Got bored and figured I'd write up an Onion type story to contribute to fat shaming week, enjoy!
Obese Woman Successfully Sues for Not Being Sexually Harassed
Tami Spoon, a single 34 year old woman who, from her OKCupid profile, considers herself "Smart and Sassy With a Little Extra" successfully sued her previous employer for $250,000 in a landmark case for sexual conduct in the workplace.
"Everywhere I go, its the same thing" says Ms. Spoon. "Guys overtly stare at younger thinner women in front of me and force me to overhear their sexist remarks behind the backs of these poor girls like "Nice" and "Gorgeous" in that creepy tone. I'm tired of having to endure the harassment of other women because of my weight. What's crazy is that these women don't even appreciate it when I tell them what pigs these men are for looking at them in this way, it's like they want to be harassed."
Ms. Spoon noted that having to sit back and watch her younger, thinner female co-workers reap all the male attention left her feeling insecure. "These boys that call themselves men really made me feel low, lower than I've felt in a long time. I'd be sitting there telling one of my co-workers, we'll call him Chris, about my morning and about how sick my 4 cats have been for the past two weeks. As soon as one of the girls from PR would walk by I'd see Chris's eyes leave his smartphone that he was busy using while I was pleasently engaging him and immediately lock onto her breasts as she approached from the front. The two would then make brief eye contact as she passed, giving each other this smile as if they were already well acquainted. Its like men can't tell when a woman is just smiling to be nice, and when she is actually interested. Then his eyes would lock on her ass as she passed by. After another 10 seconds of shameless staring at her from behind, his eyes would return to his phone and Chris would act depressed when listening to me finish my story. It's just rediculous to have to be made to feel like a ghost in a supposedly professional environment."
Harriet Lips, a spokeswoman for the Fat Acceptance branch of a Portland Feminist movement known as Proud to be from Portland, Not Porkland relented: "It's a real sign of progress for women of all shapes and sizes. I can't convey what a relief it is that women like Ms. Spoon are fighting back." Proud to be from Portland, Not Porkland became popular among feminists in the Portland area for challenging men not to be intimidated by larger women just because they tend to have higher IQ's than thinner women. "We have organizations in Seattle, San Francisco, and now Toronto that hold weekly conferences for regular members, but the Portland chapter really caught on quick because most women in Portland share the same bodily disease as Ms. Spoon and have to endure this type of non-harassment every single day."
Obese Woman Successfully Sues for Not Being Sexually Harassed
Tami Spoon, a single 34 year old woman who, from her OKCupid profile, considers herself "Smart and Sassy With a Little Extra" successfully sued her previous employer for $250,000 in a landmark case for sexual conduct in the workplace.
"Everywhere I go, its the same thing" says Ms. Spoon. "Guys overtly stare at younger thinner women in front of me and force me to overhear their sexist remarks behind the backs of these poor girls like "Nice" and "Gorgeous" in that creepy tone. I'm tired of having to endure the harassment of other women because of my weight. What's crazy is that these women don't even appreciate it when I tell them what pigs these men are for looking at them in this way, it's like they want to be harassed."
Ms. Spoon noted that having to sit back and watch her younger, thinner female co-workers reap all the male attention left her feeling insecure. "These boys that call themselves men really made me feel low, lower than I've felt in a long time. I'd be sitting there telling one of my co-workers, we'll call him Chris, about my morning and about how sick my 4 cats have been for the past two weeks. As soon as one of the girls from PR would walk by I'd see Chris's eyes leave his smartphone that he was busy using while I was pleasently engaging him and immediately lock onto her breasts as she approached from the front. The two would then make brief eye contact as she passed, giving each other this smile as if they were already well acquainted. Its like men can't tell when a woman is just smiling to be nice, and when she is actually interested. Then his eyes would lock on her ass as she passed by. After another 10 seconds of shameless staring at her from behind, his eyes would return to his phone and Chris would act depressed when listening to me finish my story. It's just rediculous to have to be made to feel like a ghost in a supposedly professional environment."
Harriet Lips, a spokeswoman for the Fat Acceptance branch of a Portland Feminist movement known as Proud to be from Portland, Not Porkland relented: "It's a real sign of progress for women of all shapes and sizes. I can't convey what a relief it is that women like Ms. Spoon are fighting back." Proud to be from Portland, Not Porkland became popular among feminists in the Portland area for challenging men not to be intimidated by larger women just because they tend to have higher IQ's than thinner women. "We have organizations in Seattle, San Francisco, and now Toronto that hold weekly conferences for regular members, but the Portland chapter really caught on quick because most women in Portland share the same bodily disease as Ms. Spoon and have to endure this type of non-harassment every single day."
two scoops
two genders
two terms
