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Flakiness
#1

Flakiness

Perhaps it's just random bad luck, but I seem to have been hit with a streak of flaky hos. 3 dates scheduled in the last 2 weeks, only 1 of which actually happened.

In one case she texted me about 2 hours before saying she had "gotten too much sun" that day and didn't feel well, but offered to meet up later that week and said she would let me know when she was free. Never heard from her. Also didn't call myself, since (1) I'm not going to encourage her behavior and (2) she had already taken the liberty of inviting both a male and female friend along on the cancelled date -- lame! (Chaperones! Aren't we all adults here?)

In the other case I called that day to confirm, left a message, didn't hear from her that night, got an email late the *next* night saying (and I quote!) "i ended up not feeling so good and sleeping alllllll day, and then forgetting to call you. and then forgetting to call you again today..." She promised to call "soon." I sent her a 1-line email back and haven't heard from her since. And all this from a girl who was making out with me 10 minutes after we ran into each other on the dance floor at about 1:30 AM, and had started giving me a BJ that same night but wimped out and started calling herself a "dumb slut"...

Sadly the only date that actually *did* happen was one that wasn't worth the trouble. Shouldn't have bothered with that girl.

Any tips on dealing with the flakiness other than the obvious ones, like not spending too much energy chasing girls who don't treat you with respect?
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#2

Flakiness

You did the right thing with the first girl. Your problem with the second one was that you got physical too early and her slut defense went up. Next time push her off of you and tell her "we should slow down" or "I'm not that easy you know".

I've got the dick so I make the rules.
-Project Pat
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#3

Flakiness

I think often when this happens it's a case of simply misreading the signals and thinking she wanted to date you when she didn't. So you ask her out and she says yes because it's so awkward for most people to say no, but she never wanted it in the first place and finds some way to excuse herself. I think the best attitude to take if she cancels is at least you didn't waste a couple of hours of your time.
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#4

Flakiness

IME flakiness is completely random. the best you can do is run solid game and then don't worry about it.

if it doesn't work out move on. it sucks to put in all that time but what are you gonna do?
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#5

Flakiness

What age are the girls you are dealing with?
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#6

Flakiness

Quote: (08-17-2008 02:46 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

What age are the girls you are dealing with?

#2 had just turned 21, #3 was either 21 or 22 (like I said... waste of time, shouldn't have bothered, I wasn't interested enough to care), #1 was 30 (which made the chaperone thing particularly galling, 4 years older than me!).

In general my target range would be low to mid 20s. Not that I would mind the 17-19's (AOC in TX is 17!), but haven't had the opportunity... perhaps Jenna Bush getting caught drinking underage scared them off. [Image: smile.gif] Apparently I can still pass as a college student though... people will guess that I'm 22...
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#7

Flakiness

Quote: (08-17-2008 05:30 PM)zorgon Wrote:  

Quote: (08-17-2008 02:46 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

What age are the girls you are dealing with?

#2 had just turned 21, #3 was either 21 or 22 (like I said... waste of time, shouldn't have bothered, I wasn't interested enough to care), #1 was 30 (which made the chaperone thing particularly galling, 4 years older than me!).

In general my target range would be low to mid 20s. Not that I would mind the 17-19's (AOC in TX is 17!), but haven't had the opportunity... perhaps Jenna Bush getting caught drinking underage scared them off. [Image: smile.gif] Apparently I can still pass as a college student though... people will guess that I'm 22...
where do you live in Texas?
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#8

Flakiness

Flakes do happen, especially with younger girls. The one calling herself a "dumb slut" was definitely not a shock. I'm surprised you even talked to her again.

I think you are playing these right by not acting needy and hounding them. If they don't make a counteroffer then it's usually done.

So now we have to go backwards. How do you get numbers? And how do you call them and try to get them out?
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#9

Flakiness

IME, you can't really expect call backs/compliance until after you sleep with em. And depending on your performance, that can still be iffy.
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#10

Flakiness

As another poster alluded, there are nearly an infinite amount of variables that can lead to flakes. With the first girl, you didn't give any info about the initial approach/meeting, so it's difficult to determine if there was sufficient attraction. But in all honesty, that doesn't matter. Thing is, a woman will flake on you for ANY NUMBER OF REASONS. I mean, you can have a great and memorable approach, be funny/charming/witty, and create attraction through any number of means, and she will STILL flake on occasion.

With the second girl, I would have tried to seal the deal that night. But her slut defense came up, and you left with a BJ. Not bad. Could have been worse. But did you honestly want to start dating her? I doubt it. I think that you're letting your ego become too involved, and are trying to figure out what YOU did wrong to MAKE them flake. This is the wrong frame of mind to operate from.

Good luck brother, and hopefully this is just an anomoly.

Fortune favors the bold.
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#11

Flakiness

Well whaddya know... out of nowhere #2 called me tonight and invited me over to a beer-tasting party at her place (she makes homemade beer). This could be fun... perhaps we can get a jealousy thing going with other girls? [Image: smile.gif]

Where did I meet them? #1 is from online, but I'm formally giving up on the online thing, it's been a waste of time. #2 and #3, actually, *they* approached me when I was out downtown... I guess I'm just one hot sexy mofo. [Image: badger.gif] (It may be a Texas thing, it definitely never happened in CA. Here it happens to me, oh, I'd say every other time I go out. And not exclusively from ugly girls...)
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#12

Flakiness

Quote: (08-18-2008 10:43 PM)zorgon Wrote:  

Well whaddya know... out of nowhere #2 called me tonight and invited me over to a beer-tasting party at her place (she makes homemade beer). This could be fun... perhaps we can get a jealousy thing going with other girls? [Image: smile.gif]

Where did I meet them? #1 is from online, but I'm formally giving up on the online thing, it's been a waste of time. #2 and #3, actually, *they* approached me when I was out downtown... I guess I'm just one hot sexy mofo. [Image: badger.gif] (It may be a Texas thing, it definitely never happened in CA. Here it happens to me, oh, I'd say every other time I go out. And not exclusively from ugly girls...)

All I can say i that Austin, Houston, and Dallas spoiled me.
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#13

Flakiness

One thing is to make sure you ask for the date, not the number. That's a good way of being able to tell the intentions of a girl, esp since every girl will give out her number to anyone these days. They like the attention.
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