would want to move, and that bothers me.
My parents are the best. They are humble and modest people, and they don’t even know that. Their main happiness in life is their children. They are getting older. I want a legacy, if not for me, then for them. Is that how I’m supposed to feel?
I’ve traveled a bit, lived abroad for some time too. Not as much as most of you on here, but enough. I’ve learned from traveling that I like it in America the best. But that discussion is for another time.
I have a live-in girlfriend now, a recent thing. Her idea. As I type this, she is at the gym working out. Afterwards, she will come back here and cook dinner. She is a good cook. She cooks every night. When my mom was sick not long ago, she cooked dinner for my whole family, and not just once. She is cute., not stunningly beautiful, but cute and wants to stay that way. I think she makes my life much easier rather than harder. She is a handful of years younger than me. I know that she wants marriage eventually. She has her problems and I have some doubts but that’s my nature. I always thought that I wanted marriage. But I wonder, is this it?
I sit here and think about my life as it was up to just a year ago. Things were up in the air back then – my career was moving forward but was far from secure. There were a thousand uncertainties. I had a crappy apartment. I had very little money. I still went out a lot. I dated a lot. I felt my life was a hustle - but there was excitement. I liked being the underdog. It was fun proving what I could do even if the only person keeping score was me. I feel that’s over now and it’s depressing me.
I’m where I always wanted to be and thankful for that. Still I think, is that it? This is it? That’s all there is?
I'm making this post for my own benefit and to see if I'm the only one who feels this way.