First up, sorry if I missed another similar thread, but this is also personal and wanted others' thoughts on my own experiences.
Went on two first dates today. One was a lunch date and the other drinks at 8pm.
Lunch went well, attractive 18 yo (7f/8b) from halfway between the big city and nowhere. I liked her vibe, and she liked mine. Played some age game with her and she was receptive. At lunch she offered to pay cash so we could go, but I didn't allow... said I wanted the points on my Visa (which is partially true). She bought a small treat at a nearby Italian bakery for dessert. And volunteered to pay for parking too. Played some frisbee and walked around one of the nicer parks in the city. It's nice hanging out with her, everything in the region is new to her, so I'm always on point. Got a make out and a genuine "I'm glad we met" when the date ended. Going to call soon to hang out at my place to watch Game of Thrones (she hasn't seen season 4), and make her dinner.
For the drinks date, girl was running late. Fine, I stuck around the pad and cleaned up the kitchen and had another beer. Get there, waiting in the parking lot and find out she's at the wrong location (contrary to my clearly worded message). Fine, waiting 10-15m is no biggie... I'll go grab a parcel at the nearby post office. She gets lost on the way, of course it's the GPS' fault! Wait another 10 minutes.
She starts the date by bitching about the photographer at her friend's wedding, like 15min of this; instead of what was awesome about her trip back home. Holy taboo subject (weddings). The rest of the date she would answer my questions then quickly default to bitching about her work. I got tired of the pervasive negativity and cynicism. Never any enthusiasm or optimism. God forbid mention of some hobbies or aspirations. Beer was drank, water done... time to bounce. She doesn't even bat an eyelash when it comes to the bill. Whatever. I need to get out of here. Pay. I could tell she wanted a kiss at the end, I gave a hug and bailed with a simple "take care." No mention of maybe I'll call you sometime or anything on my end. She texts me as soon as she gets home, saying she likes how I can keep up with her in a conversation.
Obviously I'd like to add in the 18yo to the rotation. Not so much so for the drinks girl. She has a nice face but the body of someone who sits in a desk chair for 36hrs a day. Unbelievable how much there is below the hips. I had to double take. Twice.
TL;DR/Problem is as follows:
-- With the 18yo, I want to hang out again soon. I start a job on nights in two weeks and she'll be getting work right away so who knows when our schedules will jive. There's a big rave in a Waterpark this weekend (which she expressed interest in) but we ought to hang out a bit first before that. How best to proceed?
-- I don't want to let drinks girl off easily for treating me like a wallet and the shoulder to cry on after a bad day at work. We just met. That kind of behaviour is both inappropriate and reserved for beta orbiters or girlfriends. Not a first date. I don't, however, want to be a dick about it; just clear and firm. Thoughts?
-- What's the best way to cover the payment issue early on before things get awkward? I mean, bitch ordered cheese cake and nachos and a drink on my dime. Didn't even offer to pay. But like a sucker I fell for it because I didn't clearly mark out my boundaries initially. Probably should have had CASH (just realized right now); cover my portion and tip, and leave her to pay hers.
-- Finally, how to steer the conversation clear of the whining/poor-me topics, or bail gracefully if they persist? I felt beta as fuck siting there just listening and trying to put a positive/funny spin on her bullshit.
Went on two first dates today. One was a lunch date and the other drinks at 8pm.
Lunch went well, attractive 18 yo (7f/8b) from halfway between the big city and nowhere. I liked her vibe, and she liked mine. Played some age game with her and she was receptive. At lunch she offered to pay cash so we could go, but I didn't allow... said I wanted the points on my Visa (which is partially true). She bought a small treat at a nearby Italian bakery for dessert. And volunteered to pay for parking too. Played some frisbee and walked around one of the nicer parks in the city. It's nice hanging out with her, everything in the region is new to her, so I'm always on point. Got a make out and a genuine "I'm glad we met" when the date ended. Going to call soon to hang out at my place to watch Game of Thrones (she hasn't seen season 4), and make her dinner.
For the drinks date, girl was running late. Fine, I stuck around the pad and cleaned up the kitchen and had another beer. Get there, waiting in the parking lot and find out she's at the wrong location (contrary to my clearly worded message). Fine, waiting 10-15m is no biggie... I'll go grab a parcel at the nearby post office. She gets lost on the way, of course it's the GPS' fault! Wait another 10 minutes.
She starts the date by bitching about the photographer at her friend's wedding, like 15min of this; instead of what was awesome about her trip back home. Holy taboo subject (weddings). The rest of the date she would answer my questions then quickly default to bitching about her work. I got tired of the pervasive negativity and cynicism. Never any enthusiasm or optimism. God forbid mention of some hobbies or aspirations. Beer was drank, water done... time to bounce. She doesn't even bat an eyelash when it comes to the bill. Whatever. I need to get out of here. Pay. I could tell she wanted a kiss at the end, I gave a hug and bailed with a simple "take care." No mention of maybe I'll call you sometime or anything on my end. She texts me as soon as she gets home, saying she likes how I can keep up with her in a conversation.
Obviously I'd like to add in the 18yo to the rotation. Not so much so for the drinks girl. She has a nice face but the body of someone who sits in a desk chair for 36hrs a day. Unbelievable how much there is below the hips. I had to double take. Twice.
TL;DR/Problem is as follows:
-- With the 18yo, I want to hang out again soon. I start a job on nights in two weeks and she'll be getting work right away so who knows when our schedules will jive. There's a big rave in a Waterpark this weekend (which she expressed interest in) but we ought to hang out a bit first before that. How best to proceed?
-- I don't want to let drinks girl off easily for treating me like a wallet and the shoulder to cry on after a bad day at work. We just met. That kind of behaviour is both inappropriate and reserved for beta orbiters or girlfriends. Not a first date. I don't, however, want to be a dick about it; just clear and firm. Thoughts?
-- What's the best way to cover the payment issue early on before things get awkward? I mean, bitch ordered cheese cake and nachos and a drink on my dime. Didn't even offer to pay. But like a sucker I fell for it because I didn't clearly mark out my boundaries initially. Probably should have had CASH (just realized right now); cover my portion and tip, and leave her to pay hers.
-- Finally, how to steer the conversation clear of the whining/poor-me topics, or bail gracefully if they persist? I felt beta as fuck siting there just listening and trying to put a positive/funny spin on her bullshit.
![[Image: tongue.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/tongue.gif)
Today was going to set up dinner at her place, on her suggestion, for Sunday, and she pulls out last minute saying that now her best friend wants to hang out that day. 'Have fun' is all I said a half hour later.