[mikeraw]

So I've been juggling two GFs for a few weeks now while fooling around with others on the side. On Saturday April 25 I walked into an art event at #1's museum and a girl I'd been messaging with on Tinder recognized me as I approached a group of girls and mentioned to a friend of hers that she was going to go out with me that coming Monday.

Her friend said: "That's impossible, that's #1's BF"

To which Tinder girl replied by showing her screenshots of our conversations from Tinder and from her phone.

Needless to say, the friend forwarded the screenshots to #1 and I was pretty much done... except that I denied denied denied everything... I blamed everything on a buddy that was pretending to be me and he played along... I insisted on this to the point that on Sunday, May 4 she had pretty much convinced herself that I was not lying but wanted me to take some measures so that she could trust me again, among which was access to my email and facebook.

I'm pretty good at cleaning after myself so I went ahead and did that... little did I remember that I had emailed GF #2 from my gmail a few times and she saw that right away.

Well, now I can't deny deny deny, so I fessed up and told #1 that I hooked up with #2 once after we'd had a big fight and #1 was going out of town and so was I.

Since then, I've done the whole Beta thing of sending flowers, texting with no reply, calling and leaving voice messages, etc...

Funny thing is that prior to the April 25 debacle, I'd decided that having two GFs was exhausting and I was just going to stick with #1 and play on the side whenever possible.

QUESTION:

Is there a way to get back with #1 now?

[simonafc]

Should really just cut your losses and move on. Or instead of being beta and defending yourself, you should have accepted the idea your going with 2 girls and let them both know before they found out themselves.

Basically, you let them find out which is worse, as opposed to if you told them which gave them a choice. Regardless of consequences.

[Dalaran1991]

damage control takes way much more effort than finding another girl DTF. I say cut it and move on. You will just shame yourself in the process and will end up hating yourself for it.

Also, what's wrong with admitting that you are dating multiple girls? This is why the term GF is so frowned upon on these forums. It puts you in certain obligations that handicap you

[Onto]

The instinct is to send flowers, chocalates, etc. and beg for forgiveness.

Paradoxically, if you had just responed with, "Yeah, so? She's cute and I wanted to get to know her better", or something like that, she would've been shocked, yelled, etc. but if you kept your cool about it all and act indifferent to it all, I wouldn't be surprised if after a few days she would be crawling back to you, trying to "Win" you.

I could be wrong about her coming back, but I think that's always the way to play it anyways.

[kaotic]

(05-07-2014 08:38 AM)mikeraw Wrote:  

QUESTION:

Is there a way to get back with #1 now?

NO. Cut your losses and move on. She'll never trust you again, if anything this is an open invite for her to go ride the cock carousel.

Find another girl, way to much effort to recover, secondly you're making it seem like this is the only girl in the world right now.

[Walderschmidt]

Doing the whole beta schtick won't win #1 back anytime soon - it's an admission of guilt and each flower you send your girlfriend is reminder that you cheated on her and apologized for it.

Wald

[Texas_Tryhard]

Dude, just give it up. It sounds like you have #2 still and are doing fine scooping others, what's the huge loss?

There's no way you can get #1 back. And even if you did, she'd be DTF any guy who was on her radar, and she'd be perfectly justified in doing so, so it's not a real relationship anyway.

Your denying was a great idea. Where you messed up was kowtowing to her demands about accessing your email and facebook. You could have strung this along for a lot longer if you hadn't accepted this.

Next time (if you ever mess up your juggling again), just tell her that she's not going to get access. She'll say "Why? What are you trying to hide?". Reply: "I don't believe in a relationship without trust. If you don't trust me anymore, then there's no point continuing this relationship".

See how that flips the script? Now she's the one being ridiculous for demanding all your passwords. Since, at that moment, you've denied all allegations, and she's accepted that "truth" , you've done nothing wrong and now she's doing something wrong. You've just won.

Personally I wouldn't bother though. Too much drama. Next time avoid defining the relationship at all and then she can't put you on blast for doing your own thing on your own time.

[Party Pooper]

You have to know when you're playing with several different women that one day they will find out. It's going to end sooner or later.

You just have to realise this is going to happen and know that you will lose a few women now and then. Just have enough women on the side as a back up and you're fine.

[mikeraw]

Thanks all for your replies!

I knew the party had to end some day but I was looking forward to staying with #1.

Too bad she works in a museum... going to those events is like shooting fish in a barrel. She'll probably badmouth me to the point that all the girls will know I'm a jerk.

I know I totally fucked up in giving her access to my accounts, but I could've sworn I had deleted all incriminating info from all of them!!!!! hahahahah

[Walderschmidt]

(05-07-2014 12:35 PM)mikeraw Wrote:  

Thanks all for your replies!

I knew the party had to end some day but I was looking forward to staying with #1.

Too bad she works in a museum... going to those events is like shooting fish in a barrel. She'll probably badmouth me to the point that all the girls will know I'm a jerk.

I know I totally fucked up in giving her access to my accounts, but I could've sworn I had deleted all incriminating info from all of them!!!!! hahahahah

Live and learn, man.

Someday soon you'll be with a prettier, more pleasant girl, and you'll be glad you learned this lesson now instead of with her.

Wald

[kaotic]

(05-07-2014 12:35 PM)mikeraw Wrote:  

Thanks all for your replies!

I knew the party had to end some day but I was looking forward to staying with #1.

Too bad she works in a museum... going to those events is like shooting fish in a barrel. She'll probably badmouth me to the point that all the girls will know I'm a jerk.

I know I totally fucked up in giving her access to my accounts, but I could've sworn I had deleted all incriminating info from all of them!!!!! hahahahah

No such thing as bad publicity !

[Onto]

(05-07-2014 12:35 PM)mikeraw Wrote:  

I know I totally fucked up in giving her access to my accounts, but I could've sworn I had deleted all incriminating info from all of them!!!!! hahahahah

There is a good lesson here. Shakespeare said, "The truth will out"

Which means, everyone has an unconscious desire to tell the truth about themselves. From the guy who leaves the hotel matchbook in his pocket, to the serial killer who's blatantly calling the cops and sending them clues.

If people can't consciously tell the truth they will do it unconsciously. So be on alert for what others are telling you and what you are telling the others.

[WestIndianArchie]

Newb post, please move