[Lufty]

Hey guys, this is the second LTR thread I have posted and I hope I am not cramping the style of the board in asking the following. My situation is that I am in an LTR with a pretty cool girl but for the next few months will be doing long distance. I know we have a pretty wide variety of guys on the board, some more into the long term bachelor roosh style and a few are a bit more modest with their goals like me.

The question I pose your you guys, especially those who are older and have a bit more life experience under your collective belts is that is it better to let a nice relationship run it's course or should I bail and enjoy the local women. For the sake of the question let's assume that I am unwilling to cheat on her and having a relationship with a solid girl is a relatively new thing for me.

[Veloce]

Newb thread.

At this point, I consider non-willingness to cheat on a girl as a form of one-itis and a denial of your natural male biology.

[Lufty]

Mods: if this is a noob thread please move it to the appropriate place.

Perhaps it is the last vestiges of my former white knighthood but I will acknowledge that the current girl I am with has a rare combination of traits that works well with me. I am not saying that she is the only person for me but I am willing to admit that I haven't found many like her thus far.

[Cattle Rustler]

One-itis indeed.

Why not have her on the side? She doesn't have to know you have other local women. You gotta have fun while you can.

[Frontenac]

Should be in the Newbie Forum, but no matter...

Big gamble here.

I've done it twice. The first time worked great because I had a special girl who had no problem being away from me. The second was the complete opposite, and she wanted me to give up my career to stay with her. She ended up getting some side and then ended it when I got back. Now, I am betting that 90% of girls are in this latter category. If you are to make this work, then you two need to discuss the difficulties being seperated will entail, with the obvious one being unable to see one another. You have to make DAMN SURE she is ok without seeing you on a regular basis. If she isn't, and you try to make this fly, I guarantee it will go down in flames, and you're going to get hurt.

If you want this to work, you MUST make an effort to see her regularly. Whether its once a month, once every two weeks, doesn't matter. But have some concrete plans in place. This shit takes work. That way she can look forward to seeing you, and know she's going to see you on a regular basis. And the same for you.

If she isn't willing to do this, then move on immediately. The problem with women is they don't think logically, they only think emotionally. She may miss you one day, which could turn into anger towards you, which then turn into her getting plowed by some guy from the coffee shop, which may turn into her feeling even more terrible, which could then turn into going to the bar and picking up another guy. It's that simple.

If you trust this girl, which I personally rarely do unless I've known them for at least 2.5+ years, then do it. It may be worth it. However, you must be prepared for this to blow up in your face.

I woud recommend getting some side girls while you're there for a couple reasons. One, it may be easier for you because you're a different guy in a new place, and two, if this does go down in flames, you won't care a lot. Consider it like an insurance policy. However, if you really feel for this girl, and don't want to bang other broads, and are willing to trust her, then go for it. But be extremely cautious. Things can change almost instantly.

[Prophylaxis]

(09-04-2013 04:57 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  

Why not have her on the side? She doesn't have to know you have other local women. You gotta have fun while you can.

THIS. Long-distance relationships get a lot of slack, but that's assuming you are monogamous to them. I love meeting girls from different cities, teeing up with them a couple times a year, and travelling to new places. There's nothing better than the look on their face when you first see them at the airport. Also, they will show the best their country has to offer.

A lot of newbies don't understand that just because you're with other (local) women doesn't mean you don't care about your friend on the other-side of the world. A lot of Western girls are just an extension of porn IMO, so it's quite easy to separate the physical from emotional.

[Veloce]

(09-04-2013 04:53 PM)Lufty Wrote:  

I will acknowledge that the current girl I am with has a rare combination of traits that works well with me. I am not saying that she is the only person for me but I am willing to admit that I haven't found many like her thus far.

Believe me I feel you man.

I can easily say my current gf is the best I've had. Cooks for me, cleans, always wants to be with me, sexually please me. I could also say she's "one of the good ones". But she's still just a girl. Here's the thing: as good as they can be, how much does she really improve your life? If your answer is "a lot" then you need to work on your life more. You need to work out more, develop more hobbies and skills. Once you start "being" more; whether it's richer, stronger, faster, smarter, more creative, more good-looking, women don't have the same value as before. It's narcissism at its worst but the alternative is developing one-itis and allowing women to maintain a cornerstone position in your life. If this woman means so much to you then you're not ready for an LTR, as counter-intuitive as that may be. Something in your life is deficient.

I'm in an LTR currently, the girl walked out on me this morning calling me an asshole and such (guilty. I was talking about fucking other girls in the Phillipinnes), saying she's not gonna be around for a few days. This has happened many times before. I always just text her, "K" which drives her insane. Part of me honestly doesn't want her to come back, and part of me does, but I'm not attached to either outcome. Whatever happens, my game plan stays the same: work, earn money, exercise, play guitar, spend time outdoors, chase whatever tail crosses my path.

Girls are peripheral and should stay that way. When they start digging their way into your life and routine, they're like a Trojan Horse and start fucking up the entire castle from the inside out. Don't let this happen.

[PaybackTime]

Unless she has just been drafted by Tsahal I'd say no go, there is no special flower in this world, everybody is replaceable you just haven't found it yet. There's no such thing as a soulmate or anybody worth saving yourself for, this is the unbearable yet genuine lesson of the post-red pill 'Zion' world

[iknowexactly]

(09-04-2013 05:08 PM)Frontenac Wrote:  

Should be in the Newbie Forum, but no matter...

Big gamble here.

I've done it twice.

.....

If you want this to work, you MUST make an effort to see her regularly. Whether its once a month, once every two weeks, doesn't matter. But have some concrete plans in place.

.....


But be extremely cautious. Things can change almost instantly.

I agree with this too, because women won't tell you they're developing things because the new guy might be a player.

if you keep going back and fucking her you'll get a better feel (hahah) for if she'd drifting away, and then won't waste a couple years thinking about someone who doesn't care about you.

You also have to have a time where the long distance part is going to end. Screaming red flag
is when you WANT to go back and there's "something she has to do."

Indefinite LDR is not possible. It's not really a relationship if you're not fucking. it's just hope.

[Dr. Howard]

(09-04-2013 04:46 PM)Lufty Wrote:  

Hey guys, this is the second LTR thread I have posted and I hope I am not cramping the style of the board in asking the following. My situation is that I am in an LTR with a pretty cool girl but for the next few months will be doing long distance. I know we have a pretty wide variety of guys on the board, some more into the long term bachelor roosh style and a few are a bit more modest with their goals like me.

The question I pose your you guys, especially those who are older and have a bit more life experience under your collective belts is that is it better to let a nice relationship run it's course or should I bail and enjoy the local women. For the sake of the question let's assume that I am unwilling to cheat on her and having a relationship with a solid girl is a relatively new thing for me.

I would not recommend enduring this unless you are married. My suggestion is to break it off but not in a 'final armageddon' kind of way, more in a 'someday if we are closer we could be something' kind of way. If its that good of a relationship you'll both make time for each other without the obligation and stress. Otherwise, you drift apart and bang when you are in each other's cities until its geographically convenient to be serious.

[mental]

You'd you go a few month without sex to be faithful to a girl which you won't see for a few months? I bet you a million bucks she will cheat on you because "it just happened". Why not have some fun while she's away, she'll probably be doing that, if she isn't already. If you still don't believe me, just look up how many soldiers were cheated on while they were away.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

How old are you, OP? And exactly how far away and for how long do you want to run this hypothetical LTR?

[Onto]

It would be helpful if you explained why you are seperating for a few months and her feelings about it. That "little" detail is quite important.

Being faithful to a women is a masculine act. As Ulysses fought the siren songs of the witches, a real man fights those tempations as well. You seem to understand this, since you are torn about being a cheater.

Women don't subscribe to moral fidelity the way men do, as it's a masculine trait. Women may be faithful so long as it suits them and if they have oneitits. So if you are going to faithful, do it because you want to bring that masculine principal into the world through your actions (rejecting temptation). Don't do it because you want her to be faithful, because that's very much a crapshoot.

Lastly, I think it's fine to want an LTR with a "good" woman. We are all lacking something, deficeint as it's been said. What is really lacking is the feminine principal. It's why we are attracted to women. If man were truly self-possessed he wouldn't even bother with them, but then there would be no off-spring, human race dies and all the rest.

Man's modern day problem is, western feminism has largely destroyed the feminine principal that existed in women and replaced it with an undeveloped masculine one. Compound that with the masculine principal in men being replaced with an undeveloped feminine one (Beta's) you have what Ray Davies described as a "Mixed up muddled up shook up world"

[Lufty]

Sorry for not mentioning it sooner but I'm a student who is studying abroad in europe while she remains in the states. The duration will be about 4 months.

[Cr33pin]

Keep telling her everything she wants to hear when you talk to her.
Bang everything worth while you can while overseas.

You are apparently super young since your mentioning studying... Odds are if you deny yourself hot sex white hot Europeans 8 months down the road after you have returned to the states you and you girl will break up... an all those hot girls you didn't have sex with cause you wanted to be faithful will be cursed missed opportunities.

I said this shit all my life way before Drake.. but you only live once, you shouldnt deny yourself anything you want. When you are 60 and can't get hot girls you will look back an kick yourself for not sleeping with hotties when you were young and able.

[Onto]

(09-05-2013 09:56 AM)Lufty Wrote:  

Sorry for not mentioning it sooner but I'm a student who is studying abroad in europe while she remains in the states. The duration will be about 4 months.

CR33Pin has a good point, and it's unlikely this American girl is really worth marrying. She may cook a meal here and there and all the rest, but will she do that everyday and also give up her "guy friends" and "girls night out" and surrender herself completely to your direction and decisions. Not bloody likely.

If she is pressuring you to make a decision about your relationship and fidelity before you leave then tell her you would like to stay in the relationship. At this point that's the truth isn't it?

If later, in Europe, you meet someone and bang them then you can tell her about it and decide what to do from there, but you're not a fortune teller and you don't know what the future will be and who you may meet.

There are women in this world sacrificing for, but they are few. Have fun in Europe, I'm jealous.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

(09-05-2013 09:56 AM)Lufty Wrote:  

Sorry for not mentioning it sooner but I'm a student who is studying abroad in europe while she remains in the states. The duration will be about 4 months.

You're too young and inexperienced to know what a good woman is.

Focus on your studies and career.

When you're older, wiser, and more successful, your view on what makes a good woman will be radically different. I suggest dumping her and getting more life experience before deciding that any girl is a good woman.

Also, she will not respect you for maintaining an LTR. She will either break up with you or cheat on you.

I suggest the following gameplan for the sake of the relationship (if you want to keep it): you should break up with her, date other women in Europe (you don't necessarily need to sleep with them if you don't want to 'cheat'), then get back in touch with her when you get back, suggesting that you two get back together. She will probably, and irrationally, throw herself into your arms.

Women are not creatures of logic. To keep her, you should break up with her. If she loves you she will still be pining for you upon your return and will be happy to pick up where she left off i.e. if you be a dick to her, she will desire you all the more.

[Virtus]

(09-04-2013 05:41 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

Part of me honestly doesn't want her to come back, and part of me does, but I'm not attached to either outcome. Whatever happens, my game plan stays the same: work, earn money, exercise, play guitar, spend time outdoors, chase whatever tail crosses my path.

Same boat.. heh