[Simeon_Strangelight]

I had this little idea which seemed funny to me and had a go at it adjusting the traditional wedding vows and adding some fitting pics to that. Anyone have other great adjusted vows?

For the Beta Man Blue Pill Marriage:

I, James Provider, take thee, Jane Carousel, to my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

   

I,Jane Carousel, take thee James Provider, to my wedded Beta Provider and final option as I am hitting the Wall now, to hold the loaded gun of this marriage contract to your head from this day forward, for better only because for worse would mean divorce, for richer of course because for poorer would mean divorce & allegations of child-abuse as well, in sickness no way and in health you may stay, to make love to you once a year on your birthday, to cherish my Alpha cock-hopping days & my future regimen of cupcakes, donuts and KFC buckets, and to disobey you as the strong empowered woman that I am, till death parts you and bestows your life-insurance on me or I find a better, richer man, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my 100.000$ college tuition debts for my woman's studies degree in addition to my 75.000$ in credit card debts, my two unruly sons from some Alpha Bad Boys from the days when I was hot, my notch count in the high 3-digits, the bitterness and empowered bitchiness that consumes me every day and my solemn vow to stay true to myself and seek all the Alpha cock on the side so that I may remain haaaaaappy forever.

   
_______________________

Red Pill Man & Red Pill Woman:

I, John Gmanifesto, take thee, Alena Raisedinaremotevillagesevskaya , to my wedded always submissive Wife, to have your sweet ass and pussy whenever I want and to hold you in perpetual relationship dread from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to Heartiste's holy 16 Commandments of Poon and Rollo Tomassi's sacred books 1 to 3; and thereto I plight thee my fidelity for the days and moments I spend with you.

I, Alena Raisedinaremotevillagesevskaya, take thee, John Gmanifesto, to my wedded Husband & Master, to have your children and to hold you superior to me always from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey all your commands, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my fidelity, my low notch-count, my happy disposition, frequent invitations for FFM threesomes, my generous understanding of your Alpha hunting ways, my cooking skills, my unwavering support in all your endeavors and my best and most fertile years.

   

   

[Veloce]

I like the premise of this. I think you nailed the Blue Pill vows but the Red Pill vows need some work.

Here's my go (Red Pill vows):


I, Sean Connery, take you, Veronica Zemanova, as my UN-lawfully wedded wife. The establishment has made lawful marriage a non-option for me, so I take your hand in symbolic marriage by brute force and alpha dominance. I pledge a life of providing and protection for you and the abundant offspring we will produce, who we will raise on a ranch and/or tropical island. In exchange for this, you will cook my favorite dishes, assume my favorite sexual positions, and not bore me incessantly with the details of your friends' failed relationships. Our boys will be suited down and our girls will have a bow in their hair when I get home and will exhibit the utmost best behavior.


I, Veronica Zemanova, do. (She'd know to keep it short and sweet)

[Lizard King]

[Dr. Howard]

I'm down with the 'unlawful wedded' part for sure. "These vows that I speak to you will not be registered or presided over by any municipal office or court of law. This covenant is between myself, god and my wife; not the county of bumfuck, the city of hipsters or the great state of bending over for single mothers"

[ChrisPitts]

That first picture almost made me throw up my lunch. Imagine what she'll look like now that she really starts letting herself go.

[M.D.Douche]

My red pill wedding vows:

"Not even once."

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(11-09-2014 03:03 PM)ChrisPitts Wrote:  

That first picture almost made me throw up my lunch. Imagine what she'll look like now that she really starts letting herself go.

You guys are right of course - un-lawful wedding it is or none. Women accept that nowadays.

And ChrisPitts - regarding letting herself go after marriage - with this little bride to be I shudder thinking how big she will become as he puts a bracelet on her finger:


   

[ChrisPitts]

(11-10-2014 05:51 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

(11-09-2014 03:03 PM)ChrisPitts Wrote:  

That first picture almost made me throw up my lunch. Imagine what she'll look like now that she really starts letting herself go.

You guys are right of course - un-lawful wedding it is or none. Women accept that nowadays.

And ChrisPitts - regarding letting herself go after marriage - with this little bride to be I shudder thinking how big she will become as he puts a bracelet on her finger:

Unfortunately, I've seen a picture a few years after the wedding. She's at the beach:

[Krusyos]

The problem with the red pill vows is that you are treating the redpill woman like a femicunt bitchslut. If both are redpill, the traditional vows are fine.