[iknowexactly]

This is a problem I've had for a long time, and I have some ideas how to deal but would appreciate input.

One of my friends who's a natural talked to me about flirting, and I used to bitch about how as a guy I always have to talk to them first.

He said I was complaining too much, that the talking was just a formality, because they pick you out and cue you and actually are usually directing things.

Being dumb ( I really am!) I asked, well, how do you know when they're cuing?

And he hit the nail on the head:

"They invade your space."

Since he told me this noticing it among other things has helped me progress. ( Eye contact, submissive body langage)

But I STILL BLOW IT almost every time they "jump" me, it's so unexpected and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, one of them's inside the three foot zone looking up at me and leering at me ( something like 3 ft, or whatever it is, you can feel it) and -- it's embarrassing to admit this-- I'm really startled by it and generally plod on with non-game routine. I can literally SEE how disappointed they are when I don't take the bait.

Here's the latest story:

Went to a sushi place last night, had my motorcycle stuff on and ordered a take-out order, said I'd go to the store and come back to pick it up.

American-born Asian, maybe 20-24, 8-9. Pretty standoffish, didn't even thank me when I paid in advance for the food. I thought to myself she was quite rude. Dad or older male Asian workers are around.

I go out to the store, drive back into the parking lot, it's raining, and as soon as I'm in view she COMES OUT THE DOOR carrying my stuff. Had to be watching for me with stuff at hand to time it like that.

I get off the bike, snd she comes over all smiles " I thought I'd help you out," huge smile, I thanked her ( rushing, I fucked up and didn't take my helmet off) and picked up the stuff, she continued to hover a spilt second longer, and added " All right?"

..and writer/idiot here fumbled off with the food.....without gaming.

It's just so damn sudden when they go for it, I need to learn how to go in to a routine on autopilot or something...

Ideas? ( Please don't remind me I'm an idiot, I need to know how to be LESS of one. )

As an addendum, I think when you miss a moment like that, your chances go down dramatically. If I see her again, she'll be unsure of herself, it'll be a lot harder. If you do respond right away, she'll associate you with her taking a risk, being rewarded, thus encouraging further risk taking by her...

[rudebwoy]

Who is to say you cannot go back for chinese same time next week.

[iknowexactly]

(12-06-2010 09:28 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Who is to say you cannot go back for chinese same time next week.

That's a decent idea, best one we have at this point, right? Better than going back the next day haha.

[Bad Hussar]

Ha. This was a painful post to read. Have definitely missed several opportunities years ago before I started to better myself.

You are right about it being a lost cause if you miss bleeding obvious clues/come-ons. Sure girls are attracted to men who are aloof and mysterious, but not reacting in any sort of reasoable way when a hot chick on the dance floor is not only dancing in your personal space but actually in you body space (As in rubbing herself against you) is not cool in anybody's book. Or moving accross the floor and starting to dance directly in front of you, close up. These and more happened to me in years gone by and I didn't get the clue. I think I should put down the laptop now and slap myself.

So, for any guys out there as lame as I was. Don't be that guy any more. Do fucking something. Even if you mess up it's better than nothing.

[Rocco81]

We've all done this dude, don't beat yourself up over it. Hell it still happens to all of us at some point. But like anyone will tell you its a law of averages. I see 10 good looking girls in one single day. Sometimes I talk to all 10 depending the mood. 1-3 might not be receptive at all, due to me messing up or coming accross the wrong way or maybe they are just bitches or really are taken. 4-5 might be nice and will be easier to warm up next time I see them (if I see them) but I don't close or seal a date. The other 3-4 will be perfect and I will get digits or follow up meeting or whatever...point is don't dwell on the ones that got away, esp when its your fault. Just learn from it.

I think you should go back. Chances are she feels more awkward than you as I am betting she had her eye on you the first time you walked in the Sushi place. Actually, strangely enough it might be better you just rode off. I'm thinking she feels odd for treating you so cold, and feels she kind of deserved your lack of interest when you rode off.

Next time you go back in, start over again. It might be a cultural thing with the older guys around, so place your order and slide back out to the store again or to use your phone, have a smoke, get some fresh air etc and give her the opportunity to come back out and talk to you. This time you will be better prepared.

[Kona]

(12-06-2010 09:28 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Who is to say you cannot go back for chinese same time next week.

I say so. Sushi's from Japan.

I love Asian girls. You actually played that perfectly. The reason the she was so quiet when you went in the first time was because she wanted you to swoop her. Asian girls cream for guys on motorcycles. It's why she was waiting when you got back. She wanted to see what kind of bike you had. When you left she probably texted "wOw HoT gUY JuSt CamE iN, OMG" to her friends.

You'll see a huge change in her behavior next time you go back. Ask for something that's not on the menu. Here's a website to help you: http://www.sushifaq.com/. Ask why they don't have the specific thing you want, and since they don't have her recommend something similar. Asian girls love to talk about their jobs. A big indicator she's into you with Asians is sideways head tilting, as opposed to playing with the hair. It's almost like they're posing for pictures when they talk. Watch for that.

Again, I love Asian girls. I really hope you wind up banging this one. Please let us know what your plans are, and what happens.

Aloha!

[docsedated]

@ iknowexactly :

" Kick yourself in the Ass or I will do it for you if a girl smiles looking at you and u do not say anything "

Quote from Roosh himself.

and I totally agree with him, we have enough problems having girls respond to us in a positve way, there is no way you should be excused when a girl is receptive and u do not do anything.

I tjink a lot of it comes from your Introverted nature, can be resolved if you make a habit of Chatting up every Girl you see that is bangable, and have a default opener , Hell just extend your hand and say my name is ......

I think you got the point and happy hunting in future.

[MiXX]

(12-07-2010 07:38 PM)Kona Wrote:  

Asian girls cream for guys on motorcycles.

What kind? Harleys, custom choppers, crotch rockets, triumphs or all if the above?

And second, why that kind in particular?

Mixx

[Kona]

(12-07-2010 11:53 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

(12-07-2010 07:38 PM)Kona Wrote:  

Asian girls cream for guys on motorcycles.

What kind? Harleys, custom choppers, crotch rockets, triumphs or all if the above?

And second, why that kind in particular?

Mixx

Crotch rockets. My brother has one and he's always got a viet or J-girl on the back.

When I have them we ride to the hostess bars and always pick-up. There's a few higher-end Asian clubs in Honolulu where I usually have a harder time swooping. You just get the evil-eye from the guys, and you can just feel out-of-place vibe. Girls don't want to be as social with you because of the shit their gonna get about it a few days later from their friends/family. Being a foot taller than everyone in there doesn't help, either. When you fire the engine the girls come outside. Guys will ask you about it too, and it lowers the tension. I had one when I lived in Japan, and noticed the same thing I do here: You attract a dirtier, flashier type of girl on those things. It was hard to ride in Japan, though. Fatter girls don't get in on it because they know they don't fit, and don't want to embarrass themselves.

Why they like them? I don't know. Why do they like Hello Kitty? Maybe there is a lot less of a "biker slut" stigma in Asia.

It's just a great way to get girls out of the bar. The last girl I had on a bike was a Viet and she freaking loved it. At a stoplight all I had to say was "lets go to my house."

Aloha!

[BaronStanley]

I know what you mean. When girls approach you or give strong approach invitations but you are so out of state at the moment that you just fail by either not even approaching. Or if they approached you, you are so startled and like wtf that you just give bad chode short answers and the convo dies when the girl stops trying and leaves. This has sadly happened to me way more than I would like to admit. Mostly back when I was more AFC. But even still, I fuck this up sometimes.

It reminds me of a point The Tim on RSD made. About how, that girl you approach might just be out of state and startled and then she kicks herself after you leave thinking "damn I messed that up, he was cool".

[MiXX]

(12-08-2010 12:19 AM)Kona Wrote:  

(12-07-2010 11:53 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

(12-07-2010 07:38 PM)Kona Wrote:  

Asian girls cream for guys on motorcycles.

What kind? Harleys, custom choppers, crotch rockets, triumphs or all if the above?

And second, why that kind in particular?

Mixx

Crotch rockets. My brother has one and he's always got a viet or J-girl on the back.

When I have them we ride to the hostess bars and always pick-up. There's a few higher-end Asian clubs in Honolulu where I usually have a harder time swooping. You just get the evil-eye from the guys, and you can just feel out-of-place vibe. Girls don't want to be as social with you because of the shit their gonna get about it a few days later from their friends/family. Being a foot taller than everyone in there doesn't help, either. When you fire the engine the girls come outside. Guys will ask you about it too, and it lowers the tension. I had one when I lived in Japan, and noticed the same thing I do here: You attract a dirtier, flashier type of girl on those things. It was hard to ride in Japan, though. Fatter girls don't get in on it because they know they don't fit, and don't want to embarrass themselves.

Why they like them? I don't know. Why do they like Hello Kitty? Maybe there is a lot less of a "biker slut" stigma in Asia.

It's just a great way to get girls out of the bar. The last girl I had on a bike was a Viet and she freaking loved it. At a stoplight all I had to say was "lets go to my house."

Aloha!

Interesting. I myself own a Harley V-Rod, and a Custom Chopper, I get every girl from latina to farmers daughters named billy-jean when I ride, EXCEPT ASIANS, go figure!


Mixx

[CJ]

You've just got to be alert... trust me I struggled with this myself. The best ways to be more perceptive for me was to drink less and go out more. In this case, you know you'll see the girl again, so it's not a total loss.