[Laser]

Sorry for the wall of text. Would appreciate some advice.

Background:

I met a girl on Tinder back in January. She's not your typical girl on Tinder - she downloaded it, I met her, and she deleted "that stupid app" (her words) shortly after.

We banged on the second date. She's was a university student in a city several hours away. Her parents live in my city. She visits them once every month or so and always sets aside a night to hang with me and bang.

I text her every few days or so following good text game principles (no emoticons, short statements, taking longer to respond, etc.). Most of the times she texts back immediately, and her text is always the last one (I end the convos). If I don't hit her up for a few days longer than normal she'll send me a feeler text.

Whenever we are together, she is very affectionate, often initiating short makeouts throughout the date activity.

Having graduated over the summer, she is planning to move to my city in the fall for work, and we have discussed our mutual excitement at being able to see each other more frequently.

Issue:

About a month ago, I sent a few messages over what's app over the course of a week and received no response. The app said she hadn't checked my messages. She was travelling at the time, so that may explain it.

I sent her a hail mary text "Hey girl, still alive?" and got an instant response "Hello! Yes, alive and abroad for a few more days how goes?"

I sent her 2 more messages over the course of the following week which have not been responded to. She may still be abroad, so that may be the reason.

Question:
How should I proceed from here?

This fuck buddy relationship is most likely over, but I am certain I could turn it around if I could wrangle a date once she moves to my city. I would like to keep pushing until she confirms its over, but in a manner which isn't needy and that will drive her to that conclusion.

Note: This is not a case of oneitis. I have been dating and fucking multiple other girls in my city the entire time we've been fuck buddies. I don't rub it in her face, but she is aware of this. I don't believe she is fucking anyone else regularly, but I have not asked as I do not care.

Cliffs
I have a fuck buddy that lives in a different city
We bang when she is in town every month or so
I have run strong text game to date to keep this arrangement going
Fuck buddy is always very affectionate when we are together
Fuck buddy has lately grown non-responsive, but there may be mitigating circumstances
How should I proceed?

[Anthony A. King]

Personally, during this down time I would get other fuck buddies.

Its pretty simple, don't be afraid to next the girl or move on to others. in fact that's what you always should be doing.

Also remember to only give in a third of what she gives. You've already sent 2 texts that are have not been responded too. You should stop their and leave her to pick up the conversation if she wants to-meanwhile you need to be getting other fuck buddies.

Then you should proceed based on whatever the girl does( if she texts then set up another bang, if she doesn't leave her alone and move on).

Whatever you do don't make her think your desperate, so its better to make that the actual case.

[Deluge]

Cut off all contact for now. Wait till when she's supposed to be moving to your city then text her about "catching up" now that she's back from her travels.

[jariel]

[Quintus Curtius]

Not much you can do about this. Do NOT pursue. Stop looking needy.

Let it alone for about 2 weeks. Maybe send one friendly, neutral, "how's your day going" bullshit text. That's your "take away."

Then walk away.

Chicks flake or lose interest for 10,000 reasons, and you'll never know why. On to the next prong.

[Rawmeo]

Cut it off. Wait until she returns, then try 1 text. If no response, just move on and get another girl.

[Donkey_Riding]

(10-05-2014 03:40 AM)Laser Wrote:  

I text her every few days or so following good text game principles

I have a fuck buddy that lives in a different city
We bang when she is in town every month or so

Why do you text her every few days when you only meet her once a month? If she's really a "fuck buddy" she shouldn't even be on your mind when you're not together. You should really only ever be texting her for the purpose of arranging a meetup.

Also, I'm not sure whether your frame is entirely congruent. You call her a "fuck buddy" but you also mention "dates" and "activities." If she's really a fuck buddy, you shouldn't be going on "dates" at all. Just have her over to hangout and fuck.

You're seriously overthinking this situation. She either wants to keep fucking you, or she doesn't; you can't control which. If she doesn't want to keep fucking you, nothing you text her will turn that around. Blowing up her phone, on the other hand, may very well drive her away.

Cut contact until she replies to you. If she doesn't reply for a while, you can try sending a restart text a few weeks after you think she's back in town.

[OregonToSoCal]

Stop chasing her! Do not send her any more texts until she reaches out to you first. It may be a few days, few weeks, few months or never but absolutely do not contact her until she contacts you first. Then when she does get right down to business and setup a specific time and place to get together. Don't go back and forth endlessly texting, use the phone for setting up dates and then get the hell off and back to the business of gaming other women. If a woman wants to see you she will make up any kind of excuse to contact you. It doesn't matter if she sends you a joke, asks you a question about something random like making tuna casserole or any other seemingly useless shit. Take that to mean she wants to hookup and set the date!

[Laser]

Thanks for all the input guys. Maybe Fuck Buddy was an inaccurate term - I think "plate" would be more accurate as I do put in the minimal effort of a few texts every couple days to maintain the relationship.

I followed the forum's advice and went no contact. Yesterday she messaged me apologizing profusely, saying her phone was on the fritz while abroad and my messages just came through.

No matter, we are meeting up tomorrow so all is good. Thanks again.

[heavy]

The thread title says everything. We all had an idea of what we'd see when we clicked.

You don't "proceed" with a fuck buddy.

Be honest with yourself...of one or more of the following: (1) You like her as more than just fb, (2) you have a shortage of girls, (3) you're upset if she's moved on at all.

I agree with the advice above.

[Biologist]

I've been in this situation so many times. Female attraction is very fickle.

Above all, do not appear needy or desperate for her attention. Make sure that you've lined up other leads in case she flakes.

[Ternarydemonite]

Millennial women gain and loose attraction almost instantly, so even if you were the alpha of the week who fucking her one day, the next day she may cut off contact with you forever.

Her feelings are feral and completely unpredictable, but the effects are not: she cut you out. Also, if you met her via tinder, keep in mind that she has a constant stream of guys with equal or more value to her than you, along with dozens of orbiters to validate her.

She will not miss or think about you at all. Nothing lasts forever, and mini-relationships with millennial women can sometimes be measured in days, if not hours. Move on, do not emotionally invest, spin plates and be ready to eject at any moment. Easier said than done, of course.

[Geomann180]

Get a new fuck buddy.

G

[Sturmgeist]

Go no contact, find new fuck buddies (plural) and try and re-engage a few months from now if you still want to bang.