[kaotic]

A Tinder girl came over last night, unfortunately I just wasn't into her, so no bang and just watched the new 300 and had a few beers, everything just.....seemed off.

But it got me thinking and evaluating what I've got, what I need to improve, and this deep seeded nagging feeling I had about my life. As if i'm robbing myself of potential

TL; DR Kaotic
-late twenties, Dark Brown,
-Indian/Pakistani (no IRT)
-5'8"ish (no napoleon syndrome)
-155lbs with Athletic body (not jacked, but visible growth, plenty of work needed) (4-5 days a week gym)
-Bachelors
-Around 50kish annual income (2 jobs, 7 days a week) Software Inside Sales & Minor Support 9-5, Manage a Skateshop on the weekends (hobby)
-Logistics: rent a room from a bachelor Uncle

I've always been a funny assholish kind of guy, which has gotten me bangs. Everything changed 2 years ago after I got my balls back and dumped my ex. I discovered ROK, RVF, and various other blogs by pure accident.

I swallowed the red pill last year and began my journey, and brothers, it's been brutal but rewarding:

-Currently this year I've gotten 14 bangs (75%+ from Tinder, OKC, POF).
-I've gained muscle, people have complimented me, I rock a pretty damn good bear that the ladies like
-I have a main girl whose a HB 8 that is pretty submissive to my needs and I haven't caught feelings for, I still have side girls, but its really random.
-I've felt more confident than ever before, I've dealt good with shit tests, and I'm slowly but surely wading through all the bs that girls throw at you.

A Recollection And Doubt:

After last nights Tinder failure (she was a 5.5 at most, but actually cool to talk to) it got me thinking. Can't I look for better ? Don't I DESERVE better ? What am I doing wrong ?

Job: To me I feel like my 9-5 SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME, yet I'm enslaved to student loans (buyers remorse) and a brand new car payment (I can always downgrade). I honestly find it hard to get motivated to apply and find a new job (yet here I am day dreaming about making more money). My weekend job is fun and there are always HB's I just never hit them up, could be a great resource but Im not sure about shitting where you eat.

Game: The BIGGEST crutch I've had with game is ONLINE dating. Which is the majority of my dates and bangs. Tinder OKC POF you know the rest. My text game is pretty decent, my date game and logistics are pretty solid, I usually have a great 1st date bang conversion, because I already know there are plenty of IOI's and I have SMV with them. The problem is that I've never really day gamed in my life (up at 7, work 9-5, 5-7gym, cook, sleep). Night game is okay, but usually I'm going out to have fun with my boys and don't give a fuck.

Red Pill Life: I've noticed I've definitely grown Alpha traits in saying no to things, making my own choices, being decisive at the right times, and taking control of a woman. However maintain frame on online has become more frustrating, I feel like I'm losing control of conversations. My buddy and I are in the early stages of trying to create a weapons accessory online business (this is a very long term beginning, since we're both busy with work).

Awakening:
When it comes down to it, I honestly look back at myself 2 years ago realized how much of a fucking pussy I was, and I look at myself now and pat myself the back, but with a swift kick in my ass reminded myself there is so much to do.

Thoughts:
I think my most important focus now is a change in careers or jobs. I fear that I'm falling behind my counterparts monetarily for my age. I feel like I don't have a passion for anything, other than selling something on my own (I get a rush from that). BUT I fear failure, I fear the loss of money and being broke. I feel like this job is a safety net and a shackle at the same time.

What would you recommend, advice, links, books?

Secondary to career and money is women. DAYGAMING/SOBERGAMING specifically, I'm a night owl. I don't get weekends off so it's hard. If there's one thing, I haven't had much of a sting of rejection face to face.

What would be a good starting point for someone in position ?

I just don't feel that fire and adrenaline in my gut. How do you guys GET and STAY motivated in regards to work and girls ?

I'd like to thank the majors in the forum for the sound advice I've gotten so far. Also, I tip my hat to all the ROK contributors.

[heavy]

I can relate to much of this (job safety net, rejection and fear failure, career). I'm interested in the feedback you get.

[Abnormal]

Thanks for sharing!

Begin by reading this book that's been recommended here plenty of times:

The Millionaire Fastlane: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime! by MJ DeMarco

[TheWastelander]

Take the plunge with the business you guys are starting. There's no reward without risk and you only live once. I'm in a similar situation with my current job and trying to break out of it. I'm convinced this 9-5 cubicle crap is bad for my physical and mental well-being.

By the way, are you selling firearms accessories?

[kaotic]

(05-14-2014 04:27 PM)TheWastelander Wrote:  

Take the plunge with the business you guys are starting. There's no reward without risk and you only live once. I'm in a similar situation with my current job and trying to break out of it. I'm convinced this 9-5 cubicle crap is bad for my physical and mental well-being.

By the way, are you selling firearms accessories?

Our goal is to provide firearms accessories, a little more tough here in California.

[TheWastelander]

(05-14-2014 04:31 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(05-14-2014 04:27 PM)TheWastelander Wrote:  

Take the plunge with the business you guys are starting. There's no reward without risk and you only live once. I'm in a similar situation with my current job and trying to break out of it. I'm convinced this 9-5 cubicle crap is bad for my physical and mental well-being.

By the way, are you selling firearms accessories?

Our goal is to provide firearms accessories, a little more tough here in California.

Yeah, CA's gun laws are rough. Have you guys thought about inventing or buying a unique accessory or product to really push?

There are a lot of companies out there selling firearms accessories at the moment.

[Christian McQueen]

@OP:

A few things stand out to me reading your post.

Here's my advice:

1. Put the brakes on online dating. This is why I believe it's fine for supplementing your dating life, but shouldn't BE your dating life.

Online dating is a side dish, not the main.

Start approaching. 1 real life approach everyday. You'll find out nothing bad will happen.

2. Take some job risks. You sound miserable and office jobs have a way of sucking a man's soul away. Check your finances, see what you can do to minimize your living expenses, such as the car, and invest in YOUR business.

You can spend your life building someone else's dream or spend it building your own.

The choice is yours.

[WD-40]

(05-14-2014 03:07 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

a brand new Sonata car payment (I can always downgrade).

You should really reconsider the new car, IMO. It's a lot of money to be shelling out for a ride.

If you can't afford to pay cash for a car twice over, it's a car you can't afford.

[kaotic]

Quote:

Yeah, CA's gun laws are rough. Have you guys thought about inventing or buying a unique accessory or product to really push?

There are a lot of companies out there selling firearms accessories at the moment.

Nothing, yet in the preliminary stages of forming an LLC, acquiring brand name sites, social media, graphics. We still have yet to brainstorm, possibly trying to push maybe 80% lowers, or DIY kits, lots of ideas being thrown around.

Quote:

@OP:

A few things stand out to me reading your post.

Here's my advice:

1. Put the brakes on online dating. This is why I believe it's fine for supplementing your dating life, but shouldn't BE your dating life.

Online dating is a side dish, not the main.

Start approaching. 1 real life approach everyday. You'll find out nothing bad will happen.

2. Take some job risks. You sound miserable and office jobs have a way of sucking a man's soul away. Check your finances, see what you can do to minimize your living expenses, such as the car, and invest in YOUR business.

You can spend your life building someone else's dream or spend it building your own.

The choice is yours.

You're absolutely right, I need to quit cold turkey man, it's tough. I'm going to start applying for new jobs today. I appreciate the input I look up to you, roosh, soup, and all the other major hammers here.

Quote:

You should really reconsider the new car, IMO. It's a lot of money to be shelling out for a ride.

If you can't afford to pay cash for a car twice over, it's a car you can't afford.

I'll of had it for 3 years this sept. already, 4 year loan, so I'm half way done paying it off, not sure if i should trade it in for something cheaper, or just keep saving and pay it all off.

[Vaun]

try and make your expenses half of what you bring in from the 9-5. Bank that money, or sell the new car. Younger guys are always seduced by new cars. I was. Software sales is a very lucrative industry, with a little experience, 1-3 yrs, you could be making over $100K easy. CA is full of those jobs, even in the outlier cities.

Skate shop? A skateboard shop? Thats a fun side gig, and I love skate betties and the social life in the skate scene, but if its eating into your job search and side gig maybe you should revaluate it.

McQueens advice is good about online dating. Its a crutch, and mostly a time and money suck, and the buyers remorse is there for me 95% of the time. My success and motivation is much higher when I meet a girl in person I am certain I want to pursue. Get out there and meet them in person.

[Ternarydemonite]

(05-14-2014 03:07 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

...
To me I feel like my 9-5 cubicle job is SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME, yet I'm enslaved to student loans (buyers remorse) and a brand new Sonata car payment (I can always downgrade).
...
BIGGEST crutch I've had with game is ONLINE dating. Which is the majority of my dates and bangs.
...
When it comes down to it, I honestly look back at myself 2 years ago realized how much of a fucking pussy I was,
...
I think my most important focus now is a change in careers or jobs.

Pretty much on the same boat as you men. I am 30, ingested the red pill a year ago.

I have finally accepted that I don't give a crap about my profession anymore (laywer). I thought of auto-nuking my career to force myself into having the balls to do something with my life. However, that would be financially irresponisble.

I am at peace with the fact that my current 9-5 cubicle job will not be my future. I will exit the rat race. By now I only make the minimum amount of work not to get fired, and if my boss randomnly fired me today I would actually laugh and thank him.

I am reading some self-help books and I have given myself this year to make a plan for my life. No more education, no new cars or expensive vacations, while saving as much as I can. The main challenge will be finding a passion that can be translated into financial viability.

[Teddykgb]

Delete all of your online dating accounts and promise yourself not to re open them until you can get at least one cold approach day game bang.

I keep falling into the same crutch with online dating. Next thing you know I've spent half the day away mass messaging "you look like trouble" texts all over tinder.

Nothing is fucking better than the feeling of hitting a solid day approach.

[Travesty]

It speaks volumes you banged 14 chicks this year but still feel unsatisfied with your dating life. Guys say what's the difference between an online bang vs. a real life one it is still a bang.

I find chicks you approach and successfully hit it off with in real life are usually less reserved, less weird, and more fun than the average online chick as well. There is something natural about first meeting a stranger and having instant chemistry without a bullshit screen in the way and jumping through "tight" text game hoops.

There is also something much less memorable in my opinion about online bangs vs. meeting by chance in person.

As for the skateshop, it is just a side gig then yeah go for chicks who cares it isn't your main source of income as long as you are there.

You do need to find motivation financially though. Just imagine being ten years older and having the same financial picture and job as you do now. It would be miserable.

It may be a point where you need to focus more on your life then on Game specifically.

You have to ask yourself what will banging another 14 online chicks for the second half of this year do for you? It sounds like it is starting to become a case of diminishing returns.

Two things I took away from WestCoast before he left the forum that I believe more and more each day as I get older:

Fix your life first.

Women are just entertainment.

[simonafc]

I was pretty unhappy until i had real friends come into my life.

as many people as i was going through, it was hard to find a good person to just
give my time to. At the end of the day, that friend basically became my best friend.

its just being more happy with yourself and your life.

[kaotic]

Quote:

I keep falling into the same crutch with online dating. Next thing you know I've spent half the day away mass messaging "you look like trouble" texts all over tinder.

Nothing is fucking better than the feeling of hitting a solid day approach.

Completely fucking guilty of this, I was just doing this, the entire weekend at work. P.S. I always get a reply with that line.


Travesty:

Quote:

It may be a point where you need to focus more on your life then on Game specifically.

You have to ask yourself what will banging another 14 online chicks for the second half of this year do for you? It sounds like it is starting to become a case of diminishing returns.

Two things I took away from WestCoast before he left the forum that I believe more and more each day as I get older:

Fix your life first.

Women are just entertainment.

^^THIS....yeah I think I'm gonna get rid of the apps, its just hard as fuck trying to pick up girls when I hardly have spare time between work and the gym. But I gotta make myself do it.

@simonfac I've got friends, and a close knit group band of brothers, my issues are satisfaction in gaming women. However, surrounding myself with like minded individuals is ideal.