[Nascimento]

I've been reflecting on something recently and thought I'd add it here and see what you guys think.

I've always been skeptical of using the term love because it's so thrown around and shaped in different ways, exaggerated, used improper etc. Especially since 'redpill' and game if you may.

I've seen Heartiste mention before that to be in love is something along the lines of:

Being temporarily reprieved from wondering if you can do any better

I thought about this a lot, and I agree with it and can see how it's relevant.

Here are some thoughts:

- The average guy falls in love for more girls because he has less options, is less abundant, and doesn't work on his game

- A player/guy with game or a guy with options will fall in love less, even if that means he has a lot or little girls in his life, because he knows he can do better as he is constantly self-improving and he is abundant.

However, even a guy with strong game and options will find times where they temporarily stop wondering if they can do better. That's most likely a girl that is higher quality than what he is accustomed to. He just stops thinking about doing better at the moment because he is satisfied with his current girl. Also:

- A guy with many options that 'falls in love' means she is a higher quality girl for him to be 'temporarily reprieved from wondering if he can do better'.

Since all relations between a man and a woman end, although time is varied, the love may end different ways. Either way, a player will move on much easier and quicker, because he has more options (also because he puts in more work) + abundance. He ends that reprieve quicker because he remembers although that was a cool girl, he can improve as he is always improving.

- The more work you put into self-improvement in general, not only game, the easier it will be to move on from girls because you are increasing your value and your options. This means you will fall in love less, but also when you do it will be a higher quality girl, that means it will be more fruitful for you.

When I recall my past experiences recently with girls, I think how there are very few girls that I've felt 'temporary reprieve from wondering if I could do better'. Out of these, only one did I have sex with and have a relationship with, and since feelings without having sex is just infatuation, I think I've only been 'in love' once so far. I've also been with a few girls sexually that I did enjoy their company and had a mini-relationship of some sorts as well, but I wouldn't have been remotely close to being 'in love' because even when I was with them I knew I could do better and get cooler girls.

Reality is you always can. Since no girl is perfect and values are always subjective, there is nothing set in stone. It's just that temporary reprieve.

/End thoughts. How do you guys relate to this?

All in all, a further reason to learn and develop your game. Fall in love less means more control of your emotions, and the rare times you do ensures it's a quality girl. Overtime, you are going to be getting better girls for you and having more satisfying results from your relationships.

[General Stalin]

Such is the burden of game and being a man in the contemporary West. We can all agree here that men are the romancers in relationships. We lay on the passion, we make the advances, we are the ones who initiate and drive courtship. It is only a woman's role to-be romanced; to receive and be impressed by these affections and (hopefully) reciprocate.

Hookup culture has forced us to ditch romance in lieu of game and the fast-paced "have it all" lifestyle.

That being said, I know I have definitely been "in love" by my own personal definition and interpretation. Was it a result of "bluebill"/"beta" mindset of my younger years? Maybe, but thats irrelevant - my mind and my heart were in a state of long-lasting passion, reverence, and deep appreciation of a woman who made my life seemingly more enjoyable than it would have been without her. Made me feel like I was a part of something bigger and more fulfilling than anything I could achieve on my own.

I will agree that "love" is very flaccid and fleeting by nature. It's a mixture of lust and lack of perceived options. I actually have a relatable little story for this:

I started banging this girl off of OKC a month or two ago. Despite being easy and a textbook 20-something middle-class white Western girl, she is actually pretty cool. We get along very well, she's sweet, great in bed and down for whatever I want, has some admirable feminine qualities - makes me food, cleans, etc. Became a regular girl and we have honestly bee dating for a solid couple months now. Being romantic, and not one to ignore a good thing, it's hard not to get a case of 'oneitis' in such a situation - which I did. I got lazy at hitting up other girls and gradually became satisfied with just hanging out with and banging her. Saw myself starting to get comfortable, looking forward to out next get together,falling into a sort of bf/gf type groove. Then it happened.

She said something the other day that pissed me off.

This mini-relationship is now at an impasse. Things have been smooth and enjoyable, but she has made a comment that shows me a side of her that I'm not happy with, and I'm not exactly in the market for a girlfriend so I'm not looking to put up with a hard time. I definitely feel a little bit of dread as I get the idea in my head that "if this girl does not make good on smoothing this over with me then I have to move on." It's been a good couple months, and I know there are literally millions of other options out there, but that comfort sets in and attachment runs it's course. It is damn near inevitable.

I have other girls I'm talking to as I type this and have some dates set up for next week, but I still am thinking about this other girl I have been seeing for the past couple months regardless. Abundance or not, attachment is a thing.

[ddjembe mutombo]

"In Love" and love are two different animals.

Love is a conscious decision you make towards somebody. Being "in love" is a feeling that causes one to disregard logic.

Displaying love to someone is taking them to the airport even though the trip inconveniences you. Being "in love" with someone is taking them to an airport so you can spend time some time with them in the car before they fly off to hook up with someone across the country.

People who marry people they are "in love" with always end up divorcing because the feeling never lasts. However, people who marry people they love often tend to stay married. It is important to understand the real difference between "in love" and loving someone.

[Frostbite]

Just started to catch feels for a girl I've been banging for a few months. She's not the only one either so it's not an abundance issue.

Anyway recently I think she's been getting serious bf proposals from others and gone a bit cold. Feeling a bit shitty about it..Any advice on how to shake the feeling ?

[Foolsgo1d]

Never had it, dont want it. It is something that can be used against you and can drive men to do things they wouldn't do normally.

I am a firm believer in the more fruits you have the bigger the choice. Should one rot you can throw it away.

[Constitution45]

(05-30-2014 04:21 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Such is the burden of game and being a man in the contemporary West. We can all agree here that men are the romancers in relationships. We lay on the passion, we make the advances, we are the ones who initiate and drive courtship. It is only a woman's role to-be romanced; to receive and be impressed by these affections and (hopefully) reciprocate.

Hookup culture has forced us to ditch romance in lieu of game and the fast-paced "have it all" lifestyle.

That being said, I know I have definitely been "in love" by my own personal definition and interpretation. Was it a result of "bluebill"/"beta" mindset of my younger years? Maybe, but thats irrelevant - my mind and my heart were in a state of long-lasting passion, reverence, and deep appreciation of a woman who made my life seemingly more enjoyable than it would have been without her. Made me feel like I was a part of something bigger and more fulfilling than anything I could achieve on my own.

I will agree that "love" is very flaccid and fleeting by nature. It's a mixture of lust and lack of perceived options. I actually have a relatable little story for this:

I started banging this girl off of OKC a month or two ago. Despite being easy and a textbook 20-something middle-class white Western girl, she is actually pretty cool. We get along very well, she's sweet, great in bed and down for whatever I want, has some admirable feminine qualities - makes me food, cleans, etc. Became a regular girl and we have honestly bee dating for a solid couple months now. Being romantic, and not one to ignore a good thing, it's hard not to get a case of 'oneitis' in such a situation - which I did. I got lazy at hitting up other girls and gradually became satisfied with just hanging out with and banging her. Saw myself starting to get comfortable, looking forward to out next get together,falling into a sort of bf/gf type groove. Then it happened.

She said something the other day that pissed me off.

This mini-relationship is now at an impasse. Things have been smooth and enjoyable, but she has made a comment that shows me a side of her that I'm not happy with, and I'm not exactly in the market for a girlfriend so I'm not looking to put up with a hard time. I definitely feel a little bit of dread as I get the idea in my head that "if this girl does not make good on smoothing this over with me then I have to move on." It's been a good couple months, and I know there are literally millions of other options out there, but that comfort sets in and attachment runs it's course. It is damn near inevitable.

I have other girls I'm talking to as I type this and have some dates set up for next week, but I still am thinking about this other girl I have been seeing for the past couple months regardless. Abundance or not, attachment is a thing.

True, by no means do I have romantic notions on women; I have experienced the brutality of hypergamy first hand. When I saw all the attractive sweet girls hooking up with drug dealers, kind of popped the bubble of romance that I ever had.

However I would be more than happy to be in a monogamous relationship with a high value woman; and just focus my energy on my ambitions and goals. Rather than having to go for long periods of distraction, gaming multiple plates, or the ONS. After living abroad, the novelty of Western women has just worn off, even if they are good looking. I have spun plates and tried lots of different women. By all means its not a bad life and has improved my life in other aspects. But it just gets boring.

From speaking to other men, who are by no means beta chumps; I gain the same impression. With hook up culture, people become atomic, relationships between materialist, and no longer about a deep connection. Hypergamy and sexual attraction is primitive, although the traditional marriage and monogamous way of life; force both men and women to discover their natures and act in accordance.

[CaP7]

Someone on here just said something along the lines of, "being in love is the equivalent of thinking a girl is better than you, or better than what you can get."

Wish I could remember who it was because it struck a chord with me. In past relationships, this was definitely an issue for me. Now that I know a lot more about the true nature of women, those feelings never last long.

[ddjembe mutombo]

(05-31-2014 05:44 AM)Frostbite Wrote:  

Just started to catch feels for a girl I've been banging for a few months. She's not the only one either so it's not an abundance issue.

Anyway recently I think she's been getting serious bf proposals from others and gone a bit cold. Feeling a bit shitty about it..Any advice on how to shake the feeling ?

If they are that strong the lock her down to see how it goes. It will be a lifestyle change, but change is what makes life interesting and exciting. If you don't like it then you can always go back to the old ways. Nothing wrong with sampling.

(05-31-2014 11:07 AM)CaP7 Wrote:  

Someone on here just said something along the lines of, "being in love is the equivalent of thinking a girl is better than you, or better than what you can get."

Wish I could remember who it was because it struck a chord with me. In past relationships, this was definitely an issue for me. Now that I know a lot more about the true nature of women, those feelings never last long.

I said something along those lines in another thread. "in love" is equivalent to putting someone on a pedestal. You will justify their actions when they walk all over you because you view them as a higher person. It's always funny when I get to explain to girls why I have never been "in love" with them. I may have shown acts of love towards them, but I will never view a girl as higher value than my self. I just work too damn hard on myself to accept someone who doesn't as being of higher value.

[Jdubz]

delete

[Catch 22]

Love is such a definition-less word. You can truly love lots of different women at the same time, which makes it much easier to game them. They eat it up more because it's real, at least in the moment.

I'm surprised we don't have more metrics for game than notches and flags. Why not non-MILF women who buy you expensive dinners? Women who say I love you? Women who introduce you to their parents? Etc. All good and rewarding challenges.

[polymath]

Love is a really good feeling, but you can't have it for long if you're a simpering bitch toward the girl. I've been there. It disappears unless you also give her what she wants, which I think is usually a strong, successful man who knows how to handle himself with a romantic partner.

[Vitriol]

(05-31-2014 07:36 AM)Constitution45 Wrote:  

True, by no means do I have romantic notions on women; I have experienced the brutality of hypergamy first hand. When I saw all the attractive sweet girls hooking up with drug dealers, kind of popped the bubble of romance that I ever had.

This was basically my high school education. I never thought too much of it until I found Roissy's site about 5 or 6 years ago.

It's kind of a mindfuck when you're a teenager following all the rules and none of the girls want to fuck you, but some loser who is going to end up working in the lumber yard after high school is getting all that tight young pussy because he does a lot of drugs and is involved in that culture.

As I've gotten older, I realize that those guys start to have shit lives when they enter adulthood, and they don't have the kinds of staying power guys on this forum will, but it makes you disregard all of the conventional wisdom about how you should approach women.

[Cobra]

Wasn't Elliot Rodger also "in love" with himself?!

Oh yeah he was; BUT he must not have "loved" himself since he decided to blow his own brains out.

This to me demonstrates the difference, well, somewhat.

There's something to be said about truly loving yourself. I'm on that journey right now.

It's a unique feeling that once you can grasp it, it becomes easier to game women. And they in turn believe it's love as a function of their own hamster.

Otherwise I guess you're just a beta whose hamster is taking the lead from the girl's hamster and buying into her notions of love rather than your own.

I could keep going but these are my key thoughts.