[Carmo]

Lately it seems like I have been turning down a lot of sure things, or at least the opportunity for easy sex with a little work. I have been relying a lot on social circle but the fall out that inevitably comes with sex is just not worth the few hours of pleasure that I would get.

I am in my early 30’s and friends are becoming more important to keep than any one night of sex. I am a bit of a player and don’t like relationships. I have a lot of things going for me though so I am the type of guy that girls can picture themselves with long term. The great part is that its easy to get sex, the hard part is that girls don’t ever want to just have a one time deal. The other thing is that none of these girls are super hot. Its easy to turn down a lot of 6’s and 7’s when I know that they couldn’t keep my attention long term.

If I hook up with friends of friends it just causes a ton of issues that I don’t want to deal with.

Anybody else have this problem?

Carmo

[Every10GivesMeA10]

"Anybody else have this problem?"

Since when is this called a problem?

[WanderingSoul]

(05-26-2013 02:55 AM)Carmo Wrote:  

Lately it seems like I have been turning down a lot of sure things, or at least the opportunity for easy sex with a little work. I have been relying a lot on social circle but the fall out that inevitably comes with sex is just not worth the few hours of pleasure that I would get.

I am in my early 30’s and friends are becoming more important to keep than any one night of sex. I am a bit of a player and don’t like relationships. I have a lot of things going for me though so I am the type of guy that girls can picture themselves with long term. The great part is that its easy to get sex, the hard part is that girls don’t ever want to just have a one time deal. The other thing is that none of these girls are super hot. Its easy to turn down a lot of 6’s and 7’s when I know that they couldn’t keep my attention long term.

If I hook up with friends of friends it just causes a ton of issues that I don’t want to deal with.

Anybody else have this problem?

Carmo

No. Friends of friends are 100% fair game. Since you are a player, and have all of these 7's throwing themselves at you, then they know the score.

It sounds like the problem here is that for some reason after you bang the friend of a friend, there is a ton of drama surrounding you that shouldn't be. If your friend brings a friend around, who is throwing herself at you, and you have sex with her, why would that cause you to lose a friend?

Now, if you are leading the friends on and making them think there is a future with you, then yeah, you could ruffle some feathers. However, if you are not doing this, then your "friends" need to grow some thicker skin. I've never had a friend get angry at me for banging on of her friends. It's usually quite the opposite.

[Carmo]

I should have probably clarified. Not saying they are throwing themselves at me but they are making it very clear they want to hook up. The friends that i am talking about are female friends so yes, there is always drama afterwards.

Also, friends of people I do business with. I don't want to do anything that would damage a business relationship that has been beneficial which was the case last night.

I guess the bigger questions is just that do you ever get to a point that its just not worth the headache?

I usually dont have a lot of one night stands so it seems like everyone i am sleeping with is somehow connected to my group of friends of business acquaintances. The expression "there is no such thing as a free lunch" comes to mind when I think about this. It just gets to the point where I dont feeling like dealing with the BS afterwards.

[tiggaling]

I understand your problem for sure.

Really, you just need to step outside of your social circle, spend more time in the wild making approaches. Go for 8's and 9's only and challenge yourself. No point dealing with 6's and 7's you are not interested in. By approaching you get to make your pick, social circle, you are relying on whatever turns up and if you're not really attracted then why bother? (as you are saying, especially as you have found there can be unwanted drama and BS)

[xmlenigma]

I was once offered a 3 some at 3 am. One hottie and another her older (not attractive) friend. They were part of my crew and I just did not want to complicate things as I had a stream of girls thanks to partying with the crew and social proofing new chicas at clubs.

[Gmac]

There's a difference between selection and stupidity. If you are a rockstar getting quality pussy, would you still bang all the random slores who threw themselves at you? Well, I would... but that's a different story.

[gamepadawan]

(05-26-2013 02:55 AM)Carmo Wrote:  

Lately it seems like I have been turning down a lot of sure things, or at least the opportunity for easy sex with a little work. I have been relying a lot on social circle but the fall out that inevitably comes with sex is just not worth the few hours of pleasure that I would get.

I am in my early 30’s and friends are becoming more important to keep than any one night of sex. I am a bit of a player and don’t like relationships. I have a lot of things going for me though so I am the type of guy that girls can picture themselves with long term. The great part is that its easy to get sex, the hard part is that girls don’t ever want to just have a one time deal. The other thing is that none of these girls are super hot. Its easy to turn down a lot of 6’s and 7’s when I know that they couldn’t keep my attention long term.

If I hook up with friends of friends it just causes a ton of issues that I don’t want to deal with.

Anybody else have this problem?

Carmo

next step, bj game see how many times you can get your dick sucked by sevens

[Timoteo]

If there's the potential to ruin important relationships, or just cause a lot of drama, I agree that you should pass. Fucking around within a circle can definitely be problematic. It obviously depends on the nature of the relationship in the first place. If you were the kind of guy that depended on social circle to get laid, it would be different. You don't appear to be that kind of guy, so it's not that big of a deal to pass on a chick or two. It isn't a matter of them being fair game or not - however, I've always avoided fooling around within friendship circles, and don't holler at other guy's ex's, etc.

[eradicator]

What problem? Just don't pump and dump them, put them on a rotation.(don't be a douche and you will be fine).

I don't see any reason to be turning down 7s that are clearly interested in you unless you are already banging 8s and 9s. If they really don't pass the boner test, don't ask them out. I

[mistermister]

i'm in a similar position. it's not worth it. there's very rarely any thing that's no strings attached. ultimately it doesn't seem to be worth the menial time and effort to bang out a 7 who will be clingy after the fact. i used to regret turning broads down. sometimes it's just as satisfying as getting the bang. i'm early 30s. 70+> notches lifetime. i'm more interested in the challenge these days...

[Carmo]

Good advice guys, thank you.