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The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster
#1

The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster

It's well-documented in these hallowed halls that women are irrevocably dictated by their hamster.

What is not discussed so much, is the male hamster. Even men have hamsters, we're just a lot better at taming and controlling it with reason and logic.

Share your stories about the elusive male hamster here.
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#2

The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster

Sometimes when I meet a girl that knows how to zing me right in that correct mix of sassy and attractive it gets my hamster going.

Only a few have done so, and each time a bang ensued. I enjoy it.
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#3

The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster

The female hamster rationalizes her belief in illogical arguments. Real men like girls with some meat on them, I only get paid less because of the misogynist bosses and not because of the of the limited skills I bring to the table, that chick veronica is a straight up bitch because of something in her tone of voice not because she is more attractive.

The male hamster does the same thing, just in regards to more masculine subjects. My sports team sucked this year but watch out next year, that new rookie we drafted is gonna turn the game upside down. I was gonna go for the 30k new car, but this 15k one has better resale value and looks just as good. That chick shot me down, she must have a boyfriend or be a lesbian.

We all got hamsters. We all want to rationalize our thoughts and actions. The trick is knowing when your hamster is still running on the wheel or shitting in the corner.

God'll prolly have me on some real strict shit
No sleeping all day, no getting my dick licked

The Original Emotional Alpha
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#4

The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster

Quote: (07-29-2013 10:44 PM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

The female hamster rationalizes her belief in illogical arguments. Real men like girls with some meat on them, I only get paid less because of the misogynist bosses and not because of the of the limited skills I bring to the table, that chick veronica is a straight up bitch because of something in her tone of voice not because she is more attractive.

The male hamster does the same thing, just in regards to more masculine subjects. My sports team sucked this year but watch out next year, that new rookie we drafted is gonna turn the game upside down. I was gonna go for the 30k new car, but this 15k one has better resale value and looks just as good. That chick shot me down, she must have a boyfriend or be a lesbian.

We all got hamsters. We all want to rationalize our thoughts and actions. The trick is knowing when your hamster is still running on the wheel or shitting in the corner.

In the military we call that false motivation'

'I love being stuck in the middle of this awful unreasonably scorching desert that smells like shit filled with people that smell like shit for chump change'

'I'm so happy I can be a positively contributing force towards the unification and enlightenment of the great people of Afghanistan'

Etc...
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#5

The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster

false motivation is more of a sarcastic term. We say that stuff joking around, we dont actually believe it.

The difference with hamsterism is that people actually believe their reasoning.

God'll prolly have me on some real strict shit
No sleeping all day, no getting my dick licked

The Original Emotional Alpha
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#6

The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster

I think someone is forgetting the white knight hamster.
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#7

The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster

Quote: (07-29-2013 11:35 PM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

false motivation is more of a sarcastic term. We say that stuff joking around, we dont actually believe it.

The difference with hamsterism is that people actually believe their reasoning.

This. When a chick rejects my advances I do make up some hamster explanation (that can be true sometimes) to take the initial ego impact more lightly, but in 80% of cases it was me who failed to stand out from the mass in attractive way and I know it.
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#8

The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster

In today's world, I don't even think the male hamster is all that rare.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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#9

The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster

"That chick hasn't messaged me back instantly, she must be just attention whoring!" ---- emotional instability and lack of coolness necessary to deal with any form of dating, not just modern one
"Confidence on women is the most attractive thing ever!" ---- mantra of a Beta settling for a chick who treats him poorly

"Imagine" by HCE | Hitler reacts to Battle of Montreal | An alternative use for squid that has never crossed your mind before
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#10

The Rare and Elusive Male Hamster

I was actually thinking of posting this very thread a few days ago, because it was specifically the Muslim religion that got me going on this, and it was ignited by a post in that thread about the women getting charged after being 'raped' in UAE, with regards to some guy who got busted coming into UAE with 0.001 g of pot stuck to his shoe. But honestly I don't think any religion is better or worse when it comes to this stuff.

"Don't be an adulterer, so I have this fellow here who can marry me for 10 minutes to a second wife, then divorce me. So for me, it's all good. You? You're going to hell though" Also in the Arab world you often see hash, and there is every justification in the world why it's bad in general or other people should be arrested for it, but it's ok for *them*.

Jim Jeffries has a great bit in his latest standup routine about if God was at a party. "I hate young people fucking and i hate faggots!! ..i also hate people eating shrimp. I mentioned that eight times in my book. Where i only mentioned twice that i hate homosexuals. But people seem to like eating shrimp so ive forgotten all about that rule. But im still very certain i hate faggots! "
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