These days a girl will give anybody her number. They love the attention, and the control that comes with it (picking and choosing whose texts they reply to), but for most guys trying to figure out what to text a girl can be very frustrating.
There's been tons of debates as to which way is right... do I text? What do I text? Or do I call? The Great G-man, has always been an advocate of the call, while yours truly had for years been all about texting. Well, it's time to mesh these two approaches together.
In my experience, the BEST way to avoid flakes, get more dates and more opportunities to show a girl that you're the next guy she wants to bang is to follow these simple steps:
1. You meet the girl (obviously) -
It goes without saying if you don't build a good rapport when you first meet (or she's completely wasted) the chances of you communicating again are slim to none. She may give you the courtesy "Who is this?" text, but that's a sign that you're likely already dead in the water.
As a way of hopefully circumventing that, WHEN I settle for a girls number, I do one of two things:
Option A: "Hey, we should hang out again, put your number in my phone [she does]. Cool, I'll call/text you real quick now so you have mine."
Option B: "Hey, you seem (like fun/cool) take my number, and then text (or call) me so I have yours."
Let's move on though, because building attraction and getting a number, is not what this topic is all about.
2. Unless she EXPLICITLY ASKS OTHERWISE, ALWAYS TEXT FIRST!
Calling first is idiotic, there's a way higher chance she doesn't answer your call vs her not responding to a text (eventually). When you call, she might be doing something where she's not even able to answer the phone, and then it just gets awkward. Trust me, you don't want to leave some dopey message that she's going to listen to and wonder why the hell she ever gave you her number in the first place. Plus if you call her, and then try a desperation text later, you'll look like an idiot, and I highly doubt you'll get a response. So just start with a text.
If you've read my newbie guide (link) your first text should be simple, don't be a dildo and try and tell her some joke, or whatever, just go with "What's up" or "Hey, how are you?" maybe even "Hey this is X" and then play that fun waiting game... If she texts back, cool.
Now, here's where I used to think the best move was just keeping it simple, logistical and that was that. I was wrong. Instead, be slightly playful (not stupid or sexual) and maybe make a sarcastic joke that even your 6 year old nephew would understand. The point isn't to be funny, but to show that you're not some robot. So play her texting games a little, but don't start answering a bunch of questions, maybe a half-dozen depending on what they are, but then STOP!
Reply to one of her questions without answering, and instead send her your own question, "What are you doing in an hour?"
Wait for the reply, and say, "Cool, I'll call you around x time." Make this move later in the day, always on a weekday, when you think she'll be at home and can have a conversation. Hopefully you can lock it in, and then call her 5-10 minutes after you said you would. Trust me, that's just the way to do it.
3. The phone call!
So, now you're going to call her and really see what's up. Why are you doing this? Well basically to show your personality. Talking to a girl over the phone, you get the chance to make a joke or two, show her how intelligent, funny and quick-witted you are, and sell her on you. You can tell a much better story here to get her more interested in you, and ideally, you can even get her talking and telling you stuff, showing that she's interested in you getting to know her too. Even if she isn't talking so much about herself, if she's asking questions, you're headed in the right direction.
Trust me, this is the way to go. It'll build so much more of a connection than if you just text a couple times and say, "Ok, meet me at X bar, at Y time."
The more she knows who you are (or present yourself as), and the more she hears your voice, the more invested she'll be, and the less likely she is to flake/cancel plans. Hearing your voice is key, because she'll become more comfortable with hearing you talk, even before you hang out again face to face.
Ultimately though, it's a style choice, what works best for me, might not work best for you. However, I've given this some field testing and I think it can work for everyone, so why not give this method a try and see if it helps you secure more bangs!
There's been tons of debates as to which way is right... do I text? What do I text? Or do I call? The Great G-man, has always been an advocate of the call, while yours truly had for years been all about texting. Well, it's time to mesh these two approaches together.
In my experience, the BEST way to avoid flakes, get more dates and more opportunities to show a girl that you're the next guy she wants to bang is to follow these simple steps:
1. You meet the girl (obviously) -
It goes without saying if you don't build a good rapport when you first meet (or she's completely wasted) the chances of you communicating again are slim to none. She may give you the courtesy "Who is this?" text, but that's a sign that you're likely already dead in the water.
As a way of hopefully circumventing that, WHEN I settle for a girls number, I do one of two things:
Option A: "Hey, we should hang out again, put your number in my phone [she does]. Cool, I'll call/text you real quick now so you have mine."
Option B: "Hey, you seem (like fun/cool) take my number, and then text (or call) me so I have yours."
Let's move on though, because building attraction and getting a number, is not what this topic is all about.
2. Unless she EXPLICITLY ASKS OTHERWISE, ALWAYS TEXT FIRST!
Calling first is idiotic, there's a way higher chance she doesn't answer your call vs her not responding to a text (eventually). When you call, she might be doing something where she's not even able to answer the phone, and then it just gets awkward. Trust me, you don't want to leave some dopey message that she's going to listen to and wonder why the hell she ever gave you her number in the first place. Plus if you call her, and then try a desperation text later, you'll look like an idiot, and I highly doubt you'll get a response. So just start with a text.
If you've read my newbie guide (link) your first text should be simple, don't be a dildo and try and tell her some joke, or whatever, just go with "What's up" or "Hey, how are you?" maybe even "Hey this is X" and then play that fun waiting game... If she texts back, cool.
Now, here's where I used to think the best move was just keeping it simple, logistical and that was that. I was wrong. Instead, be slightly playful (not stupid or sexual) and maybe make a sarcastic joke that even your 6 year old nephew would understand. The point isn't to be funny, but to show that you're not some robot. So play her texting games a little, but don't start answering a bunch of questions, maybe a half-dozen depending on what they are, but then STOP!
Reply to one of her questions without answering, and instead send her your own question, "What are you doing in an hour?"
Wait for the reply, and say, "Cool, I'll call you around x time." Make this move later in the day, always on a weekday, when you think she'll be at home and can have a conversation. Hopefully you can lock it in, and then call her 5-10 minutes after you said you would. Trust me, that's just the way to do it.
3. The phone call!
So, now you're going to call her and really see what's up. Why are you doing this? Well basically to show your personality. Talking to a girl over the phone, you get the chance to make a joke or two, show her how intelligent, funny and quick-witted you are, and sell her on you. You can tell a much better story here to get her more interested in you, and ideally, you can even get her talking and telling you stuff, showing that she's interested in you getting to know her too. Even if she isn't talking so much about herself, if she's asking questions, you're headed in the right direction.
Trust me, this is the way to go. It'll build so much more of a connection than if you just text a couple times and say, "Ok, meet me at X bar, at Y time."
The more she knows who you are (or present yourself as), and the more she hears your voice, the more invested she'll be, and the less likely she is to flake/cancel plans. Hearing your voice is key, because she'll become more comfortable with hearing you talk, even before you hang out again face to face.
Ultimately though, it's a style choice, what works best for me, might not work best for you. However, I've given this some field testing and I think it can work for everyone, so why not give this method a try and see if it helps you secure more bangs!
