[Prophylaxis]

Here's a great insight into the importance of establishing your life in your 20's. This is more applicable to women (re: family), but we can definitely apply some of the concepts to our own lives.

The concept of creating 'identity capital' and undertaking activities which add value to our life is critical.

As we all know, jumping on and off the carousel (she uses the metaphor of musical chairs) - can wreck havoc on a young women's future, the partner she is with and her ability to consciously choose her partner. As all too often she will just settle and grab what she can, before it becomes too late.

As men, we need to have a solid gameplan established and a rough trajectory of where we will be, in all facets of life (health, business, love-life). She mentions that 80% of the life changing decisions we make will happen before the age of 35.

When I see some of my friends (the male equivalent of the carousel riders) in their mid-twenties - go from bar job to bar job, smoke weed every 2nd day, live with their parents, same girlfriend from high-school - you can't help but think they won't be too different in 10, 20 or 30 yrs time.

The metaphor of a 20-something being a plane which has recently departed an airport, is spot on. Any slight change in the trajectory at the start will have enormous consequences on your destination.

Take home message - don't let your 20's slip by you. Let these years define who you will be for the rest of your life.

[2Wycked]

This is a great video. Really spoke to me.

I do have one major quibble - it is worthless for my generation. We don't have the ability to change as a group. She presents the profile of that woman who worked as an event planner for an art museum - given what we know about hypergamy, what makes you think that hubby love is real?

More broadly, my generation is the graveyard of liberal autonomy theory. We, as a class, have little direction and a shaky identity. Sure, much of that is the inferior level of parenting we received from adults, but it still is our responsibility as adults.

I do know many couples, but far more singles. The coupled people are usually upper-middle class or rich. They had stable family situations. The majority of my generation are drifters with no stable identity. I am seeing that Facebook rush for relationships. I recently shut down some woman who suddenly started hitting me up on Facebook. I told her to find somebody else she thinks she is settling for. As much as I desire a wife, I am not playing that bullshit game.

I know so many 20-something servers and low-level workers. She papers over the fact that the economic "recovery" was for older workers. My generation is drowning in student loan debt & poor career outlooks.

I have had this same fucking discussion with dipshit women time & again. They say they want a financially stable man, but I always point out the job they took could have gone to a man. They almost always respond that is sexist -but you just said you want a man with paper - where the fuck does that come from? A job - no shit. You want tall, moneyed with at least a Bachelor degree. Your pool of men, when controlling for singlehood, is vanishingly small.

As for autonomy theory, see what it does to men. Unable to get laid, they say fuck it and start smoking weed, tossing back 40's and playing Call of Duty all day. The woman in the video talks of sex in a person's 20's as being a game of musical chairs. You mean a ratio of 3 dudes for every 10 women? She doesn't display any understanding of sexuality.

I had this in therapy, when my therapist claimed men did not have any more difficulty in getting laid than women. I cited a statistic that proved women have far more STD's than men because they are fucking the same men. She did not like my contention and told me all you have to do is be real and honest and women will sleep with you. I let it go because she was hot & didn't have the ability to see beyond her own hamster.

Back on point, she ignores the fact many men are on the outside looking in on sexuality and love. This fact necessitates that they don't invest in their life because they don't see themselves as sexually relevant. Why bust your ass at a job you hate - it is not like you got a wife & kids back home. Our society has forgotten the need for beta male hard work.

For the individual who truly wants to change, this video is solid gold. For most people my age, however, it just a share on Facebook or Twitter to show off how psychologically aware you are.

[Therapsid]

The larger issue here is rampant credentialism.

That is, even for the cognitive elite, even for the rarefied upper stratum of millennials who are both innately gifted and hard-working, the modern system of professions requires more years of study and credentials than past generations.

For example, to be a teacher you are almost required to have a masters whereas a bachelors sufficed before. A whole swath of professions now require graduate degrees which did not in the recent past. And careers which did not require PhD's now demand doctorates and post-doctorates.

Across the board, the major professions require more paper credentials today than ever before. The result is that, yes, by necessity 30 is the new 20, through no fault of young people today.

[Kickb]

Haha

One of my friends told me I'm trying to grow up too fast. He said I should stop caring so much about making money now and to be carefree.

Fuck that shit

[Anon-A-Moose]

(06-09-2013 12:52 AM)Prophylaxis Wrote:  

The metaphor of a 20-something being a plane which has recently departed an airport, is spot on. Any slight change in the trajectory at the start will have enormous consequences on your destination.

Fuck I hope that's not true. If it is I'm SO fucked.

[kazz]

I know who i am now in my late 30s, if I started my career and went to uni in my 20s I would have made the total wrong decision, wasted money and did a career i did not want to do, i also had no clue about the type of women i wanted, so if i were to get married (no fucking way i would) but it would have been the wrong decision. This lady says some on point things, but really most is just typical negative western bullshit; who says a career and long term relationship will make you happy!?. I spent my 20s traveling the world and fucking women, would not change it for the world. Keep a level head, do the shit you have to do to get ahead, but most of all have fun in life, be yourself and be happy being you, let the cards fall where they may.

[ElJefe]

I think this is a terrific thread.

Anyone have a good idea how to post affirmations to always keep them at the forefront of your mind?

I was about to goof off today but am now being more productive, lol

[bacon]

The only gender which is biologically in a rush to get their shit together is women since the deadline for having kids is at age 40 due to their fertility. Men can slack off and put having kids/wife off until far later in life with no real reprocussions. So in my opinion for men your 30s are the new 20s since men do not face the same biological pressure women do start a family before 40 years of age.

[Valentine]

@ElJefe - Unfortunately the classic idea of repeating affirmations daily in front of a mirror is ineffective. It's based on a misunderstanding of the belief formation.

The only way to create a strong, long-lasting belief is through accumulating reference experiences that support that belief. This means reading and watching lots about how other people have wasted their 20s, how others have used their 20s to set themselves up for life and also using their examples in your own life.

The problem with affirmations is that people think they can listen or repeat some messages about how great they could be and think that will magically them successful. Bullshit. To get where you want to be in life you have to put in work.

They can be utilised in an effective manner however. First you need to accumulate some short affirmations which encapsulate the mindset shift you want eg "My 20s are an extremely important time - my intelligence hasn't crystallised yet so I need to take advantage of this time to become the best person I can be".

Then whenever you read them (eg set a daily calendar reminder or alarm) you need to take IMMEDIATE action which is congruent with the message. For example, just do one thing no matter how small which reflects that belief eg read one article that you saved for later or a chapter in a book.

When you act congruently with a belief it is reinforced, if you see the affirmation and don't act it instead reinforces that the belief is unimportant. Changing your behaviour is the fastest way to change your beliefs (ie hamster rationalisation), so take advantage of this quirky aspect of human psychology.

[ElJefe]

well, more like remind myself of what goals I have.

I suppose it's important to keep a regular calender that refers directly to an overall set of goals already stipulated?

[Hoodlum]

I "wasted" a lot of my 20s smoking weed, playing World of Warcraft, and being in 2 LTRs for a combined total of 7 years. Fortunately throughout that time, I made sure my career was advancing steadily in computer programming, and I kept plugging away at the gym, despite having a shitty training regime.

Upshot of it was, when I hit 30 and finally pulled my finger out, I was able to build off the foundation of just those 2 things and make more progress in the last 18 months than in the rest of my life put together, lifting myself from the middle of the pack in terms of wealth, looks and success with women to now being in the top .1%, with retirement from full-time work into full financial independence on the horizon by the end of the year.

Look after your career and body above all else. The rest can be relatively quickly sorted out when you finally get to the age where you're motivated enough to decide to turn your life around. It comes at different points for different people.

[Captain Ahab]

I think people in The West are too obsessed with age, especially Americans.

It's as if one is fucked in America if they don't do the born---> pre-k/head start--->elementary school--->middle school--->highschool--->college--->career--->girlfriend/spouse--->marriage--->house--->kids---->save for kids college/pay for mortgage--->kids go off to college--->retire--->die. Path.

There are plenty of people in their 30's in many countries who are dirt poor without family or children. Have they wasted their life?

Set your own path.

Life isn't some formula that is calculated where everything is set in stone. You may have a kid unexpectedly, you may offend a woman who throws a false rape charge your way, your car may fuck up and you have to dip in your savings to buy a new one rather than spending that 27th Birthday in Thailand. You may just say fuck it, toss the 401k in your savings account, sell all your possessions, and go live on an island for a couple years, cracking open coconuts and banging native chicks.

Translation? SHIT HAPPENS.

Just work hard and move forward with every chance you get. Try to make everyday better than your last.

Hell, I'm 29 just getting started. I'm on the ground floor...but I don't regret the last 28 years of my life. I guess I should have a wife and kid by now. I guess I should have a career. I guess "30 isn't the new 20."



BITCH Pleaseeeee.




Stan Lee didn't even create Spider-Man until he was 40. As long as you are alive you are still in the game.


"Life is a journey, not a destination."-Emerson.


Enjoy the journey my friends.

[Gmac]

I have a better idea, live your life how you want. We aren't here for a long time, we're here for a good time.

[Ensam]

Seems like a talk aimed more at women then men. I know lots of guys who spent their 20s fucking off and then turned it around in their 30s, sometimes even 40s. Women... not so much. Most women I know who didn't have their shit figured out at 28 didn't have it figured out at 38 either. Sad.

[PhilE]

(06-09-2013 08:26 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I think people in The West are too obsessed with age, especially Americans.

It's as if one is fucked in America if they don't do the born---> pre-k/head start--->elementary school--->middle school--->highschool--->college--->career--->girlfriend/spouse--->marriage--->house--->kids---->save for kids college/pay for mortgage--->kids go off to college--->retire--->die. Path.

There are plenty of people in their 30's in many countries who are dirt poor without family or children. Have they wasted their life?

Set your own path.

Life isn't some formula that is calculated where everything is set in stone. You may have a kid unexpectedly, you may offend a woman who throws a false rape charge your way, your car may fuck up and you have to dip in your savings to buy a new one rather than spending that 27th Birthday in Thailand. You may just say fuck it, toss the 401k in your savings account, sell all your possessions, and go live on an island for a couple years, cracking open coconuts and banging native chicks.

Translation? SHIT HAPPENS.

Just work hard and move forward with every chance you get. Try to make everyday better than your last.

Hell, I'm 29 just getting started. I'm on the ground floor...but I don't regret the last 28 years of my life. I guess I should have a wife and kid by now. I guess I should have a career. I guess "30 isn't the new 20."



BITCH Pleaseeeee.




Stan Lee didn't even create Spider-Man until he was 40. As long as you are alive you are still in the game.


"Life is a journey, not a destination."-Emerson.


Enjoy the journey my friends.

Co-Sign.

What about those of us WHO TRIED not to waste their 20's.

What about of us who read books like Think & Grow Rich, Magic of Thinking BIG, 7 habits of Highly Effective People, Thick Face Black Heart, Awaken The Giant Within, Seeds of Greatness, Power of Focus, Rich Dad Poor Dad, The E-Myth, and tons of other self help and entrepreneurial books that encourages you to start a business (major red pill) vs working for someone who did (major blue pill) And in the course of that we either don't finish college or never go. But we don't sit on our hands we go out and actually TRY and start a business and spend all of our 20's trying to be the person who doesnt WASTE their 20s. But still end up, in a sense, a failure because our ventures didn't pan out the way we planned.

and now that we are in our 30s and nothing tangible to show for it, it seems as if we wasted our 20s. Its not like people know my effort when i tell them my age. I hate that. Which is why when someone say 30's is the new 20's it gives me HOPE that i can still be success and young enough to enjoy it. That i can still have hot young women consider me desirable and that the money i generate from business is an added bonus and not a necessity because im considered old.


On a side note, I hate looking at 30 under 30 profiles from Inc.com, I hated looking at them when i was college because they are not always profiles of handwork and sacrifice....a lot of times it has to do with luck as well, right place, right time, right idea, right time WITH the right resources to pull it off.

I love stories of redemption in later years because most of us will identify with that more than being a success at an early age.

[bacon]

Quote:

A lot of people say to me, “I’m 25 years old and still have no idea what my purpose in life should be.” When Colonel Sanders was 25 he still had yet to be a fireman, a street car conductor, a farmer, a steamboat operator, and finally he ran a service station where he sold chicken. The chicken was great and people love it but he didn’t start making real money until he started franchising at the age of 65. That’s the age he was when he found his “purpose” in life.

Quote:

One of my favorite writers of all time: Stan Lee, created the entire universe for which he is known for: the Marvel Universe, when he was 44, inventing the characters Spiderman, The Fantastic Four, the Avengers, etc.

If you don’t like to kill people but still need a weapon, consider the Taser, invented by Jack Cover when he was 50. He didn’t sell a single one until he was 60.

If you like restaruant reviews you might have read Zagats. Started by Tim Zagat who quit his job as a lawyer in order to create the book of reviews when he was 51.

Quote:

Charles Darwin was a little bit “off” by most standards. He liked to just collect plants and butterflies on remote islands in the Pacific. And then he wrote Origin of Species when he was 50.

To top it all off, Henry Ford was a failure at his first Model T car, invented when he was 45, because he didn’t yet have the productivity efficiencies of the assembly line, which he developed when he was 60.

This is not meant to be inspirational. You might never have your “great” thing that you do. I’m not even saying “it’s the journey that one should love”. Because some journeys are very painful. And nobody says you get special marks in death if you wrote a great novel at the age of 50. Or came up with a great chicken, or a way to stuff lots of people into factories. I’ve stumbled and fallen and got up and survived enough that I’m sick of goals and purposes and journeys. I want to cut out the middleman. The journey. The desperation and despair that thinking of a “purpose” entails. Fuck purpose. It’s ok to be happy without one.

http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2013/01/fin...e-in-life/

[Prophylaxis]

Men would be foolish to think their 20's is a void decade because we aren't in a rush to reproduce like our female counterparts.

The bottom line is any man who has made the effort in actively improving his social/work/health/love life in his 20's has a massive advantage over those that haven't.

[Eirykr]

It seems like the forum here is divided between those who value an objective purpose to their life (a career, a driving passion, the attainment of wealth) and those who value a more hedonic, carefree type of lifestyle.

Falling into the latter category myself I think a lot of people who come from the former camp would probably judge me as having wasted my life now that I'm 31, but personally anytime I've had to work very hard at some minimum wage job I've felt more like I was wasting my life than when I was partying and drinking almost every day in college and working part time.

There's nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you want to do in life while in highschool, working your ass off and doing 80-hour weeks to make bank (sometimes I even envy that single-minded focus). If that's what makes your blood pump and gets your endorphins spurting that's great and more power to you--but it isn't for everyone. Of course everyone wants to make more money and be more comfortable, but at a certain point I've found I don't need more than healthy meals, a set of iron, a reliable vehicle and decent healthcare. There's a point where the ROI on making money versus living your life starts falling into the negative in terms of the quality of your life.

Maybe for some people that threshold is much higher, but I'm quite happy I "wasted" my 20s living in a dilapidated shithole of a leaking, mold-infested house with a few other guys, getting drunk and learning how to bang broads from the private college up the street. Before that I was a highschool dropout with no friends, no social skills and a virgin. That experience shaped who I am today and without it I probably would have been a complete Incel loser.

Our culture is obsessed with these little myths. That everyone is just naturally born with some talent and all they need to do is find that talent and somehow they will be able to become a great success story. That anyone who doesn't work 60+ hours a week is a loser with no work ethic. That most great people do the great thing they're famous for before they're out of their 20's, so if you want to be anything worth being recognized for then you better do it in your 20's.

I'd rather dance while the music is playing.

[vinman]

Late teens to mid 20's I was a soldier focusing on staying alive, reading, traveling, and getting laid. Mid 20's to early 30's I was working and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with myself. 32 to current day I've been working my career, and I have 6 years until I retire and move into a new career in the medical field. Still single, and unless I run into Wonder Woman I'm going to stay single.

[Grit]

This mentality is an unsustainable byproduct of feminism and free sex, despite the current reality of it being our best option.

In earlier generations, people understood this. Kids started working at age 13 or younger- full-on intern or salary work. Why? Because they recognized the reality that in four years you were going to start banging chicks and with no reliable birth control, 'happy accidents' are going to happen. With birth control, a society that ignores childbearing as a sign of adulthood is doomed to fail, simply because there is no effort to replace yourself.

As to the woman in the video, I reject the message. Her message is not about psychiatry. Its about rationalizing the cock carousel. In no way will i give a woman help with that, aka making her feel good about her bad decisions. In fact, i wont even 'lend her an ear,' because that is when a person with weak moral constitution tries to make you complicit as well.

Standing in the public square and proclaiming "I committed the crime!" is simply a pussy's way of making others responsible for turning you in. It demonstrates that the pussy believes he or she is guilty but is too self-interested to turn them-self in. That is the real poison to constructive society.

This type of flagellation starts with women at the cusp of spinsterhood. And of course their advise is earnest and their pleas valid. But young women simply have no reason for listening to it. In fact, if you believe her message, watch the following TedX video of an underwear model on the cusp of spinsterhood. Tell me how the psychiatrist's message is any more informed or educated than the underwear model's message. You simply don't need an education to figure this out. Watch the transformation take shape in front of your very eyes.

[michelin]

I like the video and agree on a lot of what she says. But I also dislike the hysterical idea that you HAVE to learn in your twenties.

I learned working hard in my 20s. I started gaming after. No regrets. Do what works best for you.