If it even counts as that...you might as well call this "Adventures of a Beta" if you want, because it was that bad. I've taken some time today to reflect on it and write this. Maybe you'll find it entertaining.
So, last night was my re-introduction to the harsh real world realities of this and where I am (negative to zero game apparently, at the moment). In retrospect I think I did pretty much the opposite of everything XXL recommends here…
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-27202-...#pid515052
(His tips sound good.)
I decided it was time to start put this stuff I've been reading to the test. Been working on my body language and conversational skills in normal everyday life, and I thought I'd try a club to see what happens, and also as a recon mission to observe what people wear, and see whether it was a worthwhile venue for future excursions. I haven't been inside a club in I don't know how many years… I can't even remember so it must be about ten. Yeah, that's probably right, and on top of that it was in South America, so in a completely different country and culture.
Title: "How Not to Go Out to a Club Alone"
Location: 3rd/4th tier city in USA.
First, I got out later than I wanted to, around 11pm. After a gym session, shower, and dinner, I was kind of tired. For a bit, I even contemplated not going. But, I know I must do this, and so I push myself out the door and drive into town.
I picked a club that was rated/polled highly in the local papers as being "Best for Singles" in this particular city. In retrospect, most of those votes probably came from females…didn't think of that before, did I? When I arrive at the club I can't just go in of course. There is a line. The bouncers are letting in girls only, and then they let in men if they are paired with girls. Single guys have to stand along the wall like losers. Unless of course, you want to buy some stupid VIP bottle service. I hear some guys behind me speaking in what sounds like Arabic so I ask them where they are from, trying to be more social. Morocco, it turns out. (It's something I do, whenever I hear someone speaking a foreign language. Sometimes you have interesting conversations.) We chat a little bit. I ask if they think it's a good club. They say it's the best in this particular city. That's probably not saying much. There is a heavy police presence outside the front door. Two uniformed cops with a cruiser, and then a police van pulls up now and again, and then drives away. I joke that "You know it must be good if the police keep showing up." One Moroccan dude turns around, smiles, and nods in agreement.
The bouncer roughs up some big guy a bit. He doesn't want to let him in at first but then he says, "OK, but no violence this time!"
I see a couple of scruffy guys get let in past the line, off of the street. From what I can glean from the conversation, the bouncer previously sent them away for wearing shorts and they went home, changed into jeans, and came back.
At one point the bouncer lets some fat girls in the club past the line. I say, not too loudly, to the guys around me, "Wow, I can't believe they're letting those fatties in." Silence. No one else thinks this is funny. After about 45min of waiting around through this kind of BS I get inside.
I walk around the place once to see what's up. Inside the club there are basically two separate areas, a front dance floor with a bar and in the back, through a hall passage, there is a back porch bar and patio with more of a lounge type feel. (Random observation: Different DJs are playing different music in each. In the front room they are playing that dubstep/EDM stuff very loudly. One of the bartenders there (the bartenders are all attractive females in this place, and scantily clad) has one of those crazy Skrillex haircuts, parts of it dyed pink. A bunch of earrings. It's way too loud in this room to ever hope of striking up a conversation with anyone without yelling so I head for the back room. The back room DJ plays more Top 40 type dance tunes (such as will.i.am's "Scream and Shout", which incidentally is one of the few songs of that current genre which I don't entirely despise…that is not a bad synth riff if I'm honest. I usually have to listen to this crap in the gym.) It's still loud in the back, but a little less so thanks to being outside.
I go up to the bar to get a drink. The bartender is a very fit tall white chick with long black slightly curly hair and a pretty face. She's wearing a skimpy top and and short black shorts which expose her midriff. She's bouncing around all the time to the music while doing her job. I wonder to myself what kind of crazy life she must having working in a place like this. I see like 30 brands of vodka on the wall and some other stuff but I ask if they have any Scotch. I'm in the mood for a something with flavor, but not a beer. I'm thinking scotch and soda, so something like Dewar's would be fine. She checks the register but no dice.
"How about a Manhattan?" I ask. Again no luck. Hmmm.
"So what to people usually drink here?" I ask?
She laughs and says, "Red Bull and vodka."
"Ugh. That stuff is disgusting." I say, though with a bit of a smile. I order a vodka and club soda. Stolichnaya. It's boring, I know, but I don't want anything with sugar in it.
I'd say seventy percent of the guys in this place look pretty much stereotypically "alpha" to me. They're fairly jacked up and wearing tight shirts, like polos, tees, or (less frequently) button-downs with short sleeves. Some of the guys in t-shirts even roll up the sleeves a little higher, just to show off their biceps. The black muscular dudes look like football players and the white bros could be Jersey Shore extras. The other thirty percent of the guys are thin and slight, giving off a more hipster-ish vibe,and usually wear t-shirt and jeans. Some have thick-framed glasses. The Moroccan guys I talked to in line would fit more into this latter category.
There is a surprising number of short chubby girls in here. They are mostly in groups with other girls or mixed, and having fun dancing with each other. Being 6'1", I pretty much ignore them since they are out of my line of sight, but a bunch of short wide latinas are dancing in what should be a hallway making it hard to pass through. I find this annoying as it takes me out of my aloof vibe, having to say stuff like "excuse me" to get by.
From what I can tell any girl here who is thin and reasonably attractive gets instantly transformed into a 9 (in the context of the club), by sheer virtue of the club environment itself and in comparison with all the chubbies. Even the chubsters who have nice faces act super entitled, and have no shortage of dudes to talk to them.
I shouldn't do this, I guess, but I start to play games in my mind trying to figure out what's what in this place. I'm thinking of "signs she's a slut" I read somewhere (here probably) and wonder how hard it would be to find a girl without a tattoo here? Ha. I look around. Seems like three-quarters of the girls have visible ink. I'd guess the rest have one under their clothes somewhere.
The whole "getting out of your own head" thing is much harder than it sounds. I can do it alright in normal everyday life, but it seems to me that a club environment imposes itself too strongly with it's own reality upon your psyche, with it's loud music and vaguely hostile atmosphere. I try to find some places to relax, stretch out, and be cool, find those "choke points" where you can maybe strike up a conversation, but too often those places feel too crowded. People sometimes step on my $500 shoes which pisses me off. I'm not comfortable here and that's the crux of it. In this environment, if I'm not actually talking to someone, so as to distract me from myself, I can easily go a very dark and brooding place.
I look around for some prospects. I've been reading too much daytime-oriented stuff lately which has me in the wrong mindset for a nightclub. Obviously (in retrospect) you will rarely find any girls alone at night to approach. They are almost always in pairs or larger groups. It's clear to me now that I haven't mentally prepared myself for opening groups of girls.
I spot two non-fat, white girls without visible tattoos talking to a rather herby white guy not too far away. One girl is clearly more attractive and taller than the other and has auburn hair. The other is shorter with brown hair, but not bad (not fat). I study his body language and try to figure out what's going on, for my own amusement. He's doing all these no-no's and it's funny because it's like something right out of Roissy's blog. They smile weakly and walk away. As they walk past me I decide to blurt something out. I'll just say anything, who cares. For fun I say, "What happened with that guy, you didn't like him, huh?" I notice the redhead has a nose ring. Didn't see that from far away. The shorter girl looks at me and starts talking, giving me some complicated backstory. At this moment I'm thinking to myself, "Hmm. Up close her eyes have a rather tired look for a young girl" (early/mid 20's I guess). I'm also thinking, "Well. It certainly is easier that I thought to start a random conversation. This girls is just blathering away." This last about fifteen or so seconds. However, I should mention that what I'm actually hearing when the girl speaks to me is,
"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…."
This is due partly to the loud music and also I suppose mostly the inability of the human brain to think of two things at once. I stare at her blankly. Nothing comes to mind. I look at her friend, the better-looking one, and she gives back a look I can only describe as conveying utter disgust. They walk away. Well, that was interesting. I'm not used to that look because I usually only interact with girls in the daytime.
After a little more standing around, it's getting late, so I decide I've had enough and decide to leave. I remember why I hate clubs. Instead of driving straight home I decide to take a little walk and clear my head, and also to myself that any alcohol I imbibed is worked out of my system before driving. Cops are usually everywhere this time of night. There are groups of drunk people walking around the city's main drag here and there.
I go down a side street, and about a hundred yards down there is a young couple, chilling out smoking on the sidewalk standing next to a brick building. As I walk up to them the girl says to me, "Hey, do you want to smoke some weed?"
I'm a bit taken aback at first (stuck in my head again) but it was funny. I see that she's decent-looking. I laugh, "Heheh, no thanks."
As I walk past she says, "If you smoked some your life would improve a lot!"
I don't turn around but just keep walking and say, "You're probably right!"
She yells, "I know I am!"
I can't help but thinking that maybe she is right as I keep walking. I pause and reconsider it for a moment. Turn around? No, I think: I have to drive home.
So, last night was my re-introduction to the harsh real world realities of this and where I am (negative to zero game apparently, at the moment). In retrospect I think I did pretty much the opposite of everything XXL recommends here…
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-27202-...#pid515052
(His tips sound good.)
I decided it was time to start put this stuff I've been reading to the test. Been working on my body language and conversational skills in normal everyday life, and I thought I'd try a club to see what happens, and also as a recon mission to observe what people wear, and see whether it was a worthwhile venue for future excursions. I haven't been inside a club in I don't know how many years… I can't even remember so it must be about ten. Yeah, that's probably right, and on top of that it was in South America, so in a completely different country and culture.
Title: "How Not to Go Out to a Club Alone"
Location: 3rd/4th tier city in USA.
First, I got out later than I wanted to, around 11pm. After a gym session, shower, and dinner, I was kind of tired. For a bit, I even contemplated not going. But, I know I must do this, and so I push myself out the door and drive into town.
I picked a club that was rated/polled highly in the local papers as being "Best for Singles" in this particular city. In retrospect, most of those votes probably came from females…didn't think of that before, did I? When I arrive at the club I can't just go in of course. There is a line. The bouncers are letting in girls only, and then they let in men if they are paired with girls. Single guys have to stand along the wall like losers. Unless of course, you want to buy some stupid VIP bottle service. I hear some guys behind me speaking in what sounds like Arabic so I ask them where they are from, trying to be more social. Morocco, it turns out. (It's something I do, whenever I hear someone speaking a foreign language. Sometimes you have interesting conversations.) We chat a little bit. I ask if they think it's a good club. They say it's the best in this particular city. That's probably not saying much. There is a heavy police presence outside the front door. Two uniformed cops with a cruiser, and then a police van pulls up now and again, and then drives away. I joke that "You know it must be good if the police keep showing up." One Moroccan dude turns around, smiles, and nods in agreement.
The bouncer roughs up some big guy a bit. He doesn't want to let him in at first but then he says, "OK, but no violence this time!"
I see a couple of scruffy guys get let in past the line, off of the street. From what I can glean from the conversation, the bouncer previously sent them away for wearing shorts and they went home, changed into jeans, and came back.
At one point the bouncer lets some fat girls in the club past the line. I say, not too loudly, to the guys around me, "Wow, I can't believe they're letting those fatties in." Silence. No one else thinks this is funny. After about 45min of waiting around through this kind of BS I get inside.
I walk around the place once to see what's up. Inside the club there are basically two separate areas, a front dance floor with a bar and in the back, through a hall passage, there is a back porch bar and patio with more of a lounge type feel. (Random observation: Different DJs are playing different music in each. In the front room they are playing that dubstep/EDM stuff very loudly. One of the bartenders there (the bartenders are all attractive females in this place, and scantily clad) has one of those crazy Skrillex haircuts, parts of it dyed pink. A bunch of earrings. It's way too loud in this room to ever hope of striking up a conversation with anyone without yelling so I head for the back room. The back room DJ plays more Top 40 type dance tunes (such as will.i.am's "Scream and Shout", which incidentally is one of the few songs of that current genre which I don't entirely despise…that is not a bad synth riff if I'm honest. I usually have to listen to this crap in the gym.) It's still loud in the back, but a little less so thanks to being outside.
I go up to the bar to get a drink. The bartender is a very fit tall white chick with long black slightly curly hair and a pretty face. She's wearing a skimpy top and and short black shorts which expose her midriff. She's bouncing around all the time to the music while doing her job. I wonder to myself what kind of crazy life she must having working in a place like this. I see like 30 brands of vodka on the wall and some other stuff but I ask if they have any Scotch. I'm in the mood for a something with flavor, but not a beer. I'm thinking scotch and soda, so something like Dewar's would be fine. She checks the register but no dice.
"How about a Manhattan?" I ask. Again no luck. Hmmm.
"So what to people usually drink here?" I ask?
She laughs and says, "Red Bull and vodka."
"Ugh. That stuff is disgusting." I say, though with a bit of a smile. I order a vodka and club soda. Stolichnaya. It's boring, I know, but I don't want anything with sugar in it.
I'd say seventy percent of the guys in this place look pretty much stereotypically "alpha" to me. They're fairly jacked up and wearing tight shirts, like polos, tees, or (less frequently) button-downs with short sleeves. Some of the guys in t-shirts even roll up the sleeves a little higher, just to show off their biceps. The black muscular dudes look like football players and the white bros could be Jersey Shore extras. The other thirty percent of the guys are thin and slight, giving off a more hipster-ish vibe,and usually wear t-shirt and jeans. Some have thick-framed glasses. The Moroccan guys I talked to in line would fit more into this latter category.
There is a surprising number of short chubby girls in here. They are mostly in groups with other girls or mixed, and having fun dancing with each other. Being 6'1", I pretty much ignore them since they are out of my line of sight, but a bunch of short wide latinas are dancing in what should be a hallway making it hard to pass through. I find this annoying as it takes me out of my aloof vibe, having to say stuff like "excuse me" to get by.
From what I can tell any girl here who is thin and reasonably attractive gets instantly transformed into a 9 (in the context of the club), by sheer virtue of the club environment itself and in comparison with all the chubbies. Even the chubsters who have nice faces act super entitled, and have no shortage of dudes to talk to them.
I shouldn't do this, I guess, but I start to play games in my mind trying to figure out what's what in this place. I'm thinking of "signs she's a slut" I read somewhere (here probably) and wonder how hard it would be to find a girl without a tattoo here? Ha. I look around. Seems like three-quarters of the girls have visible ink. I'd guess the rest have one under their clothes somewhere.
The whole "getting out of your own head" thing is much harder than it sounds. I can do it alright in normal everyday life, but it seems to me that a club environment imposes itself too strongly with it's own reality upon your psyche, with it's loud music and vaguely hostile atmosphere. I try to find some places to relax, stretch out, and be cool, find those "choke points" where you can maybe strike up a conversation, but too often those places feel too crowded. People sometimes step on my $500 shoes which pisses me off. I'm not comfortable here and that's the crux of it. In this environment, if I'm not actually talking to someone, so as to distract me from myself, I can easily go a very dark and brooding place.
I look around for some prospects. I've been reading too much daytime-oriented stuff lately which has me in the wrong mindset for a nightclub. Obviously (in retrospect) you will rarely find any girls alone at night to approach. They are almost always in pairs or larger groups. It's clear to me now that I haven't mentally prepared myself for opening groups of girls.
I spot two non-fat, white girls without visible tattoos talking to a rather herby white guy not too far away. One girl is clearly more attractive and taller than the other and has auburn hair. The other is shorter with brown hair, but not bad (not fat). I study his body language and try to figure out what's going on, for my own amusement. He's doing all these no-no's and it's funny because it's like something right out of Roissy's blog. They smile weakly and walk away. As they walk past me I decide to blurt something out. I'll just say anything, who cares. For fun I say, "What happened with that guy, you didn't like him, huh?" I notice the redhead has a nose ring. Didn't see that from far away. The shorter girl looks at me and starts talking, giving me some complicated backstory. At this moment I'm thinking to myself, "Hmm. Up close her eyes have a rather tired look for a young girl" (early/mid 20's I guess). I'm also thinking, "Well. It certainly is easier that I thought to start a random conversation. This girls is just blathering away." This last about fifteen or so seconds. However, I should mention that what I'm actually hearing when the girl speaks to me is,
"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…."
This is due partly to the loud music and also I suppose mostly the inability of the human brain to think of two things at once. I stare at her blankly. Nothing comes to mind. I look at her friend, the better-looking one, and she gives back a look I can only describe as conveying utter disgust. They walk away. Well, that was interesting. I'm not used to that look because I usually only interact with girls in the daytime.
After a little more standing around, it's getting late, so I decide I've had enough and decide to leave. I remember why I hate clubs. Instead of driving straight home I decide to take a little walk and clear my head, and also to myself that any alcohol I imbibed is worked out of my system before driving. Cops are usually everywhere this time of night. There are groups of drunk people walking around the city's main drag here and there.
I go down a side street, and about a hundred yards down there is a young couple, chilling out smoking on the sidewalk standing next to a brick building. As I walk up to them the girl says to me, "Hey, do you want to smoke some weed?"
I'm a bit taken aback at first (stuck in my head again) but it was funny. I see that she's decent-looking. I laugh, "Heheh, no thanks."
As I walk past she says, "If you smoked some your life would improve a lot!"
I don't turn around but just keep walking and say, "You're probably right!"
She yells, "I know I am!"
I can't help but thinking that maybe she is right as I keep walking. I pause and reconsider it for a moment. Turn around? No, I think: I have to drive home.
If only you knew how bad things really are.