[cestlavie]

Long story short, I met a beautiful girl at a coffee shop and built what I thought was a solid connection. We spoke effortlessly for nearly 2 hours, I got her number, gave her a hug, and was on my way. I'd also like to note that we talked deeply about sex and other intimate topics during this initial convo.

I called 3 or 4 days later, and we had another good conversation. She giggled a lot, and said I should just text her if I want to hang out.

I text her 2 days later asking about something she was working on when we last spoke, and we continued texting back and forth a few times. She used lots of smilies/winks/etc., but then suddenly stopped replying, so I didn't press on.

I texted her the next day (hinting at doing something together), and she didn't reply a second time. At this point, I had pretty much written her off as a flake, but was very confused, as I thought we had a good connection.

Much to my surprise, 2 days later, she texts me in the evening asking me if I had any plans to get "shit faced" that night. Note that this was also Valentine's day.

My gut told me to ignore her text, at the risk of coming across as a pussy who stands for getting blown off, then immediately jumps at her offer to hang out.

So I ignored her text, and haven't said anything since. Part of me thinks I should have just sucked it up and gone out with her, or at least replied to her. But another part of me says f that, she did the same to me. I'm just worried that I've now blown it for good.

What do you guys think? Right move, or too aggressive? What are your general thoughts on her behavior? Is she playing games, or trying to protect herself?

Any advice on how I should handle it from here?

Any input is appreciated. This one's really confusing me...

[Screwston]

I would of went out with her when she asked if you wanted to get shit faced. You might of been able to smash but now you'll never know...

[Austrian]

I think in this case it was a mistake to not respond to her, because it seems you could have gotten some action that day.
I would say, in a situation like that, respond if she suggests a date, but don´t if it´s just a random text message.

[MiXX]

I would of replied "yup, and my sexy drink partner will be here any minute to join me." In this case, she's likely to "steal" you away. Women love stealing guys from other women. This has worked for me many times. Introduce another woman in the picture, and all of a sudden - the flakes interest rises tremendously.

Fact is, lots of young players (and some veteran players) still go for this text game shit that leads nowhere fast. Fellas, if a woman is interested in you, she will want to hear your voice! I don't care what anybody tells you. This Facebook, Texting bullshit is really just a front for attention whores to get their kicks at your expense. Stop satisfying their egos! Stop it!

So, how can you stop a flake dead on her tracks before she even gets a chance to...well, flake? Simple: Call her!!!

Sure, a woman will respond to text messages, no big deal. However, if you do not remember when was the last time you had a voice conversation with your target, I got sad news for you - she is not interested. Next!

My advice to OP: If you see that she rarely (or ever) answers your calls, and prefers texting you, she's high flake risk - period. Oh yeah, and don't tell her you are not going to text her much, just call her without prior notice. It's not liek you are showing up at her house. Women ask me to text them when I get in town, blah, blah, blah...and when I finally get there, I call her - fuck textin!

Let her play your game, not the other way around.



Mixx

[cestlavie]

Re: MiXX-

I'm definitely a phone guy. I would much rather call a girl than text her. That said, I've called her once, and she did answer. She seems a bit shy, and definitely prefers texting.

What do you think of sending something to the affect of "Sorry I missed your text the other night, I had plans for V day (i.e. I was with another girl)"?

Or should I just pretend like it never happened when I contact her next?

[FretDancer]

(02-16-2011 05:51 PM)cestlavie Wrote:  

Re: MiXX-

I'm definitely a phone guy. I would much rather call a girl than text her. That said, I've called her once, and she did answer. She seems a bit shy, and definitely prefers texting.

What do you think of sending something to the affect of "Sorry I missed your text the other night, I had plans for V day (i.e. I was with another girl)"?

Or should I just pretend like it never happened when I contact her next?

I don't think its necessary to apologize, also giving her a reason of you not replying takes away the mystery and intriguingness (is that even a word.?) from her. I think replying her like nothing happened is not a bad idea.

[MiXX]

(02-16-2011 05:51 PM)cestlavie Wrote:  

What do you think of sending something to the affect of "Sorry I missed your text the other night, I had plans for V day (i.e. I was with another girl)"?

I've always been a firm believer in one simple concept of life: You only get to say "I'm sorry" 2x in your entire lifespan, use them wisely.

Otherwise, never apologize, or say your sorry for anything you do in life, even when you fuck-up. You are human, designed to make mistakes, and learn from those mistakes.

With that said, call her, and tell her you are empathetic that she did not have a drink buddy last night (or whenever this happened), but she should call you more often so you don't book yourself for other events in your life with girlfriends. Aftre all, you are highly sought after - right?

Just like that.

(02-16-2011 05:51 PM)cestlavie Wrote:  

Or should I just pretend like it never happened when I contact her next?

See comments above.


Mixx

[Dash Global]

In this case I would have replied and went out with her that night. Yall didnt know each other and shit does come up, soo I tend to give a 1 time pass for a partial flake that I just meet.

Also she initiated and asked you out the second time, soo thats good. I def wouldnt ask her out again but at the same time I wouldnt be a dick and blow her off.

I wouldnt apologize. Id just shoot her a random text asking whatcha doing if you wanna try one more time to get the fuck.

[Duke Castile]

1st, you have to be ready to bang a girl at 3am or 3pm. When they call you out of the blue like that, you have to reframe the situation so you aren't letting her walk all over you and rewarding her for flaking. As Mixx said, tell her "Well, I do have plans but, I'll make a deal with you, whoever shows up first wins". That ups your perceived value and puts you in the driver's seat.

[BaronStanley]

some girl didnt respond to a couple texts and you mark her as a flaky whore. I don't get. Not responding to texts is normal... isnt it? I ignore bitches texts all the time if im busy or if the text she sent is pointless. Flaking is when you make actual plans and then cancel or dont show.

Do not apologize or acknowledge that you ignored her V-day text. Simply text or call her asking her out. She still wants the cock. They all do.

[cestlavie]

Thanks for the input everyone. As this gets further and further in the past, I'm having more and more regrets that I didn't at least respond that night.

I definitely think I was too aggressive by blowing her off...I should have at least told her I was busy.

Here's an update: I asked her if she wanted to go out for a few drinks last thursday via text (3 days after v-day) without addressing me blowing her off.

No reply...can't say that I'm surprised.

In my perspective, she wants (or at least wanted) me, but had other priorities, and only asked me out when it was convenient for her.

Given the update, any more tips on how to proceed? I should probably just chalk it up to a loss, but the fact she asked me out is feeding my hope.

[MiXX]

I need to give one more piece of advice to OP: never dwell on "what could have been if....."

If you are approaching 2 girls a day like a good player should be as I recommended here:

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-3271.h...ht=2+a+day

Then, you will not be caught giving any girl so much value....move on! GET SOMEONE BETTER TODAY!!!

Mixx

[theIVth]

(02-18-2011 10:37 AM)BaronStanley Wrote:  

some girl didnt respond to a couple texts and you mark her as a flaky whore. I don't get. Not responding to texts is normal... isnt it? I ignore bitches texts all the time if im busy or if the text she sent is pointless. Flaking is when you make actual plans and then cancel or dont show.

Do not apologize or acknowledge that you ignored her V-day text. Simply text or call her asking her out. She still wants the cock. They all do.

I agree with this

Not responding to a text is not flaking. I also agree with Mixx that that texting shit is only good for maintaining a chick after you know she is into you...its not good for trying to build attraction. I would establish phone convos first before I start texting a chick.

Some women are flakey and shit because a lot of times they are just trying to protect their heart because they know if they fall for you too quick and you turn out to not be the right guy or you play them, that would crush their little world.


Not responding to her on Vday was a bad move tho. She probably just hit somebody else up instead. Her hitting you up on Vday should have been a definite clue that she was indeed interested in you. Cause if she wasnt, trust me, she would not have hit you up on of all days, Valentines day.

[Invictus]

Buddy, don't worry about it.

You didn't reply - any NUMBER of reasons for that, in her head. It's not like you've promised your hearts to each other.

A big problem we all have is projecting - project our own version of reality onto others - thinking they perceive situations even in remotely the same way you do.

Here is one piece of advice I try to remember, and when I do remember it, I ALWAYS come out on top: see the relationship for what it is.

You're making this into a big deal by talking about what you're bummed about, as if this thing ever mattered in the first place. She probably doesn't care - I'll bet you she's already fucking another dude, but you piqued her interest, and so she's open to seeing what you can do.

As far as I can tell, you had way too much contact via texting. It should've been fast and simple, as Roosh recommended. She was already interested after the first convo, right? No need to do more of that - if a girl is interested in you after a two hour "effortless" convo, the hamster in her head will spin that into horniness soon enough. You mentioned "intimate" and that you talked about sex - that can be both good and bad. I think if you talk about sex without actually fucking her afterwards, you get LJBF'd - not always, but that's just my hunch.

Do as MiXX said, and wait a day or two. When you've calmed down so you're not as invested in the outcome, give her a ring, tell her you've been busy, but you're going to be doing X and Y Wednesday - she can tag along if she wants to help carry the bags (or some other joke about your relative statuses). When she says yes, do your thing with her, then follow Roosh's protocol.

Café, chit-chat, use that to gauge what type of girl she is, then take her on an adventure with your story-telling. When she wants to know more, move the date to a bar, get a drink, and dare to touch her. If she's already interested in hearing you SPEAK more, touching will be twice as good. As soon as that happens it's just a little tease here and there as you enjoy watching her get herself hornier and hornier for you.