[Videl]

Hi I'm new to pick-up. My usual routine is just go up to girls and talk to them. No fancy pick-up lines or tricks. I say hi, just wanted to talk, ask how her day went, what she likes to do in her free time, and so on.

Of course, sometimes girls don't feel like talking, or me loosing interest after having talked to her because the conversations just doesn't click because of different personality, different interest or something else. If I want to I can still push on the conversation, but after receiving these signals of non-interest, my goal is to depart and look for new targets. I don't want to waste my time.

I have problems with departing. I want it to be least akward as possible. For example, last week I approached a girl in the gym. We talked about work-out methods, supplements, healthy food.. but for some reason I lost interest in her because she was so boring, talked very soft and she was not fun type. We were in the middle of the conversation and I had problems finding a spot in the conversation to say "it was nice talking to you" and depart. How can I create natural exit out the conversation?

[Onto]

I usually say with a smile, "Well, I better get back to it. It was nice chatting with you."

[tylerdurden1993]

You could always check your phone and pretend you've had an important text then say something like oh that's work or another excuse and say I better go but nice chatting to you and either try and get number if you like them or just say bye and walk off

[Dusty]

Have an imaginary friend who you are late in meeting up with.

[Videl]

(09-05-2013 05:10 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

Have an imaginary friend who you are late in meeting up with.

I know, but when you are at the gym and especially at a club, where I do most of my pick-ups, I can't just say "hey I have to meet up with a friend".. obviously she won't believe it.

[Virtus]

how about you study some of those "fancy pick up tricks" cause that is what you're asking for

[Videl]

(09-05-2013 08:30 PM)calihunter Wrote:  

how about you study some of those "fancy pick up tricks" cause that is what you're asking for

I really didn't ask for fancy "tricks"..

[Virtus]

(09-05-2013 04:58 PM)Videl Wrote:  

Hi I'm new to pick-up. My usual routine is just go up to girls and talk to them. No fancy pick-up lines or tricks. I say hi, just wanted to talk, ask how her day went, what she likes to do in her free time, and so on.

Of course, sometimes girls don't feel like talking, or me loosing interest after having talked to her because the conversations just doesn't click because of different personality, different interest or something else. If I want to I can still push on the conversation, but after receiving these signals of non-interest, my goal is to depart and look for new targets. I don't want to waste my time.

umm. You're on a pick up forum. Don't waste yours or anyone else's time either. go get "Bang" or "Day Bang" or a million of canonical other books and learn to have more fun interactions with people. all the entrance and exit points are there too. you don't owe anyone, especially a girl in a set that is going south, an apology for leaving the convo. Especially if it's a bad boring one. Cause guess what.. You're not likely having another conversation with these girls. As always. when you are in a conversation you should leave on the high note. which allows you to come back or lets other people feel the good energy

or just watch some Simple Pickup on youtube or something

[Videl]

(09-06-2013 01:28 AM)calihunter Wrote:  

(09-05-2013 04:58 PM)Videl Wrote:  

Hi I'm new to pick-up. My usual routine is just go up to girls and talk to them. No fancy pick-up lines or tricks. I say hi, just wanted to talk, ask how her day went, what she likes to do in her free time, and so on.

Of course, sometimes girls don't feel like talking, or me loosing interest after having talked to her because the conversations just doesn't click because of different personality, different interest or something else. If I want to I can still push on the conversation, but after receiving these signals of non-interest, my goal is to depart and look for new targets. I don't want to waste my time.

umm. You're on a pick up forum. Don't waste yours or anyone else's time either. go get "Bang" or "Day Bang" or a million of canonical other books and learn to have more fun interactions with people. all the entrance and exit points are there too. you don't owe anyone, especially a girl in a set that is going south, an apology for leaving the convo. Especially if it's a bad boring one. Cause guess what.. You're not likely having another conversation with these girls. As always. when you are in a conversation you should leave on the high note. which allows you to come back or lets other people feel the good energy

or just watch some Simple Pickup on youtube or something

I'm a newbie, yes, but I never said I didn't read day bang. I even made reference to the book so you could figure out I read it.

The problem I have with day bang is that it is not always possible to find a non-personal topic to talk about and even if there is a something. Not every non-personal topic in your surrounding is a good topic if you want to pick-up because it is unnatural to switch from non-personal to personal.

For example, if I stop a girl to ask for directions, how can I switch that into an approach? Even if I manage to pull that off, she will know later on that it was not really about asking directions but just me approaching her to pick her up. Not that there is nothing wrong with that but it says something about your personality. It is rather better approach to do a direct approach instead of using non-direct model described in daybang.

[Virtus]

"hey there, do you know where the closest starbucks is?" -- she : " blah blah blah" -- you : "Oh I'm sorry, i actually meant that i saw you passing by and though you were gorgeous an that I would kick myself for not saying something to talk to you.. did not think of anything better right away. I'm Videl"

[Virtus]

(09-06-2013 01:54 AM)Videl Wrote:  

Even if I manage to pull that off, she will know later on that it was not really about asking directions but just me approaching her to pick her up. Not that there is nothing wrong with that but it says something about your personality. It is rather better approach to do a direct approach instead of using non-direct model described in daybang.

aand what is it saying about you? would you not rather know faster?

https://thepiratebay.sx/tag/simple+pickup+project+go

download some and watch. if you like it give Kong some money

[XXL]

(09-06-2013 01:54 AM)Videl Wrote:  

We were in the middle of the conversation and I had problems finding a spot in the conversation to say "it was nice talking to you" and depart. How can I create natural exit out the conversation?

when you are at the gym and especially at a club, where I do most of my pick-ups, I can't just say "hey I have to meet up with a friend".. obviously she won't believe it.

"excuse me gotta go to the bathroom" [club or gym]

(09-06-2013 01:54 AM)Videl Wrote:  

The problem I have with day bang is that it is not always possible to find a non-personal topic to talk about and even if there is a something. Not every non-personal topic in your surrounding is a good topic if you want to pick-up because it is unnatural to switch from non-personal to personal

you can pick anything about her and comment on that or ask a question. choose anything from her appearance or demeanor and riff off that. she wears red shoes. go "hey! nice shoes, you look like elf in those, i want to be elf too, where can i by those?". she responds. you misinterpret it, flirt and go from there.

IMO the most important thing to remember is that anything you say is just an excuse to meet each other and lead. never be attached to the one course of action you choose at first. never feel that you have to stick to the style you use to break the ice. it's just an excuse for her to make her more comfortable and contribute/invest. that's why they made up all those jealous GF openers etc, to give girls smart ass excuse [safe non threatening and interesting question] to start an interaction and bait them to talk back. once it hooks you have PLENTY of options and material to use to lead in whatever direction you want.

you can start with indirect and switch to direct in seconds. girls don't logically keep up with what you say. they just react to whatever is happening in front of them and feel you or not.

you ask "hey do you know where X street is?". she starts to respond. you cut her off in the middle of sentence with curious look on your face saying "hey you know what? you make funny face expression when you're confused, that's adorable, who are you girl?". she giggles. you're flirting now. she forgets about your opener. you talk to her like you're curious/interested in her.

i can write long ass detailed post about direct/indirect romance if you like.

[XYZ]

(09-06-2013 05:34 PM)XXL Wrote:  

you ask "hey do you know where X street is?". she starts to respond. you cut her off in the middle of sentence with curious look on your face saying "hey you know what? you make funny face expression when you're confused, that's adorable, who are you girl?". she giggles. you're flirting now. she forgets about your opener. you talk to her like you're curious/interested in her.

i can write long ass detailed post about direct/indirect romance if you like.

have you found a difference in results with going from indirect to direct or the opposite, direct to indirect?

[Videl]

(09-06-2013 05:34 PM)XXL Wrote:  

(09-06-2013 01:54 AM)Videl Wrote:  

We were in the middle of the conversation and I had problems finding a spot in the conversation to say "it was nice talking to you" and depart. How can I create natural exit out the conversation?

when you are at the gym and especially at a club, where I do most of my pick-ups, I can't just say "hey I have to meet up with a friend".. obviously she won't believe it.

"excuse me gotta go to the bathroom" [club or gym]

(09-06-2013 01:54 AM)Videl Wrote:  

The problem I have with day bang is that it is not always possible to find a non-personal topic to talk about and even if there is a something. Not every non-personal topic in your surrounding is a good topic if you want to pick-up because it is unnatural to switch from non-personal to personal

you can pick anything about her and comment on that or ask a question. choose anything from her appearance or demeanor and riff off that. she wears red shoes. go "hey! nice shoes, you look like elf in those, i want to be elf too, where can i by those?". she responds. you misinterpret it, flirt and go from there.

IMO the most important thing to remember is that anything you say is just an excuse to meet each other and lead. never be attached to the one course of action you choose at first. never feel that you have to stick to the style you use to break the ice. it's just an excuse for her to make her more comfortable and contribute/invest. that's why they made up all those jealous GF openers etc, to give girls smart ass excuse [safe non threatening and interesting question] to start an interaction and bait them to talk back. once it hooks you have PLENTY of options and material to use to lead in whatever direction you want.

you can start with indirect and switch to direct in seconds. girls don't logically keep up with what you say. they just react to whatever is happening in front of them and feel you or not.

you ask "hey do you know where X street is?". she starts to respond. you cut her off in the middle of sentence with curious look on your face saying "hey you know what? you make funny face expression when you're confused, that's adorable, who are you girl?". she giggles. you're flirting now. she forgets about your opener. you talk to her like you're curious/interested in her.

i can write long ass detailed post about direct/indirect romance if you like.

That is a great post. I would love to read your detailed post about direct/indirect.

[Virtus]

if you go from direct to indirect then the pussy dries up

[XXL]

(09-07-2013 07:42 AM)Videl Wrote:  

I would love to read your detailed post about direct/indirect.

be my guest.

ATTENTION: this is just my point of view. i have no intentions of starting endless and pointless debates on who's right and who's wrong. this is all i got to say on the topic of direct vs indirect vs whatever funky permutations there are

the first thing to keep in mind at all times is that the way you come across to people in general is mostly sub communicated between the verses regardless of what you say and style you choose. this is like the golden rule. basically, there are 2 layers of communication, superficial [words] and deeper one [everything beyond words]. you convey the most about yourself through second layer. those two layers usually don't have to communicate the same thing.

examples...

daytime on the street. i was hanging out with my buddy few days ago. i looked pretty fly then. he suddenly chats up one girl standing near us and asks her if look like a gangster or like total gay. fucker so according to the pickup theory it was classic indirect approach deluxe, just a question, no interest expressed. cool. then i told her with breaking rapport tonality "yeah how do i look? tell me, don't worry, i promise i won't be offended, just tell right.. in.. the.. face" and i froze and looked straight into her eyes. she started looking me up and down. i got a bit closer saying "here i'll help you". lazer eyes were still there. she giggled a bit and said "you look good". no shit. we looked at each other in silence for few seconds. after that pause i smiled and said "i love you, you're so nice to me, i finally found someone nice, let me shake you hand" and i did hand of god [hand out, palm up]. she grabbed in. i pulled her a bit closer still lazer eye contact. she giggled more. i saw her getting surprised/confused so i addressed that "it's fine don't worry i don't have swine flu". she laughed. i said "what are you doing here all alone, dont you know that it's dangerous to talk to strangers?" and we started to bullshit about normal stuff. she i liked somthing that she told me and said "damn, you're such a down to earth person, i got some good news for you, you're my girlfriend for today". more giggles with some verbal resistance etc. "when will we go on our 1st date?" she said she didn't know me. "not adventure enough, i was wrong about you, you're not my type.." and little drama started. then i playfully pushed her away cause we broke up. then it switched to indirect cause i become aloof now and i talked to her over the shoulder. etc etc.

ok. what was it, direct game of indirect game? kind of both. compare verbal content [superficial] with the vibe i put off then [deeper layer]. they signaled completely different things. in fact it was just PLAYFUL interaction [if you have t label it]. i [actually it was my buddy] got her attention with some weird completely out of the blue question. then i kept her attention with our presence, like just being there interacting with her and talking nonsense. after she answered his question i could have said anything, like, "interesting, that means you must like chocolate ice cream don't you?" and carry on with that. and like it's like, wtf is this right? completely unrelated stuff being said. but still all good.

other random real life examples...

bus stop. me with 4 buddies walk by one bus stop where 3 girls sit. i found ID that day before so i decided to go in and ask if they know that person. i asked. they answered. indirect as fuck. i ask "what are you doing here? there is no bus you will wait here forever". discussion started. girls accused me of lying. they're hooked. then i was pure teasing teasing teasing like "but you can try hitchhiking.. if you can.. do you even know how to stop a car? can you lure a male driver to stop for you?. she qualified. i pushed it more "ok show me.. pff yo suck at it! do you know how to be sexy? come on woman!". then some more flirting followed after which i toned it down and we started talking. we pulled them all to our crib to drink.

and..

me and my crew hung out outside some small shop drinking beer. 3 girls walked by us and entered the shop. when they walked outside i immediately pointed at the one say "you.. i love you.. come to us, it's cooler than where you're going" and slowly reached out my hand. girls giggled. the girl took my hand. i held onto strongly and waved it up and down like kids sometimes do. i said "look how cute we look together. everybody here is green with envy". chit chat started. i started screening playfully with stuff like "can you dance?" or "what are you gonna cook for me today?". the girl of course plays hard to get and doesn't jump through my hoop. but i knew that beforehand. that was actually my hoop to make her disagree so i could tease her and push away. "fine! we're broken" dropping her hand. her friends had time of their life. they engaged in roleplay too. i became aloof and blase playing the super skeptic one. almost negging her. can we say.. indirect? but all of that roller coaster was just part of the overall fun. how could switching from direct frame to aloof frame mess up anything? it's impossible. it's just another situation that takes place, another emotion she feels. great.

ok, so what does it all mean?

it means that you don't have to choose one style and obey its principles. in fact, you can just forget all those fucking labels and simply flirt with girls without feeling contrived by methods. be into them then push them away or the other way around. on and off. after all, an interaction is dynamic frame clash that happens in real time. it can start straightforward then switch to casual in a second, back and forth. it may not make sense for pickup eggheads but in real life it's fine. girls don't logically keep up with what is happening. they just react to what is happening in front of them whether it makes sense or not. so you can be into her then get indifferent cause she says some retarded shit. then compliment how cute she looks when she's angry. all you do is just playfully molding the interaction in a way you feel like...

the second thing to remember is that, whatever you do you still have to lead the interaction to a certain waypoint when you openly tell that you like her for her so that she feels you choose for reasons other than her looks. the key thing here is leading. no matter how you game you always have to lead that interaction conversationally, physically and logistically so that the girl knows it's going down and wants it to go down. and here is the problem cause there are massive misconceptions about both methods in terms of leading. indirect fans love it because view it as safe endless chit chat about nothing without letting girls know what is going down. direct fans love it because they imagine it as stating their interest from the get go, waiting for green light from DTF girls and moving on when they don't get it. both miss the leading part. let's look...


INDIRECT

wack indirect is just like you describe, that the guy asks for directions then talks about random stuff like drinking some coffee in columbia etc which sounds cool but in general it's nothing but a random chit chat and because the girl stays there and looks entertained so it's clearly "going well" so it's time for asking for [pity] phone number which is based on nothing that has anything to do with them both. and then girls flake like fucking crazy. what happenend? it's just a chat. maybe interesting one even. but there is no purpose behind it. no leading. no mutual "agreement" to take it further. i have lots of those casual and polite chit chats with random people and i don't expect them to go anywhere.

example:
- excuse me do you know how to get to the xyz place?
- umm yeah wait ok i know you should go...
- oh cool cause you know i have to buy this shirt that fits me can yo recommend a color?
- she recommends a color
- oh really that's interesting cause when i was in mexico..
- aha, really?
- yes, can you imagine? so anyway where did you buy this dress it looks classy
- i bought it in xyz store they have men's clothes also, you should check them out
- oh really, cool, i was thinking about button down with...

and it's just endless convo about some clothes, no spark, no real connection, just two random people chit chat, she enjoys it, it's nice and polite conversation but the longer that "wall of politeness" lasts the more irrelevant you become as a potential sexual partner to her. and then you take her phone. what for? to talk about fashion?

cool indirect has a purpose behind all of the initial insincere nonsense. the whole point of initial aloof/casual chit chat is to go in sort of undercover, attract her enough and bait her to convey her personality to you so you can tell her you like her for legitimate reason, whether you like it or not. so at first you can use any indirect bullshit you want as an excuse to start conversation and seduce the girl. and to seduce the girl she has to know 1) you like her and 2) that she's somewhat special to you. in other words indirect game should turn into direct game quite soon: at first you're just social flirty yet uninterested until she qualifies herself beyond her looks at which point you become interested in her and floor the fucking gas.

example:
- excuse me do you know how to get to the xyz place?
- umm yeah wait ok i know you should go...
- you're not sure are you? why are you trying to lie to another tourist? you mean girl you [she's opened, fuck the excuse, flirting starts]
- no no haha I just...
- hey it's fine you can just say you don't know i won't tell nobody beside my 1000 imaginary facebook friends so, you're going to to be famous haha
- oh no no haha i really know where it is but..
- too late, [sing the chorus] it's too late to apologise, it's too laaaaate.., are all [the country] girls like you?
- haha like what?
- like a little adorable monsters trying to get rid of annoying outsiders?
- noooo we're lovely..
- yeah yeah you make cute face expression when you're confused, makes me want to hug you like my teddy bear, you can be my teddy bear the second, you can't beat the first one
- i have teddy bear too! of course i can...
- are you kidding me? really? did you really think i had a fucking teddy bear? jeeez you're so easy, i can't even hang out with you! who are you girl? what's your name?
- jessica
- oh fuck no please not another jessica.. hi i'm name, nice to meet you, i don't know about you why but i'm having time of my life talking to you, how do you do it? you're complete stranger it's weird but i feel so comfortable [qualifying starts, notice it's it's bit irrational here, it's just a feeling of being comfortable, it's fine for start]
- i know right? it's so unusual, but why you don't like my name..
- i've been emotionally tortured by one, never mind, ok so do you have a 10 minutes? let's sit there..
[now you switch to normal talking and getting to know each other when you can you qualify her more for whatever reason you want. so you convey you like her because of emotion not her appearance. if she's ok then tell you want to see her again cause you're curious and she's tempting, etc]

on the other hand you can stay indirect aaaaaaaaaaaaall the way to the bedroom but that is like the biggest highwire act of a decade cause you have to keep pushing her away and disqualifying yourself until she escalates on you. too nerve wrecking to be honest

DIRECT

wack direct is this cartoonish like "numbers game" aka the guy goes in "giving all his power away" and tells a girl a compliment and sits there passively waiting for her green light like a dog and when she's not down then he moves on. it's crazy. girls are not accustomed to being approached that way and have no idea what to do in this situation. so how can one even think of waiting for her to lead? NEVER count on her to move interaction forward. it's up to you. it can't stop after breaking the ice moment.

example:
- hey hi i just saw you and i had to tell you that you look very nice today, what's going on, big date?
- whoa.. ok.. umm... thanks? [surprised, confused, stiff]
- i mean.. really.. [seeking reaction moment].. so.. [shit.. did it work?] what are you doing now?
- i'm going to visit my friend [still not knowing how to handle it]
- oh cool.. so..

cool direct is when the guy breaks the ice by letting her know what he likes something about her, calibrates a bit to her reactions with some empathy and if she stays he keeps flirting/leading until she qualifies herself beyond her looks at which point he conveys his interest and floors the fucking gas.

example:
- hey! white dress, yes you, hi, who are you [break rapport]
- huh? me?
- yes you hi! shh.. 2 seconds.. listen.. i looked at you just once and wanted to tell you that i'm sure as hell that with your beautiful hair and my beautiful eyes our babies will look amazing. [creative compliment/fun]
- omg haha no thanks that's hell of a compliment
- yeah i know but it's true.
- i don't know..
- yeah i got an offer for you that you can't refuse, let's go make some. now [playfull challenge, of course she will deny]
- haha what?! we can't....
- yeah i know what you mean, i also think that you can be some kind of psycho girl, my good buddy went on a date with one so i now have dating anxiety, are you normal, don't lie! [teasing/accusing/challenging/playfull]
- what?! i am normal in fact you just approached me out of the blue, so you might be the crazy one...
- that's true, that's why we're going to meet each other again, to find out for real, if we're similar then we will combine our forces and make army of crazy little babies [empathy/fun/leading]
- hahah you're crazy...
- that's nothing, you want crazy me? huh? before i'll show you, what's your name? [attraction is there/toning it down]
- name
- i'm name, ok well since you seem like like my type of a girl.. oh shit i hope you're not acting, oh shit are you an actress?! [qualifying but with a little "but" at the end]
- no never been but maybe one day who knows...
- ok cool thank god i have bad memories, i was emotionally destroyed by one once, ok let's chill or else we will explode together, how's your day going? [qualifying more, starting to connect by telling little stories from life, leading physically]

also, notice how both ways [cool versions] are quite similar and lead to the same point where it's same game from there. all you do at first is give her some bullshit she can rationalize to contribute so you can move it forward. asking a question or telling a compliment are both nothing more than just bunch of excuses to meet each other. i think this is the most interesting part. i mean when you simply OWN the fact that you're there to MEET her then you feel like you can just talk about whatever and "be like water" cause you're unattached to any kind of method/script.

good exercise to get that feeling is to fuck around with your buddies by giving each other openers to break the ice with. they give you some silly thing to say like "my grandma pokes me on facebook every single day, is she crazy or what?" so then you really FEEL how flexible and unattached from your content you have to be to pull it off and carry on the convo on the fly. or let's say they give you "you're so beautiful you're almost ugly". you go in and she doesn't feel it. it's not over. you can back off a bit, empathize with her [oh sorry i didn't know you're in the middle of a bad day], immediately change topic [omg you wear those shoes my niece's been looking for, how could you!] and she goes "what?!" and is focused on her shoes now. and in the middle of that conversation you don't analyze whether you should be direct or indirect now or 35% of this and 65% of that. you just flirt with the girl. make it fun. tone it down. qualify. move it forward or suggest meeting again.

CHEERS!!