[The Beast1]

Afternoon everyone,

I have a question for some of you older folk. I started working as a "big brother" for an inner city big brother's program. I have a new kid and he's actually a really solid guy.

What's a good way to instil some "red pill" advice in him without scaring him off?

[Giovonny]

Lead by example. Talking about it usually confuses things. Just demonstrate the proper behavior. He's just a kid. Don't make it a big deal. Let him have fun and make mistakes. Just be there to support and answer questions. After he goes through puberty you can have more detailed conversations about women. Let him just be a kid for a few more years.

[Caligula]

Don't try to teach him lessons or preach. Just be a good role model, be honest and treat him like an adult. Show him you care about him and be lenient with his mistakes, but don't shy away from pointing them out to him. Hold yourself to high standards and hold him to high standards without beating him down.

I second Giovonny, kid is still young, let him be a kid for a while longer.

As for the "open phone" thing don't expect him to be proactive. You have to take the initiative if you want to talk to him and spend time with him. If you have friends who are good role models invite him along when you're hanging out. Your conversation and the way you relate to each other as friends will rub off on him and be an important influence. Be prepared for him not being able to hold much of a conversation yet. Engage him nonetheless and you'll see him improve.

[little wing]

Tell him to always stand up for himself and the ones he cares about, even if it means getting his ass kicked.
That's what a man does

[The Beast1]

Thanks guys, this is all very useful stuff. He grew up in a foster home, but finally was adopted a year ago. Resilient little guy.

[Giovonny]

Call him and check in with him every week or so. Let him know that you are there for him

[Sonsowey]

Little bits of wisdom that don't form a full ideology are usually easier to swallow.

Trying to drop a whole suite of new beliefs on someone will just make them reject it.

Showing them the truth bit by bit makes it easier to swallow.

Hell, even waiting for them to see it and you just sorta helping clarify.

For instance, if he starts getting involved in girls, help put his experience in perspective re: what they react well to, and what they don't. What they say they want, and what they actually show they want. Help him realize they may say 1 thing and act a totally different way.

Just little by little.

I remember this one kid, a neighbor of mine. In the summers the whole neighborhood would hang out outside. He was in middle school when I was in college. He was a fat awkward kid who had a crush on the cute girl in class and bought her jewelry, concert tickets, and she didn't want anything to do with him.

His mother in no way stopped him from doing this (dad wasn't around). He kinda looked up to me (probably did to any older male figure) and I was telling him not to do this, that you shouldn't give things to someone to try to make them like you. He wouldn't buy it at all. I tried to help him understand that someone has to want to spend time with you without you wasting all your money on them, you have to interest her yourself.

Nope, he kept on wasting all his money (where was he even getting any money?) on this chick...

Ask any parent, it can be near impossible to get through to kids. They just don't see the world the way an adult does. Try to communicate to him on his own level, try to relate to him as best you can. People are resistant to older people telling them how to be, they don't want to change because you told them to, you have to lead him down a path where he realizes things for himself.