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Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you
#1

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

Last night I went to a bar and was standing at the bar waiting for a friend to show up. Standing next to me was a girl who pretty much immediately began chatting me up, touching my arm, leading the conversation, etc. Tons of IOIs and good vibes. I had to walk away to meet my friend outside, but once we were inside and I crossed paths with her she'd beeline right up to me.

I got her on the dance floor and we danced for a bit when she suggested we get shots. I snidely said "Alright, but it's your treat". She said "In your dreams!" and giggled. We went up to the bar and struck up a conversation with these 2 guys who were also there, and all 4 of us got shots and did them with the bartender. As soon as we were done the two guys walked away, as did the bartender. I assumed the shots were on the house since myself and the 2 guys knew the bartender, so I walked away to get back to my group. The girl said she was ordering a drink and she'd be right there. But she never did come back.

I ran into her again at the bar and went up to her, and the smiley, happy face she had on all night was like a sneer and she goes "You coming back to get some more free shots???" I guess those shots weren't free and she had to pay for mine. Before I could answer she walked away and I'm guessing she left because I didn't see her after that.

Now my personal rule is to never buy drinks for girls. Shit, I don't even buy drinks for girls I'm dating exclusively. And I've had girls buy drinks for me as a sign of interest, and I've taken it to mean that I have high status for them to willingly give up their money for me (And as we all know women are really cheap and a pretty girl can probably go to a bar with an empty purse and get free drinks all night). This girl wasn't a knockout, but I was amazed that she was giving me some of the most direct IOI's I've ever gotten in my life, and in the span of a minute she completely changed her attitude toward me.

I know that women don't like guys they perceive as being cheap, so if she did have to pay for me do you think that's enough for these heavy IOI's to just stop? I can't think of anything else I could've done to turn her off like that.
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#2

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

If you can get a girl to buy you drinks, you've already won half the battle. If she's buying the drinks, 99% of the time she's DTF. You don't really win any points by buying a drink. If she wants to bang you, she won't care that you can't buy drinks. I've been talking girls up and they ask me for a drink, and when I respond 'no', they've run off, found another sucker to buy her a drink and come back and talk to me. Getting asked to buy a drink is just another shit test. Treat it like one. Play it right, and she might even buy you one.
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#3

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

I've had girls try and pull this shit on me.

The question is who ordered the shots? That's who should pay (unless you've agreed to another deal - which it doesn't sound like you did). At worst you should be on the hook for your own drink

Once when I was much younger and more naive I was at a hotel bar in New Orleans. A legit 9 came up and started making out with me then invited me over to sit at her table with her groups of friends. Awesome. After a bit I got up to use the bathroom, when I got back they had bounced. I was a little bummed that I didn't get to take the girl home until the bartender waved me over and asked me to settle up their bill. I asked him if I'd ordered any of the drinks - he said I hadn't - so I said you better run after the people who did then. He saw the logic and went off to go find the girls. I wonder sometimes how many suckers would have just paid their bartab.
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#4

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

Quote: (06-23-2014 06:42 PM)From Vegas to Tokyo Wrote:  

If you can get a girl to buy you drinks, you've already won half the battle. If she's buying the drinks, 99% of the time she's DTF. You don't really win any points by buying a drink. If she wants to bang you, she won't care that you can't buy drinks. I've been talking girls up and they ask me for a drink, and when I respond 'no', they've run off, found another sucker to buy her a drink and come back and talk to me. Getting asked to buy a drink is just another shit test. Treat it like one. Play it right, and she might even buy you one.

Yeah, even before I studied game I never bought a girl a drink. A few years ago I was at a bar and the hottest girl there came up to me and said she was broke and asked if I could buy her a drink. I told her no, and teased her and asked her why she'd go to a bar with no money. She got close and pressed her tits up to my chest and put on her bedroom eyes, but I still didn't give in. So she found someone else to buy her drinks and just hung around him all night, and when I tried to say goodbye when I left she completely ignored me. I highly doubt she was with him because he bought her a drink, and I guarantee she'd still end up with that guy and his friends had I bought her a drink.


Quote: (06-23-2014 07:01 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

I've had girls try and pull this shit on me.

The question is who ordered the shots? That's who should pay (unless you've agreed to another deal - which it doesn't sound like you did). At worst you should be on the hook for your own drink

Once when I was much younger and more naive I was at a hotel bar in New Orleans. A legit 9 came up and started making out with me then invited me over to sit at her table with her groups of friends. Awesome. After a bit I got up to use the bathroom, when I got back they had bounced. I was a little bummed that I didn't get to take the girl home until the bartender waved me over and asked me to settle up their bill. I asked him if I'd ordered any of the drinks - he said I hadn't - so I said you better run after the people who did then. He saw the logic and went off to go find the girls. I wonder sometimes how many suckers would have just paid their bartab.

It was her idea. We were dancing and she said we should do shots. I was hesitant (Didn't want to get too drunk) but she goes "Come on, I thought you were spontaneous!" She pushed the idea and I even half-joked that I expected her to pay for them, but she said no, we'd split it.

And that story is like an encapsulation of what I find repulsive about women in big cities. Hot girls are allowed to get away with so much and never face any repercussions for their actions. Can you imagine if you, as a guy, pulled that scam with someone?
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#5

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

I think sometimes guys who are into Game worry too much about paying for drinks. Obv don't be a beta and use that as some kind of bait or something... that never works. But on a typical date I'll usually buy 2 rounds to every 1 that the girl buys
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#6

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

Quote: (06-23-2014 05:17 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  

I know that women don't like guys they perceive as being cheap, so if she did have to pay for me do you think that's enough for these heavy IOI's to just stop? I can't think of anything else I could've done to turn her off like that.

You did nearly the same thing that the girl did in your second story further down in the thread. And you are wondering if this is the reason the girl is upset? Come on man, it's NOTHING else other than you shafted her. Yes you didn't know she had to pay for them until she told you, but you also didn't know for certain that the shots were free.

It was probably even salvageable at that point but instead of going after her and telling her what's up and seeing if you could turn it around, you just came on her wondering why she was upset when she told you directly. It's not that often you get a direct explanation from a girl as to why you upset her. She was upset because she was REALLY into you and then she thought you weren't into her and just pretended to be, then purposely left her with the bill.

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#7

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

Quote: (06-24-2014 05:38 AM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

I think sometimes guys who are into Game worry too much about paying for drinks. Obv don't be a beta and use that as some kind of bait or something... that never works. But on a typical date I'll usually buy 2 rounds to every 1 that the girl buys

Exactly.

Guys lose more trim due to not buying drinks than they even realize.

The OP's story is so bad it almost seems trollish.
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#8

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

Yeah, after reading your response you should have picked up the drinks. Four shots shouldn't break the bank and it sounds like she was generally interested in you. You could give her shit/make her buy the next round if you're worried about losing frame. The situation I'm referring to is when a chick is actively pumping you for drinks for her and her friends. It's probably best to err on the side of generosity.
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#9

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

The 'not buying a chick drinks' old 'game' maxim is one of the biggest myths that is struggling to stay relevant.

Secondly, if you're worried about being able to afford to buy a girl a drink, get your ass out of the bar/club and go make some money.

It's not what you do, it's how you do it.

This applies to buying drinks, gifts, or spending any money on chicks. It's all in the delivery and lack of neediness.
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#10

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

Quote: (06-24-2014 02:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

Quote: (06-23-2014 05:17 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  

I know that women don't like guys they perceive as being cheap, so if she did have to pay for me do you think that's enough for these heavy IOI's to just stop? I can't think of anything else I could've done to turn her off like that.

You did nearly the same thing that the girl did in your second story further down in the thread. And you are wondering if this is the reason the girl is upset? Come on man, it's NOTHING else other than you shafted her. Yes you didn't know she had to pay for them until she told you, but you also didn't know for certain that the shots were free.

It was probably even salvageable at that point but instead of going after her and telling her what's up and seeing if you could turn it around, you just came on her wondering why she was upset when she told you directly. It's not that often you get a direct explanation from a girl as to why you upset her. She was upset because she was REALLY into you and then she thought you weren't into her and just pretended to be, then purposely left her with the bill.

In my defense, a single shot is a lot easier to manage than picking up someone's entire bar tab.

But the night wasn't a waste. Almost immediately after she left my friend and I met two French girls and they stayed with us the rest of the night. Sometimes when you think you've missed the bus another one pulls right up.
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#11

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

Quote: (06-24-2014 07:39 PM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

Quote: (06-24-2014 05:38 AM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

I think sometimes guys who are into Game worry too much about paying for drinks. Obv don't be a beta and use that as some kind of bait or something... that never works. But on a typical date I'll usually buy 2 rounds to every 1 that the girl buys

Exactly.

Guys lose more trim due to not buying drinks than they even realize.

The OP's story is so bad it almost seems trollish.

I used to think this until a few years ago when I went out with a friend and 3 girls. We walked into our first bar and almost immediately guys were buying the girls drinks. It got to the point where they had so many offers that the girls would ask my friend and I what we were drinking and just order beers for us if a guy asked them what they were drinking.

As we left the bar one of the girls picked up an orbiter who followed us around the rest of the night. He bought her drinks at every bar, while I hung around her and talked to her and did some Kino escalation. As we parted ways at the end of the night she grabbed my phone and put her number in while the guy who was buying drink after drink for her stood there disappointed before walking home alone. The next morning I got a text from her and she initiated a meet-up. We went to a park by her place, and within 10 minutes she invited me to her apartment where we later sealed the deal. Who knows, maybe she would've slept with me anyway had I bought her drinks and still ignored the other guy even if he never opened his wallet. But buying a drink for a girl has to be positive reinforcement, especially if you know you'll get something later in return (Make out or a bang).

I'll retract my previous statement about not buying girls drinks by saying I have done it before, but only on proper dates. The girl from this weekend was giving me some solid IOIs and perhaps buying her a drink could've resolved the shot situation. Now what if I had bought her a drink and she left anyway? And why would I buy a drink for a girl who snapped at me over a few bucks? Maybe cow towing to her wants would've done me good. But I'm stubborn and don't like to cow tow to strangers. I lost the bang, sure, but I managed to have fun afterwards anyway.
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#12

Buying drinks/Having drinks bought for you

Here's what Roosh says:

Quote:Quote:

Check out this email I got recently about buying girls drinks...

"My buddy started talking to two really cute girls, and I followed
and took the hotter of the two. We talked for a while about random
bullshit, and after about 10 minutes I comment on her drink being
empty. A few minutes later she says, "I would like a vodka soda."

I responded to this girl by saying, "well, that is really nice to
know!" She responded by turning around in her chair.

What's your take on buying drinks for girls? I feel like I stuck to
my guns in this situation, but I also shut myself out with a really
hot girl and screwed things up for my friend. Also, thinking back,
she may have thought I offered her a drink when I commented on her
glass being empty.

So how do you get around just being a drink dispenser but still
stay in the conversation and keep your options open? Offer to buy a
round? I have no problem shelling out a few bucks for a drink for a
girl I'm talking to, but at the same time I feel like once that
psychological threshold has been crossed the girl sees you solely
as a means for free alcohol. "

My Answer:

The reason she told you what she "would like" is because so many
guys before you did not hesitate to pull out their wallet. Here's
three responses you can use in the future when a girl asks you to
buy her a drink:

1. "Do you want me to just write you a check?"

2. "That's cool. And I would like a Johnny Walker Black with only
two or three ice cubes."

3. "Too bad I spent all my money on hookers and drugs last night or
I'd be more than happy to buy you drinks."

Trust me when I say you did not shut yourself out to this girl.
That's her game, plain and simple.

Now imagine if she had a crush on a guy, and they went to a bar
with friends and she asked him to buy her a drink and he said, "Hah
yeah right." Do you think she would turn her back on him? Of course
not, she'd want him more. Either her interest level wasn't high
enough or she just wasn't serious about banging.

If anything she saved you a lot of grief because girls who start
with asking favors 10 minutes into the interaction are guaranteed
to take a lot of work to get into bed.

"So how do you get around just being a drink dispenser but still
stay in the conversation and keep your options open? Offer to buy a
round?"

I experimented with round buying but it's still the same thing as
buying her a drink, something we want to avoid early in the
interaction. What I do now is share my drink with her. I get
something like a screwdriver and offer her some, making a comment
that I can't kill it all.

This sends a totally different message. Now you're SHARING what you
have instead of giving her something outright. Every sip is earned
because you can take it away any time you want. No freebies. Plus
you share the same straw which helps get ready for the next step.

(If she's a feisty one tease her by saying "You don't have any
germs right?" This works well on hot girls.)

My only concern is that I think you valued this girl so much due to
her hotness that bad game may have "leaked out." If she knows
you're the man and you're alpha, she should know better than to ask
you to buy her a drink.

The fact that I never buy a girl a drink before the first date is
becoming more of an issue for me because every girl around my age
(30) expects it. They think I'm incredibly odd that I don't buy
them drinks but they still linger around long enough for me to
continue gaming them. You must stick to your guns because the
moment you fold for a specific girl is the moment she sees you as
weak and not worthy of her vagina.

Before I got to the point where girls were asking me to buy them
drinks, I couldn't even have a conversation with them. I would just
stare at all the girls I wanted to talk and do nothing, hoping that
by some miracle they would come to talk to me first. But they never
did.

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