[The_e_man]

When I first started game, I just wanted to fuck some bad bitches.
Now that my notch count has significantly increased I find myself wanting to maintain a harem of girls on rotation. I go out clubbing Fridays and Saturdays and I generally pull a bish at least one of those nights (sometimes both nights, sometimes both nights end up dry). My problem here is that I cannot seem to make these girls stick around afterwards.
They flake and give lame excuses when I try to plan day 2's. Eventually, shit just tappers off and we lose all contact. And as far as I know, I fuck them pretty good and we usually fuck like animals for a few hour before passing out.
Every now and then, I will have a girl become obsessed with me - but its usually the quality of girl I'd rather have a one-night stand with, not build into my harem.
Have any of your veteran players come across this?
Is this a sign of improvement needed in my game, or is this just the nature of club sluts?

Cheers.

[lycosidae]

Yeah, it's the nature of nightclubs... girls hook up with guys there and that's usually a one time thing, they don't stick around. Fucking a girl good does not mean they come back for more...

If you want to meet girls in quieter settings (lounges, pubs, daygame, online) and set up dates, that might work better for a rotation. A rotation implies some level of courtship that isn't there with SNLs - and usually that starts with a regular date. So you can keep those babes around longer since you're courting them. In any case, there's a cap... a few months of fucking and they'll taper off if you're obviously just in it for sex.. You've got to constantly build your rotation.

[Nomad77]

I keep talking about this but no one seems to want to listen

Fucking a girl does not mean what it use to 20 yrs ago or even 10. It no longer has the emotional attachment or significance that it once did for girls. For that matter, you may think you are the one fucking the girl when in reality she is the one using you for sex. As such, she doesn't have any emotional investment with a drunk fuck. Plus, every girl doesn't matter what you think about her is going to feel somewhat slutty for sleeping with a guy the same night. She's going to have some degree of buyer's remorse the next day - period.

So no emotional investment because of drunk sex plus buyers remorse = a high probability of no second date.

Now, if you do establish some level of emotional connection prior to sex and she's not completely wasted then there is a better chance of seeing her again. For a girl to see you again you have to get her to invest emotionally.

Think of this, a pimp doesn't get a girl by fucking her body. He gets a girl by fucking her mind.

[Merenguero]

People talk all the time about guys pumping and dumping and using girls for sex. Women do the same thing all the time. There's no exact formula, but I think it's normal for about one-half of your notches to be with girls who have nothing to do with you after the bang. Obviously some guys will experience it more and some will experience it less. Guys who do more night game should experience it more.

O.P.:
Are you in Toronto having that much success? If so, maybe you can share some data. Guys make Toronto sound much more difficult than D.C. with D.C.-level talent and tons of guys who have their shit together.

[The_e_man]

You guys have given me a sigh of relief as I was beginning to think I have a fatal flaw somewhere in my game.
Nomad, you are absolutely correct. I remember when I was a noobie starting out, I would get makeouts at the club and then get a girls number only to have her flake on me. I would think "what the hell? this girl was into me enough to wanna kiss me why wouldn't she at least reply to my text?"
Oh how far I have come since then, but still - one would think having SEX with someone would give you at least some sort of emotional investment/attachment but alas it seems that is not the case with your modern club slut.

The red pill is a very bitter one to swallow but the clarity it gives is like no other.

And Merenguero - I am in Edmonton, Alberta in the Rocky Mountains / Canadian Prairies region. Very different place, culturally, then Toronto.

[aphelion]

I think the slut factor is really at large here. No sane girl wants to think she's a slut, so she doesn't want slut evidence hanging around. If she's unable to hamster the attraction into a thought about how amazing the whole night was, then she's just going to avoid the whole slutty situation and that means you.

You might try more post bang comfort. 'I never do that, that was amazing!' 'Wow, that was unexpected, I just got this great vibe from you.' Stuff like that so she doesn't feel like just another notch.

[WestIndianArchie]

Game stage
1. find em, see em, assess them, step to em
2. 1st words, open, logistics, obstacles, attract + light kino
3. the comfort and rapport stage
4. Close
5. debrief and set up for day 2

Without knowing more about these chicks, or your game, I'll just assume it's #3.

I don't think comfort and rapport is really discussed that well. Because in the model situation, this where you've pulled her from the dance floor/bar and gotten her outside for a smoke, or sitting down on a sofa at the club.

Most folks use this stage as a deeper getting to know you stage, or chance to do a bit of strategic vulnerability (or strategic quirkiness) but more often than not, this is a heavy kino stage and you're warming the chick up for the close that's going to happen later during the interaction. So guys are either getting emo,or getting handsy. (that's the way I read it, could be wrong)

The C&R stage is the opportunity to make that "connection". At this stage in the game, you want the girl to want to talk to you, to want to hear your thoughts. She has to be into you at a different level, a non-sexual level.

Because after you bang her out, she still need something else to hold on to aside from the sex.

So in a lot of these cases where you're losing the day 2, you're losing them because you're not giving her a reason to stick around past the sex. It's more than just commonalities. You're trying to get a chick to really go back and forth with you and have one of those memorable, almost un-recreatable conversations. Novelty and surprise are you friends.

Go through your game and ask yourself, if you're basically just heating these chicks up and then using good strategy to bang while the iron is hot.

If you are establishing a real good back and forth, like this is a chick you'd go see a Wes Anderson movie with - and they're still bailing on you - there's really not much you can do. She doesn't like you enough to drop everything and hang. It is what it is.

Being good enough to hang out with and bang >>>> good enough to bang >>>> good enough to have you replace the heater core in her car

WIA

[The_e_man]

Boys you seem to have things down to a tee here.

Aphelion - quite the opposite happens with me. Girls immediately talk about how I'm such a player and they jokingly bring up how I've probably done this to so many other girls, ask what number they are, etc. etc. I thought that this was a good thing if they thought I was a player (pre-selection, right?) but apparently this is good for securing a bang but terrible for any type of day 2 or harem-building. So what I will try tonight if/when I pull a bish is to cool it down on the "player" vibes I could be giving off.

WIA - Let me put it this way, the last girl I pulled was on Halloween. My wing was talking to her friend and I literally just grabbed the girls hand and said, "fuck it we are taking you bitches home" - I did not even know what her name was until our pillow talk the next morning. I shit you not. This brash, asshole-style game works unbelievably well for me (if I approach enough girls of course, most girls are obviously very repulsed by this type of game). Now, my Halloween example is a very extreme case, and to be completely honest, is the first time I got a bang acting in such an extreme manner (as it was 2:30AM and I was on my last legs).
What I'm picking up from you guys is I need to change my game style as it is working for securing a one-night bang but terrible for just about anything else.

I used to be happy with just getting a bang, but now I'm more hungry. I want to build a harem of the baddest bitches.

[Donkey_Riding]

(11-08-2014 12:35 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  

Girls immediately talk about how I'm such a player and they jokingly bring up how I've probably done this to so many other girls, ask what number they are, etc. etc.

(11-08-2014 12:35 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  

WIA - Let me put it this way, the last girl I pulled was on Halloween. My wing was talking to her friend and I literally just grabbed the girls hand and said, "fuck it we are taking you bitches home" - I did not even know what her name was until our pillow talk the next morning. I shit you not. This brash, asshole-style game works unbelievably well for me

From what you've said it seems to me that you're giving off too hardcore of a "Scumbag" vibe to retain chicks. GLL has a good post on retention that addresses this:
http://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/ge...ck-buddies

Basically going full scumbag is an excellent way to get quick lays (because if girls don't want to fuck they won't go anywhere near you), but terrible to retain girls because they can never picture being in a relationship with you. To retain a girl you will usually have to give off enough comfort/softness that she can imagine introducing you to her friends or even her family. So, in addition to building a deeper connection as others have suggested, try to incorporate more "Good Guy"/"Boyfriend potential" qualities into your look and vibe.

[Donkey_Riding]

To elaborate more: how do you find women who will fulfill what you want? Screening. If your goal is to build a harem of fuckbuddies, you need to screen for the chicks who will make good fuckbuddies for you.

When you screen super-aggressively in the context of going for SNLs, you are only screening to see if the chick is DTF with you that night. You aren't screening for anything else or qualifying her in any way. That's why the physical escalation is basically all that matters.

The best fuckbuddies will be chicks who are genuinely into you for certain qualities that you possess, such as your lifestyle and personality. You screen for these girls using traditional "dating" techniques such as natural conversation where you build an emotional connection with her by revealing your personalities to one another. In this process you get her to qualify herself to you. Play to your strengths and aim for a "niche"--the kind of girl you happen to click with. You can meet these in standard places like coffee shops or clubs, but you can also try thinking about the kind of venues which these girls are most likely to attend, and approach them there (e.g., if you're into art, galleries or art shows, music concerts of bands you're into, &c).

You may want to try to restructure your meeting/courting process in order to screen for fuckbuddies more effectively. E.g., get leads through day game or online game, then set up short first dates (60-90 min), in which you chat, tease, kino, build rapport. It might be best not even to kiss her on the first date unless you're already in isolation and about to go for sex. The second date, you fuck her. See the following:
http://www.thumotic.com/the-guaranteed-second-date-ban/
By drawing out the courtship process, and keeping her on the fence as to whether you're into her or not, you get her to think about you more and invest more. I like to tell them to bring dessert when they are coming over for dinner--this makes them work.