[Flyjin]

Had an interesting experience and resulting insight today.

At a meetup there were two British girls who came together. They were ostensibly “friends” but moreso out of circumstance than anything else (hardly any white, English-speaking girls in Japan).

One girl was decent-looking. Nothing special, but she had a nice demeanor and we vibed for a few minutes about our experiences, interests and whatnot.

The other girl was fat, negative and abrasive. She actually could have had an attractive face, but of course it was ruined with dyed hair and a nose piercing, not to mention her ill temperament. The Modern Western Fatty.

The decent girl had only recently arrived in Japan, while the fatty has been here for awhile. Right away, it was clear that their relationship was the the classic “frenemy” type, where the fatty assumed the bully role. I mentioned something about them reminding me of sisters with a love-hate relationship, and this comment definitely struck a nerve. I could tell that the decent girl hung out with the fatty strictly from a lack of social options. Better than being alone, I suppose.

At the venue we were all kinda boxed into a small corner area. There was a table and a few chairs, not much free space. And not once, but two times did the fatty make remarks about where the decent girl was sitting, as she had positioned herself closer to me while we chatted. Of course, both times this rattled the decent girl, and she changed seats. I guess it was a subtle cockblocking attempt, though I didn’t have any intentions of pursuing the decent girl. Either way, I took note of the dynamics at play.

I had a realization about Modern Western Fatties afterwards. Fortunately, I rarely deal with them in Japan, and this experience clarified why I have such disdain for them.

It’s not because they are fat.

Sure, aesthetically they are eyesores, but at some level, no one is perfect. I have pale skin, I’m not at 5% body fat, my teeth could be whiter. The point is, at an atomic level, we are all just clumps of flesh, bones and blood.

The real reason I was so repulsed by this girl was her attitude. Her unmistakable self-hatred manifested itself in a surrounding cloud of toxic energy. Basically, her life consists of bringing down everyone around her on an everyday, continual basis. It was no surprise that she turned especially foul when complaining that she had eaten too much and her stomach hurt.

I think attitude-shaming is a much more effective technique that fat-shaming. In my imaginary conversation with the fatty, I would have told her something like this:

“I wish you weren’t so rude and combative. I can tell that you aren’t happy with your life, and that’s unfortunate. But you make everyone around you feel uncomfortable. Hopefully someday you can adopt a positive attitude, and realize that you can improve yourself if you really want to. It’s possible for you to be happy.”

I don't know if this would have succeeded or not. But I know that the fatty’s outlook on life would be immeasurably better if she cleaned up her diet and started going to the gym. Even just losing 5 or 10 pounds might be the momentum necessary to change her life for the better. Unfortunately, the fatty mindset is that they can only lose weight by eating celery and running on a treadmill for 3 hours a day.

I read much more than I post on the Forum, but what I appreciate most is the supportive environment and focus on self-development. Because shaming someone about their insecurities/weaknesses isn’t productive.

Guys who are struggling with women don’t get shamed on the Forum. They get advice on how to improve their game.

Guys who are struggling with finances don’t get shamed on the Forum. They get advice on how to cultivate a mindset of profit.

Guys who are struggling with physique don’t get shamed on the Forum. They get advice on how to lift, diet, etc.

It’s easy pickings to rail on the plight of our culture and the emergence of the Modern Western Fatty. But I don’t think fat-shaming is the way to solve the problem, in fact it only emboldens them.

Just my two cents.

[Lucario]

If a woman were to see another women doing well, whether is be diet, guy she is dating, she will feel jealous and try to cut that girl down to her level or engage in passive-aggressive type interactions .

If a man was to see another man doing better than him, whether is be health, money, women, he will work harder to improve like the better man because he is now inspired.

And this is because women, generally speaking, crave external validation more than doing things to build their personal character or life...women do not have individuality, they are slaves to external judgment.

Giving constructive improvement advise to women is a waste of time, that is why the guys on here shame women for their bad lifestyle/attitudes, because that is what works.

It is an emotional burst of judgment that forces her to make a change because an outside force of man provided a strong enough stimulus, like fat shaming week.

the women that take advise are the rare ones who want to improve or because they get vagina tingles for the guy giving them advise( validation from guys they value ).

[bacon]

Rare instance of Hollywood attitude shaming fat women

go to 52 second mark

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(07-20-2014 06:32 AM)Flyjin Wrote:  

...

It’s easy pickings to rail on the plight of our culture and the emergence of the Modern Western Fatty. But I don’t think fat-shaming is the way to solve the problem, in fact it only emboldens them.

Just my two cents.

The female mind works different than ours. A very slim girl I know once told a co-worker that she was fat. That female co-worker said: "You know what, I need to hear that more often! Please tell it to me every day, so I can be more motivated!"

Usually women are not that honest and the feminine indoctrination hamster just brushes away all reason demanding that the whole world accept her fat and unhappy lifestyle.

In your case I have sometimes attacked such girls first by jokes and then by harder comments until they have left the room in tears. You could have at least protected the cuter girl from that kind of abusive relationship. Sometimes it is good to remain silent and sometimes you draw your verbal guns and fire away.

Men have to start calling out women on their behavior. With a nice fat girl I would have remained silent, because she likely knows that she is fat and it is not my business to try to change her. But as soon as a fat bitch tries to belittle a slimmer girl, then I don't give a shit whether I cause her some trigger-warning-worthy emotional pain. Who knows - after hearing that a couple times from some hot guys with Game she might amend her ways. Women's hamsters react to the disapproving glare of the Alpha male.

[CRR]

(07-20-2014 07:43 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

(07-20-2014 06:32 AM)Flyjin Wrote:  

...

It’s easy pickings to rail on the plight of our culture and the emergence of the Modern Western Fatty. But I don’t think fat-shaming is the way to solve the problem, in fact it only emboldens them.

Just my two cents.

The female mind works different than ours. A very slim girl I know once told a co-worker that she was fat. That female co-worker said: "You know what, I need to hear that more often! Please tell it to me every day, so I can be more motivated!"

Usually women are not that honest and the feminine indoctrination hamster just brushes away all reason demanding that the whole world accept her fat and unhappy lifestyle.

In your case I have sometimes attacked such girls first by jokes and then by harder comments until they have left the room in tears. You could have at least protected the cuter girl from that kind of abusive relationship. Sometimes it is good to remain silent and sometimes you draw your verbal guns and fire away.

Men have to start calling out women on their behavior. With a nice fat girl I would have remained silent, because she likely knows that she is fat and it is not my business to try to change her. But as soon as a fat bitch tries to belittle a slimmer girl, then I don't give a shit whether I cause her some trigger-warning-worthy emotional pain. Who knows - after hearing that a couple times from some hot guys with Game she might amend her ways. Women's hamsters react to the disapproving glare of the Alpha male.

Agreed, women don't respond to logic. They respond to emotion. Telling someone they need to change their attitude is fairly benign. Telling them to change their appearance strikes a chord.

As I've mentioned, an ex of mine had a dumpy semi-fattie as a friend who thought she was perfect (although I think this was partly a defense mechanism). I wouldn't call her fat, but I'd tell her it's not just about what she wants, but also about what she has to offer. On second thought, that never worked so I probably should've just said "I'm tired of your bitchy arrogance. You're fat, and guys don't like that. Especially the guys you want to date".

Anyway, I think women get that attitude because they're fat, not vice versa. They're angry that slim women get more attention. They used to just stew in their anger, or settle down with a comparable fat guy. But years of teaching them that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes (for them) has given them a warped world view. So on top of that, instead of questioning their beliefs and focusing on self improvement, they insist the world change to revolve around them and change beauty standards so that fat girls are considered attractive. If not, well, you're a misogynist.

And same with me regarding a nice fat girl. I work with a few, and all of them have nice fat boyfriends and seem happy.

[Redwood]

At least the "nice" fat girls have some level of humility. I would say the problem isn't the fatties per se, but society pushing the belief that women "can have it all" regardless of how they look or what they do. Women are naturally going to go along with it, because it triggers the herd mentality that have.

[AnonymousBosch]

(07-20-2014 07:43 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

The female mind works different than ours. A very slim girl I know once told a co-worker that she was fat. That female co-worker said: "You know what, I need to hear that more often! Please tell it to me every day, so I can be more motivated!"

That's what the fat co-worker said to her face. If I know women, she then started a subtle, passive-aggressive campaign of turning every other woman in the workplace against the skinny girl.

High value women never last long in an office of dumpy fatties.