[soup]

I was recently talking with a friend who works in psychology about game, and they were saying that it sounded similar to Don Juanism

"Don Juanism or Don Juan syndrome is a non-clinical term for the desire, in a man, to have sex with many different female partners due to his latent homosexuality or insecurity about his masculinity.[1]"

They also brought up the concept of the Oedipal Victor.

The idea behind the victor is a variation of the story Oedipus. The victor is actually able to win the affections of the mother from the father at a very early age and gains great confidence and will be undaunted by future rivals because he's already got his 10 (his mother, the ideal woman). He goes through his life constantly pushing boundaries and supposedly has an unconscious desire to have someone put him in his place (like a longing for a missing father figure).

My friend was saying that it is a fake confidence because it comes from the insecurity.

I mentioned that maybe that doesn't matter because if girls are attracted to his confidence, be it false or whatever, then maybe he doesn't need "real" confidence.

Does happiness come from confidence? I don't think that being happy necessarily makes you more confident.

Does a constant conquest for pussy really point to some kind of insecurity?

I think this is Freud stuff so it's probably outdated, but I thought it was interesting that confidence was recognized as a key aspect of the ladies man's mentality way long ago.

[pheonix500000]

(12-29-2013 08:02 PM)soup Wrote:  

I was recently talking with a friend who works in psychology about game, and they were saying that it sounded similar to Don Juanism

"Don Juanism or Don Juan syndrome is a non-clinical term for the desire, in a man, to have sex with many different female partners due to his latent homosexuality or insecurity about his masculinity.[1]"

They also brought up the concept of the Oedipal Victor.

The idea behind the victor is a variation of the story Oedipus. The victor is actually able to win the affections of the mother from the father at a very early age and gains great confidence and will be undaunted by future rivals because he's already got his 10 (his mother, the ideal woman). He goes through his life constantly pushing boundaries and supposedly has an unconscious desire to have someone put him in his place (like a longing for a missing father figure).

My friend was saying that it is a fake confidence because it comes from the insecurity.

I mentioned that maybe that doesn't matter because if girls are attracted to his confidence, be it false or whatever, then maybe he doesn't need "real" confidence.

Does happiness come from confidence? I don't think that being happy necessarily makes you more confident.

Does a constant conquest for pussy really point to some kind of insecurity?

I think this is Freud stuff so it's probably outdated, but I thought it was interesting that confidence was recognized as a key aspect of the ladies man's mentality way long ago.

Lets be real here, freud was a sick bastard and the same way scientists are now acknowledging things that we know for years means that experience shows us things that they dont know.

[soup]

He may have been a sick bastard, but you can't deny that confidence plays a role in game, and that it makes sense that someone who is imbued with it from an early age, for whatever reason, is probably going to win the favor of ladies more easily than someone who wasn't.

[runsonmagic]

There is a tendency in psychology to pathologize everything and see the human experience in terms of disease.

If you want love, it must be because your mother didn't love you enough and you're trying to fulfill unmet desires.

If you feel confident, it must mean your mother loved you too much and you were never "put in your place."

It could just mean you're human, and there is nothing pathological about natural human desires and experiences.

[soup]

(12-29-2013 08:15 PM)runsonmagic Wrote:  

There is a tendency in psychology to pathologize everything and see the human experience in terms of disease.

If you want love, it must be because your mother didn't love you enough and you're trying to fulfill unmet desires.

If you feel confident, it must mean your mother loved you too much and you were never "put in your place."

It could just mean you're human, and there is nothing pathological about natural human desires and experiences.

Yes but it is interesting to think about the fact there are a lot of players out there who grew up in homes without fathers. We see this kind of thing in ghettos.

Maybe guys are just seeking a good time, but if there is some un-dealt with anguish underlying all of it, that could be holding back a greater potential to experience joy.

[pheonix500000]

(12-29-2013 08:14 PM)soup Wrote:  

He may have been a sick bastard, but you can't deny that confidence plays a role in game, and that it makes sense that someone who is imbued with it from an early age, for whatever reason, is probably going to win the favor of ladies more easily than someone who wasn't.

of course, but i was looking at the latent homo-ness as a reason to why guys want to fuck a lot of girls which is not true.

[soup]

(12-29-2013 08:19 PM)pheonix500000 Wrote:  

(12-29-2013 08:14 PM)soup Wrote:  

He may have been a sick bastard, but you can't deny that confidence plays a role in game, and that it makes sense that someone who is imbued with it from an early age, for whatever reason, is probably going to win the favor of ladies more easily than someone who wasn't.

of course, but i was looking at the latent homo-ness as a reason to why guys want to fuck a lot of girls which is not true.

Yeah well that seemed like a bit of a stretch to me too.

However, it would be interesting if there was a link between guys being gay and not having strong father figures while they were growing up.

[AntiTrace]

(12-29-2013 08:26 PM)soup Wrote:  

However, it would be interesting if there was a link between guys being gay and not having strong father figures while they were growing up.

It can go both ways (see what I did there?).

I had a gay guy hit on me at a bar once. I was cool about and told him I wasn't gay. He seemed like an actual cool dude and we had a pretty deep conversation on the root cause homosexuality. He explained that to a certain extent he was born with it, but thinks he's strong father figure caused it as well. He claimed his father was actually too stern and rarely gave him love and admiration . He thinks that caused him to seek that out from other males.

Cool dude overall. We also talked about why I prefer girls that are taken. Basically he said it was an anti-commitment thing and I like girls that are in relationships because subconsciously I know they are less likely to try to lock me down. That and I go into the relationship knowing the moral grounds of said female I.E. I know shes a cheater so I wouldn't get into a monogamous relationship with her regardless. Protecting myself against being cheated on in a relationship by chasing girls are already in a relationship and cheating. Like protecting yourself from fire using fire.

I like deep psychological conversations with intelligent non-judgmental people. But I've found most psychologists are quacks that try (like the rest of society) to push someone into a predefined label that they had read in a book. Most of them can't think outside of what their books tell them.

[soup]

(12-29-2013 08:54 PM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

(12-29-2013 08:26 PM)soup Wrote:  

However, it would be interesting if there was a link between guys being gay and not having strong father figures while they were growing up.

It can go both ways (see what I did there?).

I had a gay guy hit on me at a bar once. I was cool about and told him I wasn't gay. He seemed like an actual cool dude and we had a pretty deep conversation on the root cause homosexuality. He explained that to a certain extent he was born with it, but thinks he's strong father figure caused it as well. He claimed his father was actually too stern and rarely gave him love and admiration . He thinks that caused him to seek that out from other males.

Cool dude overall. We also talked about why I prefer girls that are taken. Basically he said it was an anti-commitment thing and I like girls that are in relationships because subconsciously I know they are less likely to try to lock me down. That and I go into the relationship knowing the moral grounds of said female I.E. I know shes a cheater so I wouldn't get into a monogamous relationship with her regardless. Protecting myself against being cheated on in a relationship by chasing girls are already in a relationship and cheating. Like protecting yourself from fire using fire.

I like deep psychological conversations with intelligent non-judgmental people. But I've found most psychologists are quacks that try (like the rest of society) to push someone into a predefined label that they had read in a book. Most of them can't think outside of what their books tell them.

Most, if not all, are probably feminists. That's could be a problem for any guys like us if we end up needing a psychotherapist.

Maybe there are redpill ones out there..

[CarCrashKid]

Soup my lad!

The only question I have is thus :"Does it apply to you?" I

You know I've heard the term "Don Juan" only once before in another forum. I do believe that was SoSuave so it's possibly a PUA term.
I have little experience but maybe... just maybe someone is trolling you.

I also concur with AntiTrace, "most psychologists are quacks".
The majority aren't good naturedly getting into psychology for the benefit of ManKind. They are doing it for themselves, for one reason or another, either to sort out their own thoughts or to have the ability to observe and manipulate those around them.

I went to a University that did psychology and to say the least the people doing it were some how broken.
One girl I remember used to give me a fuckin spiel about the psychology behind monogamy and the family unit. Then I'd watch a friend of mine treat her like absolute shit and she'd swallow it whole. Then again, I completely acknowledge I could be talking complete shit.

[MHaes]

(12-29-2013 09:22 PM)soup Wrote:  

Most, if not all, are probably feminists. That's could be a problem for any guys like us if we end up needing a psychotherapist.

Maybe there are redpill ones out there..

Yeah, I can think of a few. Drs. Daniel, Beam, and Williams.

[bacan]

I'll admit that part of my desire to bed may girls comes from a desire to satisfy my ego. Whether that makes me insecure, I don't know. Part of that need probably came from stages of my life when I wasn't always a badass guy who could feel like he could get any girl in any room he's in, like having to make up for that. Some girls that I would have banged earlier in life just for the ego boost of a +1 I wouldn't bang now because I have nothing to prove to myself anymore. Maybe I'm at a higher stage of game and less "insecure" than I was before.

Why someone needed to invent all these stupid terms, I don't know. The most pathetic thing is when someone tries to "coin" a phrase or expression that doesn't catch on, but they end up using it a lot anyway. I've actually seen that before with people I know in some academic fields.

[commiejoe]

(12-29-2013 09:22 PM)soup Wrote:  

Most, if not all, are probably feminists. That's could be a problem for any guys like us if we end up needing a psychotherapist.

Maybe there are redpill ones out there..

Here you go:

Here's an old one:

[xpatplayer]

(12-29-2013 08:02 PM)soup Wrote:  

I was recently talking with a friend who works in psychology about game, and they were saying that it sounded similar to Don Juanism

"Don Juanism or Don Juan syndrome is a non-clinical term for the desire, in a man, to have sex with many different female partners due to his latent homosexuality or insecurity about his masculinity.[1]"

They also brought up the concept of the Oedipal Victor.

The idea behind the victor is a variation of the story Oedipus. The victor is actually able to win the affections of the mother from the father at a very early age and gains great confidence and will be undaunted by future rivals because he's already got his 10 (his mother, the ideal woman). He goes through his life constantly pushing boundaries and supposedly has an unconscious desire to have someone put him in his place (like a longing for a missing father figure).

My friend was saying that it is a fake confidence because it comes from the insecurity.

I mentioned that maybe that doesn't matter because if girls are attracted to his confidence, be it false or whatever, then maybe he doesn't need "real" confidence.

Does happiness come from confidence? I don't think that being happy necessarily makes you more confident.

Does a constant conquest for pussy really point to some kind of insecurity?

I think this is Freud stuff so it's probably outdated, but I thought it was interesting that confidence was recognized as a key aspect of the ladies man's mentality way long ago.

Really great point, Soup. I have always noticed that 'naturals' tend to have great relationships with their mothers.

Happiness comes from contentment. Are you content with what you have? Are you content with the pace you are reaching your goals? Are you content with your relationships? Are you content with your place within society? Happy people tend to be confident, but confident people aren't necessarily happy.

The insecurity depends on your reasons behind pursuing women and whether you let the rejection get into your head. If you are secure with yourself, ie if you consciously (not subconsciously) know yourself, you will be secure. You will know your strengths and weaknesses and you will know what you need to do to keep moving ahead. If you consciously know this, rejection will never get to your head and you will pursue pussy because you like pussy and its pursuit, not because you need to prove yourself to your friends and to yourself.

Personally, I think Freudian analysis is very cynical. It assumes people do things because of flaws in the ways they were brought up. According to Freudian logic, deep inner sadness and misery motivate the most successful people. That being said, I am not a psychologist and my beliefs may not reflect reality, so they must be taken with a grain of salt.