[Ice]

Hi, what is your opinion on this situation:

I met a girl through social circle recently. Been texting to set something up to grab some drinks. She was out of the country for a couple of weeks so there was some delay. Now she's back and we texted again to set something up for next week. However, in the last text she suddenly suggested to also invite some other friends of our circle.

It's strange - when we met about 4 weeks ago I actually got a vibe from her that she's interested.

But maybe she's not.

I can just say that some work things came up for next week and suggest to "postpone" the meetup and then just never contact her again.

Or would you try to save this somehow? If yes, how?

But it seems like her suggestion to meet up with friends is a pretty clear sign that she's not interested - or not?

She's American btw.

[Tuthmosis]

"No."

[Lizard King]

Interesting views here.

[Ice]

(11-10-2014 01:56 AM)Lizard King Wrote:  

Interesting views here.

Thanks.

I'm not really into meeting up with her plus some other guys from the social circle though.

I was just looking for some good ideas what I could text her.

[Ice]

(11-10-2014 02:09 AM)Ice Wrote:  

(11-10-2014 01:56 AM)Lizard King Wrote:  

Interesting views here.

Thanks.

I'm not really into meeting up with her plus some other guys from the social circle though.

I was just looking for some good ideas what I could text her.

I mean, I can say something along the lines of "nah, let's just meet up the two of us." or "Nah I wanted to meet up with you, I see these guys all the time." or something.

[good looking loser]

Do whatever you REALLY want to do

but either way, this chick probably isn't going to be one that's going to sleep with you for at least 3-4 weeks.
when girls do the 'double date'/lets hang out with other friends thing, they are looking for a boyfriend

[anal?]

I'll cancel and suggest another date.NOTHING good can come up with hanging with her friends.

[Ice]

(11-10-2014 02:26 AM)good looking loser Wrote:  

Do whatever you REALLY want to do

but either way, this chick probably isn't going to be one that's going to sleep with you for at least 3-4 weeks.
when girls do the 'double date'/lets hang out with other friends thing, they are looking for a boyfriend

Oh hey Chris - thanks for the answer. Very cool stuff on the GLL website by the way.

But yeah, could very well be that she's looking for a boyfriend. She kinda had that vibe.

[Ice]

(11-10-2014 02:32 AM)anal? Wrote:  

I'll cancel and suggest another date.NOTHING good can come up with hanging with her friends.

Yeah I'm definitely not going to hang out with her and a group of friends

[Rawmeo]

Don't fall in the friendzone.

"Just say no".

[Dalaran1991]

Yeah, if only I had 50 cents every time a girl suggest "let's go with the others" I would be retired on a brazilian beach drinking caipirinha right now.

Look, I all agree with the opinions on this forum that under no circumstance agree to go out with such a girl, but the reality is, if you are doing social circle game, that's exactly what you get for 95% of the time. Based on my experience, if you say "no" none of them will agree to go out.

So either ditch social circle game altogether, it's too much drama anyway. That said, cold approach maybe less full of shit, but it takes a lot of effort in its own way.

Or, really make it into a social outing where you and the whole group go out to have fun and you get to flirt with whichever girl you want. Invite couple of girls you like out (best if they don't know each other), have a few wingman. Have fun and game. Dont give a "friend" vibe.

A lot of the time you will have no choice but to play some slow game. There's nothing wrong with planting seeds here and there while doing direct game elsewhere.

[Roadrunner]

Say exactly what I said a week ago: "I don't do chaperones"

[zombiejimmorrison]

Just say no, "I'm interested in you romantically and would like to see if we click". If she declines that offer, move along. Went on a date last week and this girl surprises me by bringing her female friend along. The girl was less attractive than her friend and she was a prude, I was more interested in her friend. Say no or see it for yourself and make a mental note about it

[Ice]

(11-10-2014 05:47 AM)zombiejimmorrison Wrote:  

Just say no, "I'm interested in you romantically and would like to see if we click". If she declines that offer, move along. Went on a date last week and this girl surprises me by bringing her female friend along. The girl was less attractive than her friend and she was a prude, I was more interested in her friend. Say no or see it for yourself and make a mental note about it

Thanks for the suggestion.

Yeah it's quite direct, but why not. I'm not sure though if it's really necessary to spell it out like that. I could also just say that I want to meet up only the two of us "to see if we get along / see if we click" or "to get to know each other better" or something along those lines. I think this makes it pretty clear what's up.

[heavy]

No.

Longer answer: If you can maintain alpha status with friends and you run the social circle, ok. My methods of deduction tells me that's not your situation (the thread itself, she suggested the friends not you, the details of your thread suggesting your uncertainty about her). So no.

As a general rule, if you're trying to improve yourself, put yourself in uncomfortable situations (ie approach, meet up with a girl to try to work her friends, do ballsy things). If you're trying to bang a girl, don't put yourself in situations where you feel in control and alpha.

[Ice]

(11-10-2014 09:53 AM)heavy Wrote:  

No.

Longer answer: If you can maintain alpha status with friends and you run the social circle, ok. My methods of deduction tells me that's not your situation (the thread itself, she suggested the friends not you, the details of your thread suggesting your uncertainty about her). So no.

As a general rule, if you're trying to improve yourself, put yourself in uncomfortable situations (ie approach, meet up with a girl to try to work her friends, do ballsy things). If you're trying to bang a girl, don't put yourself in situations where you feel in control and alpha.

Yeah she knows the guys in the social circle better than I, so I don't "run" the social circle.

As I mentioned above, I never had the intention to meet up with her friends. I was just looking for ideas for what do answer.

(11-10-2014 09:53 AM)heavy Wrote:  

If you're trying to bang a girl, don't put yourself in situations where you feel in control and alpha.

Well that's debatable I guess. Sure, uncomfortable situations can help to improve oneself, but if you want to bang the girl I don't know if it's really that useful to deliberately put yourself in a situation where you don't feel in control and alpha ..

[rudebwoy]

Response - radio silence.

[Ice]

(11-10-2014 10:28 AM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Response - radio silence.

Yeah I thought about that too.

It's kinda disrespectful to suggest meeting up with the other friends all of sudden.

[rudebwoy]

Very disrespectful.

Radio silence and don't respond to texts from her.

[Hardy Daytona]

I've been in the same situation.
With a large circle of friends that frequently meet together and are difficult to isolate, I can attest that it's difficult to break out of the friendzone with a scenario like that.

I'd suggest taking the advice already given and don't allow it in the first place.
"Men are all too often in the friendzone because they let themselves be put there."

If it's a resounding no then next and move on.