[SpiderKing]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/28...mg00000063

Hey LAAAAAdies!
Have I got the perfect financial instrument for you!

*****

How to set up your BetaBux Investment Account:

1.) Have an orbiter promise you the world while you are still young and tight, aka He Buys Your Call Option.

2.) Ride Carousel


3.) Before you hit the empowering age of 30, remind BetaBuddy that it's time for him to exercise his Call Option, even though your pussy has been devalued tenfold. He could bang sluts on the cheap, but, like gold, the Golden Poosy only goes up in price!

4.) PROFIT

*****

Quote:

2. "My wife and I met in high school at the age of 16. We told each other that if we weren't married by 30, then we'd get back together and tie the knot. I moved off to a different state for college and after graduation I moved to Chile for four years. I moved back to the states when I was 28, we started dating again and just got married this past May before my 30th birthday. But not because we said we would, but because it just happened that way."

Lazy sod, I bet this guy didn't bother learning the local language. If he did, he'd have wifed up a pretty young latina instead of an americana pushing 30.

[vinman]

You stay single in Latin America and marry an American woman? That's just stupid.

[Sourcecode]

I promised a hungarian girl that If i wasnt married in 5 years Id come back for her.
granted she stays fit..

is that beta?

If i ride the pussy coaster...while she is most likely to stay in her village and dream about me?

[Walderschmidt]

(08-29-2014 09:14 PM)Sourcecode Wrote:  

I promised a hungarian girl that If i wasnt married in 5 years Id come back for her.
granted she stays fit..

is that beta?

If i ride the pussy coaster...while she is most likely to stay in her village and dream about me?

It's always not what you do, but how you do it

Wald

P.S. Looks like this guy almost did alright, assuming first picture on the left is before and the second is after.

Quote:

6. "When we were 18 my best friend and I said that if neither of us were married by 30, we'd marry each other. We ended up dating at 26 and married at 28."

[Tuthmosis]

The only way to "seal" a pact like that would be to bang once at the time of the signing (18 years old, or whatever). If a bitch came to me with this, it'd go down like this:

Girl: Tuthmosis, you're such a good friend. I think we should get married if we haven't met that special someone by age 30.

Tuthmosis: You mean right as I'm entering my prime years and you're about to end--or, depending on your life choices, already ended--yours?

Girl: Are you serious? That's sexist! You think women become unattractive at age 30.

Tuthmosis: No, I think you're trying to have it both ways. I think you want to play the field during your prettiest years, and then lock down a quality guy like me when you've gotten it "out of your system."

Girl: That's disgusting. I can't believe you think like that.

Tuthmosis: Relax. You know I'm a flawed man with weird ideas. Come here [give her a lingering hug with semi-inappropriate lower-back rubbing]

Tuthmosis: Look, let's go get some drinks and forget about this whole stupid thing.

[Bang that night]

[Walderschmidt]

(08-30-2014 10:41 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

The only way to "seal" a pact like that would be to bang once at the time of the signing (18 years old, or whatever). If a bitch came to me with this, it'd go down like this:

Girl: Tuthmosis, you're such a good friend. I think we should get married if we haven't met that special someone by age 30.

Tuthmosis: You mean right as I'm entering my prime years and you're about to end--or, depending on your life choices, already ended--yours?

Girl: Are you serious? That's sexist! You think women become unattractive at age 30.

Tuthmosis: No, I think you're trying to have it both ways. I think you want to play the field during your prettiest years, and then lock down a quality guy like me when you've gotten it "out of your system."

Girls: That's disgusting. I can't believe you think like that.

Tuthmosis: Relax. You know I'm a flawed man with weird ideas. Come here [gives her a lingering hug with semi-inappropriate rubbing]

Tuthmosis: Look, let's go get some drinks and forget about this whole stupid thing.

[Bang that night]

Wake up the next morning with a desire to bang some more sloots.

"I want a divorce."

Exit stage left. Radio silence.

Wald

[Avon Barksdale]

(08-30-2014 10:41 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

The only way to "seal" a pact like that would be to bang once at the time of the signing (18 years old, or whatever). If a bitch came to me with this, it'd go down like this:

Girl: Tuthmosis, you're such a good friend. I think we should get married if we haven't met that special someone by age 30.

Tuthmosis: You mean right as I'm entering my prime years and you're about to end--or, depending on your life choices, already ended--yours?

Girl: Are you serious? That's sexist! You think women become unattractive at age 30.

Tuthmosis: No, I think you're trying to have it both ways. I think you want to play the field during your prettiest years, and then lock down a quality guy like me when you've gotten it "out of your system."

Girl: That's disgusting. I can't believe you think like that.

Tuthmosis: Relax. You know I'm a flawed man with weird ideas. Come here [give her a lingering hug with semi-inappropriate lower-back rubbing]

Tuthmosis: Look, let's go get some drinks and forget about this whole stupid thing.

[Bang that night]

[The Lizard of Oz]

(08-30-2014 10:41 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

Tuthmosis: Relax. You know I'm a flawed man with weird ideas.

This is the line that makes the post.

Good to see a clean and crisp Tuth post like this -- nothing quite like it.