[LeoTheLip]

Hey, Everyone:

Back again after a short break. I wanted to bring up the concept of Inner Game, as my lack of it is why I'm on the verge of marriage counseling (and why I actually gave [give?] a crap about another woman's intentions, etc.).

I've tried to be the "good man" for years; apparently, I've always confused "good man" with "supplicant" or, "doormat." Why? I dislike fake, egotistical/arrogant people, so I overcompensated to avoid being like that. I've been supplicant to my wife (mistaking it for kindness), and while she has anger issues, the biggest issue of all might be my eagerness to please.

Point is, I want to maintain an innate generosity (I like cooking for people, having people over, having people try new beer brands I find, etc.)... i.e., I ENJOY being hospitable. I just want to find that fine line where saying "F off" and not giving a damn won't be misconstrued as arrogance and vanity. My inability to master this fine line is why I've arrived at this twisted crossroads (marriage teetering, wondering about other women etc.).

Thx.

[Basil Ransom]

Ach, IE crashed, making me lose the response I wrote up. Here's the summary:

Take all the people who are selfish, ungracious and especially disrespectful in your life, and get rid of them, shun them absolutely. You will immediately feel more in control, more masculine and will doubt yourself less.

For those you can't get rid of so easily, ration your generosity according to their agreeableness and compliance.

[broken]

I say if you're tired of being a door mat, Go to the dark side for a bit.

Get it out of your system.

That's what worked for me. I found out that being an asshole/jerk came more off as me being assertive and respecting myself, rather than disrespecting others.

[Roosh]

The only way to find out where the line is would be by crossing it and then see what happens.

[LeoTheLip]

(11-09-2008 11:15 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

The only way to find out where the line is would be by crossing it and then see what happens.

Yes, but I wrote of "overcompensating" above. At times I'm ready to not simply cross the line, but cross it with aggravated gusto....