[Blackliter]

Awww Damn. I need some help/motivation from you fellow rooshers, to start the 100 approaches.

I literally almost started 3 times this week, but chickened out at the last second. Where I'm at (location), it's like shooting fish in a barrel for most of you on this board. I currently have -2 game on a scale of 1 to 10, so its still intimidating for me.

How do I get over the problem of having a soft/quiet voice? I hate when I have to repeat myself.

Most of all I just need to be told to do the approaches

[Dusty]

You probably speak quietly because deep down you don't feel worthy of being heard. So work on your confidence and assertiveness.

Join Toastmasters and get used to being the center of attention and speaking up to be heard.

As far as approaching, perhaps try small steps. Don't bite off more than you can chew. Maybe start by saying 'hi,' or 'nice day' or something similar. Then after doing a few of those add to it by saying something like 'nice day. Good thing you have those cool sunglasses.' Then after you do some of those, add more to your approaches. Building blocks. You get the idea.

[Travesty]

Make a hard restriction on yourself.

You can't go home until you make 1 approach.

Asking for directions with a large intro ramble is an easy start and is about as innconent as you can get while building a solid interaction if your intro ramble is good.

[General Mayhem]

Start with what I call bitch-out approaches.

I call it a bitch-out approach because you don't stop to talk, the idea is to say something in passing. All it has to be is a short quip.

For example, if you are in the gym and a girl is in your orbit make sure you say something before you leave her area. Focus on saying just one like. So picture racking your weights, turning around and when you walk bye, make sure she notices you and say, "That looks too easy for you" with a smirk. I started doing this because I hate gaming in the gym and I like working out, but some girls are too hot to ignore.

I have also used this in bars that are really crowded.

A lot of times the girls will find me later.

The point is to build your confidence.

Good Luck.

[NothingIsRealLife]

I find that the hardest approach is the first one. After the first 3 approaches, it gets immensely easier for me. If I do 15 approaches, the first 3 approach anxieties are harder to get over than the other 12 combined.

tl;dr Focus on just doing 1 approach

[Virtus]

and don't fap until you do these 100

[AneroidOcean]

(03-10-2014 01:38 PM)Blackliter Wrote:  

Awww Damn. I need some help/motivation from you fellow rooshers, to start the 100 approaches.

I literally almost started 3 times this week, but chickened out at the last second. Where I'm at (location), it's like shooting fish in a barrel for most of you on this board. I currently have -2 game on a scale of 1 to 10, so its still intimidating for me.

How do I get over the problem of having a soft/quiet voice? I hate when I have to repeat myself.

Most of all I just need to be told to do the approaches

You know who hates you having to repeat yourself more than you?

EVERYONE ELSE.

It sounds like you have a fundamental shyness/self-worth problem, not just a game problem. Is there ANYONE that you speak more loudly to? Start slightly outside your comfort zone and work your way up.

Say you can only speak loudly to your parents or close family. Speak up to the mailman, speak up to the starbucks worker who you regularly buy coffee from, etc... anyone that you have some established relationship/comfort with. Then work your way up to strangers.

You gotta really take it to heart that you're actually disrespecting yourself AND others by not speaking up. People would VASTLY prefer having their time wasted by someone they can hear and who has a modicum of confidence compared to someone they can't hear and just REEKS of insecurity.

Also, you're in the same boat as some of the people on this board who approach often. None of them is 100% confident in every single approach they have. Some of them like Gio make and post about their real bad failures where they shot themselves in the foot. Realize that in order to have success you're going to have to fail a LOT but that failure is only a big deal IN YOUR HEAD.

Just try to speak up and have mini conversations (even exchanging a "hi" and a smile can start helping you on your path) and work your way up.

[JosephdeMaistre]

I'm working on my first few approaches, and I think it gets easier with each one. I try to do it when it feels most natural. I tend to just blurt out whatever is on my mind, but in this case, I've had to size them up, and really plan a line to use.

Go out with a buddy and you can both give it a shot, compare results, see what worked and what didn't.

[Cobra]

Don't wait for things to feel natural. Good things DON'T come to those who wait.

Instead, realize that no one is likely going to approach that girl that day in the way you are. This is true because most people can't muster up courage. You're not MOST people. You have courage. That's why you're here. Make their day and feel good about it. There are many posts here on how to improve yourself to the point that you can do that. Feel free to read mine too.

[Blackliter]

(03-11-2014 08:38 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

Don't wait for things to feel natural. Good things DON'T come to those who wait.

Instead, realize that no one is likely going to approach that girl that day in the way you are. This is true because most people can't muster up courage. You're not MOST people. You have courage. That's why you're here. Make their day and feel good about it. There are many posts here on how to improve yourself to the point that you can do that. Feel free to read mine too.

Read your story, good stuff. Can't believe you pulled it off at such an older age, props. I'm currently at the right after Navy part of your story. Trying to get this all done before I'm married...

[Cobra]

(03-12-2014 11:16 PM)Blackliter Wrote:  

(03-11-2014 08:38 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

Don't wait for things to feel natural. Good things DON'T come to those who wait.

Instead, realize that no one is likely going to approach that girl that day in the way you are. This is true because most people can't muster up courage. You're not MOST people. You have courage. That's why you're here. Make their day and feel good about it. There are many posts here on how to improve yourself to the point that you can do that. Feel free to read mine too.

Read your story, good stuff. Can't believe you pulled it off at such an older age, props. I'm currently at the right after Navy part of your story. Trying to get this all done before I'm married...

You already decided to get married? How many relationships have you been in so far? Be honest and we can help you.

Seems like marriage is a given for you. I used to think the same way. Find a reason why and address it based on your own goals as a man. There may be some cultural underpinnings to this.

If you ALREADY have the types of questions and concerns you’re posting here, marriage is a horrible idea.

I think you need to alleviate these concerns first before you even decide to step into any type of relationship with a woman. Otherwise it will take the same toll on you as it has taken on me.

[Blackliter]

(03-13-2014 09:51 AM)Cobra Wrote:  

I think you need to alleviate these concerns first before you even decide to step into any type of relationship with a woman. Otherwise it will take the same toll on you as it has taken on me.

I'm really bad at miscommunication. I'm not even close to marriage, probably 5+ years away. I just meant I see the same situation happening to me, and I'm trying to swallow the red pill before I get to that point.

On another note, I approached the first 2 girls today. It was rough, 1 of them didn't even respond just made eye contact and walked away. 2nd was in a classroom and simply ignored as well. (I guess not that bad, but I'm not used to it) Took notes though and now I know to make it easier for the girl to respond. Can't just make a stupid statement.

[Parlay44]

Don't try to pick up. Just open girls and have a simple conversation. End it with "Nice talking to you". When you're not used to interacting with women it's very overwhelming. Women project emotions both good and bad and you pick up on it. In the same way you have to project confidence at them and they'll pick up on it. Women are like mirrors. They'll reflect back whatever you throw at them. If you spit some good game and are cocky and funny they'll roll with it eagerly aniticipating what you'll say or do next. Just have fun with it.

[Skye]

Don't ease yourself into it, shock your system. Roosh is a huge advocate, for good reason, of just going for it. Taking baby steps to confidence is like slowly getting in a cold pool or pulling off a bandaid. To use a poker metaphor; go all in.

[Cobra]

To piggyback off of some of the posts above, you need to alleviate outcome dependency.

When you don't care what happens, it's easier to deal with.

For example, when you have a conversation with a girl, picture yourself NOT being with her; in your head picture something you enjoy that doesn't DEPEND on her being in your life.

I need to practice what I preach more myself but when I have had good actionable conversations with women, I was always somewhere deeper within myself not within her.

[Blackliter]

Made a couple more approaches. Unfortunately nothing happened since the girls asked me to repeat myself almost every approached. killed the conversation.

working to fix that asap...

[Cobra]

Can you be more specific?

I mean, type of girl, venue, her body language, yours, and what you and her said.

Do you lift? Even twice a week in the gym can make a difference.

[Blackliter]

(03-15-2014 10:51 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

Can you be more specific?
I mean, type of girl, venue, her body language, yours, and what you and her said.
Do you lift? Even twice a week in the gym can make a difference.

Bar with pool tables, bit crowded by the bar. I approached a group of girls with a wingman who didn't say much though the girls were eyeing him and me. Me and friend dress sharp so that helps. They were definitely open, its just they asked "what did you say" multiple times, till they turned/partially I gave up. college girls, 1 white, 2 ethnic.

Another approach different venue (classier place with a touch of localness), girl was eyeing my wingman and he wasn't doing anything so I went up and said "hey" etc. she was open again, but again had to repeat myself a couple times till I ran out of things to say after small chit-chat. lost momentum after repeating myself.

Throughout the night wingman also asked me to repeat myself a couple times.

I gave up lifting 2 months ago because I wasn't eating enough, vegetarian. I gained maybe 3lbs, but was using the starting strength program: http://startingstrength.wikia.com/wiki/T...r_Programs

[Cobra]

(03-16-2014 01:24 AM)Blackliter Wrote:  

(03-15-2014 10:51 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

Can you be more specific?
I mean, type of girl, venue, her body language, yours, and what you and her said.
Do you lift? Even twice a week in the gym can make a difference.

Bar with pool tables, bit crowded by the bar. I approached a group of girls with a wingman who didn't say much though the girls were eyeing him and me. Me and friend dress sharp so that helps. They were definitely open, its just they asked "what did you say" multiple times, till they turned/partially I gave up. college girls, 1 white, 2 ethnic.

Another approach different venue (classier place with a touch of localness), girl was eyeing my wingman and he wasn't doing anything so I went up and said "hey" etc. she was open again, but again had to repeat myself a couple times till I ran out of things to say after small chit-chat. lost momentum after repeating myself.

Throughout the night wingman also asked me to repeat myself a couple times.

I gave up lifting 2 months ago because I wasn't eating enough, vegetarian. I gained maybe 3lbs, but was using the starting strength program: http://startingstrength.wikia.com/wiki/T...r_Programs

OK; this is my 100th post so I'll try to make this one somewhat special. See bold above. Talking is the biggest problem is for you to work on. Why is this happening? Once you answer this, GET IT FIXED ASAP (see below).

It doesn't seem that the issue is just the volume of your voice but also your overall ability to socially interact. You are likely not part of a group on campus that's full of American guys. Get a list of these groups. Maybe a fraternity. JOIN IT, but do yourself a favor and join one that has enough cool guys that are not afraid of being social. Email someone in the group and meet with them to find out. You will not gain much by being around those that are just like you. EASY.

The next issue is eating. Why don't you eat more? Vegetarians can also eat enough protein. For example you can have multiple servings of cottage cheese to keep your protein levels supplemented. Google search "how to get enough protein vegetarian." EASY.

As for working out, it's accepted within the manosphere that the starting strength program is one of the best for beginners. I myself used Stronglifts 5x5. You can initially just do 2 - 3 days a week with stronglifts with that and SEE some strength and physicality within about a month to month and a half as long as you also eat the right diet (I can attest to this). PM me if you'd like a program/links. I can share my own. Not EASY but VERY DOABLE. I used to wake up at 4 am in the morning to do this because I had absolutely no time in the evening due to 8 - 10 hours of work and family.

Next is social programming. Are you being told by someone that you can't get enough food by being vegetarian? Is someone telling you you have to get married? You only HAVE to do what you decide is best for you. You're in control. Don't let others (e.g. parents, friends, relatives) dictate that.

Report back when you address the items above.

[TheChef]

(03-10-2014 01:38 PM)Blackliter Wrote:  

Most of all I just need to be told to do the approaches

Yep.

Pre-plan your week with networking events and group activities so you have to talk to people.

Also, all the things about game will make sense once you've hit a high number of approaches.

But first thing's first: go talk to a shit ton of girls

[LeonsGreenWifeBeater]

Why are you trying to approach 100 girls? Approach ONE girl, then report back.

If you REALLY struggle with this, start lighter. Say hi to one person you normally wouldn't. Report back, tell us how it went.

I talk to as many people I can on a daily basis. Usually it's just "Hi" but that's really all you have to practice anyway.

And spend a lot of time thinking about/reading about/observing body language. If you have a solid "Hi" game and have good body language you don't need any material, ever. Almost girls will say hi back, unless they are cunts in which case who cares? They are vapid cumdumpsters.

So of the 90% or so who say "hi" back you then quickly gauge this woman's interest in you and either say "How you doing today?" or just keep walking. If you say "hi" to enough people (men and women. game men as hard as you game women!) you will quickly learn to instajudge who's friendly and not friendly.

And yes, ask dudes how they are doing if it seems "cool"...I had a converstion in the middle of the mall with tatted-out Crip. All because as he was struttin by me being as cool as ice, he nodded at me and I said "hi"...he was EASILY the most interesting person i met that month and it never would have happened if my "hi" game wasn't strong.

So, fuck this 100 approach shit.....Say Hi to one person tomorrow and report back. And if you aren't getting good responses on your "hi" then something is wrong. You either need to take better care of yourself or something. When I was fat (260+) my "hi" game was very weak. nobody wanted to talk to me. now that i weigh 210 and look like i can move a mountain, my "hi" game is super strong. everyone wants to be my friend.

so basically, use the responses you get in the "hi" game as a gauge of how the world VIEWS you. if nobody wants to talk to you, something is amiss and you need to work on it. it's ok to have approach anxiety if you look like you live in your moms basement.

have zero doubt if i dressed better, my "hi" game would be unstoppable...I could parlay a "hi" into anything if i wore a suit...instead i wear sweatpants and while my "hi" game is strong because of how handsome i am, it still is far weaker than it could be. even when i just put on jeans my hi game is stronger...so basically, if your appearance sucks, get that shit in line before worrying about anything else.

im really high and should go to bed. i am now motivated to practice my "hi" game tomorrow. good luck brother.

[LeonsGreenWifeBeater]

also why are you a vegetarian? will you die if you eat meat?

[Blackliter]

(03-19-2014 02:25 AM)LeonsGreenWifeBeater Wrote:  

So, fuck this 100 approach shit.....Say Hi to one person tomorrow and report back.

My "hi" game is actually very good. I'm really good at the initial start and then using my surroundings to say something. The problem is I run out of gas after 4-5 sentences and then when I hit that silence I'm a goner. I approached 5 strangers today with the "hi" game. guys & girls. That's not the hard part for me.

Went out again tonight. I approached 2 girls, first one was at a bar playing a game, and I said "I bet you $5 you won't make it". At first I thought she wouldn't respond but then opened up really well. And we talked for a good 5-10 minutes. Unfortunately was waiting for her guy in the bathroom.

2nd whatever. This girl that worked with me over summer sees me at another bar. She waves, I wave but I don't go talk to her. 2 hours later I get a text from her with a picture of her hot friend that also worked with us. "XX says hi" with a picture of the girl with a mean face. I respond "Wanna fight me XX? your red eyes scare me though"
idk if I should've texted differently. They're an 8 and 9. Definitely friend zoned from the summer though.

I was going to approach more girls. 1 smoking hot latina, showing a lot of skin and we made eye contact a lot (not the interest kind). Idk what the hell to open her with after the "hi, something."

other girl i was supposed to approach was ethnic, and i was gonna use the "hey, I'm trying to guess your nationality, i'm say xx with mixed xx". didn't follow through cause she was always with 2-3 friends.

Main Takeaway: Need more to say after the 1 minute mark.