[Swedreams]

I have a friend *ahem* who had this problem once before with a girl he liked. So totally a psychological issue. Had no problem with other girls. What he did was to take half a Viagra with her, then a quarter of a pill the next time, an eigth a third time. Then there was no problem anymore. Kind of a shortcut to the real problem, but it worked to reduce stress and worrying about what the girl might think.

[Vaun]

(10-15-2014 01:31 AM)Fisto Wrote:  

This is a mental issue. You're likely still attached to some degree to you ex.

Don't worry with more bangs you'll be fine.

Also after you smash this girl the next time it will likely be better for you.

Whatever you do don't make any excuses. Just shrug your shoulders and hint that its because of her and not you.

I'm guessing you missed out on bangs partly because you made excuses or your frame was weak and she lost interest for the followip session.

Best advice here. Things become fine after the first/second time. For me its mental. This happens to me a lot during the first time I am with a girl. The first real time it bugged me about a year ago, I wrote about it.

I feel like the knee jerk reaction to this is "how much did you drink/fap/porn/sleep" But thats not always the issue.

I think there is a larger or deeper issue at play. This has happened at all levels on intoxication and sobriety, no fapping, etc. And then I can be absolutely wasted, be with my ex(currently still banging), and always be hard and have multiple ejac sessions with her, pretty much every time we are together.

I've learned to hold my frame when it happens to keep the mini-relationships going. I will acknowledge it in a charming endearing way, Im usually 10-15 yrs older anyway. Then I would finger bang or use a vibe on her to make her come, and just make the night all about her pussy. They want to know you want them, some women see that as a bad sign. So be honest and be a little vulnerable.

The ones where I ignored it or made excuses was when they went away for good. They wouldn't stick around to let me really bang them. That happened with a white Brazilian with a perfect ass last year. I swore I wouldn't let that happen again, because I wanted to bang her a few 100 times.

[kmhour]

(10-15-2014 09:16 AM)berserk Wrote:  

I think it is quite common, maybe with guys who have a tendency to get stuck in their heads too much.

I'm definitely the type of person who overthinks things/gets stuck in his head and that may not play into the first episode, but it'll mindfuck you for the next one.

Gas, I read around and tried some citrulline mallate powder. Honestly I don't think it really had much of an effect but mentally anything that jogs your thought process can't hurt.

[Gas]

OK, so just had her over again and we banged. It took me a while to get it up but I did get it up eventually. I had to lie down, relax, and have her climb on top of me. After that it was all fine.

When I went for a round 2 around one hour later, I got the same problem though. I know this is a mental thing and it's something I'm going to need to work on.

Thanks for all the advice guys.

[Ternarydemonite]

Performance anxiety at such age is almost certainly a mental issue. If for any chance you are uncomfortable with the situation or the girl, you get stressed and liberate cortisol, among other hormones. Such compounds will certainly prevent you from getting an erection. it once happened to me when she got drunk and began to curse literally like a sailor. Boner killer.

Besides the mental issues (anxiety, experience, attitude of both), something which always helps to relax is a couple of drinks and/or weed.

[Gas]

I've been thinking I would perform best when completely sober, but I can see how a couple glasses of wine could definitely help loosen up the nerves. Will try.

[bigbait]

It seems like most of us think that ED is almost always psychological. You guys might be interested in knowing that the medical consensus on this has changed.

Quote:

Over the past decades, the medical perspective on the causes of erectile dysfunction has shifted. Common belief used to attribute almost all cases of ED to psychological factors. Now doctors believe that up to 85% of ED cases are caused by medical or physical problems. Only 15% are completely psychologically based. Sometimes, erectile dysfunction is due to a combination of physical and psychological causes.

Source: Erectile dysfunction | University of Maryland Medical Center http://umm.edu/health/medical/reports/ar...ysfunction

[rottenapple]

(10-17-2014 05:08 PM)bigbait Wrote:  

It seems like most of us think that ED is almost always psychological. You guys might be interested in knowing that the medical consensus on this has changed.

Quote:

Over the past decades, the medical perspective on the causes of erectile dysfunction has shifted. Common belief used to attribute almost all cases of ED to psychological factors. Now doctors believe that up to 85% of ED cases are caused by medical or physical problems. Only 15% are completely psychologically based. Sometimes, erectile dysfunction is due to a combination of physical and psychological causes.

Source: Erectile dysfunction | University of Maryland Medical Center http://umm.edu/health/medical/reports/ar...ysfunction

Strongly agree. I think many times a physical problem can lead to less blood flow, so not erectile dysfunction per se but a less strong erection. (Especially with all the shit people are eating these days. There is a reason why ED is much more common now then before, the minds didnt change but food and environment did.) Then when this happens the mind conscious or not panics and so begins the true dysfunction. In the same way boosting the physical side can then influence the mind and as such resolve your problem.

[Gas]

So the question to ask here is, what dietary/physiological changes will improve this? Which foods do we avoid and which do we consume more of? What helps increase bloodflow?

I know porn is suspected to be a big culprit, as is a sedentary lifestyle and shitty diet, but none of those are factors for me. So it's either mental or something else.

[l.smetana]

Dealing with a similar situation now and it is not pleasant to say the least. Long story short - met this girl, she just broke up after 6 years, we started to date together and fast forward first sex sucked. Couldnt stay hard. Second and third was just fine and now fourth and fifth I didnt even finished. I mindfucked myself over on the 6th one, when only thing I was able to think about was "dont fuck it up this time mate". I am on noFap, it has been about a week now without busting a nut and just came home from her place. It feels like a curse now, even though I was doing just fine with other girl 2 weeks ago... She (the "cursed" one) got to the point of talking about her ex and his dick size (Yes. No kidding. I know.), which didn't help either. In fact, it triggered my anxiety from past days and brought up the insecurities. I know it is psychological for sure as I am getting morning woods, I guess I just need to brake the pattern or let go? Will get some Zinc tomorrow for starters and hopefully check T-levels as well.

[Blancpain]

Its psychological.
Buy cialis, take a 1/4 dose.
In 30 mins you will be rock hard.

Happened to me alot.

It's due to either stress or excessive fapping.

By the way, no girl in the world will be cool if you can't get it up. It either means you are a weak man or have no attraction towards her (in her eyes)
There is generic cialis online, you can get it for very cheap.

1/4th of a dose will do the job.

(10-18-2014 02:53 AM)Gas Wrote:  

So the question to ask here is, what dietary/physiological changes will improve this? Which foods do we avoid and which do we consume more of? What helps increase bloodflow?

I know porn is suspected to be a big culprit, as is a sedentary lifestyle and shitty diet, but none of those are factors for me. So it's either mental or something else.

A long dry spell might be causing it as well. I had this same problem after a dry spell of 9 months.

[l.smetana]

(02-08-2018 05:22 AM)Blancpain Wrote:  

Its psychological.
Buy cialis, take a 1/4 dose.
In 30 mins you will be rock hard.

Happened to me alot.

It's due to excessive fapping or porn.

Thinking about what someone above mentioned - 1 pill for the first time, half for second and one-fourth for the third time. Should get whatever is happening to be gone. On side note, getting my T-levels checked tomorrow and got Zinc just now.

Quit porn year ago, fapping hasn't happend for past week. Also found out that my uni offers "psychological consultant service" or so, maybe will give it a shot. I dont really want to start Cialis treatment for now, until I try other - not pharmaceutical ways first.

I honestly think it has something to do with my "small-dick-complex". Even after 30 happy girls. Go figure. Girl mentioning her BF over 2 meters tall and his proportions didnt help either, ha! Must be hamster running wild in my brain, but how to stop it is the million dollar question.

[Blancpain]

(02-08-2018 05:30 AM)l.smetana Wrote:  

(02-08-2018 05:22 AM)Blancpain Wrote:  

Its psychological.
Buy cialis, take a 1/4 dose.
In 30 mins you will be rock hard.

Happened to me alot.

It's due to excessive fapping or porn.

Thinking about what someone above mentioned - 1 pill for the first time, half for second and one-fourth for the third time. Should get whatever is happening to be gone. On side note, getting my T-levels checked tomorrow and got Zinc just now.

Quit porn year ago, fapping hasn't happend for past week. Also found out that my uni offers "psychological consultant service" or so, maybe will give it a shot. I dont really want to start Cialis treatment for now, until I try other - not pharmaceutical ways first.

I honestly think it has something to do with my "small-dick-complex". Even after 30 happy girls. Go figure. Girl mentioning her BF over 2 meters tall and his proportions didnt help either, ha! Must be hamster running wild in my brain, but how to stop it is the million dollar question.

1 cialis is too much. First time I tried it I took 1 pill, the side effects were bad. My pulse changed, got a headache.

1/4th of a dose is the sweet spot. It will increase your confidence and your girl will worship you like a greed god. One of its positive side effects on me was that it made me last well over 20 minutes. Usually after 5-6 mins I used to ejaculate with cialis it increases to 15-20 and sometimes I just cant orgasm : )

[l.smetana]

[/quote]

1 cialis is too much. First time I tried it I took 1 pill, the side effects were bad. My pulse changed, got a headache.

1/4th of a dose is the sweet spot. It will increase your confidence and your girl will worship you like a greed god. One of its positive side effects on me was that it made me last well over 20 minutes. Usually after 5-6 mins I used to ejaculate with cialis it increases to 15-20 and sometimes I just cant orgasm : )
[/quote]

Thanks, will act accordingly. Just searching source for Europe, thanks the big player this forum has everything.


Cialis is a great solution for once, but I cant live on Cialis for a long time. I will give it a shot though. Maybe just fucking her good few times will do the trick and I can move on.

[Slofie]

After a 1 year of frustration magic pill really worked. It makes me feel 20 again. I got an erection after 15 minutes and was able to put on a condom without rushing or worrying about losing my erection. Allows me to be very effective for about 4 to 6 hours with a quick recovery time. This is a great medicine, but don't overuse.

[JackinMelbourne]

(10-15-2014 12:07 AM)Gas Wrote:  

It seems to happen only with new girls. When I've got a regular girl, it's never a problem.

Maybe you fear your cock touching someone else's cum inside her pussy.

Not joking either. If she's a new girl and you haven't locked her down, she's probably getting dicked plenty.

[Guitarhappy420]

It means you're GAY and you'll never be able to get it up again for the rest of your life....

Just JOKING.... sounds like normal performance anxiety. We men are socialized to believe we're so tough until our real vulnerabilities rear their ugly head, and you just hit on the biggest vulnerability there is. Just give it a little time to sort itself out and you'll be just fine.

If I could offer one bit of advice - make sure your bladder is completely empty before you bang. You know that when you get aroused the plumbing from your bladder shuts down and the plumbing from your prostate, seminal vesicles, Cowper's glands, etc, open up. You can't pee and ejaculate at the same time, right? So if you've already been making out etc it can be difficult to empty the bladder completely. That itself produces a lot of anxiety even at a level below your direct conscious attention.

It might not be convenient to stop in the middle if you have to pee but that's something women understand very well. You might also want to avoid cafeine and alcohol directly before having sex because they are diuretics. I'm over 70 and I never have a problem getting it up but if I have to pee I definitely can't wait till later to drain the tank.