[thegreenman]

This is all while Baron von Punchenberg is teetering back and forth between acceptance and rage. Every now and then he sends me a text, threatening to come to my school and beat me up.

In September, we start discussing having actual sexual intercourse. We talk about our sexual histories, our likes, dislikes, preferences, idiosyncrasies, fantasies, insecurities, and arousal patterns. We talk about it for weeks, preparing ourselves to actually do it.

In early October, we finally do it. It's a mess, but we do it. We're both shaking with nervousness and excitement. We fumble around like 12-year-olds. We play Enigma, then wonder if the neighbors can hear it and know that we're fucking, so we turn it off and play something with less beat. We constantly reassure each other that we're doing fine, that we're both attractive and sexy, and all of that stuff. We do it. Afterwards, we're floating on clouds for the rest of the day.

[thegreenman]

Ok this is getting extremely annoying. It's forcing me to break the post up into smaller and smaller parts. I can barely even get a few paragraphs through at one time now. Is this normal?

[thegreenman]

We do it again. And again. A total of 3 or 4 times. Each time, floating on clouds after.

This brings us to the middle of October. Which is interesting, because that's the time when Cattle Rustler revived this thread, to ask where I was. He posted on October 21st, and it was right around that date (maybe 20th, maybe 22nd), that things started to really fall apart. Rustler is psychic. Listen to that guy, ya'll.

[thegreenman]

Her husband starts really going off his rocker. He's sending me lots of texts now, saying he knows where my school is, that he's coming to fight me, that I should be afraid. He even sends me one text that reads, simply: "FEAR."

This was all with Halloween coming up (and the election!), so the overall atmosphere was already weird and dark, even before adding on the drama.

[thegreenman]

She says she can't take the drama anymore. It's really making her feel horrible. She doesn't want Vlad Punchenko fighting me, or me fighting him, or either of us getting hurt because of her. Nobody wants him dropping Polonium-135 in my tea.

The whole relationship has become fraught with so much drama, and fear, and hiding, and secrecy, and negative emotions, that she can hardly even focus on the things she loves about me. Whenever she thinks of coming to my place, she thinks of hiding, and sneaking, and hoping my coworkers don't see her and gossip and eventually have the gossip reach Ivan DePunchovich.

[thegreenman]

I tell her, just get your own place. Move out. Stop staying with him. If you can't afford a flat, I'll pay for it. Just get out of there!

She says to stop telling her that, because it feels like I'm pressuring her.

And then, he finds out that we fucked. He loses his mind. I don't know exactly how he found out, or what went down. She didn't give me any details. She just says that they came to an agreement: All three of us would delete each other's Wechat contact. No more Wechat. No more threats. No more sending emojis. If we want to contact each other, we can do it by email, but from that point on, no more daily back-and-forth messaging. She thinks he will calm down if we do this.

So we delete each other's Wechat. That was right around Halloween.

[thegreenman]

Since then, we've remained on good terms. We barely communicate, but when we do, it's good. We met one night in November for dinner, with her daughter in tow. We met again on December 1st, when I injured my hand and was at the hospital and needed her to come and translate because she speaks Chinese and I don't. But we haven't seen each other in person since then, and have only sent a handful of emails.

But she still says she loves me. She has a ticket to Moscow for the middle of February. She says she wants to go there and stay for the winter, spring, and summer, and just think about her life and what she wants to do. Punchy is not going with her. She's going to be by herself, maybe get a part-time job, maybe go to some music festivals, and just generally get back in touch with herself, and clear her head, and figure out what she wants to do. And I understand this. I've been in that situation before, like when I was in the Philippines, and had so many girl options, that I didn't know what I wanted, and decided to go back home to sit in my familiar territory, in my familiar forest, and meditate among familiar trees on familiar soil, and that this would help me reconnect with my roots and have more clarity in making far-reaching decisions. I did it back then, so I understand where she's coming from.

[thegreenman]

She was inviting me to come with her, and we were talking about what we'd do in Moscow, and about what kind of villa we were going to get in Siberia for the summer... but now that invitation seems inappropriate. She could still change her mind - she's done it many times already. But for now, I'm not planning on going with her - at least not until she makes a REAL, FIRM DECISION about what she wants.

She needs to pick. Either get divorced, or recommit to being with her controlling, emotionally unstable, violence-prone husband for the rest of her life. Either option, I will support her choice. But she has to choose. I'm obviously hoping for her to be with me... and she knows it. But she's gotta let go of the old in order to welcome the new.

So that's where we stand today.

[thegreenman]

Whew! What a fucking GREAT set of problems. Way better than the ones I had stateside.

USA: "No girls will pay attention to me. How do I get a girl to pay attention to me?"

NOW: "So there's this love triangle thingy going on..."

The situation's not perfect, but it's way better than what I had. Thank you all for helping me get here!

P.S. I have more to post.... Because honestly, I have no idea what to do or where to go from here. But I'm tired, so... tomorrow.

[thegreenman]

And P.P.S. Please get the forum programming fixed. That was extremely annoying!

[thegreenman]

Well anyway, feel free to share whatever you think about my story. As always, I appreciate your advice. Don't hold back. Be totally honest.

[pheonix500000]

(01-11-2017 10:07 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  

Well anyway, feel free to share whatever you think about my story. As always, I appreciate your advice. Don't hold back. Be totally honest.

Dude after everything the forum has done for you, dont just ghost for five six months at a time. How are you supporting yourself now?

[thegreenman]

(01-11-2017 10:11 AM)pheonix500000 Wrote:  

(01-11-2017 10:07 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  

Well anyway, feel free to share whatever you think about my story. As always, I appreciate your advice. Don't hold back. Be totally honest.

Dude after everything the forum has done for you, dont just ghost for five six months at a time. How are you supporting yourself now?

Yea, sorry about that. I kinda didn't want to jinx it by analyzing everything with a bunch of other folks, while the relationship was going on. Looking back, maybe you could have offered some advice that would have helped. Oh well, 20/20, you know.

I've got a job, teaching. It's decent money. Enough to travel and take girls on dates.

[Cattle Rustler]

How are your friends back home doing? Has your family noticed any differences? How are you buddies taking your saga?

[frozen-ace]

Your story sounds pretty crazy! Married Russian woman with a baby who is on the fence about you and a husband who wants to smash your face in...he knows where you work? And live? Sometimes a man can get so consumed and focused on revenge he will stop at nothing to get it, tread carefully.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

While it is good that you had plenty of experiences and had a woman fall in love with you, I gott tell yout this:

Be detached about it, because the facts are this: she has a young child with another man and that man is going to be in your life forever, if you decide to have a relationship with you.
Also it seems that she has in addition opened a business with her husband, so that complicates things as well.

There are no soul mates, but people we fit well together and have a strong connection with.

There are multiple problems with that relationship. Most women are sometimes on the fence about their marriage. If a man comes along who is a better fit, then many married women will consider leaving him for the other. That does not mean however that it is a sound option.

You have to keep in mind that if you want to take her on, then you would be having an entire family and raise another man's daughter with her, be financially responsible for her and the child, also meet her ex for the rest of your life.

Let us assume that you had the massive financial recourses that you don't have right now - even then this would be a major decision - one that you would have to make in your totality and with life-long consequences.

That Russian woman also considers all those things, because if you were a millionaire she likely would have already been living in your place and ditched her husband - monkey branching under such circumstances would be fine.

But since that is unstable for her, she considers all options. Seems also that she tries to make it work with her husband who is rather a very very very low Beta or even Gamma.

Personally I could never advice you to continue that relationship. Tell her to reconnect if she has truly made up her mind. Her leaving the husband should have nothing to do with you. She can go ahead and end her marriage and then you will see whether it works out between you two.

I don't think you are thinking straight when considering to have a LTR or marriage with a single mother, because that is what she will be after the divorce. If there were no child, then this would be not much more than a more solid LTR.

It is also telling that you do not mention the child as if it does not exist.

Your best option is frankly to learn Chinese, find a nice Chinese girl who loves you, build some financial stability and then have a nice life in China being happy with your wife, kids and some pets.

Imagine the same scenario with that Russian woman, constant meetups with her ex-husband, caring for her daughter while knowing that you will never be her real father (this can be even more messy in the future as some kids resent their foster dads).

Either way - at least it is better since you do have options open where none existed before.

[PapayaTapper]

(01-11-2017 01:36 PM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

Personally I could never advice you to continue that relationship. Tell her to reconnect if she has truly made up her mind. Her leaving the husband should have nothing to do with you. She can go ahead and end her marriage and then you will see whether it works out between you two.

(01-11-2017 01:36 PM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

Either way - at least it is better since you do have options open where none existed before.

It's great that you've made SOOO much progress and are having these experiences and all...But at the risk of "harshing your mellow": This is really nothing more than "oneitis" (which is never good) with a chick thats married and has a kid (a second layer of really "not good")

[thegreenman]

(01-11-2017 11:30 AM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  

How are your friends back home doing? Has your family noticed any differences? How are you buddies taking your saga?

Well one of my friends who had similar problems as me in the girl department (although not nearly as bad) now has a steady girlfriend he's been with for a year. She's an immigrant from Chile.

Another good friend remarked that I seem way nicer and more mellow now. He said I used to be a dick. He understands why I was a dick - he would have been a dick too in my situation. But now I'm not longer like that.

[thegreenman]

Zelcorpion:

Well I'm ok with the single mother thing, since we have such a deep connection. I wouldn't do it for just some random chick - but I'd do it for her. I like her daughter, and her daughter likes me. Back in October, we had a "night on the town" together - the three of us - and it went really well. I encouraged the kid to explore like she hadn't before (adults are always trying to control kids, and telling them "no, don't go there"). I did an experiment where I just let her walk wherever she wanted to walk, and she led us into some really interesting places, including a whole square full of dancing, and all three of us had a blast. We get along very well.

I've thought about just marrying a Chinese chick. I've tried to find chicks to do so with. But I have no clue wtf to do. Every time I meet a cute Chinese chick, I discover within 30 seconds that we have NOTHING in common. There is nothing to connect on. She can't even comprehend my world. What am I gonna connect with her on? Rice? Every single date ends in us just sitting there silently with nothing to talk about.

[thegreenman]

Btw ya'll, the site is not letting me post replies that are longer than like 2 paragraphs. Can anyone comment on this?

[Cattle Rustler]

(01-12-2017 11:51 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  

Btw ya'll, the site is not letting me post replies that are longer than like 2 paragraphs. Can anyone comment on this?

It's probably an anti-spam feature. It's happened to me when I write long posts, then I have to cut it to increasingly smaller posts until I can only post one liners.

[Cattle Rustler]

So whats your non-prostitute notch count? 4? You're doing great man, some men don't get more than a notch a year...if even that.

Financial and Sexual instability will make a man do things he never thought he could do, it fucking sucks.

[thegreenman]

(01-12-2017 12:50 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  

So whats your non-prostitute notch count? 4? You're doing great man, some men don't get more than a notch a year...if even that.

Financial and Sexual instability will make a man do things he never thought he could do, it fucking sucks.

Non-prostitute notch count stands at 2, in terms of coitus, and 4 in terms of non-coital sexual relationships.

[booshala]

Am I the only one that visibly cringed when I read this? I understand that OP is the 3000 approaches/no bang guy, so I guess he gets a lot of leeway for that incredible feat. Still, this latest chapter with the married Russian mom reeks of desperate pedestalization, one-itis and then justifying bad decisions.

OP, I feel that you're really getting the kid-gloves treatment because of your incredible desire to improve yourself, but because you asked for honest feedback, here's my take: what you feel is your soulmate is likely one of the first attractive white women with high EQ who has been romantically interested in you. Language barrier notwithstanding, she's probably an emotional chameleon, blending in to different interactions with such ease, that you feel that she "just gets you". I have some experience with this as I've had half a dozen girls tell me the same "soulmate" line, but it was just drawing off of my varied background and inserting personality traits and behaviors that mimicked their in-group traits.

Adding to this is the fact that she has committed adultery while being married to her husband and also being mother to a young child. These are huge red flags of her disloyalty and irresponsibility and probably signs that she's using your interaction as some sort of escape from her world. I don't blame the husband at all for punching you, you were totally in the wrong there. Given your description that he's violence-prone, I'm surprised he didn't really stomp you.

Now that she's out of the country, don't rely on her to make the decision. Do it yourself... I'd be hard pressed to think anyone on this forum would encourage you to move to Russia to be with her. Still, if that's what you're going to do, then at least do it with open eyes and know that all of these issues will work against the chances of success. If you decide not to be with her, I'm sure there will be lots of members here who can chime in with tips and strategies on how to move on after a tough break.

Good luck.

[thegreenman]

So guys, now I really don't know what to do anymore.

I don't really know what I want. I mean, I DO know many things I want... but they all contradict each other.

Back in the states, it was simple. GET. ANY. GIRL.

Get any girl, try any strategy until one works with "works" being defined as resulting in the reduction of the distance between my skin and the skin of an attractive human female to a value of zero.

But now I know that I'm capable of accomplishing that goal.

So... um... what's the problem then?

Well, Danny, we don't currently have a female to do that with.

I know, Danny, but we can do that any time we want.

So why don't we?

Well, WHO are we gonna do it with?

Umm....

........

And that's where it breaks down. I don't know how to choose.

On one hand, I'm looking for my soulmate, my match made in heaven, my twin flame, the person who's been waiting all this time for me, as empty and depressed without me as I've been without her.

But do I have ANY control over whether I meet such a person? If it's a match made by God, then it's not up to me, it's up to Him, and there's nothing I can do but sit around and wait for Him to get off His ass. Who knows when that will be.

On the other hand, I want to bang, fuck, smash pussy, and bend over and ram every girl I possibly can, to make up for all those horrible years of utter waste of my sexuality. I want to pimp it, have a harem, and have the girls all make out with each other while giving me blowjobs all at the same time, while hundreds of men watch me, jealous the way I was jealous, while I lord it over everyone and everything.

And then, somewhere in the middle...