[Grayham]

noun

a person’s regular female companion with whom they have a romantic or sexual relationship: he lives with his girlfriend

(from Oxford Dictionaries)


One of the reasons I got into game was to be able to select a proper girlfriend when the time, and the girl, was right to settle down. I still believe this.

I've been actively persueing the PU lifestyle for a little over six years now. I started out as a virgin nerd with much to learn and turned into a woman slaying machine that is setting up his own real business now, has a consultant sidejob (personal improvement) and is breaching the lower strata of (inter)national politics. All thanks to PU. I have several girls on rotation in general and am never having trouble getting new ones in. All girls are of good quality too, seven and up. Some are local, some are out of town, most are from the university I attend which offers the 3rd largest variation in nationalities in the world, so you can imagine the look of my worldmap.

But enough establishing that I'm not a beginner for the preamble. This thread is in the newbie forum for a reason.

For all my girls on rotation, escapedes and whatnot, I've never had a girlfriend. Not before I got into PU, and not while practicing it. Now if one would follow the Oxford Dictionary I quoted at the beginning of the thread, a girlfriend would be considered a regular romantic or sexual relationship (how sex is not a prerequisite might be another good discussion for a different topic). So if having girls in rotating would constitute having a girlfriend. Ok, thanks, this thread is over....

But my personal definition of a girlfriend, and that of friends around me, is just a bit different. Your girlfriend is a significant female person with which you like spending time, do boring things with, bang on a regular frequent basis, show to your family, possibly want to live together with in time and have your kids with.

I tried several times to turn one of my regulars or a new girl into my girlfriend, whenever a rare 'keeper' comes along. Then I would identify signs of oneitis in me, switch back to abundance mode to get the beta out of my system, and basicly fuck it up with that girl. I have no idea how I do it, what I need to do, or what I'm doing wrong, but they always end up not as my girlfriend. Often out of rotation too.

I'm thinking several reasons could be my problem, including:

- I'm walking away too quickly when things even get a little tough;
- I'm not committing enough or know how to;
- I'm too set in my PU ways;
- I turn too needy when I identify a keeper, fuckup and disengage;
- I don't know what to do with a girl besides take for drinks and fuck;
- I'm not (un)interesting enough to have as a boyfriend.


Basicly, I don't have a fucking clue on how to actually get a girlfriend.

To use the words of Leeloo in the Fifth Element: Playas Halp!

[Virtus]

gf is a person who puts up with your shit & generally prioritizes your shit at the expense of other men and whose shit you're willing to put up with / prioritize in order to keep sexual things going on a long term basis and where the pain threshold of putting up with her shit is less than pain threshold of going to go get new strange pussy that don't cook.

[RustyShackleford]

That's a pretty funny situation my friend. I have something similar where I make girls fall in love with me after a couple months and they push that girlfriend talk early, and it causes many to fall out of the rotation early. I've stuck with engaging with mini relationships for my problem.

Have these girls ever brought up relationships with you? In my experience the girl often brings up being committed after a couple months. You don't want to engage or ask yourself "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" because it will weaken her attraction for you, as if you are showing a scarcity mentality.

How you treat the girls is how they will receive it. If you are always making them come over just for sex, they understand what it is. Instead, you could try to bring them to more date locations, and she will start to feel the relationship being pushed in that direction. Bring her out to a couple of date spots and I think she will at least inquire as to what you guys are, and where you are headed.

[Parlay44]

Dupe?

Samseu had a great write-up on the subject.

Check it out: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-10228.html

[Grayham]

(07-26-2013 09:05 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Dupe?

Samseu had a great write-up on the subject.

Check it out: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-10228.html

Had a look at that thread, but my problem seems to be quite different. The conclusion from that thread would be, 'fuck em ASAP and they'll stick'. Sure, I usually bang them either on the first night I meet them or at most 2 dates in. And they're sticking, for rotation, but I don't get the whole girlfriend thing. Also, I'm in the Netherlands.

(07-26-2013 05:17 PM)RustyShackleford Wrote:  

That's a pretty funny situation my friend. I have something similar where I make girls fall in love with me after a couple months and they push that girlfriend talk early, and it causes many to fall out of the rotation early. I've stuck with engaging with mini relationships for my problem.

Have these girls ever brought up relationships with you? In my experience the girl often brings up being committed after a couple months. You don't want to engage or ask yourself "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" because it will weaken her attraction for you, as if you are showing a scarcity mentality.

How you treat the girls is how they will receive it. If you are always making them come over just for sex, they understand what it is. Instead, you could try to bring them to more date locations, and she will start to feel the relationship being pushed in that direction. Bring her out to a couple of date spots and I think she will at least inquire as to what you guys are, and where you are headed.

Hmm. Girls haven't brought relations up before with me. Apart from the 'I have to be a relationship before I have sex...' '-sure....' And I don't engage in that sort of talk either. I'm quite strong in my frame of being single.

I think the essence of my problem is in the final part of your reply. They might just be there for the sex. But the thing is, I barely ever get to bring them to dating locations. Either I don't have the time for it, or whenever I invite a girl I like (besides for rolling around in the sack) for dinner, day out, sappywhatever, the usual reply is 'no, got other plans' or a simple 'don't want to' (and it arrives about 12 hours later) while the bootycall replies are often within five minutes and most often positive.

I just can't wrap my head around this. Something is putting them off and it annoys me because I want to have all these things down pat.

[N°6]

Girlfriends and wives are easy to get, a confidante is another matter.

[XY.]

Before i got into game i always had a steady gf that i would cheat on constantly. Usually i respond to her love advances two out of three or four times. It's a chore, but it keeps her locked in my world.

[Parlay44]

(07-27-2013 02:45 PM)XY. Wrote:  

Before i got into game i always had a steady gf that i would cheat on constantly. Usually i respond to her love advances two out of three or four times. It's a chore, but it keeps her locked in my world.

So you turn her down for sex? Can you expand on that a little bit?
Is it sex only when you want it and not when she wants it type of thing?

[XY.]

Definitely, Having a girlfriend is risky because it kinda makes you vulnerable to her fuckups (cheating, sneaking, lying, other shit that doesn't matter outside of a relationship) which is why i put her thru hell. I break her down to tears and in the next moment charm her until she is drooling over me. When i want sex i get it, but When she wants it sometimes i reject her and other times i make her jump thru hoops and shit before i let her have her prize.

[WestIndianArchie]

You might just be their Mr. Right Now. Good enough for sex, but not for anything else.

And now that you want something else, you can't get it from them.

There are 3 thing you can try to convert
- talk to them
- show them
- ignore them/be seen with another chick

But none of these options are a guaranteed lock.

You might have to start from scratch.

In which case, you run your alpha game as usual, but you have to give her a glimpse of that inner world. Who's the man beneath the armor? She can save you from yourself.

The more dark side approach is to give her something to do, so that you owe her a favor. The creditor always thinks that they have a hold on the debtor, when it's the other way around.

It's a good test for a relationship, whether she can take an order and follow orders where she doesn't get anything out of it.

Like you can command a chick in bed all night, but she's getting something out of it. Having her pick up a fed ex package from the regional center is totally something else.

Then you can throw a future statement at her, implying that the 2 of you have a future.

IME though, chicks usually love very early on. I've never had to convert. In my view, a chick that goes out on a date with me, sex is on the table. And after sex, love and affection are also on the table.

In a non-game relationship, if you manage to find someone that you click with, you want to spend all of your time with them and do stuff with them, do stuff for them, have them do stuff for you. You might fuck like jack rabbits, but you also watch TV, do homework, shop....

In a game relationship, usually the girl juggling means you can't spend a lot of time with anyone chick, and that interferes with the "natural course of things"

WIA