I was wonder whether you guys think it is optimal to go for the kiss at the end of casual afternoon coffee dates (or even during). I always go for it at the end of drink dates if I can't get them back to my place, but heard a while back that it would poison more casual daytime coffee dates. Is that generally true, false, or something I just have to calibrate? I still have some fun and sexualize the conversation a bit. I usually only go on coffee dates when there is no other choice.
Kiss on coffee dates?
I wouldn't go for the kiss on first time coffee date.
Just make sure to end it first and leave like a confident man.
Just make sure to end it first and leave like a confident man.
Don't do coffee dates unless you're already fucking her.
Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
Good question, I normally only try to do drinks (alcoholic) on the first date, and always go for the kiss, unless ofcourse we just aren't feeling each other for some reason, in which case I'd probably just bail. That said, I've been trying to game this cute redhead whose making herself out to be a real goodie-two-shoes, and declined to get drinks, but says she's up for coffee. My intuition says coffee dates are so weak on the attraction scale (if she was really into you, she probably would go on a night time drink date), that it's probably more of a "meet and greet" kind of a thing. It may be better to keep it more casual and friendly, but I guess it boils down to how much time are you willing to invest in a chick.
If you are down to go on 3-5 dates with her before the bang that's cool, but if you expect to fuck on the first date or aren't willing to do more than a few before the notch, than I'd say go for the kiss. If you go for the kiss and she rejects you than you know right off the bat not to waste any more time. I'd also go for the kiss if the date is going well, we got good kino going, are being flirtatious with each other. If there is no kino or flirtatious vibe, you'd be playing it safe by not going for the kiss.
My 2 cents.
If you are down to go on 3-5 dates with her before the bang that's cool, but if you expect to fuck on the first date or aren't willing to do more than a few before the notch, than I'd say go for the kiss. If you go for the kiss and she rejects you than you know right off the bat not to waste any more time. I'd also go for the kiss if the date is going well, we got good kino going, are being flirtatious with each other. If there is no kino or flirtatious vibe, you'd be playing it safe by not going for the kiss.
My 2 cents.
Do not meet a girl for the first time during the day period. No lunch, no coffee, nothing.
Quote: (06-20-2013 08:51 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:
Good question, I normally only try to do drinks (alcoholic) on the first date, and always go for the kiss, unless ofcourse we just aren't feeling each other for some reason, in which case I'd probably just bail. That said, I've been trying to game this cute redhead whose making herself out to be a real goodie-two-shoes, and declined to get drinks, but says she's up for coffee. My intuition says coffee dates are so weak on the attraction scale (if she was really into you, she probably would go on a night time drink date), that it's probably more of a "meet and greet" kind of a thing. It may be better to keep it more casual and friendly, but I guess it boils down to how much time are you willing to invest in a chick.
If you are down to go on 3-5 dates with her before the bang that's cool, but if you expect to fuck on the first date or aren't willing to do more than a few before the notch, than I'd say go for the kiss. If you go for the kiss and she rejects you than you know right off the bat not to waste any more time. I'd also go for the kiss if the date is going well, we got good kino going, are being flirtatious with each other. If there is no kino or flirtatious vibe, you'd be playing it safe by not going for the kiss.
My 2 cents.
Thanks. I agree and always push for evening drink dates (at my place if I think I can get away with it, even just for the predrink). It is just that some girls are busy and have valid excuses, and I don't mind getting the first date out of the way if I am busy that night too. Less than 10% of my first dates are afternoon dates.
I think you summed it up best. It probably won't poison the date; I'll just play it by ear.
While it's good to avoid coffee dates, there's no hard and fast rule that you can't do with coffee dates what you at night - namely bounce her to a second or third venue.
If you have the date in the late afternoon you can easily segue to going for a drink later, with possibly a pit-stop in between to go for a walk, people watch, go for ice cream, or what have you. Even if you don't get her to go for a drink, if you take her on a couple of mini-dates after the initial coffee meetup then a makeout or more will seem much more natural. Moreover, by that point it may be getting dark and you can go for the bang.
If you have the date in the late afternoon you can easily segue to going for a drink later, with possibly a pit-stop in between to go for a walk, people watch, go for ice cream, or what have you. Even if you don't get her to go for a drink, if you take her on a couple of mini-dates after the initial coffee meetup then a makeout or more will seem much more natural. Moreover, by that point it may be getting dark and you can go for the bang.
Quote: (06-20-2013 07:56 PM)Ferro Wrote:
I was wonder whether you guys think it is optimal to go for the kiss at the end of casual afternoon coffee dates (or even during). I always go for it at the end of drink dates if I can't get them back to my place, but heard a while back that it would poison more casual daytime coffee dates. Is that generally true, false, or something I just have to calibrate? I still have some fun and sexualize the conversation a bit. I usually only go on coffee dates when there is no other choice.
I don't know if this is an objectively hard situation, or a subjectively hard situation.
In general, if you have tight day game, the afternoon coffee should be followed by another "spontaneous" activity, which involves a venue change. And you can keep falling into adventure when the vibe is right.
So if that's the case, you can fall in for a few drinks, or at least get it in as the sun goes down - so it seems natural.
But if you're dead set on ending the date @ the end of coffee - going in for the kill will be much harder.
An alternative to daytime/afternoon coffee is a nice boozy brunch.
If a chick doesn't drink, and wants a coffee date, she's looking to screen. In which case, you're at best looking @ a day 2 scenario - so if that's what's happening, you have to sow the seeds.
WIA
there are so many better day time date activities why even bother with coffee?
My best work in the daytime has always been doing something somewhat active. the activity can give you nice breaks in the conversation so you lose a lot of the awkward pauses.
My best work in the daytime has always been doing something somewhat active. the activity can give you nice breaks in the conversation so you lose a lot of the awkward pauses.
Other than one time where a coffee date ended in a make out I haven't had any luck with them in the past especially those where you have limited time and can only meet for a short while. I have gotten a couple bangs from late afternoon coffee dates that transitioned into bar dates. Like the others have said try to meet at a bar from the get go.
Honestly, I'm flabbergasted by this disgust for coffee dates. Most of my dates are coffee dates that start around 4 pm to 8 pm and last 2-4 hours. Maybe it's different in Croatia, but I can't imagine taking the girl to anything other than a coffee date except if it was very late. Regardless of time of day, the odds of a girl ordering an alcoholic drink (even if I do) other than in a disco / club at night are very low.
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I often do coffee dates. Keep it between 45 and 90 minutes, and either politely leave, or take her to another venue or even directly home. I've banged several times from a first date at a coffee shop, then directly home, during the daytime. This is in Asia though.
Why can't you kiss on a coffee date? I posted a while back about my difficulties with escalating on dates, and people recommended venue changes, walking and longer dates. I've used that formula and even though I don't have much experience with it, I think it works.
Venue changes help the most with escalation, I think. You should be able to kiss the girl after one or two venue changes and some walking around, don't wait until the end of the date like a pussy.
Venue changes help the most with escalation, I think. You should be able to kiss the girl after one or two venue changes and some walking around, don't wait until the end of the date like a pussy.
beside subtle teasing semi kisses, i prefer to hold back and kiss where it can lead to sex afterwards. so we fool around first and feel that rising tension between us. this is very sexy to see in each others eyes that it's very likely to go down soon but not yet. that's what i sometimes say to keep that tension, "not here" with a smirk.
"Coffee dates" were you just sit in a coffee shop are silly. It feels like an interview. Just get a cup of coffee and then go for a walk around the city instead. It's a constant venue change and there are always of topics of conversation or things to do, e.g. playgrounds.
What matters first is the vibe.
Are you an experience that will blow her hamster out of the wheel?
If not, make it so.
Are you an experience that will blow her hamster out of the wheel?
If not, make it so.
Always kiss a girl the first time you hang out with her, regardless of where it's at OR bring it to the edge to tease her. Whatever you do, don't come across as somebody who's too afraid to make a move.
In general coffee/daytime dates is usually a very bad idea except if you have something planned for the rest of the evening. So unless you absolutely can't meet at night, avoid coffee dates at all cost.
However, I experimented a bit recently just to see if I can make something happen. Went on 3 broad daylight dates, 2 resulted in makeouts and 1 rejection(but she was a Serbian chick, so maybe not as easy as Americanas?). But the key in my case was even though they were daytime dates, they weren't at like a downtown coffee shop with nothing else around but rather at parks with plenty of room/atmosphere to just lay in the sun and walk around. Overall, I would say that the daytime vibe just isn't sexy enough, and you have to put double the amount of work. And certain key things just aren't possible like pulling her into a dark alley for further action.
However, I experimented a bit recently just to see if I can make something happen. Went on 3 broad daylight dates, 2 resulted in makeouts and 1 rejection(but she was a Serbian chick, so maybe not as easy as Americanas?). But the key in my case was even though they were daytime dates, they weren't at like a downtown coffee shop with nothing else around but rather at parks with plenty of room/atmosphere to just lay in the sun and walk around. Overall, I would say that the daytime vibe just isn't sexy enough, and you have to put double the amount of work. And certain key things just aren't possible like pulling her into a dark alley for further action.
Game is a necessary evil
The only times I can see coffee dates as a viable option is when you're really strapped for time and/or have other dates lined up for the evening that you consider to be hotter leads.
Oooooor if you can instadate someone from a day game pickup. In that case I'd do a 20 my min sit down before declaring I have something to attend to and suggest to follow up with happy hour.
I actually like coffee dates myself. My tendency to fuck shit up is helped immensely with a false time-constraint like a coffee date. And also I really don't enjoy the company of women except when fucking and even then i don't like them very much + I don't want to waste time wooing her for an evening over drinks that I am not sure I think are worth the likelihood of fucking. Just my view.
A year from now you'll wish you started today
Quote: (06-23-2013 06:17 AM)Vicious Wrote:Vicious, I used to have that exact same mindset and would often times squeeze in a 30 min coffee date before another evening date and at least for me, it seemed like no matter how well the coffee date went I would never see the woman again. It was almost like the woman's hamster rationalized the fact that I had to end the date early as there being no chemistry and if I really had liked her I would have stayed longer.
The only times I can see coffee dates as a viable option is when you're really strapped for time and/or have other dates lined up for the evening that you consider to be hotter leads.
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