[JoeMusashi]

(07-10-2014 04:41 PM)HankRearden Wrote:  

Just remember, the ultimate goal should be to improve yourself as a person. Find your weak spots and look to make positive changes. If gaming women is really important to you, let your side improvements work in tandem with it. You'll find that the better you look, the better you will feel, and the better you will approach. This will soon become cyclical.

Thank you for your comment.

Yes, I am trying to improve what I can improve now about myself and my game both.

On the 5 areas of improvement you mentioned I'm currently working on some of them.

Game
Eat. Sleep. Approach. Repeat.
Sounds harsh, but it works. The first 2-3 approaches were REALLY difficult (I was REALLY not used anymore to do that). Now everything is flowing a bit better and faster and I am starting to win my war against the (typically italian) approach anxiety.
I still have serious problem in escalating physically, but I think I will overcome it sooner or later.

Fitness
Sadly, not much work on this side so far. Trying the ACV but without ACV - I have some home-made top notch vinegar (welcome to Italy ).
Real fitness .. I'll start as soon as I have closed the deal on my new home.

Health
Same as fitness. I'm trying to keep most "bad food" (junk food.. etc) away from my diet to lose some weight (lost so far 2 kg in one month).

Success
Approach hard, WORK HARDER. Currently seriously overworked but I hope to clear the situation in a few more months (else I'll chance my workplace, I can do it easily).

Reading
That's a minor issue, really. I have Always been an avid reader of everything (from the dumb magazine in the dentist's waiting room to history books to.. anything) so this is not an area where I feel I should improve.

Thank you for your feedback.

JM

[JoeMusashi]

"Life is really simple, but we insist in making it complicated" (I think Confucius, but not sure).

TLDR: Passed a couple of DTF because I was waiting for the girl I dated on Tuesday. Still really weak at escalating.

Went to the same club, as usual.
The owner is closing his trial-run before the great reopening in late september.
Yesterday night he decided to play the "silent disco" card (headphones with 3 different channels linked to a dj console - you can listen to the music and dance without, obviously making noises and everybody can see what you're listening to since every channel has a different color showed on the headphones)

http://www.oltrefreepress.com/public/upl...-disco.jpg

I was there at 22.00, waiting for the girl I dated on tuesday (she said she would come to the club at around 23).

I had one hour, approached 2 girls standing close to the bar.
Realized 20s after that they were completely drunk (to an unacceptable level) and tried to disengage quickly.
They probably were DTF immediatly, since I saw them around 1 hr after groping with a guy close to the toilet....
Spent 20 minutes still talking with them when one of the two went to the toilet.
I was left alone with the cutest one of the two, talked to her 10 more minutes then did a "cigarette disengage" pretty quickly to avoid any kind of problem.

I sipped my second drink while talking to the owner when another of the girl who I dated from this club showed up.
She's the one who told me "she considers me just a friend", so I can really ignore her as much as I want.
Talked to her enough to look polite in front of both her and the owner (Hello, how are you, how's work - I'll go having a cigarette, see you later) when the girl I dated on Tuesday shows up.

The situation was fine, since the owner was talking to the first girl while I was mostly talking to my "dated girl". We were sitting all at the same table with a bottle of prosecco and just chilling.
I tried to make a light physical escalation with my prospect and it went pretty well, with a good reaction from her.
I kept the attention on me while I mocked hard the real-estate agents that I've seen during the day (I apologize if any RE agent is reading here but.. the one we have here are just clueless Young guys that thinks that you can do to a seller a sale's speech.. I work into something similar, so I mock them really well )

The first girl left at around 00.30 to go to work and the owner left our table to check the DJ booth and I was left alone with her.

We went to the bar to have another drink and she was chatted up by another random guy passing by who tried to open her.
I decided to stay put and to not interfere ("I don't care" logic) and it seems it worked, since she turned towards me like 2 minutes after.
We chatted again, had a couple of shots and a drink and then went back to our place.
The "random guy" showed up again to chat her up. Luckily, in the table close to us there was a couple of Canadian girls with the "silent disco" headphones.

I chatted the 2 girls up (I was on the BLUE channel, they were on the Green and Red) while the girl at my table dismissed the "random guy" pretty quickly (again, the "I don't care" mentality works fine..).

She regained my attention only when she put her hand on my shoulder to call me back.

Now it was 01.30 and the club was closing. She lives pretty close to the club, so I told her I would take her home ("Yes, I have to drive afterwards and walking is a good way to let the alcol down"). I left her in front of her door.

Yes, I know, I should have escalated physically. I should have asked her via any tricks to get upstairs. Still, I did not. I really, really, really should find a way to gather some courage and/or balls to close.

Damage control mode is already on, so I won't message her until tuesday again...

Plans for the next few days:

- Sunday night: relax and recover (I am looking for a new home and I am pretty stressed about it - have looked at around 12 flats so far and found only one interesting).
- Monday Night: I'm off from work due to having to see a couple more flats during the day (2 confirmed meeting in the morning and one in the afternoon). Probably sushi night with my best friend. Since I will have around 3hrs free in the evening before meeting with my best friend, I will try to pipeline something for the next days.
- Tuesday: No plan.
- Wednesday: No plan.
- Thursday: Aperitivo out with 2 males colleagues. Probably a NO-GAME night, depending on the situation.
- Friday: No plan.

Monday I'll plan everything out for the week.

Thanks everyone for reading.

[JoeMusashi]

"Still chased by ghosts of
Little mistakes
It's complicated"

Paul Van Dyk feat. Ashley Tomberlin - Complicated

TLDR: Showed some serious "asshole side" to a bitchy girl. She loved it.

Another long night.
I went to my friend's house early to have a quick dinner and drink before going out seriously. Some friendly banter between friends helped me getting into the right mood.

I must admit that I am not at 100% in this moment, due to some situation related to personal (looking for a new house) and work-related issues (overworked).
If I had to rate my willingness to use my energy into pickup at the moment I would be at around 60-70%.

Just around 22.30 I showed up at my usual club finding immediately the (ex male) Bartender (actual) girlfriend.
Greeted her as usual, with maximum politeness and not showing any hint of interest (she's already taken by a guy who's far less beta than me and that I respect, so she's a NO-GAME girl for me).
I spoke with her for around 10 minutes about some pretty common boring topics (Hello/How are you/How's work/I'm looking for a new flat/some funny stories about Real Estate agents trying to sell me homes/goodbye, see you around in the club).

When I was leaving her, a friend showed up. She's a solid 7, a bit drunk already and REALLY chatty.

I was left alone by the bartender's girl and tried to engagé the second girl who showed up.

She started her conversation in an interesting way ("I don't like to know people like everyone does, I don't want to know what's your job or what's your name") that I followed really well by being a bit assholish (does this word even exists?) and teasing her ("So, if you don't like to know people in a standard way, why did you start speaking with your friend first? You could have engaged a conversation directly with me, a nearly complete stranger... this would have been.. pretty non-standard" with a smirk).

We spoke for 5 minutes and since the owner offered me a free drink I decided to offer it to her.
She refused at first, then followed me at the bar.
She took a shot, I took a Cuba Libre.

We sat close to the bar while the new bartender (a girl that I've already tried to pick up - you can read about her in post #8 in this thread) was looking at me and her and smiling.

After a couple of minutes of cheering (she drinked her shot REALLY slow, not in a single gulp) she told me something that turned up my "asshole mode" switch on.

HER: "Well, you know.. that, you know... Sitting close.." (she puts her hands on my shoulder and ankle) .. "might lead to unexpected situation that I don't want to be involved in, you know, it might look like that you like me..."
ME: (taking her hands off me, slowly, in a deliberate gesture) "I'm sorry, but I think you're over-valuing yourself.. a lot."
HER: "What?"
ME: (rising up from the sofa) "See you later"

I left her there alone, went to toilet and met the owner again, who offered me a second round on him.
I talked close to the bar with the owner for a while (he wants me to be the resident DJ for the winter season with another guy I barely know and that I don't like - both in DJing style and as a person).

The "overvalued girl" passed behind me and, on purpose, she hit me on the shoulder. I turned, looked at her smiling like "It's not a problem" while she winked at me.
She was going outside hand by hand with another guy and she motioned me to join her.
I kept my look on her but instead of looking her in the face I looked at tits and ass.

I was getting tired and I felt my strenght was lowering pretty fast (tired from work, stressed from the houses and a bit drunk after 3 Cubas) so I just waved goodbye to everyone and went out.

I found a moment to ask the bartender if she was still "busy", she told me "yes" and tried to justify it ("I have this, this and that to do then I go on Holiday from X to Y and then.."). I stopped her with a "I just need a yes or no" and she replied with a ".. But I was trying to explain you why I am busy".
I waved my hand at her, saying goodbye. She left the bar to give me three kisses on the cheeks then she went back to work.

Outside, I met again the "over-valued girl". She was staring at me while smoking with the (ex) bartender's GF.
I waved at them, went to say goodbye to the bartender's girl and said goodbye to her to.

Then I went home, with the feeling that I probably haven't let her sleep for the entire night (or, at least, I hope).
_______________________________________

Tonight I'll be probably back at the club (if the owner tells me there's something "interesting" going on) else I'll just fall dead asleep.

Tomorrow I'm out with colleagues, so probably it's a break from the game for one night.

What will be my strategy (next):

- I can get in touch via the ex bartender with his GF and then get information on the other girl. Probably going to call him tonight since we said we would be out one night having a few drinks.

- I am pipelining the girl I dated last week and that I met again on saturday to go out on friday night. I will contact her tonight on FB or make a phone call.

- Find a way to sleep more than 5 hours per night. 1.5 months of this life is starting to take its toll. I don't feel fresh in morning and too much alcol (3-4 drinks per night, 4-5 nights per week) is starting to feel.. unsafe.

- Find a way to refill some breaches in my "emotional armor" that are still there. I need to work more on my inner game and mostly on closing the deal and getting the bang..

Thanks everyone for reading.
Comments and suggestions are always welcome.

JM

[JoeMusashi]

"A short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry" (Dwarf Fortress)

I am a bit lagging behind with this persona journal due to .. a few reasons.

So I'll make a weekly update with all the damage I did in the last 7 days.

- First, I decided to step down from "Eat-Sleep-Approach-Repeat" for a few days just to regain a bit of "emotional armor" and recover something that looked like "a normal life".

Friday 18th I went out to the same, old club. The night was nearly dead.
Stayed there for like a couple of hours, talking with the owner and the good looking female bartender.
Decided to bail at 00.30, went home, slept until late saturday afternoon.

Saturday 19th, out with an (old) friend.
This person has lost most of my trust in the last few months due to the way he acted. He had suffered a big set-back in his life (lost his and car and driving license due to a drunk accident in August 2013 - with the exception of him, nobody else was hurt.. He just... "jumped" at 150 km/h a roundabout in a calm area close to an hospital).
I've been close to him, offering him pick ups at his place to go out with our common friends..

He just went silent (complete radio-silence - FB, Whatsapp, SMS). For THREE times I tried to take him out of this situation.
Three times he said "yeah man, you're right. I should start living again instead of work-home-work-home-drink-home-work".

In April I gave him a kind of ultimatum: get back on tracks (start answering again the phone, start answering again on Whatsapp - etc..) or face the consequences.

I just called him because I did not have really anything else to do that saturday, so we went out for a couple of beers and a couple rounds at pool.
He talked about organizing something again with our friends.
I was vague, I let him understand that now there's is no more "our" schedule - just mine. And if I have time, we can arrange something.

Went back home, felt asleep.

Sunday 20th: decided to re-check Dwarf Fortress (the nerdy side of my life) to check out the new version.
I would suggest to avoid destroying your life by trying to please a bunch of dwarves running around in a fortress trying to fulfill something that you can't even understand.

Monday 21th: Dwarf Fortress, again. It had been helpful to me: while playing, I have time to think and to relax.

Tuesday 22th: Invited having dinner by the owner of the club. Went there, the good looking female bartender was there too.
Had a nice dinner, kept her at the adequate distance (she is the one telling me "we're just friends" - I never said yes or no and I will keep it that way).
The club was.. well, packed full? We went there at midnight, started drinking seriously with a bunch of guys over there.
Some girls joined in, for a grand total of four. Probably more interested in the southafrican/austrialian looking guy close to me (I am a man and I would call him a 9 - he was really handsome and charming).
Luckily, he was a lousy entertainer - and that's the moment I join in the fray.

Round table with me, The 9 and the four lizards of the apocalypse (a 4, a 6, a 7 and an 8).
After 10 minutes of bantering, I am checking the body Language of all of them.
The 6 is looking at the 9 and she's eyefucking him. Good, so we have 3 targets left.

After the 10 minutes of bantering the 9 asked me a question that put me into FULL-ASSHOLE mode.
It was not the question in itself, it was the tone, like "you do that, right? So tell us".

She asked me how much does a call girl costs in Milan.
I replied, smirking, that I probably was the wrong person to ask this kind of questions.
A couple of seconds after that, asshole smile and .. "Why? Are you looking for work here?"

Everyone (with the exception of this girl) started laughing at the table.
The conversation went on for 30 minutes more. She was trying to make me look dumb everytime I said something.
Obviously, she obtained the specular effect: everything I was saying was far more funnier than her (unpolite) remarks.

Left the club at 03.30, due to the 7 going to bed, the 6 "disappeared" with the SA/Aussie guy. The 4 was too drunk even to stay on her feet.

The 9 was still trying to ruin my night: at 01.30 I went playing at the console for around 45 minutes with the "silent disco" and she tried to steer everyone from the blue channel (my channel) to the green one (her mobile phone).
Sadly, she did not realize I was not really playing MY set but I was playing a pre-recorded one (I left my DJ gear at home, since I was there just to have dinner).
She tried to disrupt 2 pickups attempt I did by starting speaking with the girl while I was doing the same (THANKS AGAIN ROOSH FOR THE COCKBLOCKER LINE... It works wonder!) and a second time she started dancing with a girl I was dancing already.

Wednesday 23th
Hard day at work. Back home, slept at 20.00 until 07.00 (I woke up at 7 after going to sleep at 4...).

Thursday 24th
Boring day at work. Back home, quick dinner, shower & shave and then again on the road.
Bounced at the club, empty. Left 20 minutes after. Bounced in 2 other venues, met some friends there and chatted all night with them about our upcoming travel in september (Berlin/Budapest/Poland - discussion underway).

Friday 25th
Extra-Boring day at work. Back home, quick shower, quick check of facebook.. The girl I dated in post #27 answered my message on FB. I sent her the pics I took with her in the club.

She was waiting the next day for her mother at her place here in Milan and she was cleaning the house.
I offered my "service" so she can get done with it quickly and told her we could meet at 22.00 for a drink.

She declined laughing. 45 minutes later, I was at her place, sending a message ("Well, I am here. I can't remember which door is the right one").
She called me crazy, opened up the door.
She's still a 7 even without makeup, that's good.
She offered me a coffee, still calling me "mad, crazy guy".
We had some time laughing toghether, then I decided (wrongly, probably) to not push for a quickie.
Bounced away from her place to the club, the 9 that hated me was still there.
Had a quick drink, made a couple of phone calls and decided to head home due to the bad weather: most of my friends were already running back home under the heavy rain and/or they stayed at home.

Saturday 26th
Bad weather still lingering. Just a quick beer with a couple of colleagues in a good pubs close to the city center. The pub was mostly empty, just a few guys around and some couples.
Went home early.

Sunday 27th
Relax day. I feel recharged from not over-gaming and I think next week will be pretty interesting. 75% of the people I know are on Holiday or are going to be there soon, so I have all the time I need to approach (mostly) tourist girls at night.

Planning is still underway.


Thanks for reading.
JM.

[Dalaran1991]

IMO you could do better by finding a hobby/routine that put you in contact with lotta girls. Bar hopping like u described here is not optimal. If you are under 40, sign up for dance class/cooking class/instrument etc. Learn a new skill and meet chicks, while putting on a cool hobby.

Also, cut out your beta friends. U cant help those who wont help themselves. It sounds cruel, but who said life isnt?

[JoeMusashi]

(07-28-2014 04:24 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

IMO you could do better by finding a hobby/routine that put you in contact with lotta girls. Bar hopping like u described here is not optimal. If you are under 40, sign up for dance class/cooking class/instrument etc. Learn a new skill and meet chicks, while putting on a cool hobby.

Also, cut out your beta friends. U cant help those who wont help themselves. It sounds cruel, but who said life isnt?

Bar hopping is not optimal.
Agreed.
This is something that I will take care of starting from September: Milan is completely dead in August (60-70% of residents are on Holiday) and as soon as I have finished working on finding a new home.

Currently the priority is, obviously, my new home.

My friend is not beta - he's not that kind of person.
He's one of the few "close to Alpha" person that I know and probably having been his wingmen for almost everything (travelling, friends etc..) put me into the "beta" relationship with him.

I think he got a little bit intimidated by my change: he never heard me say things like "Ok, IF I have time we could arrange a meeting with our (common) female friend (that we are not probably going to bang anyway)".

Tables have turned, so it's up to him NOW giving me a reason to make 100 km to visit him.

I still consider him a friend.
But his "radiosilence" is the last drop: I've endured a lot to keep our friendship up, including he having sex with the girl I was interested in a couple of years ago (he did not know I was interested, only the girl did, so that's why I blame myself and not him - he found out the day after, when he told me what happened).

Now he's on the "people I would contact if there is nothing else around to do" list.

[JoeMusashi]

"We built this city ... on rock'n'roll!" (Starship - We Built This City)

TLDR: Work, work, work. Bad weather outside. Tonight club with some chances of approaching and maybe banging.

Small summary of the last few days: WORK WORK (OVER)WORK .. And when I am coming back home.. RAIN RAIN RAIN.

Tonight I'll go to the club and try to pick up something, even if I am not in the right mood to do that.
The new house is my main worry and I am focusing all of my energy on that (visiting other houses to compare - and find something better).

The last few days helped me mending all my scratches and damage to my "emotional armor". Even if I am not in the right mood, I don't feel ashamed/damaged anymore from the last few weeks' rejections.

One of the girl I am dating is in Berlin right now: she will be back in a few days and I've already planned going out with a friend of mine and his GF, bringing her with me. Both my friend and his GF are really cool (surgeons) and well mannered/cultured, so I hope to use this as a kind of social proof with her.

Thanks everyone for reading.

[JoeMusashi]

Sorting it out. Now.

- One of the "friendzoned girl" will be dumped tonight.
Removed her from FB one month and half ago, when she told me again that "You're a person that is important to me, blah blah blah..". TWO days ago, she realized I was not anymore on her friend's list (so long to realize? Am I really important for you? I don't think so, girl.)
She phoned me on Wed, she was driving. I told her I don't speak to people when they are distracted.. "Call me back on friday evening - I won't talk to a person who is a driving a car at 130 km/h on an highway about something important".
I will probably push it for a last chance tonight (I'm out having dinner with some friends tonight, I'll clear the dinner at 22.30 and be at her place at 23.00) else, if I get the feeling at the phone that the "important person" means "we will not bang now, Tomorrow or ever" I'll just go to the club with some other guys.

- Logistics done, bought a new house. Finally I can leave my parent's place to live alone.
I'll move to my new house in the beginning of november (I am doing some basic renovation right now).
Already invited a girl to "check my new house" as soon as I'll have the mattress (Monday or Tuesday evening).
I hope for a bang, but we will see.

- Stopped approaching regularly for a while, since it saps my mental strenght and I have to do an important "exam/abiliation" in around 1 month + the new house thing. I will restart doing it seriously and regularly as soon as I'm done with the chores I have right now.

Everything's sorting out. A toxic "fake friend relationship" will probably end tonight and I think it will be messy. But I am okay with that, she messed with me too much.

Thanks again to the forum and Roosh - even If I was not posting I was reading it regularly and I think I have improved myself a lot. I realized (better late than never) that I am not in a world where everything with 2 boobs and a pussy is something to put on a pedestal and they're not saint.

It's time now to get to "play the game" like a man.

-