[Enigma]

Ok, guys. I need some advice.

I fucked this chick a couple times. I'm pretty paranoid about condom use, but the last time we fucked, I couldn't cum the second time so I pulled it off. Pulled out.

Talked to her a while (at least a month or two) later and she confessed that she had a fiancee. They were arguing constantly and were in an "off" period when she met me. But now she was pregnant. I confirmed it was his, and she was like "of course, I'm barely pregnant blah blah".

She hits me up today because they broke up and he told her he had a vasectomy. He's in his 50's so it's possible, but she talked like they had been trying to have a baby for the last year and he never said anything. Also, some vasectomies fail. I partially think he found out she fucked someone else and used the vasectomy excuse to break up with her/spite her.

Anyways, she was now saying it must be mine, since she was "fertile" the last time we had sex (yet she's not even sure of the exact date) and ever since then, she was "waiting on her period" (again, she's not even sure of the exact date and a couple weeks ago was sure it wasn't mine).

I denied. She was basically trying to guilt me into accepting responsibility as a father but more on a "be in his life" kind of thing and not saying anything financially. Now she's waiting on a "checkup" to see how pregnant she is.

I tried bringing up abortion theoretically. She seemed on the fence but ultimately doesn't seem down for it.

I'm really not sure what to do next. I really DO NOT want a child and have no moral qualms about abortion.

I didn't even plan on being here another 7 to 9 months anyways and she doesn't know my full name (though theoretically she may be able to find out through my apartment). At the same time, I'm also not sure I want to just dip out of the country with the thought that I may have a kid out there.

Any advice is much appreciated.

[placer]

Based on your description of the sex, it sounds like you are not the father.

If she does have the kid, and tries to make you responsible for it, make sure to have a genetic paternity test done before signing any "you are the father" paperwork the state may try and foist upon you.

[Enigma]

(09-10-2014 05:13 AM)placer Wrote:  

Based on your description of the sex, it sounds like you are not the father.

If she does have the kid, and tries to make you responsible for it, make sure to have a genetic paternity test done before signing any "you are the father" paperwork the state may try and foist upon you.

Yeah, I would definitely get a DNA test done.

But what do I do in the meantime? Talk to her, ignore her? Stay here, leave the country?

I didn't even plan on being here that long, so I'm tempted to just disappear. That way she doesn't see me as a viable option to pin the pregnancy on -- if that's her intention -- and I have leverage.

Then I can always come back later and get a paternity test, if necessary.

Or I could stay in contact and try to convince her to have an abortion.

[El Chinito loco]

There's no way of you knowing whether it's your kid or not at this point. If it's not the 50 year old geezer's then how do you know it's not some other unknown party she got banged out by? There's just too much uncertainty. You could always come back for a paternity test. Paying for an abortion could cover your bases but if it's not your kid anyways then it's a waste of time and money. Another possibility is that she could also be lying about everything to keep you around.

[Enigma]

(09-10-2014 05:54 AM)El Chinito loco Wrote:  

There's no way of you knowing whether it's your kid or not at this point. If it's not the 50 year old geezer's then how do you know it's not some other unknown party she got banged out by? There's just too much uncertainty. You could always come back for a paternity test. Paying for an abortion could cover your bases but if it's not your kid anyways then it's a waste of time and money. Another possibility is that she could also be lying about everything to keep you around.

I'm not anywhere close to rich or even well off, but I'd rather pay for an abortion and not have it hanging over my head for the next however many months.

Even if there's only a 10% chance the kid is mine, I'd rather drop a grand and make it 0%. That's how much I do not want a child.

I do think there's a chance either the guy is lying about having a vasectomy, the vasectomy failed, the girl is lying about fucking some other guy, or some combination of the above. I'm estimating it's been about two weeks since I last talked to her, and at that point it seemed accepted that she was back with the fiancee long enough for him to get her pregnant and the kid was his. But I want to separate myself as far from the situation as possible.

[El Chinito loco]

(09-10-2014 06:04 AM)Enigma Wrote:  

Even if there's only a 10% chance the kid is mine, I'd rather drop a grand and make it 0%. That's how much I do not want a child.

If peace of mind is worth it to you then by all means go for it. You should consider telling her as bluntly as possible that you'll be going with her to make sure it's done. Even if you have no plans of ever going with her to do this you should still make it seem convincing that you would.

If she's lying then chances are good you'll hear inconsistencies with her story or reluctance in allowing you to come with her for the abortion.

I would not recommend forking money over sight unseen in any case.

[Enigma]

(09-10-2014 06:22 AM)El Chinito loco Wrote:  

If peace of mind is worth it to you then by all means go for it. You should consider telling her as bluntly as possible that you'll be going with her to make sure it's done. Even if you have no plans of ever going with her to do this you should still make it seem convincing that you would.

If she's lying then chances are good you'll hear inconsistencies with her story or reluctance in allowing you to come with her for the abortion.

I would not recommend forking money over sight unseen in any case.

The problem is that she's against it right now and it's not legal here in the Phils. I'd have to convince her to go to another country.

I'm actually thinking about it now...she claims we had sex on July 19th and she was fertile at that time. That would mean she was due to have her period late July/early August at the latest.

So her period was late for an entire month before she talked to me or her fiancee. And she still hasn't seen a doctor.

Doesn't really add up. If she was in tune enough with her cycle to know when she was fertile, seems like she would have been quicker to follow up after she missed her period.

Also, I saw her out and about around a week or two after we last had sex, and she was not with her fiancee at that time. That would have been around the time of her period. Yet she was certain he was the father.

I usually save all my texts for this reason but my current phone only holds so many and the chick I'm seeing is crazy jealous so I deleted them. Would've really helped to know exact dates.

[El Chinito loco]

(09-10-2014 07:22 AM)Enigma Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 06:22 AM)El Chinito loco Wrote:  

If peace of mind is worth it to you then by all means go for it. You should consider telling her as bluntly as possible that you'll be going with her to make sure it's done. Even if you have no plans of ever going with her to do this you should still make it seem convincing that you would.

If she's lying then chances are good you'll hear inconsistencies with her story or reluctance in allowing you to come with her for the abortion.

I would not recommend forking money over sight unseen in any case.

The problem is that she's against it right now and it's not legal here in the Phils. I'd have to convince her to go to another country.

I'm actually thinking about it now...she claims we had sex on July 19th and she was fertile at that time. That would mean she was due to have her period late July/early August at the latest.

So her period was late for an entire month before she talked to me or her fiancee. And she still hasn't seen a doctor.

Doesn't really add up. If she was in tune enough with her cycle to know when she was fertile, seems like she would have been quicker to follow up after she missed her period.

I didn't notice your Phi location flag but yeah that does complicate matters. I've never had a pregnancy scare there (yet) but know many people who have. I wouldn't worry too much over this. Her account of things seem very sketchy though. Filipinas love to try and rope guys in with pregnancy claims. It's practically a national pasttime outside of basketball.

This is a bit extreme but maybe consider installing a keylogger or finding a reason to read msgs off her phone. See if she's made similar claims to anyone else. I'd exhaust all the practical options before i'd act.

[Onto]

You would need to know her cycle. Is it 14, 21,28,31 days?

If you need to know if you're the Father I would wait until the child is old enough where you could administer a personal DNA test. They have those at home kits now. This way if it's yours, you have more options of what to do.

If you want to know if she's lying to you, sit her down, look her in the eye and say with a calm, firm voice, "Now tell me who the Father is". Then watch her reaction while listening to your gut. That may give you some insight into the truth of all this. Maybe not, but it's worth a try.

[Dr. Howard]

(09-10-2014 05:42 AM)Enigma Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 05:13 AM)placer Wrote:  

Based on your description of the sex, it sounds like you are not the father.

If she does have the kid, and tries to make you responsible for it, make sure to have a genetic paternity test done before signing any "you are the father" paperwork the state may try and foist upon you.

Yeah, I would definitely get a DNA test done.

But what do I do in the meantime? Talk to her, ignore her? Stay here, leave the country?

I didn't even plan on being here that long, so I'm tempted to just disappear. That way she doesn't see me as a viable option to pin the pregnancy on -- if that's her intention -- and I have leverage.

Then I can always come back later and get a paternity test, if necessary.

Or I could stay in contact and try to convince her to have an abortion.

In the meantime, scare the shit out of her. Pay a $300, get a family lawyer to send her a letter saying that the paternity is suspect and you would require a DNA test to establish paternity.

[The Beast1]

(09-10-2014 08:49 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 05:42 AM)Enigma Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 05:13 AM)placer Wrote:  

Based on your description of the sex, it sounds like you are not the father.

If she does have the kid, and tries to make you responsible for it, make sure to have a genetic paternity test done before signing any "you are the father" paperwork the state may try and foist upon you.

Yeah, I would definitely get a DNA test done.

But what do I do in the meantime? Talk to her, ignore her? Stay here, leave the country?

I didn't even plan on being here that long, so I'm tempted to just disappear. That way she doesn't see me as a viable option to pin the pregnancy on -- if that's her intention -- and I have leverage.

Then I can always come back later and get a paternity test, if necessary.

Or I could stay in contact and try to convince her to have an abortion.

In the meantime, scare the shit out of her. Pay a $300, get a family lawyer to send her a letter saying that the paternity is suspect and you would require a DNA test to establish paternity.

Bad advice, there's a 50/50 chance it could be his. Play it cool. If she keeps it, have a paternity test done immediately at birth to establish paternity. Otherwise, press for an abortion, go to the clinic with her, and then remove her from the rotation.

Chick is either trying to hold you down, or doesn't know how to take the pill properly. Either way, it's a sign of stupid. Bail once the problem goes away.

[El Chinito loco]

Btw this is really region specific. It's "illegal" in the Phi and she's also resistant to the idea. All babies are gifts in the Phi after all. Aside from punching her in the stomach really hard there isn't much left to do except try and do a little spycraft and social engineering and confirm if it's really his or not. Then go from there.

[Old Fritz]

All you have to do is get a DNA test when the baby is born. If it really is yours then there is no need to associate yourself with the girl at all; though you will have to make payments.

It's up to you to decide whether or not you'll be in the child's life.

[TheWastelander]

(09-10-2014 08:52 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 08:49 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 05:42 AM)Enigma Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 05:13 AM)placer Wrote:  

Based on your description of the sex, it sounds like you are not the father.

If she does have the kid, and tries to make you responsible for it, make sure to have a genetic paternity test done before signing any "you are the father" paperwork the state may try and foist upon you.

Yeah, I would definitely get a DNA test done.

But what do I do in the meantime? Talk to her, ignore her? Stay here, leave the country?

I didn't even plan on being here that long, so I'm tempted to just disappear. That way she doesn't see me as a viable option to pin the pregnancy on -- if that's her intention -- and I have leverage.

Then I can always come back later and get a paternity test, if necessary.

Or I could stay in contact and try to convince her to have an abortion.

In the meantime, scare the shit out of her. Pay a $300, get a family lawyer to send her a letter saying that the paternity is suspect and you would require a DNA test to establish paternity.

Bad advice, there's a 50/50 chance it could be his.

How do you know this?

[Sp5]

(09-10-2014 09:14 AM)Old Fritz Wrote:  

All you have to do is get a DNA test when the baby is born. If it really is yours then there is no need to associate yourself with the girl at all; though you will have to make payments.

It's up to you to decide whether or not you'll be in the child's life.

Yeah, in the PI, $300 a month child support would be super.

[Duke Castile]

Let's back up a step here.

How sure are you that you and this other guy are the only ones banging her?

I've had these girls try this crap from time to time and lo and behold, months later they say "I lost the baby".

It's a power play. Especially if she's not mentioning money. She wants you to replace the 50 year old boyfriend.

She wants an emotional response and to gauge your responses.

First you tell her that if she's pregnant and it's yours, you are not going to be in this baby's life at all (doesn't matter if you're bluffing).

Tell her this is her decision and you want no part of it and to have a nice life.

Block her on one of the mediums you're talking to her on.

When she shows up on another one tell her "I told you I want no part of this. I don't believe you, and I don't want your bullshit drama".

Then block her on that one. (this will hasten the "I lost the baby" story as she will still want to talk to you and will invent this part of the story so you guys can go back to "normal")

Look at her instagram or her fb in a month or two. If she's actually pregnant she will be posting photos that hint about that. Filipinas love that kind of attention. She'll also fake it though by buying clothes and posting photos of that shit.

I seriously doubt her claims. It's not that easy to get pregnant, even when they are "fertile".

Anyway, if she actually is pregnant keep tabs on all this from afar. Decide if you want to be in the kids life or not.

Have the DNA test done.

Go from there.

[kosko]

@OP Did you take a piss prior to going in for round 2?

I ask this because this is how my homie got dinged with one of his spawns. He thinks that he had left over sperm in his shaft from his first nut and it sneaked in while he was trying to go in on round 2.

Those are just the technical aspects I ask.

As for the woman's word? I wouldn't trust it. Woman have very little idea of how to pin point their most fertile days. Its a tricky thing that varies for most women but they can get a general idea but not to the exact point she can say she was "fertile" when yall fucked. She has baby rabies so she is fishing for any dude she can right now in reaching her goal in getting knocked up. I would try to be very caution in remembering her cycles. IF you are talking with a girl for 2 months that is more then enough time for her to loosely drop she is on her period when you are trying to smash. You will likley find out that week, or she kinda just fades away during that time. This is important because a woman's "window" is usually right before or after her rag while the rest of the time she is a barren and unable to conceive. If you can figure this out then it can help you track down when it all went down.

The only thing is that you need time to narrow down all these points and if you have no physical attachment to where you are I would make escape plans and not tell her just in case. Some countries you can rot in a jail for this type of stuff but they can't do shit once your on the outside.

I am ruthless with this type of stuff. I would be planning my escape if I was in your shoes..



I won't let any reckless woman ruin my life. She can come find me if she wants but I won't sit around and take 'her word' for anything.

[saeta119]

the cycles thing can be all different, sure some women can have their cycles tuned up, so that they get it on the exact same date.

But I've dated many people whose cycles tend to vary for any reason, so it can be a week before or after and then they usually wait another week or two before freaking out about being pregnant.

I was once banging this girl who barely got her period, it was too stressful dealing with that.

[FrenchCanadian]

like J.Cole would say, ''tell that bitch get an abortion''

[aSimpNamedBrokeback]

(09-10-2014 09:35 AM)kosko Wrote:  

This is important because a woman's "window" is usually right before or after her rag while the rest of the time she is a barren and unable to conceive.

Quote:

http://americanpregnancy.org/gettingpreg...ionfaq.htm
The Association estimates that this is anywhere between 11-21 days since the last menstrual period (LMP), or 12-16 days from when you expect the next menstrual period to start.

It's right in the middle of the cycle. With my second kid I knew my wife was pregnant before she did because we were smashing everyday during that time. She actually missed the prior month trying just before her period.

To the OP, it sounds like your being had. The baby was his until they broke up, now its yours. Funny how that works.

[Enigma]

(09-10-2014 09:33 AM)Fisto Wrote:  

Let's back up a step here.

How sure are you that you and this other guy are the only ones banging her?

I've had these girls try this crap from time to time and lo and behold, months later they say "I lost the baby".

It's a power play. Especially if she's not mentioning money. She wants you to replace the 50 year old boyfriend.

She wants an emotional response and to gauge your responses.

First you tell her that if she's pregnant and it's yours, you are not going to be in this baby's life at all (doesn't matter if you're bluffing).

Tell her this is her decision and you want no part of it and to have a nice life.

Block her on one of the mediums you're talking to her on.

When she shows up on another one tell her "I told you I want no part of this. I don't believe you, and I don't want your bullshit drama".

Then block her on that one. (this will hasten the "I lost the baby" story as she will still want to talk to you and will invent this part of the story so you guys can go back to "normal")

Look at her instagram or her fb in a month or two. If she's actually pregnant she will be posting photos that hint about that. Filipinas love that kind of attention. She'll also fake it though by buying clothes and posting photos of that shit.

I seriously doubt her claims. It's not that easy to get pregnant, even when they are "fertile".

Anyway, if she actually is pregnant keep tabs on all this from afar. Decide if you want to be in the kids life or not.

Have the DNA test done.

Go from there.

Thanks for the insight. No offense to the other guys, but I was hoping for some advice for someone who had encountered something like this specifically in the Phils.

This just happened a few hours ago so I was taken off guard but going over all our other interactions, she actually was claiming to be falling in love and even suggested us moving in together (so she wouldn't have to go back to her province). This came off as very strange, as we had only ever met at my place and she would leave immediately after sex.

Then she got back with the fiancee and deleted my number.

And suddenly they break up (yesterday) and I'm the father of her child.

Also, she kept asking questions about wouldn't I want to be the father, what would I think if it were mine, saying I was a "good man" and would do the right thing. I thought it was a guilt trip thing but it's very possible that she was fishing for an idea of where I stood. She kept playing up how she wasn't trying to "come after me" blah blah blah.

Plus, it's very strange that it would have been over a month since she missed her period, at least, yet she hasn't been to the doctor and this whole situation is just unfolding for me and the fiancee. She can't even know for sure that she's actually pregnant without seeing a doctor.

(09-10-2014 09:35 AM)kosko Wrote:  

@OP Did you take a piss prior to going in for round 2?

I ask this because this is how my homie got dinged with one of his spawns. He thinks that he had left over sperm in his shaft from his first nut and it sneaked in while he was trying to go in on round 2.

Those are just the technical aspects I ask.

Well, like I mentioned, I am very paranoid about getting a girl pregnant. Time and girls are a bit of a blur to me, but I think I did take a piss. Because I would probably have been freaking out about going raw afterwards since I know some sperm can remain.

I'm certain she blew me for five minutes or so in between, not sure if that affects anything.

Quote:

As for the woman's word? I wouldn't trust it. Woman have very little idea of how to pin point their most fertile days. Its a tricky thing that varies for most women but they can get a general idea but not to the exact point she can say she was "fertile" when yall fucked. She has baby rabies so she is fishing for any dude she can right now in reaching her goal in getting knocked up. I would try to be very caution in remembering her cycles. IF you are talking with a girl for 2 months that is more then enough time for her to loosely drop she is on her period when you are trying to smash. You will likley find out that week, or she kinda just fades away during that time. This is important because a woman's "window" is usually right before or after her rag while the rest of the time she is a barren and unable to conceive. If you can figure this out then it can help you track down when it all went down.

The only thing is that you need time to narrow down all these points and if you have no physical attachment to where you are I would make escape plans and not tell her just in case. Some countries you can rot in a jail for this type of stuff but they can't do shit once your on the outside.

I am ruthless with this type of stuff. I would be planning my escape if I was in your shoes..

I won't let any reckless woman ruin my life. She can come find me if she wants but I won't sit around and take 'her word' for anything.

Good points. It seems like she was trying to get the fiancee to knock her up but she claimed it never happened.

I'm really considering jetting off for the time being. I don't really WANT to leave, but there's no reason I can't and I think it gives me extra leverage/protection.

[Glaucon]

[El Chinito loco]

I would bet all my net worth that this is filipina is 100% full of shit with 2:1 odds. The whole "I know you're a good man" and medical gap seals it.

[Duke Castile]

Let me tell you about Filipinas from the province.

I banged a girl out her yesterday who was telling me about her mother.

Her mother had 5 kids including her. She took off and left them until she was 9 and the father raised them (doing a reluctant and shitty job).

She shows back up and the kids all want to live with her. The dad seems to be off the map at this point.

She met some thirsty American Air Force Capt and she lied to him saying she only had one kid (the girl I banged) and LEFT the rest of her children to marry the American.

Little quotes about her mother she said so causally and as if it's perfectly understandable.

"She's really sick of my stepdad, the whole reason she married him was because he was in the military and she didn't want to work".

"My mom is gonna divorce him soon, he says he doesn't believe in it but she's already found another guy that wants to marry her"

Why is this girl in the Phils able to say this?

She was a stripper in Texas and was pulled over one night with drugs and subsequently deported.

These girls are liars to the core when it suits them.

[The Beast1]

(09-10-2014 09:16 AM)TheWastelander Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 08:52 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 08:49 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 05:42 AM)Enigma Wrote:  

(09-10-2014 05:13 AM)placer Wrote:  

Based on your description of the sex, it sounds like you are not the father.

If she does have the kid, and tries to make you responsible for it, make sure to have a genetic paternity test done before signing any "you are the father" paperwork the state may try and foist upon you.

Yeah, I would definitely get a DNA test done.

But what do I do in the meantime? Talk to her, ignore her? Stay here, leave the country?

I didn't even plan on being here that long, so I'm tempted to just disappear. That way she doesn't see me as a viable option to pin the pregnancy on -- if that's her intention -- and I have leverage.

Then I can always come back later and get a paternity test, if necessary.

Or I could stay in contact and try to convince her to have an abortion.

In the meantime, scare the shit out of her. Pay a $300, get a family lawyer to send her a letter saying that the paternity is suspect and you would require a DNA test to establish paternity.

Bad advice, there's a 50/50 chance it could be his.

How do you know this?

It's either his or it isn't (50/50).

I'm all for burning bridges and toasting sloots, but there is a time and place for that. Best to play it safe until he has confirmed it isn't his than being a dick first and then paying for the consequences after.