[DonJuanBrown]

First post. After browsing around, I noticed a lot of guys have been "reborn.". The red pill changed their lives dramatically and for the better. A lot of these budding alphas talk mostly about newfound success with women, but I was wondering if any of you ever had a time in your life where you weren't respected by your male peers, weren't taken seriously, etc.

Getting with chicks was never really a problem for me. My biggest problem, which I would really like to change, is being taken seriously by other men. Those who know me well recognize me for my positive traits. They know I'm intelligent, can be really funny and just a pretty cool dude. However, when thrown into new situations with new people (especially dudes who project confidence) I'm rarely able to act natural. In a best case scenario, they remember me as a "nice, friendly dude," and worst case is somebody with nothing special to offer.

This goes back a long way. I got bullied pretty hard for a long time...from 1st to 8th grade. I was a huge pussy during this time and didn;t take matters into my own hands until 8th grade when i knocked this one kid out. I've never been bullied since, but the eight years people were giving me shit definitely got ingrained in my brain. I simply get intimidated and uncomfortable when other guys act like alphas in the truest sense of the word: being a top dog.

My life isn't horrible, and I don't get shit from people, but I feel like this problem creates a ceiling for my potential. I have a lot of good ideas and ambitions, but not being comfortable in leadership positions or at the center of attention is a huge handicap. I'm 23 now and want to start asserting myself to get what I want.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this? How did you change it? All thoughts are welcome.

[Sombro]

If you're only 23, I can only say to hone what talents you have, and round out yourself and your interests. Earned self-confidence tends to bury lingering insecurities in the long run... --> better inner frame --> better outer frame.

[NY Digital]

Start lifting. Get big. Ignore what others think of you and just believe in yourself.

[ryanf]

I second the lifting suggestion. I would also like to add martial arts to that.

[The Beast1]

(02-21-2014 10:33 AM)djwaters420 Wrote:  

First post. After browsing around, I noticed a lot of guys have been "reborn.". The red pill changed their lives dramatically and for the better. A lot of these budding alphas talk mostly about newfound success with women, but I was wondering if any of you ever had a time in your life where you weren't respected by your male peers, weren't taken seriously, etc.

Getting with chicks was never really a problem for me. My biggest problem, which I would really like to change, is being taken seriously by other men. Those who know me well recognize me for my positive traits. They know I'm intelligent, can be really funny and just a pretty cool dude. However, when thrown into new situations with new people (especially dudes who project confidence) I'm rarely able to act natural. In a best case scenario, they remember me as a "nice, friendly dude," and worst case is somebody with nothing special to offer.

This goes back a long way. I got bullied pretty hard for a long time...from 1st to 8th grade. I was a huge pussy during this time and didn;t take matters into my own hands until 8th grade when i knocked this one kid out. I've never been bullied since, but the eight years people were giving me shit definitely got ingrained in my brain. I simply get intimidated and uncomfortable when other guys act like alphas in the truest sense of the word: being a top dog.

My life isn't horrible, and I don't get shit from people, but I feel like this problem creates a ceiling for my potential. I have a lot of good ideas and ambitions, but not being comfortable in leadership positions or at the center of attention is a huge handicap. I'm 23 now and want to start asserting myself to get what I want.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this? How did you change it? All thoughts are welcome.

Sounds exactly like me, except my bullying went in various waves depending on how long I stayed at a school. High School was rough as I was involved in a few school activities like newspaper, orchestra, and a TV show. Classic target until I snapped and beat a kid with a belt for pushing me into a locker during gym. That was junior year, after that I was picked on but to a much lesser degree. I grew a thicker skin at that point.

However, the real question is this: Do you see yourself as a leader?

If you can say yes that's good. It means you have an end, but no means to get to that end.

I suggest weight lifting as your first endeavor towards getting more male respect. I took all of the wrong turns getting into PUA stuff, pheromones, etc etc.

Had I just started in the gym instead of trying to take the easy way out I would have not wasted so much time.

And by weight lifting, I mean actual free weights. Don't think machines and cardio cut it. Find a routine that works for you.

Once I started working out, respect from my male peers sky rocketed not to mention getting the attention of the opposite sex. Especially since I work in an office where everyone leads a massively sedentary lifestyle. The change from one year to two years is crazy. I can't wait to see what happens in year 3 when I'm a little bit bigger. Every bit of muscle I put on awards me better things.

The two years I've spent in the gym have been massively more useful to me than the 4 years I spent in undergrad.

A lot of things strangely started making sense to me after I did a heavy set of squats or dead lifts.

And finally, hang around here and read up on the red pill (which you've been doing). As you get stronger, you'll learn body language and how to play dominance / submission vs open and friendly body language.

Being a charmer of women does not equate to being a leader of men. However, charming women is a million times harder to learn than learning how to be a leader of men is.

Us men are simple creatures, you already have the harder piece of the puzzle solved.

[Sp5]

Getting in shape is a good first step, but accomplishments matter. Consider doing something challenging and cool. Military is always a good way to have experiences most men don't match, (even the reserves or National Guard) but working on an oil rig, fishing boat, the Peace Corps, EMT work, ironworker, big rig driver, forest firefighter are the things I am thinking of. Something that involves some danger and extreme living.

Then you will always have that confidence inside - you have done shit they have not - and you won't care what they think because you passed the test they haven't even taken.

[DonJuanBrown]

Thanks for the advice, guys.