[Nomad77]

A few guys on here don’t like the fact that I don’t participate in certain aspects of the forum. For example, I don’t read or comment on notches, openers, texting, dating, and pickup threads. They say I only talk about “theoretical” stuff. So, in this post I would like to try and explain why...

I have a friend. He's a really good looking, tall guy. He gets a lot of women and he doesn't have to do much to get them. He knows nothing about game. He has never read a game book and doesn't even know sites like this exist. He also doesn't worry about what he is going to say to girls, text them, where to go on dates, etc. He just says whatever he feels like and goes where ever he wants. He is not worried about any of these things because he has BIG game. His BIG game is his good looks. And his extensive experience with women has given him a natural game that would be difficult to get otherwise. He doesn't need to worry about little game stuff because he has BIG game.

I have another friend that looks like Vin Diesel twin brother. Women thinks that he is Vin all the time. We all call him Vin. Whenever we go anywhere with him we get star treatment because the doormen even thinks he is Vin. Like my good looking friend this guy gets a lot of girls too. Again, he has never once worried about what he was going to say to a girl or how to reply to a text message or logistics for a bang. Why? Because he has BIG game. He has fame game. And again, his extensive experience with women has given him a natural game instincts and style. He doesn't need to worry about little game stuff like what should I text a girl why? Because he has BIG game.

I have another friend that's a VP for a large corporation. He travels all around and owns a Mercedes and a Porsche. Whenever he goes out he is rolling in the VIP section with bottle service. He buys the best suits and doesn't mind spending money on girls. Girls know that whenever they are with him they are going to be traveling in style and experiencing the best. Does he ever worry about what he is going to say to a girl, or how he is going to bang her? Not that I've ever heard. He has BIG game. He has money game. But it's not enough to have money. He knows how to flash it and use it. While he can take girls back to his nice apartment he seems to prefer having sex with them in his car. He doesn't need to worry about little game stuff like logistics because girls are happy to bang him in or on his Porsche.

I had another friend in Europe. This didn't have any of the three things the guys above have but he also got a lot of women. He had an awesome personality. He was always the life of the party and girls were naturally attracted to him. I spent a lot of time hanging out with this guy. And in all those years I never once heard him wonder how he was going to talk to a girl or text her or what something some girl did mean. He didn't have to. He had BIG game. He was a natural, with real game.

I don't have any of the type of BIG game these guys have. I am not rich, famous, or good looking. So what's my BIG game then? I call it intrigue game. I have reached a point in my life where I literally don't care. And when a beautiful woman senses this in you, she finds it intriguing. Today a fairly attractive girl invited me to a party and I told her I couldn't go because I was busy. What am I busy doing? Absolutely nothing. I just feel like staying home and doing nothing, so that is exactly what I am going to do. Women find me intriguing because I don't fit any known male patterns and I seem to act in a random fashion. When basically all I am doing is just doing whatever I feel like when I feel like it. I don't follow any game scripts about when to kiss a girl, touch her, what to say when etc.

But there is one thing I have learned from these guys: never sweat the small stuff, especially when it comes to women. If you start trying to figure out what every little thing a woman does mean or doesn't mean it will literally drive you insane. If you have to think about every move you have to make with women it is mentally and emotionally draining. And this is exactly why I don't write about any of this stuff. I wouldn't know what to write because I simply never think about it. If you keep working at your game, there will come a point when you will have internalized so much of what you do that it becomes instinctual. And when you reach that point you will also have acquired your own version of BIG game

[Fortis]

I know that you won't start your own blog, but that was a pleasure to read. Positive, insightful and actionable.

As I grow older, I am less interested in women or their games, and I think a lot of women can sense my utter lack of interest in their affairs, but I feel sort of lopsided in my development as a man in a way that takes away from my masculinity. It's like there's nothing for me to actually have big game around besides just learning game and having game.

[Nomad77]

Thanks, I have to say: I love women BUT I love women that act like women. When I meet a woman that is feminine and sweet she turns on the BIG game animal in me The more attracted I am to a woman the more on auto pilot I go. I simply get so caught up in her that I don't want to be distracted by thinking about the little details. I want to enjoy her and focus on that enjoyment and the moments.

I think like everything we learn when we are starting out we get wrapped up with the technical stuff and that's ok. But if you stay preoccupied with the technical stuff you will never get to the level where you become really good. And that's where you really start to enjoy yourself. I love picking up women. It's fun but it wouldn't be fun for me if I had to think about all of these technical details including whether I bang her or not. I simply wouldn't be able to enjoy it anymore. I went through a similar process with my photography.

[Fortis]

^ That's a good mindset.

[Bill]

Sounds like MGTOW game.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

What you described are aspects which sometimes create a Natural - good looks, success, personality. Guys have it and then due to interactions with women they morph into an Alpha with natural Game.

I still prefer to learn about all aspects, since most of those guys are unconsciously competent unable to teach their Game to anyone. And if you took away their advantages they might implode (accident disfiguring face, getting fat or losing their money). Some have internalized it to a greater degree and are able to uphold the frame even without the looks or the cash, but those are few.

In my younger days I attracted girls via my looks and passion (and was unaware that I did). I had no idea that girls talk between each other and did not understand why suddenly after the end of a relationship my ex' best girlfriend would show up at my work without her underwear on.
Later in life I manifested more of the Success Game as I started making money and was strolling into clubs with the right attitude. It never was at the levels you describe at your Big Game level friends, but it was similar.

Nevertheless since I spent most of my time within numerous LTRs I did not learn much about Game and women. The Natural becomes so through constant and frequent interaction. He goes out often and racks up the approaches and numbers. Being good-looking or wealthy is not enough - I can give you countless examples of guys with the same characteristics who are pussy-pedestalizing Betas.

The most powerful beast is the Man with massive Inner & Passive Game (looks, wealth, fame) and who has learned Game consciously thus being able to improve his natural Game tremendously. Then you have guys like G-Manifesto or the future versions of Christian McQueen or Krauser. Even if they choose to become monogamous married men like Rollo Tomassi their understanding and application of Game makes them true masters of the craft.

[Nomad77]

Yes, this is true. These guys were able to leverage their looks, fame, and money to learn a natural style of game. Of course if you took away that foundational element they would be extremely weak at getting women. The point I am trying to make is that when you have these larger elements or high degree of inner or passive game in play you don't worry about a lot of the smaller stuff because you simply don't need to. It's like a beautiful woman not needing to have a great personality.

[KC4]

I could only read this with a smile, awsome post

[Pantheon Dweller]

(07-20-2014 04:37 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

And if you took away their advantages they might implode (accident disfiguring face, getting fat or losing their money).

I get your point for looks and fame, but if you're smart with money, your wealth should only go up. There are ways to protect yourself.

[Nomad77]

@KC4 Thanks.

Another interesting point about these guys is that they never counted their bangs or talked about them. It was very rare for any of them to tell me about some girl they banged unless she was different in some way: like a pornstar or famous lesbian. If she was really good in bed they may mention something but to the best of my knowledge they never kept a notch count, flag count, or any kind of count. They also never bitched about women again unless they did something very unusual. Once a woman punched one of them in the face because he took her home and then didn't want to have sex with her. She literally started attacking him and he had to call the cops to get her out of the apartment. I guess a bang was just something that was a natural event to them - something not even worth mentioning normally, like breathing. They also never complained about LMR or not banging a girl. For them it was like it was all good and fun stuff. They treated women like little kids, they found them amusing for the most part. They were always looking for that one great girl though and when they met someone they felt had potential they would get into a LTR and cut back on their philandering ways. Like all of us they were looking not just for sex but for love.

None of these guys had every read a single book on game or probably even a post on a forum like this but they all got way more women than I did. (Well, actually I never did either until a few years ago.) Where I evened the score was that I got way more interesting women. I guess the grass always seems greener on the other side...

[Redwood]

Why would we become wrapped up in what a woman is thinking about anyway? That kills your inner game right there, because your game becomes less natural and more artificial.

With game, I've always found that LESS is MORE most of the time. Too much energy into it makes it feel more like a chore rather than a fun hobby.

[monster]

(07-19-2014 10:58 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

Does he ever worry about what he is going to say to a girl, or how he is going to bang her? Not that I've ever heard. He has BIG game.

If you don't talk about this stuff with your friends, what do you talk about?

Most of my talk with my guy friends revolves around girls & what they're thinking, etc. And that forms one of the bases of our friendships otherwise I dont know what I'd talk about with them

[horn]

Great post Nomad.

[Rush87]

(07-20-2014 02:53 PM)monster Wrote:  

(07-19-2014 10:58 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

Does he ever worry about what he is going to say to a girl, or how he is going to bang her? Not that I've ever heard. He has BIG game.

If you don't talk about this stuff with your friends, what do you talk about?

Most of my talk with my guy friends revolves around girls & what they're thinking, etc. And that forms one of the bases of our friendships otherwise I dont know what I'd talk about with them

I would agree with what the OP is saying. My two best mates have big game stemming from looks. If they want to have sex on a night out, they will have sex 100% of the time.

They never ever talk about the girls they sleep with, or girls in general. They talk about their weights routine, weekend sports results, movies, politics, business. Everything really except women.

I.E If I was to say "Man, that girl you pulled on the weekend was a 10!" They would chuckle and say "Yeah…" before changing the topic to something else.

Sex is like breathing for these guys… Not really an interesting topic to discuss.

[Nomad77]

Exactly

[Nascimento]

Nomad continue to do posts like this. Always insightful.

[Jestx]

Great post and this is always something to strive for but for many guys here they have not reached the point of internalization or consistency of success which is WHY they sweat the small stuff.

[Nomad77]

Thanks guys but I believe it's the opposite. When you focus on the small stuff you cannot see the bigger picture. It's a question of can't see the forest from the trees. You need to let go of the little things in order to see the bigger picture. You need to seek big game to find it.

[Nomad77]

In photography this is called finding your vision. The way you see the world. And it has nothing to do with a camera.

[Blobert]

(07-20-2014 02:53 PM)monster Wrote:  

(07-19-2014 10:58 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

Does he ever worry about what he is going to say to a girl, or how he is going to bang her? Not that I've ever heard. He has BIG game.

If you don't talk about this stuff with your friends, what do you talk about?

Most of my talk with my guy friends revolves around girls & what they're thinking, etc. And that forms one of the bases of our friendships otherwise I dont know what I'd talk about with them

That sounds like a potential problem actually. Not that you talk about girls with your friends, but that you don't know what to talk besides them... An interesting guy has interesting things to talk about to almost anyone, especially their friends. And talking about specific girls and their actions might help you understand the specific situation but it isn't really helping your game long term in the same way as insights from a more profound conversation might. It's not a topic you can talk about with girls, either.


Myself I'm not super succesful with women, nor are most of my friends, but still we don't waste too much time discussing girls. If there's a funny or crazy story involving a girl that's cool, like with any subject. And I can give a friend a tip on something if I see him make the same simple mistake consistently with girls, for example. But dwelling over the minute technical details of picking up girls is not something I see as interesting or terribly useful.

[Parlay44]

[Nomad77]

Let me tell you my journey into photography which is a good analogy of this concept. When I got started in photography I, like most people, focused on learning about the hardware. I became wrapped up in all the technical details of the camera and photography. After 10 years! I knew ALL the technical details about how to take a photograph but yet the photographs I took were for the most part mediocre - just average. Then I met one of the guys above who is a professional photographer. I started hanging out with him and got to watch him work. I quickly realized something that shocked me! I actually knew a lot more about the technical aspects of photography than this guy. Yet, he took way better photos than I did. He was even making some technical mistakes but his photos were still way better than mine. Why was this I asked myself? And it took me a while to understand how this could be. The short answer was:

While I was focused on the technical details of photography (all the little stuff), he was focused on simply taking great photos (the BIG stuff). By focusing on taking great photos he became good at making great photos. Me, by focusing, on the technical aspects of photography became good at knowing everything about making a photograph but very little about actually creating a great one. It's the same with Game and women.

[Parlay44]

It's the same with guitar. First you learn the scales, chords and techniques. Then you learn how to use them. There's a world of difference between being a musician and being an artist or a song writer.

[Nomad77]

True, what we focus on makes a huge difference on what we achieve. Focus on the technical stuff and you will become good at the technical stuff but not good at making great music.

[Rush87]

The same analogy applies in filmmaking. Hundreds of thousands of people world wide attend film school & understand every concept from camera techniques to screenwriting but at the end of the day successful graduates are less than 1% & the majority of successful film makers don't come from a formal film education background.

In screenwriting for instance; thousands of writers get bogged down with arbitrary rules [From font format to page specific 'turning points'] - At the end of the day though the 'Small Stuff' is irrelevant & the 'Big Picture' is all that matters.

Quentin Tarantino is a perfect example. Technically breaks nearly every small rule of writing yet 'The Big Picture' is an Oscar for best original screenplay. The notion of 'don't sweat the small stuff' can [In a lot of ways] be beneficial to nearly every aspect of life.