[tboz]

I met a Japanese girl visiting NYC and I took her to a lounge the same night I met her. I then asked her if she's ever been to the Brooklyn Bridge. She said no so I suggested I take her there. While we were on the train headed there, she changed her mind and got off the train to go home because she said it was too late. I had no choice but to relent.

The next day I text her and asked her out. She asked where I will take her and I suggested Brooklyn Bridge. I suggested this since shes a foreigner and has never been there. She then replied that I was dangerous, which was weird. I told her I wasnt dangerous. Then she said that she doesnt understand my attitude. I told her to stop playing games but she replied that she wasnt and that I scare her.

I've never been in a situation like this. I dont know whats her problem. She seems a bit paranoid. What do you suggest I should have done and what I should do now? Thanks.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I think telling her to stop playing games was a bad move. Even if she is, what do you gain from bringing that up? You're not going to logically argue your way into her pants. Instead try being surprised (as you honestly are) and asking what about you scares her.
Then, depending on how you judge her need for game, either agree and amplify (yeah I'm a gangster...) or try to appear more vulnerable (tell her a funny story about something that scared you recently that she might emphasize with).

[Giovonny]

I suspect that there is a language and cultural barrier here. She is a little uneasy like many people are when they are in a foreign city for the first time. She has never been to the Brooklyn Bridge, it was night time, she got spooked.

Take her somewhere where she will feel safe and secure. Don't put her on the subway in Brooklyn late at night. Meet her in her hotel lobby and walk somewhere touristy or where there will be a lot of people, preferably rich or high class people.

She needs to feel safe and secure. Stick to fancy type neighborhoods.

[germanico]

She wants your dick.

[polymath]

Dude don't suggest taking girls to bridges......

I don't blame her.

Take her to Union Square or something cool, daytime preferred....at night go to a bar or Top of the Rock or something. The girl wants to have fun, not go to a place where you could rape her and dump her into the river.

[Icarus]

(02-03-2014 06:15 PM)polymath Wrote:  

Dude don't suggest taking girls to bridges

Why not? Now I am curious...

For instance, here's the Chain Bridge in Budapest. What is scary about that?

[AneroidOcean]

(02-03-2014 02:36 AM)tboz Wrote:  

I met a Japanese girl visiting NYC and I took her to a lounge the same night I met her. I then asked her if she's ever been to the Brooklyn Bridge. She said no so I suggested I take her there. While we were on the train headed there, she changed her mind and got off the train to go home because she said it was too late. I had no choice but to relent.

The next day I text her and asked her out. She asked where I will take her and I suggested Brooklyn Bridge. I suggested this since shes a foreigner and has never been there. She then replied that I was dangerous, which was weird. I told her I wasnt dangerous. Then she said that she doesnt understand my attitude. I told her to stop playing games but she replied that she wasnt and that I scare her.

I've never been in a situation like this. I dont know whats her problem. She seems a bit paranoid. What do you suggest I should have done and what I should do now? Thanks.

My emphasis in bold. You met her and were on an instant date basically. You are not thinking about this at all from her perspective. Of course shes paranoid. You're taking her on a dirty NYC train to a "bridge" which she probably has heard nothing about before. She's probably thinking, "how about we go to one of the other cooler things I've heard about all my life and seen in movies about NY?"

Then you suggested to take her to the SAME PLACE which she obviously wasn't that interested in and a little scared about.



You should've suggested something you could walk to or something that she'd RECOGNIZE or you could show her pictures of on your phone. Row boats in central park? Times Square? Something more touristy/girl friendly.

[Faust]

I don't normally comment on Game threads because I have the game of an overweight cripple with Parkinson and a cleft lip, but this is one area I know a little about.

Japanese girls are EXTREMELY easily spooked. They grow up on a diet of "Japan is the safest place in the world, and everywhere else you go you'll probably get raped." It's rare enough to see one by herself in New York City.

The cultural barriers here are gigantic, and if you want to bang her you need to play it very, very safe with her. Be calm and reassuring, and don't take her anywhere dimly lit or away from people. And absolutely don't assume that your definitions of "safe" match hers. If she tells you something is scaring her, even if you think it's stupid, go along with it and suggest something else. What would work fine on an American girl risks just sending her running away from you entirely.

The good news is that if she's in New York by herself, the odds that she wants to put out are extremely high, so if you don't frighten her off it should be a fairly easy lay.

[CJ_W]

(02-03-2014 06:16 PM)Icarus Wrote:  

(02-03-2014 06:15 PM)polymath Wrote:  

Dude don't suggest taking girls to bridges

Why not? Now I am curious...

For instance, here's the Chain Bridge in Budapest. What is scary about

1)first date - coffee shop or nice upscale bar.

seconding what the guy above me says.

But even then, Even if she was from your home country, you shouldnt be taking women to a beautiful date spot during your first meet. Your goal isn't to give her "Romance" let the beta guys pedastalling her do that. Your goal is to bed her.

Yeah I know you want to be all creative or whatnot, and maybe it may have worked for you in the past. . .(it's not working now which is why you're here)but you need to control yourself first. You put off serious beta - "please fuck me" vibes to the woman by doing that on a first date.

Remember you aren't in some Hollywood romance movie, ALSO since she's TRAVELING she does NOT want to "See the sights" with some dude, she's most likely got a boyfriend at home for that. . .(Since I've lived in Tokyo for many years and talked to J-girls about things like this) I can tell you that they do not respect men like this. ESPECIALLY their boyfreinds. Not going to go into the whole mind of the young Japanese female on this post but, you trying to become her boyfriend is creeping her out. She's trying to ESCAPE from all that.

Most likely She really isn't afraid, but rather lost her attraction to you and doesnt know how to express it in terms you as a non japanese person would understand.

I wouldn't be suprised if she never talks to you again.

Also, please please please, Don't think just because a Japanese woman is cute that she's "Special" or whatever . . .LOTS of J-girls know this shit and use weak dudes overseas and game the crap out of them. They are NOT innocent creatures etc etc. . .Remember, they come from the land of Two extreemes : EXTREEMELY BETA dudes (Beta to the point of "Non - existence") and EXTREEMLY alpha dudes(a lot of the dudes on this forum tend to focus on the former, not the latter which is a big mistake), you can BET your lucky stars that she can tell who is who in an instant. Guess which guy gets it wet, and which guy dries it up? Basically if she's giving you this shit over text, you're pretty much done. You'd be lucky if she's not already seeing 3-4 dudes already.

(02-03-2014 07:03 PM)Faust Wrote:  

I
The good news is that if she's in New York by herself, the odds that ---she has already been putting out since she walked off the damn plane---- are extremely high,

Fixed that for ya.

oh and P.S. Telling her to "Stop playing games" is the death knell. She's already done with you. Do not do that. . . ever. You've just dried it up.
What you should do now? Take it as a learning experience and move on. If she responds to you and STILL wants to meet you (I highly doubt it but hey, maybe you can. . . "get lucky") then do the above. . .

In Japan, if you tell a J-Girl who you havent fucked "stop playing games" (or in many case even HAVE fucked) she will IMMEDIATELY cut off all contact with you, she will not text you call you or answer anything from you. At that point you don't exist, you've been put into the "BETA guy" bin by her mind.

The reason this happens? Well that's a book an a half. . . Just dont do shit like that again in the future.

[Christian McQueen]

Stop wearing your Freddy Krueger mask.

May help.

[funkyzeit]

I had a girl who was scared of bridges. I also had a girl who avoided them because her grandmother committed suicide by jumping off bridge.

What you're probably dealing with is her typical japanese xenophobic paranoia around strangers taking her to places that take only a quick throw over the rail to hurt her. Take her to a nice bar which gives off classic American vibe that she sees in movies, she'll love it.

[polymath]

(02-03-2014 06:16 PM)Icarus Wrote:  

(02-03-2014 06:15 PM)polymath Wrote:  

Dude don't suggest taking girls to bridges

Why not? Now I am curious...

For instance, here's the Chain Bridge in Budapest. What is scary about that?

If I wanted to take a girl to that spot, I would suggest someplace on one side of the river, and meet at a place on the other side, such that we would have to walk across the bridge en route. Taking a girl directly to a bridge just seems utterly unattractive and strange. Would you ever suggest to a friend, "hey bro, what's up...let's hit up Brooklyn Bridge 2night"? I would see that as abnormal.

Don't assume that just because someone's a girl, she has to go along with every suggestion that you make. Yeah the bridge is pretty but come on, imagine it from her perspective.

Girl, to friend: "Yeah, so the guy was really cute, and funny. Then he suggested that we go to a bridge, so I did. And it was very nice, the view was so pretty."

Girl, to friend: "I met a guy, he was cute and sweet, but he insisted on taking me to a bridge. In the middle of winter. And when I hesitated, he got angry. I told him I was scared but he didn't listen and told me to 'quit playing games'... I mean, doesn't he know a bar, a restaurant, or like a park or something? It felt dangerous so I didn't go."

I don't know which of those versions sounds more realistic to you, but I think the second one is more likely.

Plus, you can't really compare the Danube to the East River. And the Brooklyn Bridge is almost five times as long as the Chain Bridge. It's cool but it doesn't have the vibe of a centerpiece spot for a date with a tourist girl.

[Icarus]

(02-06-2014 11:46 AM)polymath Wrote:  

Plus, you can't really compare the Danube to the East River. And the Brooklyn Bridge is almost five times as long as the Chain Bridge. It's cool but it doesn't have the vibe of a centerpiece spot for a date with a tourist girl.

Exactly. It's not the bridge per se, it's the vibe. There are bridges that have a great vibe, due to the view, but they are to be walked across. Would be silly to stay still in the middle of a bridge.

If I were in Pest with a girl, I would walk back to Buda crossing the Chain Bridge, then walk the stairs up to that place on top of the tunnel under the Buda castle, sit there, and enjoy the view of the Chain Bridge and the Parliament. I certainly would not stay still in the middle of the Chain Bridge, like a suicidal man trying to muster up enough courage to jump off.