[norinho]

I was in a meeting ,where was this girl which I find interesting, I barely exchanged a few words with her . I heared her name in meeting , so later on I found her on Facebook and sent friend request but now days after still my invite has not been accepted, should I send her a message or just don't try to contact her?

[Hans Dix]

radar is buzzing

But if this really is true, no contact.

[norinho]

I am not troll, you can see that i am registered for a long time, I just really interested in this girl and want to try something

[Atlantic]

Yes you will look like a stalker.
You cant talk to her in a formal meeting but you expect her to meet again in an intimate setting?

[norinho]

(06-28-2014 04:18 AM)Atlantic Wrote:  

Yes you will look like a stalker.
You cant talk to her in a formal meeting but you expect her to meet again in an intimate setting?

there was no time for me to talk with her, I would have talked with her more but I couldnt

[Skye]

The facts of the matter are:

1.) You did not build rapport face to face with her before Facebook contact, she did not give you her name you simply overheard it. That seems very, for lack of better words, thirsty and stalkerish.

2.) Facebook is a tool for inflating ego, you could have just grabbed her hamster wheel and gave it a firm spin. To her it may seem as though she was so irresistible some creep asked for her name and added her on Facebook just to see pictures of her or be generally a beta.

The best move would have been to attempt reinitiating conversation at a later date.

[Atlantic]

(06-28-2014 04:24 AM)norinho Wrote:  

(06-28-2014 04:18 AM)Atlantic Wrote:  

Yes you will look like a stalker.
You cant talk to her in a formal meeting but you expect her to meet again in an intimate setting?

there was no time for me to talk with her, I would have talked with her more but I couldnt

This lead is dead. Dont worry about it but do realise that it won't go anywhere. Approach twenty more girls and forget about it.

[norinho]

(06-28-2014 04:43 AM)Atlantic Wrote:  

(06-28-2014 04:24 AM)norinho Wrote:  

(06-28-2014 04:18 AM)Atlantic Wrote:  

Yes you will look like a stalker.
You cant talk to her in a formal meeting but you expect her to meet again in an intimate setting?

there was no time for me to talk with her, I would have talked with her more but I couldnt

This lead is dead. Dont worry about it but do realise that it won't go anywhere. Approach twenty more girls and forget about it.

thank you, I will try to forget her, the thing is I wouldnt even consider doing this lame shit but this girl seemed something different than others, I guess my oneitis comes back

[Sargon of Akkad]

So...what?

This'll happen a lot when you approach women. If only I had a thousand yen for every woman who either flaked on me or ignored a text for whichever reason. If you just overheard her name (why didn't you ask for it in the first place?) there's no reason for her to have added you in the first place.

Get used to it. Approach someone else. Problem solved.

[SydneyD]

OF COURSE YOU WILL!!

you were rejected man, accept it and move on and stop posting and trolling about it all over the internet.

why do you care so much about her not responding? you shouldn't be giving so many fucks about it. Find other prospects to game

[kaotic]

Absolutely you will look stalker, I personally don't add or check out girls on FB unless they add me.

Get rid of the oneitis, it's poisoning your mind.

Plenty of fish in the sea, keep approaching and closing numbers.

[SydneyD]

(06-28-2014 04:47 AM)norinho Wrote:  

(06-28-2014 04:43 AM)Atlantic Wrote:  

(06-28-2014 04:24 AM)norinho Wrote:  

(06-28-2014 04:18 AM)Atlantic Wrote:  

Yes you will look like a stalker.
You cant talk to her in a formal meeting but you expect her to meet again in an intimate setting?

there was no time for me to talk with her, I would have talked with her more but I couldnt

This lead is dead. Dont worry about it but do realise that it won't go anywhere. Approach twenty more girls and forget about it.

thank you, I will try to forget her, the thing is I wouldnt even consider doing this lame shit but this girl seemed something different than others, I guess my oneitis comes back

" but this girl seemed something different than others"

what do you mean she seemed 'different'? that's a major sign of oneitis right there. You only saw her in a meeting and you already think she is 'different'. Damn you are beta to the core! The solution is simple, do 100 approaches and you'll see for yourself the changes it will bring to your mindset

[redbeard]

fuck facebook

[robreke]

I think I may have come across as stalker to a girl I have been dating and want to get suggestions for damage control.

I had a date set Monday night with this girl who I had been broken up with a few weeks. We were banging for a few months and things were going well, but she called it off when I went for exclusivity and said she felt a little "smothered"

We had date set for Monday night this week which was our first date back together. Earlier in the day on Monday afternoon, I run into her at this coffee shop. We chat for a few minutes and say look forward to seeing you tonight.

Our date that night went really good, laughing, hand holding, great parking lot makeout but I couldn't bounce as she had classes on Tues. morning. She even phones me on the way home from date to chat.

I don't call her on Tues. On Wednesday, I stop at this same coffeeshop to grab a cup. Literally, as I'm getting out of my car....I see her pull in and park a little closer to the coffeeshop. So, as I'm walking in the front door, I lightly tap her truck. She gets out and says "do I know you"

we go in, order our coffee and sit down. I tell her I was grabbing a cup on the way to an appointment which is true. She seemed a little nervous during our chat. I ask her for another date while we're sitting there and she agrees to Monday night ( after the weekend as she'll be out of town )

I ask her to walk me to my car...which she does. She goes into hug me kind of turning her face. I go for the kiss and we smooch on the lips. I say "see you Monday" she says...." Ok, bye" abruptly and walks off without even looking me in the eye after the kiss. She's never done this before after a kiss. The energy felt bad.

I'm thinking that she may think I was stalking her out at the coffeeshop after our date and the way I tapped on her truck before she got out. I'm sensing she's going to cancel the date on Monday just based on the energy of our meeting at the coffee shop.


I was thinking of texting her and canceling our Monday meetup for some reason to show I'm not so desperate. Then, waiting for her reply for me to make a counter offer.

[BCien]

(09-26-2014 07:38 AM)robreke Wrote:  

I think I may have come across as stalker to a girl I have been dating and want to get suggestions for damage control.

I had a date set Monday night with this girl who I had been broken up with a few weeks. We were banging for a few months and things were going well, but she called it off when I went for exclusivity and said she felt a little "smothered"

We had date set for Monday night this week which was our first date back together. Earlier in the day on Monday afternoon, I run into her at this coffee shop. We chat for a few minutes and say look forward to seeing you tonight.

Our date that night went really good, laughing, hand holding, great parking lot makeout but I couldn't bounce as she had classes on Tues. morning. She even phones me on the way home from date to chat.

I don't call her on Tues. On Wednesday, I stop at this same coffeeshop to grab a cup. Literally, as I'm getting out of my car....I see her pull in and park a little closer to the coffeeshop. So, as I'm walking in the front door, I lightly tap her truck. She gets out and says "do I know you"

we go in, order our coffee and sit down. I tell her I was grabbing a cup on the way to an appointment which is true. She seemed a little nervous during our chat. I ask her for another date while we're sitting there and she agrees to Monday night ( after the weekend as she'll be out of town )

I ask her to walk me to my car...which she does. She goes into hug me kind of turning her face. I go for the kiss and we smooch on the lips. I say "see you Monday" she says...." Ok, bye" abruptly and walks off without even looking me in the eye after the kiss. She's never done this before after a kiss. The energy felt bad.

I'm thinking that she may think I was stalking her out at the coffeeshop after our date and the way I tapped on her truck before she got out. I'm sensing she's going to cancel the date on Monday just based on the energy of our meeting at the coffee shop.


I was thinking of texting her and canceling our Monday meetup for some reason to show I'm not so desperate. Then, waiting for her reply for me to make a counter offer.

Im going through something similar, Id cancel it if I was you and wait to see if she contacts you,she may be attracted to you however she could be seeing someone, that whole cold shoulder when she said bye to you gives off that vibe. Dont put much thought into it start approaching more if she really wants you she will contact you just hold your frame this time and on your own terms, you'll be doing better by then.

[robreke]

Do you think I should cancel and counter offer....or just cancel?

[BCien]

(09-26-2014 12:30 PM)robreke Wrote:  

Do you think I should cancel and counter offer....or just cancel?

Id say counter offer but dont expect much...

[robreke]

(09-26-2014 07:38 AM)robreke Wrote:  

I think I may have come across as stalker to a girl I have been dating and want to get suggestions for damage control.

I had a date set Monday night with this girl who I had been broken up with a few weeks. We were banging for a few months and things were going well, but she called it off when I went for exclusivity and said she felt a little "smothered"

We had date set for Monday night this week which was our first date back together. Earlier in the day on Monday afternoon, I run into her at this coffee shop. We chat for a few minutes and say look forward to seeing you tonight.

Our date that night went really good, laughing, hand holding, great parking lot makeout but I couldn't bounce as she had classes on Tues. morning. She even phones me on the way home from date to chat.

I don't call her on Tues. On Wednesday, I stop at this same coffeeshop to grab a cup. Literally, as I'm getting out of my car....I see her pull in and park a little closer to the coffeeshop. So, as I'm walking in the front door, I lightly tap her truck. She gets out and says "do I know you"

we go in, order our coffee and sit down. I tell her I was grabbing a cup on the way to an appointment which is true. She seemed a little nervous during our chat. I ask her for another date while we're sitting there and she agrees to Monday night ( after the weekend as she'll be out of town )

I ask her to walk me to my car...which she does. She goes into hug me kind of turning her face. I go for the kiss and we smooch on the lips. I say "see you Monday" she says...." Ok, bye" abruptly and walks off without even looking me in the eye after the kiss. She's never done this before after a kiss. The energy felt bad.

I'm thinking that she may think I was stalking her out at the coffeeshop after our date and the way I tapped on her truck before she got out. I'm sensing she's going to cancel the date on Monday just based on the energy of our meeting at the coffee shop.


I was thinking of texting her and canceling our Monday meetup for some reason to show I'm not so desperate. Then, waiting for her reply for me to make a counter offer.

Based on the above situation/information....this girl will not even return my texts. So, I have figured out that by ACCIDENTALLY bumping into her at the coffeeshop for the second time in 3 days (which was a few days after our successful date)....she thinks I was being a creepy stalker. She's weirded out and not returning texts.

The messed up thing of it is....two days before we had a great "get back together after being broke up for a few weeks" date. Absolutely great date. Then, I bump into her at the coffeeshop on Wednesday and I'm thinking she thinks I was waiting there for her like a stalker(Nothing could be further from the truth : I had literally just arrived and was getting out of my truck when she pulled up.....total coincidence )....but all she saw was me walking up to her car to say hello when she pulled up as if I'd been waiting for her.

Should I wait a few days and try to explain to her that she's misunderstanding the whole deal ( it was a crazy ass coincidence I bumped into her again) or should I wait a few weeks to do this....or what? I can be a very persuasive and eloquent dude. I'm a successful salesperson. Part of me thinks it wouldn't work though.

I have some other dates lined up this week....but damn this hurts as I've been trying to get this girl back because I really like her......then with the date on Monday with her that went so well, I had the momentum again and she was definitely attracted again....then, running into her at the coffeeshop fucked it up as she thinks I'm stalker. Advice appreciated.

[edtf]

One thing that has helped me a lot… always assume your relationship with a woman can fall to shit immediately, for arbitrary, stupid reasons beyond your control. When there's this expectation, nothing they do can hurt you. You don't get surprised when your dog shits on the carpet, because you understand that its the dog's nature to do it. Women are fickle, its their nature, some are better than others, they are the exception and not the rule.

[boywonder34]

"Should I wait a few days and try to explain to her that she's misunderstanding the whole deal ( it was a crazy ass coincidence I bumped into her again)"

I wouldn't. To be honest it doesn't seem like this is salvagable. If she really liked you, wouldn't she have been glad that you bumped into her on the Wednesday? how did you feel when you saw she her pull in but before you talked to her?

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you look deep down, why do you think you're asking us? Is it because you're hoping someone will tell you the opposite of what you deep down already know?

Im in a similar situation where im a bit hung up on one girl. The best way I can think of to move on is to replace her with another girl.

You've said you have other dates lined up, you're already doing what you need to do

in fact maybe being hung up on this girl will help you on these dates, it will ensure you're a little bit aloof and distant.

Actually, let us know what happens on those dates

[robreke]

(09-28-2014 04:27 PM)boywonder34 Wrote:  

"Should I wait a few days and try to explain to her that she's misunderstanding the whole deal ( it was a crazy ass coincidence I bumped into her again)"

I wouldn't. To be honest it doesn't seem like this is salvagable. If she really liked you, wouldn't she have been glad that you bumped into her on the Wednesday? how did you feel when you saw she her pull in but before you talked to her?

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you look deep down, why do you think you're asking us? Is it because you're hoping someone will tell you the opposite of what you deep down already know?

Im in a similar situation where im a bit hung up on one girl. The best way I can think of to move on is to replace her with another girl.

You've said you have other dates lined up, you're already doing what you need to do

in fact maybe being hung up on this girl will help you on these dates, it will ensure you're a little bit aloof and distant.

Actually, let us know what happens on those dates

All good points.

To answer your question let me offer a little more backdrop to this one girl.

she broke up with me about 4 weeks ago because she felt I was "smothering" her a bit and had asked for exclusivity.

In the 4 weeks though her and I kept texting and she would immediately return all texts

Then, we had that first date on Monday night and it went real well. We made out big time and she was giving he 'hungry" kisses and makeout ( I think she missed our sex) She said "call me" and on my way home from the date she called to talk to me. The date went really well.

When I bumped into her Wednesday...she didn't see me pull in. I saw her pull in and since I was already going to get coffee, I kind of tapped on her car as I walked up before she got out. I literally think she thinks I was staked out there and walk right up to her car before she gets out. I think this creeped her out as I was doing the "smothering" thing again. Only thing is....I wasn't staked out there.....she just happen to pull in right behind me. weird curveball from the universe. Perhaps I should have just driven off and not got my coffee when I saw her pull up?

In any event, I'm convinced she thinks I was already smothering her after one date. That's what I want to explain away. Honestly, I think I'm just going to go 2 weeks radio silence and try to reinitiate if I don't hear from her.

[boywonder34]

Well I can only speak from my limited experience, I tend to just look at what is happening. Even though she said "call me", would you say her actions are consistent with someone who looks forward to seeing you again?

"I think this creeped her out as I was doing the "smothering" thing again. Only thing is....I wasn't staked out there.....she just happen to pull in right behind me. weird curveball from the universe. Perhaps I should have just driven off and not got my coffee when I saw her pull up?"

Yes, possibly her thoughts of you smothering and overwhelming her and always being in the background resurfaced when you tapped her car.

I have been in situations where I was going to go somewhere, but changed my route precisely -because- I might bump into her again eg i was going to go to the supermarket at the end of the day. I happened to day game a girl just before I went to the supermarket, and she said she was heading there now. Do you think it would have been a good idea to follow her there, because I also needed to go to the supermarket? I chose not to, waited for a bit, then went to buy my stuff, hoping not to see her.

So yes, driving off and forgoing your coffee would have been an ok move.

As for your radio silence move its ok. The best I've done is asked a girl out, she freaked out. I left it for quite a while, then asked if she wanted to come to something a friend and I were going to (she had earlier said she wanted to go there). She said my last text "scared her" little, but we're friends now. Not sure if you could salvage much more than that, but let us know what happens.

Sucks when a girl kisses you back and reciprocates, then goes cold. I used to think it doesn't make any sense - why would she kiss you back if she doesn't like you? Then I realised, what are her actions telling me? Are they consistent with that of a girl who wants to see you again? Because the kisses and all that dont matter. What matters is whether she is making easy for you to see her again.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

IMHO you just answered your own question

Maybe thoughts of being "smothered" did resurface, but all is not lost

It's my belief, just like you can rekindle negative emotions you can do the same with positive emotions (as evidenced with your recent date) with someone you have history with.

That's why a number of guys experience the "comeback pussy" phenomenon

Just as you proposed - hit the reset button

Go silent for two weeks (unless she reengages), keep normal gaming activities and re-engage

Don't pull the plug just yet, we aren't mind readers so this still may be savable.

[robreke]

(09-30-2014 02:09 PM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:  

IMHO you just answered your own question

Maybe thoughts of being "smothered" did resurface, but all is not lost

It's my belief, just like you can rekindle negative emotions you can do the same with positive emotions (as evidenced with your recent date) with someone you have history with.

That's why a number of guys experience the "comeback pussy" phenomenon

Just as you proposed - hit the reset button

Go silent for two weeks (unless she reengages), keep normal gaming activities and re-engage

Don't pull the plug just yet, we aren't mind readers so this still may be savable.

I was going to wait two weeks....but I saw her facebook cover page and it's her standing with some guy. She's never had that on her FB page before even when her and I went out for two months.

So, I kind of panicked and texted her a random friendly message today which she responded back within an hour saying she hopes my week was good and she's super busy.

I'm thinking if I wait the two weeks now, she may be in a relationship. So...I was thinking of asking what her schedule was like to see if she's free.....for now, I'm just holding the course.

[AneroidOcean]

(09-30-2014 04:00 PM)robreke Wrote:  

I was going to wait two weeks....but I saw her facebook cover page and it's her standing with some guy. She's never had that on her FB page before even when her and I went out for two months.

Hold the course of not giving a fuck. It's possible she started seeing some guy and was maybe even meeting up with him at that same Starbucks or soon before or after you just ran into her. Just go along as if nothing happened. If she comes back, great. If not, great too.

You know what the absolute best thing a guy ever did for me when I had a hard break up with a girl and wanted her back? He said, "You're single? CONGRATULATIONS" and then proceeded to give me a humongous fucking high five.

I felt better from that point onwards. I'm a big proponent of move on. If she catches up okay, but it's unlikely and usually only happens if you move on anyway.