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Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)
#1

Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)

Apologies if it's in the wrong section.

I've left any typos unedited.
Quote:Quote:

Hi everyone! Firstly, I am 28 years old this year and I am currently living in Perth, Australia. if you don't have a photo, please don't send me a request. And don't expect me to make the first move- I think guys should initiate the conversation. Once I accept your request you must contact me within 24 hours. If you don’t I will take that as you’re not interested in talking to me and I will delete you. I am not a patient person and I especially hate wasting my time and waiting for guys who are never online to talk.

Also, don't contact me if you have an inappropriate Facebook names or email addresses. I've seen a few and am completely grossed out by those names. And your thoughts are part of your personality. And I can tell what kind of personality you have just by looking at your FB account details.
Guys who send me a FB friend request must be itching to talk to me every minute of every day. That is a sign that he is really interested in me. Anything less than that, don't waste my time. I have better things to do.

I also don't like guys who have a first intense conversation with me and then disappear and never talk to me anymore after that. I will delete you if that happens. This includes local, interstate and international contacts.

If you are contacting me from interstate or overseas, please make sure you are wealthy enough to fly to Perth to meet me in person (if we have chemistry). I am not willing to travel to other states or countries on the principle that a girl shouldn't have to go the distance for a guy.

It should be the other way round. I am not going to relocate either if everything goes well. The guy can do the relocating. I'm staying put here in Perth. And speaking some decent English would be helpful too.

Now info about me- I am fun to be around, I love jokes and being childish at times, I laugh a lot I think laughing is a very important part of life, I am optimistic, I live life to the fullest and I never let anyone bring me down. I am very outspoken and am the type of person who doesn’t ‘beat around the bush’. I am very straight to the point. I am responsible for what I say but not what you understand or interpret.

I'm the type of girl who says what I mean and means what I say. I apologize when I have said or done something wrong I'm not prissy about it. And I hate guys who don't apologize. I've been in a relationship before where even where he made so many mistakes he never apologized. I really hate that. Saying 'sorry' doesn't mean you're admitting you're wrong or that you're weak. It shows that you are human and you are considerate of other peoples' feelings.

I am an emotional person and sometimes let feelings get the better of me but most of the time I am a strong-willed girl. I'm not of them girls who goes to the corner and whinges and cries when everything goes wrong. I say, if there's a problem, fix it. Don't complain about it. Get up and do something about it. Because sitting there feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to make problems magically disappear.

I don't like or love people easily but if I like you, then obviously you must be special. But you have to try your very hardest for me to like or love you. I get upset easily and I have a big temper. When I'm angry, I am more vicious than a pack of hungry wolves. So I suggest you don't go there. But if you don't believe me, I dare you to try.

I have very expensive taste and I enjoy the finer things in life. I am not a simple girl with simple tastes. I simply refuse to have a boring housewife life where I just manage the home and take care of the kids and not have a life of my own. I want a guy who will provide me with an extravagant lifestyle- he must be able to take me on expensive cruises and holidays and stay at 5 star hotels and dine at the finest restaurants and take me on shopping sprees. I want a guy who treats me like a princess all the time.

I'm not the type of girl who settles. I am a woman who knows exactly what she wants in a man. If he falls short of any expectations I’m going to have to say ‘goodbye’ to you.

I am a genuine and a nice person. I am thoughtful, sweet and understanding. I will go out of my way to make my boyfriend/husband happy (if he makes me happy). I am very loyal and will stick up for loved ones even if they’re wrong. When I love someone I love them passionately. That’s the way I love. I’m also a very committed person. I am really good to talk to about problems or concerns- my friends say so and I’ve been counsellor to my friends many many times. I can be serious at times when I need to be.

I have traditional morals and values and I do not intend to break them for any guy. I believe that two people should be married if they want to live together and have a child. I believe that the man should be the sole financial provider of the household.

I love smiling, I love the colour Blue, I love my Barbie and I enjoy collecting dolls (yes I am a little girl at heart), I love Hello Kitty, I love staying indoors with a good book or movie, I love getting kisses and cuddles and I enjoy my movies and music. I am an excellent cook and I am a bit of a 'foodie'

I like cats rather than dogs. My favourite breed is the exotic shorthair. I love their 'scrunched up' faces I hope to have one of them one day.

My favourite flower is the purple orchid and I love collecting bridal magazines and fashion design. I believe in capital punishment and I think Australia should re-introduce it to the way criminals are dealt with. I hate red meat and seafood. I am very hygienic and sometimes obsess over cleanliness.

I don't give second chances. I believe giving second chances is like giving a person a second bullet to shoot you with because they missed you the first time. And I certainly don't have 'stupid' written on my forehead. I don’t forgive easily and in some situations I have never forgiven people at all to this day. I don’t trust people easily either so you’re going to have to make the extra effort to gain my trust and most importantly, to keep it.

I am intelligent and witty. I am highly educated and I studied and graduated from the Top 100 Universities in Australia; University of Western Australia (UWA). I also have a degree from Monash University in Melbourne.

I don't have a model figure nor am I super skinny. I don’t aspire to be like models because I am comfortable in my own skin and I like the way I am. Anyone telling me differently will get an earful of my cussing. I believe every girl is beautiful whether they’re a size 6 or 16.

If you're purely after looks and if you want a slim girl I'm not it. That is a physical relationship. I don't do physical relationships because I think it's truly revolting to like someone based on looks.

I love listening to 'dancey' songs (although I hate clubs and discos). My favourites are Alexandra Stan, Jessica Mauboy, Lana Del Rey, Ellie Goulding and Lady Gaga. I also like dubstep music from Pendulum and Gemini.

I love wearing pretty frilly dresses I love wearing flowers in my hair.
I also like to surf the Net, sing, read, write stories, write songs and I aspire to learn the guitar one day I am currently in the middle of writing my own novel so it's pretty exciting for me I like long walks along the beach but only in Winter. I hate summer fiercely.

If you're the type of guy who surfs and is addicted to beaches in summer then you obviously are asking for a death wish. Cancer will take you faster than you can apply the strongest sunscreen.

If I had to choose a dream hobby it would be being an actress. I love acting and I attend drama workshops when I can. I'm not obsessed with the whole goth theme and vampires but I am very much interested in the legends of Dracula and Countess Elizabeth Bathory. I do as much research as I can during my free time and I love nothing more than watching that kind of movie or documentary while munching on choc and chips

I love my family- they are my world- I treasure my friends- I love going to the movies from time to time. I love shopping and eating out as well. I work fulltime as a retail manager and I love it. I work hard and enjoy my job.

My ultimate life goal is to get married and have children.

Just because I'm an Asian girl, it doesn't mean I am subservient or shy. I defy the Asian girl stereotype and I don't do as I am told. I bend the rules, I speak up and won't take crap from people. I am not submissive in any way.

I don't drink , I don’t smoke and I don’t do drugs.

I HATE guys who smoke. That is something I simply will not accept. I think smoking is a vulgar habit so if you smoke, don't bother contacting me. And if you lie about it I WILL find out. I always find out peoples' secrets one way or the other. And I can generally tell if people are lying to me.

I am a human lie detector and nothing gets passed me. I notice everything, even the tiniest of things like the tone in your voice when you speak to me. If someone looks a bit suss to me, he probably is.

I also HATE guys who drink. I don't care if it's a quarter of a glass or 3 jugs, drinking is drinking. There is no point in telling me, 'But I only drink a little and not often.' If you absolutely have to drink, I suggest quitting it before contacting me. And if you drink discreetly, same thing as above...I WILL find out and I will leave you on the spot. If you’re the sort of guy who likes to unwind by having a million beers after work, there’s the door.

I will not tolerate inappropriate behavior such as swearing and making racist and sexist remarks. I don't like being taken advantage of, a relationship that is full of dramas and arguments, guys just looking to get into bed with me. SO NOT ON. I don't appreciate mind games either and I hate liars.

I also don't like guys with tattoos and piercings. That might be a way of expressing yourself but I don’t think you actually need to de-face your body to do that. If you’re into that kind of stuff please don’t contact me. I find tattoos and piercings truly disgusting.

I HATE clubs/pubs/discos/loud concerts. I am not a ‘let’s party and get laid’ type of girl. If you want a party bimbo you're looking at the wrong girl mate.

I don't like dogs. I hate living with them. So if I ever get to a point where I am living with a guy and he has a dog/dogs, it or they are going to have to go. If you choose a dog over me, well firstly you're dumb enough to let a great girl go and secondly, you will never get me back so you might as well marry your dog.

If you're a gym junkie and workout everyday and are obsessive about your appearance, that’s not what I’m looking for in a guy. I’d like a non-sporty kind of guy- one who isn’t obsessive about sports- that can get really annoying.

I HATE outdoor activities with passion so if you're the adventure-seeking type and loves camping and hiking and other outdoor stuff we're not going to get along.

I don't believe in sex before marriage. I think sex before marriage is wrong, immoral and disgusting. If you've 'done it' many times with plenty of girls or if you are the 'playboy I sleep around' type, you're so not the guy for me. I think you should probably stick to girls who have no morals or values.

I do not believe in pre-nuptial agreements. And I will not sign one when I am about to get married. I stick by : "What's mine is mine and what's your's is mine too".

I have very high standards and I have a set criteria for every single guy I meet and I stick to it. There are no exceptions and no straying from it.

I don't like guys walking in and out of my life- you cannot come and go as you please. You either stick around and never leave or just don't contact me in the first place. It's simple. I don't accept 'part-time' people in my life. I deserve better than that.

I will not tolerate guys talking back to me or trying to win arguments. That isn’t going to work. I like having the last word. If you think you simply can’t resist snapping back at me, well….there’s the trash can and you can go sit in it.

"Don't mistake my friendliness for weakness. I am nice to everyone but if someone is not nice to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me."

"I am single. And you are going to have to be absolutely amazing to change that."

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading!

What I'm Looking For

Hmm, let's see....I have a pretty long list but essentially I want a boyfriend who will potentially become a husband. He must be good-looking (or at least decent-looking), clean, hygenic, caring, generous, loyal and faithful. He must be patient, tolerant, kind, honest, trusting, gentle and respectful. He must also be hard-working and committed and dedicated to building a future with me and giving me a luxurious comfortable life.

I will not entertain sleazy guys, rude idiots or guys that are full of themselves. There's a fine line between self-confidence and arrogance.

I want a guy free from his past relationships and ready to commit to me and me only. His relationship history must be exactly that: history. He must not linger on thoughts and feelings for this past girlfriends. Make sure you completely get over them first. He must only have eyes and the heart for me. I will not settle for less.

I want a guy who will financially provide for me. And I must be able to choose if I want to work or not. A genuinely nice guy will give me that freedom of choice. And if I work, I should get to keep what I earn all to myself. If you're scared of that, then you're not the guy for me and you should probably bugger off right about now.

I'll tell you upfront that I am looking for a rich guy. He must be financially able to pay for EVERYTHING- bills, petrol, groceries, mortgage, kids, wedding, honeymoon, etc...and I should not have to pitch in a single cent.

I am NOT paying for anything. With me, there is no such thing as ‘going halves’, ‘you pay this, I pay that’ or 'let's split the expenses'- none of that nonsense. I believe the guy pays for everything and I am never backing down from that ever. If that doesn’t suit you, don’t click the ‘contact’ button. It’s simple. I was raised in a very Asian culture and this concept of halving household bills and stuff is unheard of and I am not about to start that ridiculous trend.

This concept of mine is not up for debate and it is not open for discussion or negotiation. It's really simple: Guy pays everything, girl (me) pays nothing. That's it. Very straight-forward. No faffing around.

If you are a business owner I am NOT going to work with you or for you. It's YOUR business. You run it. Don't involve me at all. The only thing I will involve myself with is the income you earn from running your business. That's about it. Don't expect me to work at your business. I've had a guy like that before so I dumped him on the spot. You're no different. If I can do it to him, I can certainly do it to you.

Money is the second most important thing to me after good health. Poverty scares me more than death itself. I’ve been in situations without money and I’ve had a relationship where the guy was poor. I do not want to go there ever again. I also want the sort of guy who would give me access to his money without questions without reservations. It’s about trust and the guy I ultimately choose must be able to give me that.

I want a guy who buys me gifts, lots of gifts such as expensive jewellery, perfumes, clothes, surprise getaways, takes me out to fancy dinners and balls and is always willing to go to the ends of the earth to make sure I stay happy all the time.

He MUST have a high-paying, secure and a proper job. So working at Maccas is definitely out of the question. I don't mind having a partner who works away (eg: in the mines).

He also must not go to pubs and clubs at all- I absolutely forbid it and he must not contact or go out with female friends. I don’t have any friends who are guys and I want a guy who doesn’t have any female friends either. If you want to keep them, don’t contact me. He absolutely must not be into disgusting things like pornography.

Also, with all due respect, please don't contact me if you are physically disabled in any shape or form. Frankly I don’t want to spend the rest of my precious life nursing a man child with a condition.

I am NOT getting into a relationship where I just live with the guy forever and never get an engagement ring and never get married. I'm not that type of girl. And I am most certainly am not a loose cannon like most girls are. “If you like it you should have put a ring on it.”

I have very Asian values and I take relationships and marriage very seriously.

I want a guy who finds me irresistibly cute and beautiful even when I have trackies and no make-up on. The perfect guy for me would be the type that loves me whether I look glamorous or not. The perfect guy must not pressure me for anything. Yes, I meant ANYTHING. And that includes that ONE THING guys. You know what I'm talking about. Don't act like you're innocent. If he even 'hints' about it, it's 'bye bye' forever. I mean it.

He must love me as much even if I gain weight and look fat. He must love me unconditionally. No matter what the circumstances, the perfect guy would NEVER leave me.

I must be number 1 in your life. I must come before anything and anyone else. I will not accept anything less. I must always be a priority. I will not take the back seat. If you think you’re going to struggle putting me number one, I won’t be interested in talking to you.

Guys with exes who are still tagging along, with children, divorced, separated, going through divorce or separation- please don’t contact me at all.

I have a simple rule: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure don't deserve me at my best."

Thanks.

Below is some of my Details I used on Dating websites:

Ethnicity Asian
Relationship Status Single
Religion Buddhist
Spoken Languages English, Burmese
Smoking Habits Never smoke
Have Children Don't have any
Want Children Want
Food Preference No special diet
Drinking Habits Never
Hair Colour Black
Eye Colour Brown
Height 5'5" / 165cm
Body Type Average
Have Pets No
Education Post Graduate
Occupation Management
Sign of the Zodiac Sagittarius
Interests
Fashion design
Surfing the net
Listening to music
Collecting Barbie
Singing
Writing stories and songs
Sewing
Arts and Crafts
Movies and music
Shopping

http://therealsingapore.com/content/dear...-boyfriend
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#2

Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)

We have a thread for this.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-11111.html

I'm the King of Beijing!
Reply
#3

Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)

This is quite a wall of text, Man - can you tell us what it is first?

Some bird's dating profile?

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
Reply
#4

Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)

A quarter of the way through and I felt like my brain was molested

"Feminism is a trade union for ugly women"- Peregrine
Reply
#5

Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)

Yeah, that belongs in the online hamster thread.

That being said, that bitch is in for a VERY long life as no man can meet her demands.

What a waste.

Quote:Old Chinese Man Wrote:  
why you wonder how many man another man bang? why you care who bang who mr high school drama man
Reply
#6

Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)

Quote: (01-04-2014 01:03 AM)Suits Wrote:  

We have a thread for this.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-11111.html
Thanks man.

Quote: (01-04-2014 01:05 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

This is quite a wall of text, Man - can you tell us what it is first?

Some bird's dating profile?

Egads, I hope not. It's quoted from a blog whose link is at the bottom of my post.
Reply
#7

Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)

Quote: (01-04-2014 02:21 AM)JWLZG Wrote:  

Quote: (01-04-2014 01:03 AM)Suits Wrote:  

We have a thread for this.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-11111.html
Thanks man.

Quote: (01-04-2014 01:05 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

This is quite a wall of text, Man - can you tell us what it is first?

Some bird's dating profile?

Egads, I hope not. It's quoted from a blog whose link is at the bottom of my post.

Fair enough, but as a heads up, I wouldn't expect your posts to get read much or see much response when you just drop a vague title and a big wall of text. People have better things to do than follow every link that gets dropped without having a motive for doing so.

It's typically good form to drop a one-liner up top hinting at what the post is or at least use a descriptive title. I noticed you were new around here so was just giving you a tip - guess I could have made that clearer.

But if this works for you, hey, works for me...Carry on.

EDIT: Sorry if this came across a bit over-confrontational - My bad. I believe I misread your response to me. The advice still stands though.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
Reply
#8

Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)

Christ, what a cunt. Reading that is disturbing.
Reply
#9

Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)

Need an :Asian hamster on meth: emoticon for this one.

same old shit, sixes and sevens Shaft...
Reply
#10

Quite easily one of the best pieces of fiction I've read (I hope)

Quote: (01-04-2014 02:26 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Fair enough, but as a heads up, I wouldn't expect your posts to get read much or see much response when you just drop a vague title and a big wall of text. People have better things to do than follow every link that gets dropped without having a motive for doing so.

It's typically good form to drop a one-liner up top hinting at what the post is or at least use a descriptive title. I noticed you were new around here so was just giving you a tip - guess I could have made that clearer.

But if this works for you, hey, works for me...Carry on.

EDIT: Sorry if this came across a bit over-confrontational - My bad. I believe I misread your response to me. The advice still stands though.

No, gladly taken on board. I haven't used forums in a while and it makes perfect sense to frame a massive of extract in some context. More so if one's new to the forum.
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