[thegameoflife]

Hey guys,

Recently I met an attractive (8.5) young women in a furniture retail store. I chatted her up and things looked very optimistic but I decided against asking for her number. I returned about a week later. She was very friendly, asking personal questions etc. so I asked straight up if she would meet me for coffee when her shift ended. She said she couldn't today but she gave me a business card with her number and said we could get together at a later date.

I do a little due diligence and search her name on facebook and find her profile along with some information....including that she is in a relationship. I phone her five days later and get a date lined up while engaging in a little small talk (phone call lasted about five minutes). As when I met her, there is no mention of a boyfriend or anything. We agree to meet up in another five days.

Then things start to break down. Three hours later I get a text that says she is embarrassed to contact me over the phone and that she feels bad and should have told me right away that she is seeing someone already. she acknowledges that coffee is harmless but thought she would tell me. her text also includes 'you seem like an amazing guy so, i'd love to get to know you but i don't want to lead you on. so i'm really sorry.'

I could obviously feel things slipping away so I countered with 'I'm very sorry to hear that....but I think coffee is harmless so let's plan to meet up this Monday' (as we originally planned). I took a gamble here because I made my intention totally known by putting 'I'm very sorry to hear that' but I thought at the time there was enough interest and that it was the alpha male way to respond so I went for it. Looking back I am actually very happy with the response.

Anyways she responds with 'okay sounds good to me.' that night but two days later sends me a text that she has decided it is better if we don't meet up because she doesn't want to waste my time and that she feels really bad. Basically....GAME OVER.

I would be very interested to hear what the experts around here think about my approach. I was disappointed that this got away but would really like to learn something from the whole experience so please feel free to comment.

[Lumiere]

Wrong frame.

You went along with the 'íts wrong for a chick with a bf to see somebody else' frame.

[Miley Cyrax]

(03-06-2011 10:10 PM)thegameoflife Wrote:  

Then things start to break down. Three hours later I get a text that says she is embarrassed to contact me over the phone and that she feels bad and should have told me right away that she is seeing someone already. she acknowledges that coffee is harmless but thought she would tell me. her text also includes 'you seem like an amazing guy so, i'd love to get to know you but i don't want to lead you on. so i'm really sorry.'

I could obviously feel things slipping away so I countered with 'I'm very sorry to hear that....but I think coffee is harmless so let's plan to meet up this Monday' (as we originally planned). I took a gamble here because I made my intention totally known by putting 'I'm very sorry to hear that' but I thought at the time there was enough interest and that it was the alpha male way to respond so I went for it. Looking back I am actually very happy with the response.

Anyways she responds with 'okay sounds good to me.' that night but two days later sends me a text that she has decided it is better if we don't meet up because she doesn't want to waste my time and that she feels really bad. Basically....GAME OVER.

Not a good response. I don't think "I'm sorry" or its derivatives is appropriate in most contexts when dealing with a girl other than a real tragedy, e.g. a death, or obvious sarcasm. I would had personally went cocky funny with something like "i agree. i am an amazing guy. but lets not get ahead of ourselves here." I doubt that would had 'saved' the interaction though, merely increased the chances. Whatever. I would keep plowing and try and get her on the phone again to get her emotions flowing. You have nothing to lose.

[docsedated]

@ thegameoflife: You were able to attract the girl and I think you deserve a little credit here, from here on try to Isolate the girl as quickly as you can otherwise her rational brain starts telling her she is doing some thing wrong and she will back out just like she did.

When she mentions BF, act as if it doesn't matter to you and plow through with " I bet you BF is the Jelous, Possessive kind etc, or I just met u and ur telling me ur problems " there are many more posted some where on the forum, Keep the frame sexual , Kino from the beginning, you do not want to land in the Lets just be friends zone.

The fact that she agreed to see u means that she was attracted to you and will fuck you under the right circumstances, now the burden is on you to convince her that it's not wrong to give in to her desires....., Ideal thing would be to meet right after her shift as you are not avialable for the next 3-4 weeks and have GF's waiting for you, Isolate, Kino and convince her to get in touch with her bad side which is ok and don't listen to what society tells her to do, just like my mentor Mixx says

" Be the snake that gave eve the apple "

be a charmer, sell your sexual self to her and tell her you are forbidden and she can't have u because you are in high demand by other females etc, Be the Snake man......

Another Important concept to understand here is " Do not make her feel like a Slut "

Do not do anything sexual at her workplace, she doesn't want to look like a slut at her workplace, also listen to what Lumiere is saying , he is dead on the money here , you need to balance your approaches and you know the rest .........

[thegameoflife]

Thanks for the suggestions. I just rolled over on this one and texted back 'ok np.' Hopefully I will see her around and can attempt to escalate again. Reading through the responses I thought of a good line for a response to 'I have a boyfriend'. Look at her in the eyes and say 'well I have a boyfriend too but I asked about coffee, not significant others.' Going to try it next time I get hit with the bf line. I will let everyone know how it goes.

[thegameoflife]

Update,

Out of the blue last Tuesday (and it was truly out of the blue, i never entered her name in my cell and had no idea who she was) she texts me that there is a table that is identical to the one I was interested in when I was in before but it is selling for one third the cost. I tell her to put it aside and agree to come by and pick it up. My roommate is suspicious that there is something going on but I just chalk it up to her wanting to help me out.

When I arrive, she is very friendly and chatty like before when I go to the store to pick it up with a friend. I was friendly but didn't attempt to game her. In fact I showed disinterest toward her and focused on the table.

I get home and happily set up my new table and get another interesting (and more direct message) 'Why do you have to be so good looking?' At this point I know this girl is DTF and I NEED to make a move. I tease her that she is trying to just get on my good side for her next sale. She responds by saying she remembers why she wanted to do coffee earlier to which I respond that the coffee idea is off the table but if she wants to take ME out with her commission money I would be interested. The table is set for tonight (Sunday). I tell her to phone me on her break and we will work out the details.

She phones earlier today and we make a concrete plan to meet at a coffee place close to my apartment. I plan to venue change back to my place to show her the table. Things look very good. This can't fail right?......but it does. She texts later saying that she has to stay late at work and asks about tomorrow (Monday). I tell her I might be able to fit it into my schedule right before she sends 'omg i can't go tomorrow. lol. i'm really bad at planning these things.' FUCK

Again, I would appreciate your advice and insight. I honesty felt my text responses were witty and alpha and I got her to agree to a date BUT I am missing something very critical here. Is this just a flakey bitch that I need to forget about? Any other theories, explanations, observations etc?

[CJ]

Ok, I've dealt with this sort before. First off, I think it was a mistake looking her up on facebook after meeting her; I used to do this when myspace was popular. Guess how many of those girls I slept with? Hint: none. Seems like a smart move so you can cater your game to her, but IMO I was giving those girls too much value. Let them cater themselves to me if they're so inclined. Plus, finding out she was in a relationship changed how you gamed her. Ignorance is bliss in this case. Almost every girl I've banged that had a boyfriend, told me after I banged them.

Moving along... yes you still could bang her. The thing is you'd have to catch her at just the right moment when she wants to cheat on her boyfriend. In other words, your "witty and alpha" texts really don't mean shit, because if she's not horny enough or pissed enough at her boyfriend to cheat on him, it's not going to happen. Even if you are a text messaging Casanova, this one is all about timing. Although, had it been me, I'd have responded to the 'Why do you have to be so good looking?' text with 'I dunno, why do you have to be such a cock tease?' as that would've drawn the line in the sand, and at least I'd have gotten a good laugh out of it. Hindsight is 20/20 though.

My advice would be to put this one on the back burner, devote minimal time to her, and no thought or effort. She's doing this because she just likes the attention, and is in a bad relationship.

I wouldn't call or text, see if she has anything else to say to you in the next couple days. You could try a random "what's up" text later in the week (AT NIGHT) and see if/how she responds. Your goal is to catch lightning pussy in a bottle here, but since the timing is random, you're basically playing the lottery. As I said, don't put the effort into this.

Oh a final note, if she does text/call you again, keep everything very short and to the point, if she wants to get chatty with you, make her do it in person.

[FretDancer]

Like you said, she's probably a flakey bitch who loves teasing for attention. Even when you play the witty/alpha/non-interested/[insert a cool game-winning move here] these things just happen. You should forget about her, but you still have room for one more move:

When you see her again in person, don't set up a formal date. Make her get into your frame, which is going to be this: Seek for the isolation in a casual way, maybe a walk around the mall where the store is, I don't know, use your imagination here. When you have achieved this, kino escalate and go for the kiss close. If she complies then you might still be in game, if not then walk away.

[MiXX]

All women love attention from attractive, alpha guys they wish they would have instead of their beta boyfriend. She was looking at you to be that dominant alpha-male to make her clitoris tingle, and you failed to do so, which is why she retracted.

Word of advice. NEVER, EVER, EVER, invite (or accept an invitation) a girl to a coffee shop for comfort building. Coffee shops do not instigate a sexual vibe. Coffee shops do the very opposite of sexual vibes. It makes you look like this very nice guy, who would be a great friend, and gives her the attention she so much wanted.

Even If you meet a girl at a coffee shop initially, your goal should be to get her the fuck outta there - pronto!

When you venue change with a girl, you should always be thinking of a SNL, or 2ndNL at most. Your logistics should always be in place for this.

Women are not looking for sex like we men are as hunters. They are looking for approval of themselves in someone else through attention - which leads to sex by the right alpha male.

I'll say it again. Women are satisfied with attention as much as men are satisfied with sex. They don't have to have the latter to be happy, juts like we do not need the former to be happy.

Oh yeah, yet another reason why I don't "Facebook" waste of fucking time, and energy. Nobody really has anything interesting to say on Facebook. I could give a shit who a girls best friend/husband/lover is, or what she wore for Halloween in 2010 (unless she is wearing it to my bedroom).

I would be direct next time, and ask her to shit or get off the pot. Do not become like many men who fear "LOSING" a woman, so they play by her rules and start pleasing her. Alphas never fear "losing" anything they never had to begin with, so they go for theirs at fist opportunity.

Mixx

[CJ]

(03-28-2011 12:58 AM)FretDancer Wrote:  

Seek for the isolation in a casual way, maybe a walk around the mall where the store is, I don't know, use your imagination here. When you have achieved this, kino escalate and go for the kiss close.

Eek! Kiss close is a potential disaster here, as that'll get the guilt wheels in her head turning even more. Your only close is the bang close here. You and her should go wherever, I don't care, quickly transition to a dive bar, get a couple drinks to slut-en (is this a word?) her up and then get her to your place ASAP. Do NOT go back to her place, because there's too much shit there that will remind her of her boyfriend. Do NOT go get anything to eat to prolong the encounter, cuz that'll work against the alcohol. All or nothing next time you see her, and make that the last time you see her.

[FretDancer]

Good call CJ, I had forgotten about the boyfriend situation.

Waiting on the update gameoflife!

[thegameoflife]

"Word of advice. NEVER, EVER, EVER, invite (or accept an invitation) a girl to a coffee shop for comfort building. Coffee shops do not instigate a sexual vibe. Coffee shops do the very opposite of sexual vibes. It makes you look like this very nice guy, who would be a great friend, and gives her the attention she so much wanted."

I am a huge fan Mixx but I disagree here. Going to a dark coffee shop at night with the plan to venue change has always been one of the most effective 1st dates I have done. I find it easy to kino and look into a girls eyes when I am the whole point of the date (coffee).

'I'll say it again. Women are satisfied with attention as much as men are satisfied with sex. They don't have to have the latter to be happy, juts like we do not need the former to be happy.'

Totally agree on this one

'Good call CJ, I had forgotten about the boyfriend situation. Waiting on the update gameoflife!'

I am planning on sitting on this one for a couple days before making a move. I have decided there will be no more communication through text. I am thinking of calling on Friday or Saturday night late to chat for a couple minutes. I am hoping she will be out partying with friends and I will playfully invite her to join me. A total hail mary at this point but I think it is all I have.

Thanks for all the suggestions, insight etc. guys. I am always amazed by the brotherhood on this board. Update coming soon!

[Roosh]

A young girl at a furniture store had a business card?
When you went the second week, you just went direct on her and she was down?

This story seems very trollish.

[metalhaze]

(03-28-2011 09:09 AM)MiXX Wrote:  

All women love attention from attractive, alpha guys they wish they would have instead of their beta boyfriend. She was looking at you to be that dominant alpha-male to make her clitoris tingle, and you failed to do so, which is why she retracted.

Word of advice. NEVER, EVER, EVER, invite (or accept an invitation) a girl to a coffee shop for comfort building. Coffee shops do not instigate a sexual vibe. Coffee shops do the very opposite of sexual vibes. It makes you look like this very nice guy, who would be a great friend, and gives her the attention she so much wanted.

Even If you meet a girl at a coffee shop initially, your goal should be to get her the fuck outta there - pronto!

When you venue change with a girl, you should always be thinking of a SNL, or 2ndNL at most. Your logistics should always be in place for this.

Women are not looking for sex like we men are as hunters. They are looking for approval of themselves in someone else through attention - which leads to sex by the right alpha male.

I'll say it again. Women are satisfied with attention as much as men are satisfied with sex. They don't have to have the latter to be happy, juts like we do not need the former to be happy.

Oh yeah, yet another reason why I don't "Facebook" waste of fucking time, and energy. Nobody really has anything interesting to say on Facebook. I could give a shit who a girls best friend/husband/lover is, or what she wore for Halloween in 2010 (unless she is wearing it to my bedroom).

I would be direct next time, and ask her to shit or get off the pot. Do not become like many men who fear "LOSING" a woman, so they play by her rules and start pleasing her. Alphas never fear "losing" anything they never had to begin with, so they go for theirs at fist opportunity.

Mixx

What Mixx wrote up there is the shit and is pure wisdom! every man should read it!

I came to this realisation when I was 25 and read mode one by Alan Currie. make her shit or get off the pot! Women are as satisfied by approval and attention than men are satisfied by sex so coffee shops and lunch dates (even dinner dates, who wants to have sex on a full stomach) are out the window. take her to your local dive bar next to your place or hers or better yet, try to get her to grab a glass of wine at yours or hers.

treat attention like currency and make your presence rare, there was one famous pimp (from the book Black Players) that even made women PAY HIM in order to have a small chat.

My current strategy is to never give women a physical compliment in vain (that does not mean that I "Neg" them either, I just leave them wondering if I find them hot or not) unless we are in an intimate context ("you know, you're so hot you make my dick hard")!

Another important thing I found is to keep the small talk and the fluff to a minimum to keep an air of mystery because making a women feel comfortable is overrated and you want to say something provocative to challenge and frustrate her ego instead of just stroking it to death. last but not least, never ever apologize for what you say or blurt out anything remotely insecure that makes you appear hesitant or in doubt.

[thegameoflife]

(04-03-2011 09:13 AM)Roosh Wrote:  

A young girl at a furniture store had a business card?
When you went the second week, you just went direct on her and she was down?

This story seems very trollish.

Yes. She had a business card. Roosh, I think it is pretty standard that people have business cards. Hell, my hairdresser (who works at a pretty average salon) has cards and this girl is a full time sales associate.

I chatted the girl up both times I was there. The first time I was actually looking at some couches pretty seriously so I was with her for about half an hour. As I mentioned the second time she showed interest by asking questions and just had that look of interest in her eyes. I didn't approach her 'direct' by complimenting her or asking her out as I was legitimately interested in furniture. I did directly ask her for coffee after she was done her shift which, as I mentioned earlier, went well.

I basically acted in every way that your book inspired me Roosh and I am pretty happy that I got a reply from you but am a little disappointed that you think I am trolling your forum. Was my 'direct' approach a little too alpha to be believable ?


UPDATE: I sent her a 'mistake' text message saying 'ya im off at 4. see you then' on Thursday. She texted back confused and I said it was an accident and that I was texting another girl with the same name on my phone. We had a funny conversation back and forth for a bit but I didn't ask her out again as I don't want to appear too interested. I may call her at some point this week. To be continued...

[Roosh]

This forum gets a lot of trolls, so my antennae is very sensitive. Carry on...

[Selva]

Is this girl the only girl in town? Why is she such a big deal? Next...

I used to be the example they used in books for one-itis and I still slip up now and then. But I always have something else working and if one girl doesn't pan out there is always Plan B, or C, or D.

For example, last Monday morning I had to wrap up a promising new relationship with a really sweet girl for various reasons. On the way home I stopped by the hair salon where I noticed one of the girls there had checked me out the last time I got a haircut. Chatted her up for a while and we made plans for the weekend.

No need to worry about wasting time on a girl with a boyfriend. Dangle your worm in front of her once or twice and if she doesn't bite move on to the next fishing hole.