[kaotic]

That's a fair assessment, you know her better then we do, so I'm basing this on only what I've literally read about her.

Personally the less she knows about other girls, is better in my book.

There's great ways to to tell her you'll drop her.

I'll make jokes about trading her in for a newer model, or that "keep it up and I'll start taking interviews for a replacement lol"

You get what I'm saying.

So basically it's wait and see at this point - if you don't think she's fucking around - good then you're in a healthy state of mind.

I honestly think you'll be fine and her being unnerved is hinting that she doesn't want to lose you

BUT you never know with women, stay frosty out there, and hopefully she'll act right once she's back in your bed.

[Thrill Jackson]

After getting my shit together I am starting to game again and getting numbers everyday. Just need to better at converting these numbers to dates. It's tough..... But that's game.

Just need to get more interesting, be a better conversation, drop more bait, have more energy, etc.

Feels good to be approaching every day again though

[Bucephalus]

@ Arafat Scarf

Well done on keeping a level head about the whole affair. I'd also like to voice my appreciation for the wisdom of the group.

We all have different boundaries for relationship behaviours and ways to manage these. Speaking from experience, it's very useful to have a variety of perspectives to refer to.

(09-18-2018 12:57 PM)arafat scarf Wrote:  

Do you make a direct disapproving remark and let it ride from there? (Me)

Do you say nothing at all, let things unfold and let her character reveal itself? (Noir)

Do you take the heavy hand with standards and ultimatums and announce that her behavior is totally unacceptable? (Phinaes)

Do you try to discourage the situation in some way? (ksbms)

Or do you just drop her completely? (the.king)

I still don't know.

Perhaps the tone of my earlier post comes across to you as heavy-handed, even reactive. You misunderstand me. I simply mean asserting how it is you feel about her behaviour and whether that is acceptable to you or not. No LTR can be fun and sparkles 100% of the time. And I agree with Noir and others: There is zero gain to be had by behaving reactively.

And by that I mean you being attached to a certain behavioural outcome from her. People usually attempt this by becoming angry, raising their voice, or even (god forbid) pleading or supplicating.

The way I would play it is keeping calm, confident, and matter-of-fact. Don't seek to punish her emotionally or act passive-aggressively. And don’t try to "make her" do anything –  I wouldn't give her an ultimatum. I would state the plain truth: That I don't feel comfortable with her staying with her friend, and that I am uncertain as to how it will impact the future of the relationship.

(09-18-2018 12:57 PM)arafat scarf Wrote:  

Like I mentioned, The way I decided to handle it since last week was to tell her during one of our video chats that I don't like the situation - that it crosses a line for me.

Well, if you delivered this without emotionally over-reaching, then you did well.

Again, you are not reacting, your are responding. Taking ownership of how you want to run your life, and your relationships. In my experience, girls respect this. A lot. I would go so far as to call it a DHV in LTRs.

In turn, her response will be very telling, as as Noir said, you can read her character much better by her response.

(09-18-2018 12:57 PM)arafat scarf Wrote:  

she offered to find other accommodation

This is a win. It sounds as though she respects you enough and may care about the longevity of the LTR. Of course, it may not be the truth, but you would know that (again, her past behaviour).

(09-18-2018 12:57 PM)arafat scarf Wrote:  

told her that option wasn't good because I know it'll make her resentful. I said the position she put me in isn't a good one, but that I'd prefer she stay with him and that we'll wait and see

This is a fail. You are not respecting the same intuitions that made you bring up the whole thing in the first place. If you weren't interested in her finding a solution to this problem, then why did you bring it up? It is also a demonstration of weak will - not attractive.

(09-18-2018 12:57 PM)arafat scarf Wrote:  

Since that moment when I expressed my disapproval, I've been sparse in my communications with her. No continuous dialogue, no affection, just tritely positive 'Have fun!' type messages or a photo once every 2-3 days. She'd ask questions about the photos and what I was up to but I've been blowing them off.

Now you're being passive aggressive. Is this really the sort of communication you want in your LTRs? Lead by example (@Dream Medicine)

(09-18-2018 12:57 PM)arafat scarf Wrote:  

Then I joked that she shouldn't have too much 'boomboom' with her roomie. Warning her against having too much 'boomboom' even had me laughing about the situation…

Needy. The ship had already sunk (@Dalaran), now the wreckage is being plundered for whatever little treasure remained…

(09-18-2018 12:57 PM)arafat scarf Wrote:  

We got on a chat later, and she was unnerved and started asking if what I said was a joke. I told her to relax, I was just having a good time and that I wanted to use the word 'boomboom' in a sentence. She got somewhat serious and she insisted that she only wants me, so on and so forth. I told her okay I hear you, no more jokes lets be very serious now. I didn't apologize, but I did concede that if she doesn't like those kinds of jokes I won't make them. I changed the subject to something else playful and kept the chat light and fun. Basically gave her the loose, fun player vibe though inside I felt heavy.

She's staying in her own room and the other dude is across the hall. Like Noir said, if her intentions are bad, she likely wouldn't have mentioned anything about staying with the guy - she would've probably lied before and she would be lying now. My gut instinct has me believing that there's nothing in play here and that she's really just staying with a guy who she's already friend-zoned. Of course, I could be wrong, but this is the situation as it appears to me.

You're attempting to damage-control some pretty severe damage. I disagree with Noir in this instance, simply because I've known girls who have played the LTR game and still openly met with lots of "friends" who were, without a shade of doubt, hook-ups. Again her insistence of being faithful is "nice" but isn't very informative – she could be playing you or not. Refer again: Her past actions.

(09-18-2018 12:57 PM)arafat scarf Wrote:  

For now and going forward I'll be distantly positive and playful. Maybe the occasional gesture of affection if I feel like it, but I'm tilting calculating and cold on the inside. I won't make a scene or bring up the topic...

...At some point in another conversation, I'll bring up the fact that her staying with that guy still doesn't sit right, and that if she likes to do things like stay at guys' houses or if I get a feeling that something in the winds are changing for her then I'll instinctively go back to 'a more natural state of having fun with people who come into our lives'. I think she'll get the picture. And if she pulls any kind of suspicious shit again, I'll make good on it and run around on her like a track athlete.

I think you are delaying a decision on what you want out of this relationship and that comes at an opportunity cost to you, especially given your age.

From what you have written there are no serious deal-breakers for her being LTR material but there are glaring questions.

I would charm her. And at the right moments dig deep for her values, her past relationship behaviour, her family upbringing, her opinion towards family values, etc. And in that context I would judge if I would feel comfortable with her travelling alone or not.

You wouldn't need to bring up the trip again to know if she is a keeper or not. My intuition says not.

As I ended my last post, solo travel may be this LTR's fall from grace into the muddy depths of distrust.

And without trust you don't have an exclusive LTR… you have a plate.

[arafat scarf]

Once again, thanks for the feedback guys.

You guys are probably right that I could've done without the 'boomboom' comment. It wasn't particularly out of character based on sense of humor and other jokes I've made, but looking back, no comment would've been better.

At this point I'm going to go on doing what feels right to instinct - just keep the dynamic light, playful but a bit more distant as I wait to see what unfolds. All told, I feel like I've handled the matter overall with a steady hand despite the inner turbulence and there's been no cooling effect from her. The wide range of perspectives are valuable guidance for what to do + how to respond from here on.

I'll post a short epilogue when the situation resolves.

[Funkbus40]

Guys I am in a weird situation.

I asked a 8.5-9 out on a date, she is 26 I am 21. Basically I talked and texted her for a week and had lunch. Built up a lot of value and had her texting me first. I asked her out in person and she denied me mainly because she dosent want to date a "much younger guy".

Naturally I said "thanks for not wasting my time" and Nexted.

Here is where it gets weird. In the week and a half since I asked her out she has on 3 different occasions ran up to me and hugged me in the city streets as I walked by on the other side of the street. Also while I am studying in the library she approaches from my behind and starts conversation. During these stops I have always made small talk and told her I am busy and had to go, but in a nice way not cold. There has been no texting between us since she denied me.

Aside from nexting, mainly due to the fact I have other girls on deck, what should I do? I want to bang but I cant tell If she is trying to turn me into an attention device or if there is some valid interest. Can provide more info if needed.

Appreciate the insight and expertise this forum has.

[AneroidOcean]

(09-19-2018 03:13 PM)Funkbus40 Wrote:  

Guys I am in a weird situation.

"Woah, excuse me this is my side of the street. The old ladies side is the other side, you can't cross!"

I'd just fuck with her incessantly partially because she might take it as a challenge and partially because it would be fun. Shit eating grin on your face.

[kaotic]

You fucked up on the date a few ways:

You put this girl on a pedestal.

You only went to lunch with her - that's a "friend date".

You asked her out to be your GF/BF without much to show for it. - Remember a woman should be chasing you down and wanting to be your GF, she should be asking you "what are we?"

You barely know this chick, you barely went on a date with her, so you barely built value in her head.

You failed her shit test of "being a younger man" - when you should've laughed and said I've seen older girls act 12, or age is just a number, or you're only old as you feel, etc

Move on from this chick, you already see that she's trying to make you one of her orbiters, don't play that game.

Be polite, cordial, keep the convo short, and move on.

Better yet, flirt with other hot girls or bring a hot girl around.

[robreke]

(09-19-2018 03:13 PM)Funkbus40 Wrote:  

Guys I am in a weird situation.

I asked a 8.5-9 out on a date, she is 26 I am 21. Basically I talked and texted her for a week and had lunch. Built up a lot of value and had her texting me first. I asked her out in person and she denied me mainly because she dosent want to date a "much younger guy".

Naturally I said "thanks for not wasting my time" and Nexted.

Here is where it gets weird. In the week and a half since I asked her out she has on 3 different occasions ran up to me and hugged me in the city streets as I walked by on the other side of the street. Also while I am studying in the library she approaches from my behind and starts conversation. During these stops I have always made small talk and told her I am busy and had to go, but in a nice way not cold. There has been no texting between us since she denied me.

Aside from nexting, mainly due to the fact I have other girls on deck, what should I do? I want to bang but I cant tell If she is trying to turn me into an attention device or if there is some valid interest. Can provide more info if needed.

Appreciate the insight and expertise this forum has.

She's interested and attracted. You just have to use some game to give her plausible deniability, secure the "get together" as you may not even want her to think of it as a date and then, close the deal.

Next time she approaches tease her that she's stalking you and try to instadate/bounce or set up a date. have a good response or line ready for her shit test of you're "too young" because she will bring it up again. That's all it is - a shit test.

She wants you to overcome that for her and put her mind at ease so she can relax and bang you.

Even though you're younger, don't be intimated one bit: Remember, women, regardless of being older, are mentally children that need to be lead by a strong, confident and decisive man.

[Funkbus40]

(09-19-2018 03:40 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You fucked up on the date a few ways:

You put this girl on a pedestal.

You only went to lunch with her - that's a "friend date".

You asked her out to be your GF/BF without much to show for it. - Remember a woman should be chasing you down and wanting to be your GF, she should be asking you "what are we?"

You barely know this chick, you barely went on a date with her, so you barely built value in her head.

You failed her shit test of "being a younger man" - when you should've laughed and said I've seen older girls act 12, or age is just a number, or you're only old as you feel, etc

Move on from this chick, you already see that she's trying to make you one of her orbiters, don't play that game.

Be polite, cordial, keep the convo short, and move on.

Better yet, flirt with other hot girls or bring a hot girl around.

Kaotic, thanks for the advice its well taken.

Robreke, thanks too.

I think moving forward im going to keep focus on my other options. But the next time she approaches ill ask her out to drinks (non-date).

[OCZ]

To give some context.
I met this girl a couple of weeks ago. She is a solid 9, but I approached her with confidence and things worked quite well and we went home together. I asked for her number and we stayed in contact ( we fucked a couple of times). Eventually, I found her on instagram and realize it has thousands of followers and has this influencer/fullofherself attitude, yet she never showed it to me. I ingored it until she added me to instagram ( I am not really active) and after that her attitude started changing to eventually not answering my texts. I stopped writing of course since I can full around with someone else, yet she is a solid 9 man. Probably if I write her, she will not answer. Any suggestion or should I give up?

[redbeard]

(09-19-2018 05:04 PM)Funkbus40 Wrote:  

(09-19-2018 03:40 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You fucked up on the date a few ways:

You put this girl on a pedestal.

You only went to lunch with her - that's a "friend date".

You asked her out to be your GF/BF without much to show for it. - Remember a woman should be chasing you down and wanting to be your GF, she should be asking you "what are we?"

You barely know this chick, you barely went on a date with her, so you barely built value in her head.

You failed her shit test of "being a younger man" - when you should've laughed and said I've seen older girls act 12, or age is just a number, or you're only old as you feel, etc

Move on from this chick, you already see that she's trying to make you one of her orbiters, don't play that game.

Be polite, cordial, keep the convo short, and move on.

Better yet, flirt with other hot girls or bring a hot girl around.

Kaotic, thanks for the advice its well taken.

Robreke, thanks too.

I think moving forward im going to keep focus on my other options. But the next time she approaches ill ask her out to drinks (non-date).

Considering you already know this girl and she's somewhat warmed up to you, it might be better to just run into her at a club. Go out and tell her to join. The alcohol and loud music will be great for getting her guard down.

[FenyoLuc]

^This.. This "fame" stuff is killing me dude. I cant give you an advice but man. I've lost an 8 for a similar reason. Apparently i wasnt enough of the "party" guy. I didnt know half of the jerks of the city, so on... But i gotta change that, if they want a jerk, if the want the fame, fuck them im gonna prove them wrong. Im gonna stick to the childish "revenge" but silently. Grow over them and when you did show up brag and fuck off.

Sounds stupid but i dont really care now, if thats the motivation for me to be better, well i accept it. Better than nothing

[Noir]

(09-19-2018 05:04 PM)Funkbus40 Wrote:  

(09-19-2018 03:40 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You fucked up on the date a few ways:

You put this girl on a pedestal.

You only went to lunch with her - that's a "friend date".

You asked her out to be your GF/BF without much to show for it. - Remember a woman should be chasing you down and wanting to be your GF, she should be asking you "what are we?"

You barely know this chick, you barely went on a date with her, so you barely built value in her head.

You failed her shit test of "being a younger man" - when you should've laughed and said I've seen older girls act 12, or age is just a number, or you're only old as you feel, etc

Move on from this chick, you already see that she's trying to make you one of her orbiters, don't play that game.

Be polite, cordial, keep the convo short, and move on.

Better yet, flirt with other hot girls or bring a hot girl around.

Kaotic, thanks for the advice its well taken.

Robreke, thanks too.

I think moving forward im going to keep focus on my other options. But the next time she approaches ill ask her out to drinks (non-date).

Friendzone her and get her to hook you up with friends and any other events she goes to. She's older, hot and took an interest in you.

Nothing to lose here.

[OCZ]

(09-20-2018 08:38 AM)FenyoLuc Wrote:  

Sounds stupid but i dont really care now, if thats the motivation for me to be better, well i accept it. Better than nothing

Yeah. I don't think is worth the effort caring and would probably just keep going as the usual, still a 9 is always sad to lose.

[kaotic]

(09-20-2018 09:09 AM)OCZ Wrote:  

(09-20-2018 08:38 AM)FenyoLuc Wrote:  

Sounds stupid but i dont really care now, if thats the motivation for me to be better, well i accept it. Better than nothing

Yeah. I don't think is worth the effort caring and would probably just keep going as the usual, still a 9 is always sad to lose.

Point at any 9 and I'll show you a guy who dumped her because he was sick of her shit.

You fucked her a few times, you won.

The average dude and player can hardly keep a 9 in check.

9's know their worth and use it wisely, these are the queens of hypergamy

She's got hundreds of guys sliding into her DM's and I hate to say it, they might have a better quality of "life" on IG that she's attracted to.

Social media is apart of the new tools a man has to have in his life to get ahead of pack.

I still tease chicks about social media and call them thirsty for followers when they ask for my social media. I'll even go as far as to tell them I like keeping that shit separate because I've had girls become stalker crazy and cause drama.

[OCZ]

(09-20-2018 11:42 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

(09-20-2018 09:09 AM)OCZ Wrote:  

(09-20-2018 08:38 AM)FenyoLuc Wrote:  

Sounds stupid but i dont really care now, if thats the motivation for me to be better, well i accept it. Better than nothing

Yeah. I don't think is worth the effort caring and would probably just keep going as the usual, still a 9 is always sad to lose.

Point at any 9 and I'll show you a guy who dumped her because he was sick of her shit.

You fucked her a few times, you won.

The average dude and player can hardly keep a 9 in check.

9's know their worth and use it wisely, these are the queens of hypergamy

She's got hundreds of guys sliding into her DM's and I hate to say it, they might have a better quality of "life" on IG that she's attracted to.

Social media is apart of the new tools a man has to have in his life to get ahead of pack.

I still tease chicks about social media and call them thirsty for followers when they ask for my social media. I'll even go as far as to tell them I like keeping that shit separate because I've had girls become stalker crazy and cause drama.

Yeah. I will not invest energy in playing games with that and maybe that is the reason it works sometimes. Probably we'll run into each other and end up fucking again, but I will not put any effort and maybe tune up a little bit my instagram account just for the fun. I'll probably start using that argument of keeping it separetely and that should work fine in the future. Still I scored

[Roswell87]

Went jogging in a park near where I live. Did light kino in the park. Got her back to my car and got a handjob. Will report back if I get the bang on the second date(If there is Any )

[Funkbus40]

Today's report,

Cold approched 2 girls, one 7.0 and an 8.

The 7.0 asked for my number and then told me to come over to pregame before a brawl crawl. I had to decline since I had a dinner with another girl from the summer.

Had a good conversation with the 8, built value and attraction. She had been looking at me across the class room for the past few weeks. No number, but defiantly started something.

at 9:00 p.m. I was walking down the street into my school with the girl I had taken out to dinner only to find the 9 from my previous post in the lobby. Had a short exchange with her, she asked my date and I if we were going out and I said "no, probably going back to her place".

Kaotic, I guess I did exactly what you recommended.

My only question for the forum. At this point I am gaming a lot of women publicly and in front of women whom I have already gamed. Is this a good thing by creating compeitition or will I just come off as a sleaze?

[Mikestar]

I just rawdogged for the first time in my life, literally lasted 5 strokes. I pulled out but my question is should I get the pill for her just in case precum got in? I’m not worried but she’s 18 so it would be a catastrophe

[torridon747]

If you're worried at all I would get her plan B. Also next time you're raw dogging a girl and sure you're going to be able to administer plan B nut in her, it's fun.

[Funkbus40]

Today is looking to be a bummer.

While working I talked up to a few Milfs.

After work I went into the city to try and cold approach but I have just lost my vibe. Things were feeling a bit artificial and inorganic with the first few approaches.

So now I am at my law school in the middle of the city just trying to tie a few academic lose ends up before I call it a night.

Do any of you guys get this vibe? Maybe it is because I came from a high point last night with women and tonight im just off?

[RedPillUK]

Funkbus, so it was a boring day, who cares? You're caring too much.

Secondly Kaotic's advice was perfect.

Just to simplify it a bit, remember women want ATTENTION and men want SEX.

You cannot give her any real attention now unless she agrees to put herself in a position with you where sex is likely to happen. This is the only time that you can now give her attention.

And Eugenics, don't do that, fucking around with a hormones is devastating on a girls body and is going to mess up her period, mood and health. It's not 'fun'. I don't mean to sound like buzz kill but that seems like a pretty sick way of having fun.

[torridon747]

I respect your opinion but a temporary spike in hormones when handled correctly is perfectly safe. Definitely not something to do a lot but I'd wager getting shitfaced drunk or doing drugs has more serious implications than what I've suggested. The girl will be fine, if you feel bad about it care for her afterwords.

I don't appreciate you calling my methods sick and if you're going take that hard line of a stance I'd appreciate a bit more elaboration on your call out. Maybe you know something I don't, I'll listen.

[No More Mr. Soy Boy]

I had an interesting chat with a hungarian chick (my "main") yesterday.
She is traditional, right wing and sort of very "red pilled" for being a woman.

Some things she said, I've never heard a woman admit before:

- She looks down on weak men and find them pathetic.
She has told me that she has been approached dozens of times by guys.
Mostly by men who are a bit shy and nervous. Some guys have been so nervous when approaching her that they've struggled to find the words, then she has been like "yeah, but hurry up and tell me what the fuck you're gonna say to me" and "No, I'm not going to give you my number. I don't date boys" and rejected them in like the coldest and most harsh way ever.

I asked if she didn't think she was being a bit too mean, evil and rude to these guys. Especially considering that no woman has had to do the hard thing and put their ego on the line and risk being rejected.

While she admitted that, she said she couldn't help it because she's just so disgusted by weak guys, because they're not real men and they're just so pathetic (and she had this disgusted chuck on her face). And she said almost all her girlfriends and other girls she knew were just the same except for some few who liked the more feminine types of men.

So SHE said all this, not me. I've rarely heard a girl being this honest about her behaviour.

- I mentioned that a lot of women I've been with have liked it hard and rough in the bed. I said that this is probably instincts back from the caveman days when women were fucked by some dominant alpha in the tribe or were being raped by some stud.

She agreed with and said it's true but that most women are afraid to admit they like this because of this feminism and need to sound like a good girl and be independent. She said many girls wants to deny their instincts.

[Trent W.]

(09-22-2018 06:28 PM)Funkbus40 Wrote:  

Today is looking to be a bummer.

While working I talked up to a few Milfs.

After work I went into the city to try and cold approach but I have just lost my vibe. Things were feeling a bit artificial and inorganic with the first few approaches.

So now I am at my law school in the middle of the city just trying to tie a few academic lose ends up before I call it a night.

Do any of you guys get this vibe? Maybe it is because I came from a high point last night with women and tonight im just off?

Yep, it happens. What I've noticed is that it happened to me after I'd been on a roll for a while. Like a reality check, still room to get more comfortable with this.

Was out last night with a friend who recently became single. Haven't been nightgaming where I live in a while. Didn't approach but didn't care that much either. Maybe because of daygame, getting a sore throat also has something to do with it, not that many girls that I genuinely liked either. Still nightgame is much better than daygame when it comes to closing as soon as possible so I'll have to pick that up too.