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I dont approach women because online dating has made me lazy and complacent
08-18-2013, 08:23 AM
How to overcome this? I would prefer a bang where I approach a random on the street vs. message a random online. The concept is pretty much the same, but the in-person interaction is more intense, but it takes more effort which is why I dont do it.
Fuck you online dating..
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I dont approach women because online dating has made me lazy and complacent
08-18-2013, 08:52 AM
I am going to state the obvious and suggest you turn off your computer and go outside.
I didn't really see any other way to responed to this.
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I dont approach women because online dating has made me lazy and complacent
08-18-2013, 10:28 AM
although Irishman is right, I think his execution could use some work.
I too go though times where I'd rather just stick to online dating only because its easier (zero physical effort) and could reap the same rewards if you take enough time on your profile and messages. I've dated and am dating girls now that were straight up like "I wouldn't have talked to you if we met on the street" or just don't really go to clubs or bars, but are nevertheless smoking hot. You've gotta find your rhythm. Maybe once you have a stable of one or two chicks from online and really have nothing to lose, you can cut your teeth out on the street a little just to keep your skills sharp. No pressure. You've already got pussy. But street skills are essential. Undeniable. But I think depending 100% on street pickup is a bad idea and enormous pressure especially for a newbie.
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I dont approach women because online dating has made me lazy and complacent
08-18-2013, 05:53 PM
"I want to loose weight, but I don't want to get off the couch and stop eating."
"I want to earn a million dollars, but I don't want to work hard to get it."
"I want to fuck higher quality women, but getting 6's & 7's online is easier."
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I dont approach women because online dating has made me lazy and complacent
08-18-2013, 10:12 PM
Fuck just cutting out online dating. CUT OUT YOUR ENTIRE INTERNET EXPERIENCE]
Even if you were the dweebiest motherfucker around all you'd need to do is buy around 10 books and you'd be set for life. Bang, Day bang, Starting Strength, a psychology book, a style manual, a book on finances etc. Any of the essentials. The masterpieces of a certain movement. This will give you the necessary force to start off and as we all know an object in motion stays in motion.
Guys should be given a 'game starter kit' then banned from non-essential technology until they've banged at least 15 new chicks, squatted their bodyweight, and worn their first tailored suit.
The internet makes everything so easy, but at the same time is the biggest hindrance to your progress possible. You suffer from paralysis by analysis? Watch some youtube videos and read about guys arguing about trivial shit instead of making a concrete decision. You get horny? Jerk off to a perfect 10 getting analized in stunning HD.
Shut down your computer, smash your TV... after an hour of staring at the wall you'll start to get creative. Maybe you'll just jerk off a bunch at first, but you're eventually going to pick up a book. You're going to eventually organize your living space and think about how it can be improved. You'll eventually have an insatiable need to converse with other people because you can't get your social fix from the internet.
Easier said than done, but its time to practice what I preach: hiatus from all non-essential technology and internet browsing for the indefinite future!
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I dont approach women because online dating has made me lazy and complacent
08-18-2013, 11:18 PM
I'm going with others have said, cut it off. Once you're comfortable rolling in person, use it like a supplement. Got 5 minutes before a meeting? Fire off a few messages and see if you get anything. Just my opinion though.
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I dont approach women because online dating has made me lazy and complacent
08-18-2013, 11:21 PM
You obviously don't want to approach women on the street.
If you want to, do it. If not, don't.
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I dont approach women because online dating has made me lazy and complacent
08-19-2013, 08:28 AM
Knowing a few things about human behavior, advice such as GET OFF THE INTERNET AND JUST DO, isn't going to work because humans don't always act on the basis of what we know. In fact, most information is a distraction. In addition to that (and working against you), you've admitted that online dating and approaching is easier, so your brain has been rewarded (with dopamine) to favor online over real life. You're not going to "get tough and suck it up" as the human brain isn't wired that way.
Instead, you need simple action steps to slowly re-wire your brain. Some immediate steps:
- Approach and have simple and small interactions with girls and focus on saying one or two sentences. Something as simple as look in her eyes, walk by and say "Excuse me." Small wins are important when trying to change. Trying to "get laid" immediately is probably not going to work and after multiple failures you might become discouraged and give up (same with trying to lose 50 pounds instead of 2 pounds on week one or two or trying to save $2500 a week on an income of only $2000 a month - not going to happen no matter how "HARD" someone works).
- Focus only on building a consistent habit. It's better to consistently approach one girl a day, then approach 10 girls in one day and then go ten days without approaching. Behavior psychologists love to state that humans always over estimate how much we can do in a short period of time, but under estimate how much we can get accomplished over a long period of time with small investments. This means that focusing on building a habit will yield better results in time anyway.
- Only reward yourself AFTER you've approached a girl. The easiest way to do this is to approach a girl as early as you wake up (anywhere), then you can choose to reward yourself or not later in the day. In time, you'll want to reward yourself for bigger accomplishments only, such as rewarding yourself after you've approached girls for three days in a row, etc.
Those are some basic behavioral action steps for re-wiring your brain, which will take a while to do (but will work).