Quote: (10-29-2013 08:14 AM)cpark Wrote:
I have no problem in approaching and getting a girl to meet on day 2. But on day 2 on the actual date, I don't know exactly what I’m doing wrong that the girl won't see me on day 3.
For example, I take a girl out to a cool lounge. I order drinks. We sit next to each other and I DHV about what I do, travel, my hobbies, make her laugh, etc. I ask her to sit closer which she usually does. The kino is light, for example, holding her hand for a sec, kissing her on the cheek, stroking her back a bit. But no kissing takes place unless she's willing to. I then get into Comfort by talking about her background and mine and finding out things we have in common. At the end of the date, we leave. And that’s it. Afterwards, day 3 becomes very difficult to arrange.
I don’t know but I think I’m not forging a connection and not building enough rapport. I’m lost here. This shouldn't be happening. Let me know what I should or shouldn’t be doing. Thanks.
Things you've done right
1) mastered the MM lingo
2) great initial approach game, if day 2 is easy. She had to be attracted and excited enough to give you her #, and to agree to meet with you again
3) took her for drinks - lighten the mood, light on the wallet generally
Things that you need to improve
- your write ups - there really isn't a whole lot of detail about what she did, and how she reacted. And I'm just going to assume that the 2 of you are Westerners and speak the same language. If you're from Shaanxi province and you're talking a to Beijing chick, what I say might not apply.
Analysis
On Mystery Method
If you can manage to get a # and get her out on the 2nd date, what does that tell us about how the girl thinks of you
- she likes you on some level
- if she's willing to meet a strange man for drinks - "affection" is on the table.
So if you have a chick out and you do go for drinks (ideally close to your apartment/house), and this girl already likes you
Should you
a) go back to your attraction material and DHV
b) focus on building comfort?
Neither.
She's already attracted, no need to regale her with humble brags or drop little bait to see how cool you are.
If she's out with you, she's comfortable enough.
If you're going to run a Jedi Mind Tricks style game like Mystery Method, it's important to know what stage you're in.
I couldn't tell you if you were in Stage 5 or 6, cause I don't run textbook MM, but the real issue here is to assume attraction and assume comfort.
Disclaimer
Now, chicks that I deal with, tend to put me in the "Mr. Right" category, when I want to be in the "Mr. Right Now" category. Keep that in mind. Maybe what I'm going to tell you, is going to have the chick wanting you for the long term, not just for the night.
How you can do Kino
Alright so when you picked the girl up
- did you hug her?
- european style kiss on the cheek greet? (a good way to throw in your travels)
When you were getting to the table, booth, place at the bar,
- did you grab her by the hand?
- walk with your hand in the small of her back ?
As you regaled her with your adventures of finding bugs in your employer's code,
- did you look her in the eye
- did you notice whether or not she was tracking your story and wanting to hear more
- did you touch her shoulder/arm during parts of your stories to emphasize what you were saying
One of my favorite bits is when I start telling a story, especially to a chick, I'll turn away from her directly, and look out to an imaginary stage.
"picture this"
*my hands go wide, like I was cinematographer*
*"inadvertently", one of my hands will land on her forearm*
*I won't notice, but i will continue the story*
Touch barrier - break early, break often, escalate.
Calibration - is she reacting the way that she should to what i do and say
As I tell whatever story about me discovering that I a regular office peon can google for solutions to Microsoft Excel problems and using Visual Basic for the first time - I'm going to look out, and then look to her, and gauge her reactions.
I can make grocery shopping sound like an adventure,
"of course that evil witch grabbed the last good organic tomato...You know how even in a packed grocery store, you keep seeing the same people, and somehow they end up in the line next to you....Granny just so happened to end up IN THE SAME LINE in front of me, again stealing my rightful place. And to add insult to injury, SHE PAID WITH A CHECK. ice grilled her the whole time."
But if a chick isn't trying to jump in and add to the conversation, it doesn't make a difference what you're saying.
So your statements, jokes, and stories have to give her a chance to participate.
The Dual Nature of your Rap - To bring her into your web, to screen her
Indeed, I like to talk about things that anyone can relate to and put their 2 cents in. In fact, I think it's vital, because she's not only screening you to fuck, you're screening her.
If you aren't giving her a platform to expose herself, and talk, she's
- not gonna reveal whether or not she's suitable to kneel before you
- she's not going to invest any effort into the date.
Investment is key. You want them to invest, to be a part of the date. It's not the CPark show, where you are the star and she's just a patron.
Where Things Should Be Moving
So as you do this day 2, and you get some liquor into a girl that already likes you enough to see you on a day 2 - you should be focusing on
- touching her, kino
- getting her to touch you spontaneously
- getting her to listen to you
- getting her to talk to you
Remember, in regular beta dating, it's 2 people going out, feeling each other out during activities. In regular dating, you get lucky. When you have Game, you're specifically doing and saying things for a particular result. You aren't getting lucky, you're creating luck. You're giving her an opportunity to express her "true" self, something few guys ever allow her to do. And I don't mean let her yack and yack about who's the cuter barely legal Kardsashian, but you get her to appear as she only wishes she can appear.
That's stage 1 of the day 2. This is basically reacquainting yourself with a chick, reminding her of why she gave you her # in the 1st place.
Stage 2 - she's an active participant in the date
- you've got good kino going
- you're sitting at the bar, and resting your shin underneath her calf
- she's laughing, she's trying to make you laugh
- she's hitting you on the shoulder
Now the vibe is right for the next steps.
The Turn - when you go from the Pledge but before the Prestige
If you haven't already, that's when you can steer the conversation to topics of "affection"
*blowing dust off the old archives*
This is some 2002 technology, but it should still work today.
"lemme see your hands, I wonder if they're small"
Put your hand up and spread out your fingers. This is the universal sign hand measurement. She'll put her palm against your palm.
*compliance coin picked up*
*kino coin picked up*
"Wow, you've got small hands*
*ambiguous compliment coin unlocked*
*let her defend herself*
"you know what the say about girls with small hands"
She may or may not take your implied sexual bait and say something sexual.
to which you respond
"they make excellent violinists (or pianists - if you're down with NLP)...oh wait, what were you thinking I was going to say....OMG, i'm a devout Muslim, you heathen..." -
*appear mildly but humorously disgusted*
Feigned offense. And I guess you were dark triad, this is playful gas lighting - where basically you react to what she does as if she was a pervert and you're the one being corrupted.
*sexy time talk unlocked*
*tease points on the board*
Now you've got license to indulge in some good double entendre because she's exposed herself as a "slut"
The Prestige - Now that she's into me, what do I do?
From this point,
- attraction was there
- liquor decreased inhibitions
- a playful sexy frame is established
- she's participating
- you're leading the frame
From here, you can build the tension, more kino, more "sexy time" discussion,
Sexy Time Talk Overboard
Nothing too overt - cause bitches can get very clinical with frank discussions of sex. If you're new to the game, hot chicks especially have done some dirt that you don't really want to know about. You're not trying to be Tito Ortiz listening to Jenna Jameson reminisce, you're trying to be Manuel Ferrara.
After she's revealed that Linda Lovelace was her college era hero, you're so on tilt that you're in her frame, and she's not interested in rewarding you with some deep throat because she's won the battle.
If you find yourself listening to her describe some over the top Ava Devine shit, you've got to challenge her and regain the frame. She's in her zone, and I don't know about you, but sex talk from a hot chick can put me off my game.
When you challenge her, I don't mean get morally indignant, or say, "put up or shut up". (though the latter can work - but it's a very typical response)
In typical WIA style, you can attack her motives for telling you how much she likes double anal and her sororities bukkake initiation.
"are you trying to intimidate me or entice me?"
And just let her explain herself. Put her back in the defensive position.
End Game
She's feeling you. It's getting to be that time. Know your logistics and how to bounce from the venue. Trust in your skills to keep her temperature up while you go from place to place. Know that tonight, it doesn't take much to stoke those flames again.
So we're coming to the kiss.
If I don't kiss a chick on day 2, I consider it a failure. Means I didn't warm her up enough, said something off, not enough kino, not enough something. There are chicks that don't like to kiss too soon, in which case you have to an established long game skill. You don't have that, so next a chick that flakes and perpetrates.
But she's kinda hot for you, what should you do now that you're alone and comfortable.
2 schools of thought
- old school - go for the kiss. Use a ruse if you need to (triangular gaze to telegraph your intention, playful thumb wrestling to the "eyes lock")
- new school - more kino, but then don't kiss her until you get to a sex location. I think Tuth came up with this, but if you release the sexual tension at the sex locale, it's much easier to let passion take over, because it messes with the date timeline.
meet, hang, take her home, kiss before she goes up to her flat to tell her roomies about this awesome guy.
The idea behind it, is she doesn't have a natural end point like a normal date, so nothing reminds her to chill, and she can be the woman she wants to be.
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WIA
