[Days of Broken Arrows]

I know serial monogamy is not a new concept. But what's been making me think lately is how quickly women will jump from one relationship right into the next, as if they're on an assembly line. It seems almost mindless.

I'd seen this with women I broke up with. But I'm really disturbed about it today because a couple I know just ended their engagement and not a week later the woman is "in a relationship." And it's serious. WTF?!?

It's understandable if someone -- male or female -- wants to be a player and just sleep around. That I get. What I don't get is how you can go from one "meaningful" relationship directly into another. They have to be kidding themselves. It's almost as if relationships with these women are a game of musical chairs and if you happen to catch them when their music stops -- bam -- that's the time they're ready to get serious.

This is something I see only with women and not men and I'm wondering if this is just me or have other people noticed this. If women are more likely to do this, it's something younger guys should know about before they get serious with anyone. How serious is it, really? By the way, the woman I referenced above is...36.

[n0000]

Yeh, I see this as coming from the confluence of several factors that are not present in most traditional cultures.

1. Lack of negative feedback from the culture about behaving like a strumpet. In the 1950s any girl who spends decades running through dozens of boyfriends would be considered insane and slutty.

2. Girls don't really think about the long term consequences of their actions.

3. Absolute lack of any kind of male leadership. The fathers and brothers of these girls have the responsibility to tell her she is acting nuts. No male guidance is forthcoming.

These girls don't really consider the consequences of their actions or the long term effects. It is like a kid grabbing for a lollipop. It feels good and they do it. When one relationship ends they are so miserable that they feel like they have to immediately hitch themselves to their next victim. Rinse and repeat.

[Beyond Borders]

(10-07-2013 09:41 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

I know serial monogamy is not a new concept. But what's been making me think lately is how quickly women will jump from one relationship right into the next, as if they're on an assembly line. It seems almost mindless.

I'd seen this with women I broke up with. But I'm really disturbed about it today because a couple I know just ended their engagement and not a week later the woman is "in a relationship." And it's serious. WTF?!?

It's understandable if someone -- male or female -- wants to be a player and just sleep around. That I get. What I don't get is how you can go from one "meaningful" relationship directly into another. They have to be kidding themselves. It's almost as if relationships with these women are a game of musical chairs and if you happen to catch them when their music stops -- bam -- that's the time they're ready to get serious.

This is something I see only with women and not men and I'm wondering if this is just me or have other people noticed this. If women are more likely to do this, it's something younger guys should know about before they get serious with anyone. How serious is it, really? By the way, the women I referenced above is...36.

I've noticed this too. Some women are absolutely shameless with it - they'll even start cheating just before the old relationship ends (before the guy even knows it's over) and then suddenly go through a seemingly-spontaneous breakup and get shacked up with the guy she cheated with directly after.

I honestly feel sorry for some of these women. It's almost as if they cannot contemplate a life that does not involve being "married" to someone. It's definitely more common with women to never have a break in between these relationships. Not sure what it is. Fear maybe. A type of dependency.

Narcissim of some kind? Calling 2wycked. lol

[Dr. Howard]

Well timed. I just sat through a sermon to this effect. Yes, its true, not every church is as 'blue pill' as you're led to believe. The pastor raged specifically against facebook and how the craziest of women has 20 other women 'you go girling' her through the stupidest choices. He then wrapped up with something to the effect of 'if you're encouraging people to just 'be who they are and follow their heart' you're not their friend'.

The end result was 6 women that I could see, aged 18-38 visibly crying. It was awesome, and true that without shame or consequence serial monogamy/hypergamy will just run wild.

Its mind blowing but understandable given the circumstances. I would do the same if there were no consequences for cheating on a woman, positive laws in my favor for divorcing my wife, friends who would all high five me and the luxury of just posting one duck face picture on any dating site and having offers to bang just pour in. In the current american relationship market, men are the illegal immigrants that can be deported at the employers whim. Understand it and adapt.

[bacon]

Well the fact is women are superficial about most things in life especially relationships. From the female friends, coworkers and of course men they are dating rarely is there a deep connection created on their end. This is dificult for men because we usually are only close with other friends who have been screened and gone through experiences with to help bond the friendship. When men enter into sexual relationships with women they find themselves experiencing chemical feelings of love, lust what have you and the male hamster rationalizes that his feeling for the girl is about a "connection" rather than just biology since he is not superficial with other relationships in his life. This is foolish for the men to think that way.

One of the best examples of this is when women say she is looking to get married before say age 30. On the surface that sounds like a noble goal but it is really superficial. What she is really saying is she is looking for a guy, any guy who meets a minimual checklist of requirements to marry her before her 30th birthday. Thus she is not really looking for love but for a husband and the guy she chooses is simply playing the part of husband in the play of her life that she has cast. This might help explain why women are so cavalier about transitioning from one "serious" relationship to the next since the relationship was always superficial.

[Isaac Jordan]

(10-07-2013 09:41 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

I know serial monogamy is not a new concept. But what's been making me think lately is how quickly women will jump from one relationship right into the next, as if they're on an assembly line. It seems almost mindless.

...

It's understandable if someone -- male or female -- wants to be a player and just sleep around. That I get. What I don't get is how you can go from one "meaningful" relationship directly into another. They have to be kidding themselves.

...

This is something I see only with women and not men and I'm wondering if this is just me or have other people noticed this.

Human beings are animals. Literally. We're just really smart apes. And like all other animals, our bodies have ways of getting us to do what's best for our genes (aka survive and reproduce).

Almost all of the time, our bodies do this via emotions. When our bodies require food or water or sleep, they make us feel hungry or thirsty or tired. When we do something "good" for our genes (such as successfully seduce a mate or raise our status within the tribe), they make us feel happy. And when our security is threatened, our bodies make us feel fear.

I think that women, regardless of age, all feel a certain type of fear when they're not in a relationship. It's their body's way of saying, "Hey, something bad could happen at any minute, why haven't you found yourself a man yet?" It might not be very intense, but it's always there, running in the background, constantly reminding her of the unmet need.

It doesn't matter that we live in an advanced civilization with policemen and handguns and pepper spray. Your DNA doesn't know that. You'll still become hungry after 12 hours of fasting, even if you've got a fridge full of food and a grocery store down the street. Your body doesn't comprehend those things. All it knows is you haven't eaten in half a day, so it's motivating you (via specific hormones designed to bring about hunger) to go find food.

Being the weaker sex, it makes sense that ensuring security and provisioning would be a higher priority for women than it would for men, who can either defend/provide for themselves or utilize their social relationships (unlike women and their "frenemies"). So it makes sense that this need for a relationship is so much more pronounced in women than in men. (Combine this need with an innate tendency to "trade up" and you can see why our current dating marketplace is so fucked up.)

I don't think women consider most relationships "meaningless" per say...I view it more as internal programing gone awry. Let's say a woman's biological programming goes something like:

1. Acquire mate
2. Ensure bonding and commitment (i.e. win him over)
3. Extract resources (and protection if needed)

In order for her to successfully execute this plan, she has to behave in certain ways. And in order for her to behave in certain ways, she has to feel certain emotions. So her body lets her feel these emotions, and when the plan has been carried out the emotions subside.

Women don't go into relationships like men sometimes do, thinking with the end in mind. To them, every new relationship comes with GENUINE emotional feelings. Even if it's her tenth wedding, it still FEELS like this guy is "the one," because those feelings are necessary in order for her body to get what it wants (emotional bonding and resource extraction from the man). As biologist Robert Trivers has said, the best way to deceive others is to deceive yourself. The best way to convince a man you love him is to feel like you love him, even if those feelings only last until you've gotten what you want (which is very often the case with married women). These women aren't deliberately dating this way-they're just following their feelings.

(Side note: men experience something similar when they bang questionable or low quality chicks. Before the bang, your emotions blind you to her flaws, and you're genuinely more attracted to her. AFTER the bang, once you've realized your genetic priority, the emotions are no longer needed, and you feel much less enthusiastic towards her than pre-bang.)

[2Wycked]

Sure, I'll jump with my thoughts on serial monogamy.

The main problem is the descent of men as a class. Generations of the past had men who were real men. Who are and were real men? Men who don't aspire to the trappings of masculinity, but actual real, substantive masculinity. We often talk about how much fame matters to women these days, that is because fame is the best proxy for masculinity today: power over the world around you. Having real values that reflect a person who actually wants to be somebody, somebody with real, rock-solid beliefs - strong opinions.

Most men don't actually want real power. They want muscles, but pussy out in a fight or overreact to perceived insults or affronts. They want money, but don't want to put in the work. They want to create great works of art or culture, but can't or won't put in the thousands of hours, if not a lifetime of toiling. Of course, the narcissism is the inability to separate levels of success. Either they are Lebron or they are a bench warmer for the Sacramento Kings.

I often describe men as codependents (betas) but that is a nice way of calling them narcissists. Sure, they aren't clinical narcissists and hope exists for them, but it is dim. How many guys can really last on this forum? Posers always get outed quicker than cat shit because unless you are the world's best bullshitter, you can't fool guys who are actually in the game. Unless, of course, you are a fantastic bullshitter - why are you wasting your time here? Go use your talents legally or illegally.

And that is what exasperates women. They feel they can use and dump men because they don't respect them. Women encounter men who haven't even sniffed the approval of a woman - that is what we are talking about, not sexuality - and instead of guarding their heart or lives, they throw themselves into these relationships with women, lavishing her with attention, flowers and the whole nine yards. Women start to think, quickly, really? It isn't that she has that much value, but what is *his* value? Of course, they can dump and toss these men aside because these men, through their actions and words, signal that they have little value and don't deserve respect.

Now, you can argue and I would agree, our society breeds these men, with single-mother households, female-centric family law approaches and the female strangehold on the educational and childcare institutions, but you would be 100% wrong in the end. These men have to take control of their lives and move forward. No more therapeutic bullshit that we see in the manosphere, where men, apparently, over the course of years if not decades, bitch about the family court system that fucked them, their bitchy ex-wives, etc.

Relationships are bi-directional. If you wife is such a bitch and she cleaned you out in court, what does that say about you? Yes, yes, yes the court system is fucked, but she is a still a bitch. How did you manage the relationship? How did you comport yourself in the wake of the impending divorce? I would ask what *you* did in the relationship. Real men get fucked everyday, but how real men deal with bullshit is what separates the wheat from the chaff.

The main, overarching problem *is* our narcissistic society. We can't take criticism and need all sorts of forms of therapy to survive. Yes, mainstream media is directed at women, but that is because we expect so little out of women because we know women are worse at relationships, friendships and parenting. Our society still expects behaviors out of men that haven't existed for decades and, at this point, generations. This setup *will* fail, the only question is who benefits and who gets shafted and how long this situation plays out. It could be a long winter.

In sum, women still expect men to be men, and that isn't about picking up the check on a date, but being a man of action who has real values above and beyond what women want to be praised and lauded for. If you find yourself identifying with women or putting up something like "Live, love, laugh" in your dining room, read the entire archives of Roosh, Roissy and Rational Male. You need to grow as a man past the self-absorbed self-pitying of women.

TL;DR version: Don't be a woman if you are a man!

[2Wycked]

...

[Barron]

(10-07-2013 09:41 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

I know serial monogamy is not a new concept. But what's been making me think lately is how quickly women will jump from one relationship right into the next, as if they're on an assembly line. It seems almost mindless.

I'd seen this with women I broke up with. But I'm really disturbed about it today because a couple I know just ended their engagement and not a week later the woman is "in a relationship." And it's serious. WTF?!?

It's understandable if someone -- male or female -- wants to be a player and just sleep around. That I get. What I don't get is how you can go from one "meaningful" relationship directly into another. They have to be kidding themselves. It's almost as if relationships with these women are a game of musical chairs and if you happen to catch them when their music stops -- bam -- that's the time they're ready to get serious.

This is something I see only with women and not men and I'm wondering if this is just me or have other people noticed this. If women are more likely to do this, it's something younger guys should know about before they get serious with anyone. How serious is it, really? By the way, the woman I referenced above is...36.

It's a way for women who are too proud to be shady to legitimize being a slut. They're still receiving 2-4 new samples of semen inside them every year - like any regular slut - but since they're "in a relationship" (btw social media really reinforces serial monogamy) this behavior can't technically be sleeping around.