[Urban Renaissance Man]

Ok, here's a thought that has been on my mind for a while now. As a black man, I have to admit that I have seen many black guys complimenting and basically just ego boosting women just a little too much! I have to say that many of these women don't even deserve this level of praise, with many times only being 6 to 7 in physical status! I think the problem this creates is women who have a very much over-inflated ego and sense of importance. I've noticed that many of the most attractive black women are nearly impossible for an average black man to get with, especially when their young. Yet I've seen many average looking white guys or Hispanic men with above average looking women. I think this because the amount of praising black men give our beautiful black women. Also, when I do notice a Hispanic or white women with a serious ego or 'too god for you' attitue, many times these women have been approached my numerous black men comparing them to Heidi Klum or Jessica Alba! I feel as black men, we are helping these women become the very things we hate in women! I think it messes up the game for ALL men but especially black men because these women get a different, special treatment from black men, so they start to develope a different rating scale for the black men they meet. Every time a black male at a level 8 1/2, gasses up a white or hispanic woman, 6 1/2, it totally destorts the curve! Black guys need to stop doing this. Not only to our own women but women of other nationalities as well. I know there is an exotic factor to having a white or Hispanic women on your arm, but making a 6 think she's an 8 doesn't help matters. It makes it hard on everyone! Am I the only one who feels this way, or do others share my opinion?

[MiXX]

It's not just black men IMO - Cuban/Colombian men do the same thing. Cubans/Colombians as an opener or approach will flat out tell an average (or hot) woman how fine she is, and how he would love to have one shot at winning her good grace - and she has not said one word yet! However, she is immediately thinking to herself how high value she is w/o having earned any of it.

IMO, any man who tells an average looking girl she is super fine/hot or whatever does not really mean it. He is just going on a dry spell, and has gotten desperate, so he starts to flatter the shit out of an average girl hoping it leads to sex quickly. It's not a race thing, but an act of desperate measures to get laid now thing- by a man of any race. Desperate times makes men believe that attacking a womans ego wil lead her to drop her panties, its not the case - prey on a womans emotions, and her panties will drop.


Any man that is banging hot women on a regular basis (at minimum 2 girls a week) will not even bother with an average girl, much less compliment her physical body as an opener/approach.



Mixx

[Menace]

Not directly on topic, but here's something I observed one night on the Metro, involving some thug-type black guys. I didn't catch the start of the interaction, but a couple of black girls blew off three guys and switched seats to a position across from me. These three guys, after some rumbling and grumbling, went straight up to these girls, sat around like they owned the place and began some direct ass questioning. "what's your name shorty?" etc. No fear. Did not care who or what was watching or listening. While their game was crap, the confidence was impressive (to me).

[MiXX]

(10-15-2010 01:38 PM)Menace Wrote:  

Not directly on topic, but here's something I observed one night on the Metro, involving some thug-type black guys. I didn't catch the start of the interaction, but a couple of black girls blew off three guys and switched seats to a position across from me. These three guys, after some rumbling and grumbling, went straight up to these girls, sat around like they owned the place and began some direct ass questioning. "what's your name shorty?" etc. No fear. Did not care who or what was watching or listening. While their game was crap, the confidence was impressive (to me).

This would have worked if they bothered to start of right. NEVER start a conversation with a target asking her what her name is - her name is "get lost creep" is what you'll get.

The first thing they should have done is put her fears to rest - these women moved because they sensed danger.

Then again, 3 against 2 is a big no-no. Too much for girls to handle, especially by thug looking guys. One guy should have approached while the others left him alone...but then again, I have learned that thugs are cowards. They never do shit alone, that would expose their own fears.


Mixx

[Chaz]

Menace,
You said, "the confidence was impressive" with those guys on the Metro. But if you think that type of confidence was impressive, you should check out MiXX's thread on supermarket game. Now THAT is impressive!!

[Urban Renaissance Man]

[quote='MiXX' pid='29436' dateline='1287167503']
"It's not just black men IMO - Cuban/Colombian men do the same thing. Cubans/Colombians as an opener or approach will flat out tell an average (or hot) woman how fine she is, and how he would love to have one shot at winning her good grace - and she has not said one word yet! However, she is immediately thinking to herself how high value she is w/o having earned any of it."

Not to start a race war but for the most part Colombians and Cubans are basically black! Also, I'm speaking to the men who affect us Americans here at home the most. Plus, I'm speaking as a black man, who is directly affected by all this gassing up of American women. We already know how the media glorifies women in general, we as men need to limit this behavior!

[iknowexactly]

OP-- You may be right about "compliment inflation"-- that guy may be tending to spoil a woman by complimenting too much.

But to me the obvious reply is-- mating is the OPPOSITE of altruism. Each male, theoretically, is trying to "outbid" ( whether with game, money or whatever else) other males.

So in the aggregate development of game in a culture, isn't compliment inflation exactly what one would expect to happen- even though it's not top level game, when you say ANYTHING you've "outbid" 98% (?) of guys

Thanks for pointing this out, you've highlighted the reality of "compliment inflation." One could extrapolate this to how wealth works in First World countries-- I have a 100k job in California and am not viewed as even upper middle class due to little assets.

I could easily support a wife + kids with health insurance, job security, but what little attention I get from women is due to my looks. That level of secure income means nothing here. "Woman cost inflation" is the general theme...

[Caramel Communist]

Vanity is opportunity to take advantage of...a women that hears that is break dancing....now if she's a 9-10 I would never tell her how beautiful she is beuz every guy she's passed has told her from elementary school to adulthood...that's just a ego b.j. for her...

But the vanity card is best played during the day and not at nightclubs/lounges...I think it's more location than use....

[Urban Renaissance Man]

(10-15-2010 05:41 PM)Caramel Communist Wrote:  

Vanity is opportunity to take advantage of...a women that hears that is break dancing....now if she's a 9-10 I would never tell her how beautiful she is beuz every guy she's passed has told her from elementary school to adulthood...that's just a ego b.j. for her...

But the vanity card is best played during the day and not at nightclubs/lounges...I think it's more location than use....

True, but someone with standards really shouldn't be trying to talk at girls outside of the 7 1/2 anyway. Plus, I'm not sure if the complimenting slightly above average women actually helps your situation. They get used to hearing these things and don't respond positively to it because for one, they hear it so much, and two, subconsciously they know it isn't true! Plus, there is ways to hit on a girl without giving her unwarranted compliments!

[iknowexactly]

[quote] (10-15-2010 05:50 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  

[quote='Caramel Communist' pid='29465' dateline='1287182470']
Vanity is opportunity to take advantage of... I'm not sure if the complimenting slightly above average women actually helps your situation. They get used to hearing these things and don't respond positively to it because for one,[/quote]

For a RAFC like me, I like doing it for a couple reasons.

1) I like girls who are not really aware of their attractiveness, who are often unconventionally pretty. They may not get flattery very much, but they like it when someone thinks they're hot.

2) If they know they're hot and it really affects how they act, that is sort of a turn-off for me. I like 9-10's, but besides the fact I'm too old to easily get them in the USA, I like the ones that play it down with tomboy clothes, minimal makeup, flat shoes-- because they are the type of girl that LIKES DOING something to win a prize ( run, bike sail, whatever) instead of passively BEING a prize.( Teetering on high heels, long nails precluding balls-out mountain biking, time and energy focused on superficialities like shopping, highly stylized grooming.)
("Spoil me. I'm worth it.") So they try to make themselves look plain, and when someone compliments them, at least it's about how they really look, haha.

3) When we're taliking level of game, yeah, maybe overt compliments aren't top of the line, but as I mentioned saying ANYTHING (opening at all) puts you ahead of 97% of guys ( usually including me. )

4) I feel if done right it shows you're not intimidated by her. She's cute. Big deal. LIke Style said to Jessica Alba on The Late Show, something like "Beauty is common, but why would you be a good person to know?"

It was money, you could see her looking slightly shocked and set back, but she gamely tried to come up with some personality characteristics including "loyalty" to make herself seem like something beside a stuffed doll.

[Urban Renaissance Man]

It's really a touchy situation. I mean, on one had you should compliment the girl you're after, so that she at least knows you're interested and to give her some mild flattery. I'm just talking about the over flattery that a lot of guys do. The hand cuffing, the over the top descriptions of her beauty, etc. Those are counter productive. They not only hurt the guys chances who are offering her the compliments, but also any guys approaching her in the future.

[Rocco81]

I am with iKnow here....a chick that is cute or kind of unconventionally sexy I will compliment because she might know she is hot.. I almost never ever ever compliment an obviously pretty girl, because she gets it all the time and not only do I NOT want to boost her ego further, it also just sounds lame and needy.

[Urban Renaissance Man]

(10-20-2010 02:22 PM)Rocco81 Wrote:  

I am with iKnow here....a chick that is cute or kind of unconventionally sexy I will compliment because she might know she is hot.. I almost never ever ever compliment an obviously pretty girl, because she gets it all the time and not only do I NOT want to boost her ego further, it also just sounds lame and needy.

The problem with doing too much complimenting or mediocre women is that believe it or not, they receive more compliments than pretty women! Most men are rather scary when it coems to girl, so when they do work up the courage to go after a female, it's usually one whom they think they have the best odds with. The mediocre women. Guys who are not so good looking go after these women because they feel their odds are better to be well received by a girl they feel isn't that far off their level. Very nice looking guys also approach these women because they feel these mediocre women will be grateful to be with them, and make the capture less difficult! These mediocre women actually have guys approaching them from all sides! Your odds are better actually complimenting a beautiful woman, who believe it or not might not receive as many compliments, due to guys being afraid to approach her!

[Thorne]

guys I mentioned this on another thread already but I think we need to be more sensible and selective so we don't overinflate women's value too much:

Imagine the Nash Principle from the movie a Beautiful Mind actually applied to women (Nobel price stuff):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAJDD1_Oexo

and also on compliments I read somewhere and totally agree that you should NEVER compliment 8-10's on their beauty, because that isn't a choice for them, they were just born with it and they heard it all before. Most of them unconsciously even hate their beauty because they think it's all people ever see in them. If it has to happen, try to make it on something you can tell she took the effort to choose (shoes, job, hobbie, major, etc). Even for just being original you will have better chances (I think all women respond well to originality).

For 6-8's could work but never overdoing it, it always has to follow the push/pull principles. You just don't give away rewards if she hasn't earned them. If you do, she will think you're a douche and never respect you, let alone feel attracted.

[MiXX]

Funny thing about beautiful women, and I mean Maxim Cover model beautiful.....they are the FRIENDLIEST women to approach. Of course, given that you approach her like a human being and not with a stupid line of how beautiful you think she is.

I went out with G-Trooper this weekend to specifically test this theory on girls in Miami Beach.

Every average girl (5) who was about 20+lbs overweight would immediately act like a total bitch when we approached. Then, we would look for girl with 6-packs abs and incredible bodies, and approach them.

True story: all the model 10's would smile and most even THANKED us for approaching them. While the fatties and average 5's would tell us to fuck-off by rolling their eyes at us, and even walking away form us as we approached. What the fuck is all that about? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Nope....incredibly beautiful girls RARELY get approached by strange men. Average girls get approached 10x per day by desperate betas who are sexually frustrated.

Hey G-trooper, remember that 18 year old, smokin' model 10 girl from Italy with a prefect body? I bet you'll never forget how grateful she was I approached.


Mixx

[Moma]

One of you guys said that saying anything is better than 98 percent of the people.

In my experience, based on where I grew up, I found that black guys opened up on women (black or otherwise) ALL the time. I lived in a very hungry area and those who sat back and faltered did not eat (fcuk).

I used to be one of those who used to think that what women said were true i.e. they like men who are gentlemen, pay for the dinner when they go out..rah rah rah.

Only when I found it wasn't working and I was getting hornier and hornier and more and more bitter, I thought, fcuk it, I can't feel any worse than I feel going home horny hoping that the lizard will see through to my integrity and throw me some sympathy pussy.

Not happening. I thought lesser mortals fcuking and discarding women that I would have been happy to get a hug and a kiss from.

So I stepped the fcuk up.

My point is, the black guys that I know, have been doing this shytt from waaay back.

To the OP, you say black guys compliment black women too much. How are they going to get the women otherwise then?

I went on a date recently with a black woman. Gauging from her behaviour, she thought she was a certain something or whatever...

She seemed surprised that I wouldn't pay for dinner on the date. I did not comment on her body etc since I am certain she was used to Toronto guys telling her she is all that and a bag of chips.

She complimented me on one of my features..I did not return the compliment.

She has not called me since Sunday night..I invited her out to catch a flick..

My prediction..she has probably written me off because I refuse to dance her tune...

This is not an isolated case.

I didn't dance to her tune and I still lost (even though I don't give much of a shyt)..what's your answer, OP?

[hydrogonian]

Quote:

I have to admit that I have seen many black guys complimenting and basically just ego boosting women just a little too much! I have to say that many of these women don't even deserve this level of praise, with many times only being 6 to 7 in physical status! I think the problem this creates is women who have a very much over-inflated ego and sense of importance.

This has to be true based on the personalities of the black women that I have known and dated.

However, I think that it starts when they are very young, because the narcissism is present to such an exaggerated extent that it seems to be e very deep rooted part of who they are. It effects how they value themselves and creates a profound sense of insecurity masked by extreme outward (overinflated) confidence.

ie: watch their reaction when you call them out on anything that challenges their sexual value, whether they have sexual value or not. Its crazy.

The black women that I have dated all needed psychotherapy in one way or another to learn to tone down the narcissism and behave like an adult in a relationship. While that's true for many women across all races, only black women universally have had an overinflated ego and elements of pathological narcissism in their personalities.

I will say that I don't think that its a function of race, but a function of the western underclass culture that shapes how they value themselves and shapes their personalities from a young age. However, I do think that black girls have extremely high sex drives (testosterone) which also shapes how they act out their narcissistic tendencies. High T also shapes other behavior, such as anger.

Not all black girls are effected by underclass culture, obviously, but there seems to be a draw to it even for middle class or over privileged black girls. So, many of them tend to integrate negative elements from it into their personalities as well. The narcissistic elements usually forming the bedrock of that influence.

That's a psychoanalysis smackdown!!!

But that ass is nice.

[MiXX]

(04-20-2011 09:25 AM)Moma Wrote:  

I did not comment on her body etc since I am certain she was used to Toronto guys telling her she is all that and a bag of chips.

Well, there's the problem! She's a feminazi from Toronto! I've learned from the Canada pros on this forum that Toronto is the worst place in Canada to hunt for women as the average looking woman has dozens of betas kissing her ass for a mere 5 minutes of her attention.

So, what would happen if you tried the same game plan on a girl in Montreal, Vancouver..and hell Winnipeg?

Mixx

[DanDeLaCruz]

(10-15-2010 01:10 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  

Ok, here's a thought that has been on my mind for a while now. As a black man, I have to admit that I have seen many black guys complimenting and basically just ego boosting women just a little too much!

I don't think compliments are bad per-say.

I think it depends on how and when you give a compliment. If you go up to a 6 you just met and tell her she's the most beautiful girl on the face of the planet and she should be on the cover of a magazine, obviously it won't come off as genuine.

What you want to do is give a sincere compliment.

I have Puerto Rican friend that might as well be black. He's the best natural I've ever met. He's slept with hundreds of women, I've gone out gaming with him and I've seen him compliment women many many times. The way he does it is very masculine and sexual, and sincere... kinda of like "mode one." He doesn't over due it, but he doesn't hide the fact that he liked her legs or her ass, or her sexiness, whatever... Of course he does it a classy/sometimes humorous way.

If it wasn't for actually seeing this guy in action I might think compliments don't work because there is so much material saying that you shouldn't compliment a girl or whatever, but as with anything I think it's a matter of HOW you say something rather than WHAT you say.

I think all the material out there about not complimenting women applies to guys don't know to do it, or who come off as needy or supplicate when they do it. OR guys who don't do it sincerely and just overdue it. If you fall in this category then you probably just shouldn't do it, but that doesn't mean compliments don't work or that women don't appreciate them when they're given properly.

[Moma]

(04-20-2011 10:37 AM)MiXX Wrote:  

Well, there's the problem! She's a feminazi from Toronto! I've learned from the Canada pros on this forum that Toronto is the worst place in Canada to hunt for women as the average looking woman has dozens of betas kissing her ass for a mere 5 minutes of her attention.

So, what would happen if you tried the same game plan on a girl in Montreal, Vancouver..and hell Winnipeg?

Mixx

So then it's not me but it's them? I plan on leaving Toronto anyway..I've had it with here and I am slowly but surely phasing out dating women from here..in fact if I ask a woman where she is from and she says Toronto..I'm gonna just spin around in her face and move in on another target..

[Jevioso]

(04-20-2011 09:36 AM)hydrogonian Wrote:  

Quote:

I have to admit that I have seen many black guys complimenting and basically just ego boosting women just a little too much! I have to say that many of these women don't even deserve this level of praise, with many times only being 6 to 7 in physical status! I think the problem this creates is women who have a very much over-inflated ego and sense of importance.

This has to be true based on the personalities of the black women that I have known and dated.

However, I think that it starts when they are very young, because the narcissism is present to such an exaggerated extent that it seems to be e very deep rooted part of who they are. It effects how they value themselves and creates a profound sense of insecurity masked by extreme outward (overinflated) confidence.

ie: watch their reaction when you call them out on anything that challenges their sexual value, whether they have sexual value or not. Its crazy.

The black women that I have dated all needed psychotherapy in one way or another to learn to tone down the narcissism and behave like an adult in a relationship. While that's true for many women across all races, only black women universally have had an overinflated ego and elements of pathological narcissism in their personalities.

I will say that I don't think that its a function of race, but a function of the western underclass culture that shapes how they value themselves and shapes their personalities from a young age. However, I do think that black girls have extremely high sex drives (testosterone) which also shapes how they act out their narcissistic tendencies. High T also shapes other behavior, such as anger.

Not all black girls are effected by underclass culture, obviously, but there seems to be a draw to it even for middle class or over privileged black girls. So, many of them tend to integrate negative elements from it into their personalities as well. The narcissistic elements usually forming the bedrock of that influence.

That's a psychoanalysis smackdown!!!

But that ass is nice.

The narcissism is more so a defense mechanism for feeling inferior to every other racial group of women than it is an aspect of underclass culture. Psychology studies have shown how simply seeing pretty women on TV, screws with women's self-esteem and increases their desire for plastic surgery and other forms of beautification; it's only going to be worse with black women.

The narcissism is their bulimia and anorexia that you see in many white women trying to be models. Their attitude thrown towards men is like slitting their wrist or cutting themselves. On a subconscious level, they know it makes them unattractive, but at the same time it gives them attention; plus knowing that she has the power to drive away undesirables gives her an immense feeling of power in a world where she feels she has none.

[Moma]

(04-20-2011 12:21 PM)DanDeLaCruz Wrote:  

I don't think compliments are bad per-say.

I think it depends on how and when you give a compliment. If you go up to a 6 you just met and tell her she's the most beautiful girl on the face of the planet and she should be on the cover of a magazine, obviously it won't come off as genuine.

What you want to do is give a sincere compliment.

I have Puerto Rican friend that might as well be black. He's the best natural I've ever met. He's slept with hundreds of women, I've gone out gaming with him and I've seen him compliment women many many times. The way he does it is very masculine and sexual, and sincere... kinda of like "mode one." He doesn't over due it, but he doesn't hide the fact that he liked her legs or her ass, or her sexiness, whatever... Of course he does it a classy/sometimes humorous way.

If it wasn't for actually seeing this guy in action I might think compliments don't work because there is so much material saying that you shouldn't compliment a girl or whatever, but as with anything I think it's a matter of HOW you say something rather than WHAT you say.

I think all the material out there about not complimenting women applies to guys don't know to do it, or who come off as needy or supplicate when they do it. OR guys who don't do it sincerely and just overdue it. If you fall in this category then you probably just shouldn't do it, but that doesn't mean compliments don't work or that women don't appreciate them when they're given properly.

Please give me an example of how your friend compliments these women without gassing their heads.

For instance, if a woman looks good, I don't see how else not to give a genuine comment. In fact, I am unable to actually seriously approach a woman who I am not attracted to. So whatever features she has that are attractive, i will mention those.

If it's a black woman, she usually has a substantial bedonk. And she knows it. So how can one not comment on that when it's a fact?

And when you say your friend might as well be black, what do you mean? Are you saying due to his success with so many women, he actually seems black?

You speak of telling a 6 she looks great not being a good strategy.

However, is beauty not in the eye of the beholder? There are some women I am extremely attracted to that some guys wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

For instance, I invited some of my friends to come to DR with me. They asked me, what type of women are there? I said mostly black with different shades but of a certain body type.

That set of my friends are NOT attracted to the black female body type. Any sign of ass repels them like roaches and raid.

So women that I was pounding the shyt out and thanking the heavens for, would cause them to retch in disgust.

You see?

[MiXX]

(04-20-2011 12:21 PM)DanDeLaCruz Wrote:  

I have Puerto Rican friend that might as well be black. He's the best natural I've ever met. He's slept with hundreds of women, I've gone out gaming with him and I've seen him compliment women many many times. The way he does it is very masculine and sexual, and sincere... kinda of like "mode one." He doesn't over due it, but he doesn't hide the fact that he liked her legs or her ass, or her sexiness, whatever... Of course he does it a classy/sometimes humorous way.

If it wasn't for actually seeing this guy in action I might think compliments don't work because there is so much material saying that you shouldn't compliment a girl or whatever, but as with anything I think it's a matter of HOW you say something rather than WHAT you say.

I am VERY familiar with Rican "game", I grew up fighting the Rican men, and fucking the Rican women. Granted, your Rican friends game will only work with certain type of women, but if he tries that shit in Spain, he'll be blown out the water - FAST!

Usually Ricans like to exaggerate, and over-compliment women (and lie their asses off to DHV). However, they are very playful as a culture, and ultimately THAT PLAYFULNESS is what gets him laid..NOT HIS COMPLIMENTS!!

I repeat, PLAYFULNESS AND TEASING GETS HIM LAID - NOT HIS USE OF COMPLIMENTS!

He can easily get laid w/o so much as single compliment so long as he keeps his teasing and playfulness. However, Ricans, do not know how to game w/o complimenting their targets who have not earned them.

Mixx

[MiXX]

(04-20-2011 12:23 PM)Moma Wrote:  

if I ask a woman where she is from and she says Toronto..I'm gonna just spin around in her face and move in on another target..

That is exactly the plan I follow even with Canadian tourists in Miami.

For you geek programers out there:

BEGIN
Mixx: "So, what part of Canada you from?"
IF
target:"Calgary, Montreal, Vancouver, Winnipeg, Ottawa"
THEN
Mixx:"Great...let's go bang now"
ELSIF
Mixx:"See ya bee-yoch"

END

I am programmed just like fucking computer logic!!

Mixx

[hydrogonian]

Quote:

The narcissism is more so a defense mechanism for feeling inferior to every other racial group of women than it is an aspect of underclass culture. Psychology studies have shown how simply seeing pretty women on TV, screws with women's self-esteem and increases their desire for plastic surgery and other forms of beautification; it's only going to be worse with black women.

The narcissism is their bulimia and anorexia that you see in many white women trying to be models. Their attitude thrown towards men is like slitting their wrist or cutting themselves. On a subconscious level, they know it makes them unattractive, but at the same time it gives them attention; plus knowing that she has the power to drive away undesirables gives her an immense feeling of power in a world where she feels she has none.

Your right.

I would add that it's undeniable that the underclass culture teaches them to overvalue extreme aspects of their sexuality, which feeds the beast.

That's why you will often get one dimensional porn star behavior in the bedroom. That behavior, as well as the out of the bedroom narcissism, starts as an act (based on the cultural influence) but then becomes the only way that they know how to act. Sometimes I think that they care more about how they look while fucking than the actual fucking. Not to say that it isn't good But a lot of the time it has a 'put on' feel to it, especially when you first get with a girl. When they all have the same moves, and those are their only moves, its like what the hell is going on?

I get you with the inferiority complex, and I agree.

But I would add that I think that the overemphasis of their sexuality as being their core identity, by the underclass culture, makes the inferiority complex much worse. The inferiority then leads to more overcompensating and exaggerated egotistical / sexual behavior and probably more inferiority as they age.

It seems like a nasty cycle to me. A girl who is taught not to value her sexuality as her core worth as a person won't feel as inferior. I think that almost all women are insecure, but the identity/value warping (really for both males and females) that occurs in the underclass culture makes it much worse.

And that's a good point about their attempt at grabbing power. I know exactly what you mean. That's an unfortunate impulse because it drives away high quality alpha type men who have choices (at least the men who know better). It is desperate, and although I understand their emotion behind it, I think that the negative reaction that they get from it from most people probably leads to feeling more powerless. They then wrongly increase the behavior in response. It not only leads to more isolation as individuals, but causes stereotypes to take hold.

You can see it in that very popular State Farm commercial where the guy hits the car, and his black girlfriend goes into a stereotypical "no you didn't" tirade. She then tells the State Farm guy that she wants a new boyfriend and he magically turns into a male model, and then her boyfriend says that he wants a new girlfriend. When she turns into Tyra Banks appears, she says "I was perfect the way that I was, turn me back" (the "turn me back" part is excluded in the below video, but is in other cuts), with attitude. That entire commercial about sums it up perfectly. Her sexual value is perfect, no matter what she looks like, and she's so insecure and deluded so as to label herself as perfect. Additionally, she expects the man to look like a model, and will bitch and moan over meaningless shit as a minor car accident (well that last part isn't relative to what we're talking about, but is annoying and often true anyway) Personally, I can't believe that this commercial has been on as long as it has, because it embodies so many different stereotypes about black women. But I don't disagree with them. The commercial is actually very validating of my views and experience with black women.

And I'm not saying that I don't understand where a lot of this comes from. Its a European woman's world, in the west, when it comes to standards of beauty. That's a hard thing to live with as a black woman, I'm sure. I feel terrible that they feel compelled to where wigs and weaves that emulate European straight hair. That's a lot of work and money to maintain. And I hate not knowing how the girl I'm with really looks until I'm well into dating her and she finally hangs out with me without a weave on. If I was dating a black woman, I'd much rather her wear only her natural hair, no matter how much 'better' she looks with a weave. Natural hair turns me on.

I'm just saying that I don't want to date the fucked up psychology that results from all of this, no matter how it happens.

But I'll still tap it.