[nek]

In the increasingly difficult pursuit of finding driven, positive people to surround myself with, I'm starting to notice certain things that people say that immediately indicate to me that they are not a person to be around for any extent of time. Two examples

1) " I'm a multi-tasker". No, you do a bunch of things in a shitty fashion, can't focus, and change tasks when one of them gets tough

2) "I can't do the 9-to-5 gig". At first this seems harmless, and on the surface most of us here would agree, as the life of an office drone isn't the life for a man (I need to fix this myself) and self-employment is the way to go. That being said, most people who say this, are implying they don't like routine. Newsflash: Routine and habits are the key to getting anything productive in your life done, be it your business or your fitness. Victor Pride at Bold and Determined is self-sufficient and answers to no man, but he has routine in his life. He even wrote a good article about routine:

http://boldanddetermined.com/2014/06/24/...d-killing/

So what are some of the things you here people say that signal LOSER to you? I figure this would be a good information sharing exercise to help all of us navigate a modern world hell bent on mediocrity.

[TheFinalEpic]

I heavily disagree with your second point.

By saying you can't work a traditional job, that makes you a winner. This does not mean that you cannot follow routine, and in fact, the most successful CEOs in the world have routines of getting up at 5am every single day, even though they don't have a traditional "job". Routines are staples to success I do not deny this. But getting out of the rat race is what winners do my man. It also takes immense discipline and risk to get out of the corporate world and make something of yourself, both are amiable traits in any man.

Personally, if a person says "I can't" I know they are a loser.

If you make excuses, you are a loser.

If you complain, you are a loser.

If you take the easy path, the road most travelled by, you are a loser.

[nek]

(08-19-2014 10:53 PM)TheFinalEpic Wrote:  

I heavily disagree with your second point.

By saying you can't work a traditional job, that makes you a winner. This does not mean that you cannot follow routine, and in fact, the most successful CEOs in the world have routines of getting up at 5am every single day, even though they don't have a traditional "job". Routines are staples to success I do not deny this. But getting out of the rat race is what winners do my man. It also takes immense discipline and risk to get out of the corporate world and make something of yourself, both are amiable traits in any man.

Personally, if a person says "I can't" I know they are a loser.

If you make excuses, you are a loser.

If you complain, you are a loser.

If you take the easy path, the road most travelled by, you are a loser.

I think we're agreeing on the second point actually. In my experience, MOST of the people who say that are guys I know that end up fumbling around, and ironically, end up as part of the rat race as well, or working a succession of dead end jobs. That's why i said on the surface it seems harmless, but in reality, alot of the people who say it (keep in mind, people on this forum are vastly different than most people I'll meet in day-to-day life) are really just lacking focus and discipline. You need structure in life, self-imposed structure. These people don't want any structure, and hinder their own progress in the world

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Insult.

Insult.

Insult.

You say something in response. And they say:

"Don't get defensive."

This is major psychological manipulation and controlling behavior. Several people I know did this to me and when I realized how regularly it happened I ended the friendships.

[redbeard]

"I'm just unlucky"

that is the biggest load of shit. especially with game. "oh we just didn't get lucky." I call bull

losers also say "just," "only," and "well" often. don't beat around the bush. say what you fucking think.

[ddjembe mutombo]

"I'm tired."

/thread

[kinjutsu]

Passive aggressive people.
They can dish it out but can't take it.

They can't see someone do well and be happy for them, there's always something negative to say about someone that is successful.

They only call/text you when they need something but are never around or are broke and can;t help you when you need a favor.

Blame everyone for the problems in their life.
Persistent victim mentality.

[Felix88]

I think the term toxic people is more appropriate, is it just me or the term loser is strictly american thing?

[CRR]

(08-19-2014 11:31 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Insult.

Insult.

Insult.

You say something in response. And they say:

"Don't get defensive."

This is major psychological manipulation and controlling behavior. Several people I know did this to me and when I realized how regularly it happened I ended the friendships.

Story of my life.

I always calming respond "Don't be a dick/douche/cunt then I won't be defensive". If they persist, I then personally insult them, and see if they see the irony.

(08-19-2014 11:42 PM)kinjutsu Wrote:  

Passive aggressive people.
They can dish it out but can't take it.

They can't see someone do well and be happy for them, there's always something negative to say about someone that is successful.

They only call/text you when they need something but are never around or are broke and can;t help you when you need a favor.

Blame everyone for the problems in their life.
Persistent victim mentality.

Very true.

I hate to say it, but it took me way too long in life to not take people too literally. In other words, I let people's passive-aggressive behavior get to me because I couldn't figure out why they'd insult me. Now I know it's about them, so I just roll my eyes.

Regarding things losers say, I can't think of anything in particular, but I despise the humble brag, which is so much of what social media seems to be. I've always said humility is a good quality, and if someone feels the need to brag, then just brag. No need to couch it in some sort fake self deprecating 'humor'.

[El Chinito loco]

"I'm not ___ but, blah blah blah. For example: I'm not a feminist, but I believe women should get more in a divorce settlement."

When someone makes a statement in that fashion I automatically know they have a propensity to use weasel words to try and absolve personal responsibility. It's a red flag that shows lack of integrity.

[la_mode]

(08-19-2014 11:31 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Insult.

Insult.

Insult.

You say something in response. And they say:

"Don't get defensive."

This is major psychological manipulation and controlling behavior. Several people I know did this to me and when I realized how regularly it happened I ended the friendships.

That's a very good point. Another one, you have a person who you don't affiliate with currently for whatever reason, they text you one day asking how you are. You tell them you've moved on. They'll say you're "living in the past".

Or people who annoy you to better yourself (finish 4 year degree, goto grad school, get some mundane certification) to compare themselves to you, doing it under the guise of trying to help you out, when all they do is annoy you.

[nek]

(08-19-2014 11:31 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Insult.

Insult.

Insult.

You say something in response. And they say:

"Don't get defensive."

This is major psychological manipulation and controlling behavior. Several people I know did this to me and when I realized how regularly it happened I ended the friendships.

Is there a term for this? I know a girl just like this. She's sensitive to criticism (even jokes). If you say she's over reacting she'll say "who are you to tell someone how to feel about something". However, if something bothers you, she trivializes it by calling you emotional or sensitive. If you criticize her or comment on her reaction, your at fault. If you express displeasure with something she says or how she behaves, it's also your fault. As if in her mind she couldn't possibly be in the wrong when saying something to you. Sorry to ramble but i've been trying to figure this girl out for a while (she's cute too, otherwise I wouldn't give a shit).

[El Chinito loco]

^^^
Garden variety narcissists do this a lot. They can't take any form of criticism and will always redirect it or whatever.

[la_mode]

There is a term for it. Look up the word insufferable.

[Barron]

Tom Leykis gave me a ton of motivation as a younger man to push through the grind. His segments on losers are absolutely priceless and forever relevant (start at 1:15):

[Don]

I have a long-time "friend". His dad is a business man and does pretty good for himself(considering the Romanian economy). While I always had to work hard for everything, he doesn't have to do anything other than suck on his dad's tit. Not so long ago I was at his house, he was smoking a joint. I tell him how i'm pretty upset on myself, that i've been slacking off, that i need to work harder:
Him(while smoking): Listen dude...i think...you should just like stagnate for a bit man...like you're always running, what's the point. These things get fixed by themselves, so like..just enjoy life dude.

The interesting thing is that even tho all of his needs are met, this guy's miserable. He recently told me that it got as bad as suicide thoughts for him. He's stuck in this rut for years and he just doesn't know how to get out of it. I think there are a lot of parallels between this guy and most other losers. The worst thing i see when i think back on it is that i can't help but interpret his "advice" other than: i'm a fucking loser, i hate my life, i hate that you're driven and working all the time, be like me. I think that most losers can't help but want everyone to be like them.

I think what's important is not what losers say, but what they do. I think there's one thing they all have in common: Unproductive, self-destructive habits. Waking up late, not working, getting high all the time, spending cash on stupid shit, not reading..etc.

[StrikeBack]

In my experience, the biggest tell that someone has a loser's mentality and it's a waste of time talking to them is that, upon hearing a success or self improvement story, the first sentence out of their mouth is a variant of "that's impossible". They have already shut their brains off due to laziness.

In contrast, the biggest tell of a winner's mentality is someone asking "how can I learn to do that?" in the same scenario.

[Roosh]

"Everything happens for a reason."

[The Beast1]

"I don't need to go to the gym."

[El Chinito loco]

How about these gems:

"going abroad is for losers"

or

"game is for losers"


Then the actual loser who makes these bold statements proceeds to get fat on their cumstained couch watching mindnumbing blue pill tv with the ugly 2 they married.

[soup]

(08-19-2014 10:46 PM)nek Wrote:  

In the increasingly difficult pursuit of finding driven, positive people to surround myself with, I'm starting to notice certain things that people say that immediately indicate to me that they are not a person to be around for any extent of time. Two examples

1) " I'm a multi-tasker". No, you do a bunch of things in a shitty fashion, can't focus, and change tasks when one of them gets tough

2) "I can't do the 9-to-5 gig". At first this seems harmless, and on the surface most of us here would agree, as the life of an office drone isn't the life for a man (I need to fix this myself) and self-employment is the way to go. That being said, most people who say this, are implying they don't like routine. Newsflash: Routine and habits are the key to getting anything productive in your life done, be it your business or your fitness. Victor Pride at Bold and Determined is self-sufficient and answers to no man, but he has routine in his life. He even wrote a good article about routine:

http://boldanddetermined.com/2014/06/24/...d-killing/

So what are some of the things you here people say that signal LOSER to you? I figure this would be a good information sharing exercise to help all of us navigate a modern world hell bent on mediocrity.

You are jumping to conclusions with the 9-5 thing.

It could mean a lot of things:

- Maybe 9-5 is not enough time in the day to get things done
- Some people work for a few hours, do something else, and then work, etc. doesn't always fit in to 9-5
- "9-5" often implies a workerbee lifestyle, in which you are following orders from a boss who is usually working many more hours than you. That's not a particularly alpha position to be in.

Your list is bold, which can be good, but be careful not to succumb to the very thing you are trying to fight against.

[soup]

(08-20-2014 04:46 AM)Roosh Wrote:  

"Everything happens for a reason."

I think a nice re-rephrase would be "some things seem to happen for a reason, and while others appear to happen for no reason at all"

To me, the winning idea looks like everything does happen for a reason, but we just don't know what the reason is yet.

If something doesn't look like it had a reason, does that mean it didn't happen?

[Glaucon]

"You obsess about the details!"

[joseph80]

I love Justin beiber lol

[NovaVirtu]

"She's out of my/your league."

"Some guys can pull that off" -in reference to approaching women, spitting game, or anything resembling confidence.