[The Fantasist]

So let's see what Europe has to offer us tonight in terms of quality wank material. I'm watching the show on Russian tv so don't really understand much but let's get on with it. Feel free to join in and pass comments on the shite music and hot women...

We are off. We seem to be in Sweden. Large auditorium.

Where is the hostess?

They are showing a choir. Few decent looking Swedish chicks in it. Might be religous types though.

Just seen the Moldovan chick - would bang

Fuck hello Belarus girl with the legs. 9/10 would bang.

[The Fantasist]

Oh fuck who is the British bird? Fucking typical.

Let's get on with the music guys.

[The Fantasist]

Fuck me hello Ukraine!! So far Ukraine chick is the one I'll be wanking about tonight when the show is over. Too early to declare her the winner though.

[The Fantasist]

The host is up in an odd looking outfit. Fuck me Sweden this is your window on the world and you put this fugly up! Swedish chicks meh.

[Sourcecode]

Norway...
That ass...those hips

[The Fantasist]

Just poured myself a whiskey. Feel like Dean Martin for some reason.

France up first. Come on France.

Shit. A below average French chick with a big nose. Cross between Kes$ha and that bird who married him out of Nirvana. 5/10 would only bang if she wins and becomes famous.

Shit song too. Case closed.

[The Fantasist]

Next up Lithuania. Hoping for better.

A dude. I'm going for a ciggie til this is over.

[The Pirate]

It`s an absolute freakshow... Prepare yourself for the Romanian contribution!

Drink : Gin Tonic

[The Fantasist]

Was that Lithuanian dude singing about his shoes? Who rights these tracks???

Right next up Moldova. Fuck.

Average red headed girl. Nice body to be fair but the teeth are a turn off. How many does she need?

Ok her promo did not do her justice.. Very pretty girl with make up and fantastic body. Odd hair though.

Solid 7.5. Would give an 8 but saw her promo video where she was only a 6 so 7.5/10 is a fair compromise.

The best performer so far. Would bang.

[The Pirate]

Slightly anorectic...would bang yes.

[The Fantasist]

Next up Finland.

Blonde girl. Ok, Finland I like it. Looks dirty. Singing marry me. Yeah I woul.

7.5/10 would bang her Helsinki ass hard. Singing 'I'm your slave you're my master'. Xsplat would love her.

[The Fantasist]

(05-18-2013 02:26 PM)The Pirate Wrote:  

Slightly anorectic...would bang yes.

Yes I thought 'eating disorder' too but she carried the emaciated look well. Who do think is better this one or Moldova?

[The Pirate]

Dude, you must be deep into your bottle! That`s not a 7.5. ....its more a 5.5.

"Marry me baby" I`ll pass.

To be honest...I didn`t pay too much attanetion to the songs. Not a good sign. I`ll try to focus but King Gin is tasty tonite...

[The Fantasist]

Lesbian kiss!!!! Get in.

[The Fantasist]

Finland is in the lead for lesbing it up with her backing dancer.

[The Fantasist]

Spain up next.

Well I might be hanging out in Iberia this summer. Lovely tits.

Face is ropey but the tits!

7/10. Nice legs too.

[The Pirate]

Spain, best looking girl this far... Should never be allowed on a stage for the eternal future!

[The Fantasist]

(05-18-2013 02:29 PM)The Pirate Wrote:  

Dude, you must be deep into your bottle! That`s not a 7.5. ....its more a 5.5.

"Marry me baby" I`ll pass.

To be honest...I didn`t pay too much attanetion to the songs. Not a good sign. I`ll try to focus but King Gin is tasty tonite...

Bollocks. No way was she a 5.5. Spain is getting uglier by the minute. Now she is a 6.

[The Pirate]

Spain got uglier...we can agree about that. Would bang after 2pm though.

[The Fantasist]

Italy up next.

A dude. Looks like a dark haired Vitali from the youtube vids.

[The Pirate]

All artists have "the car salesman smile"

[The Fantasist]

Up next Estonia.

Dark haired chick. 6.5/10. looks like a young Alanis Morrisette before she hit the wall hard.

[The Fantasist]

Was overly harsh. She is a solid 7.

Yeah they must hurt smiling like that.

[The Fantasist]

Belarus! Come on last dictatorship, don't let us down.

[The Pirate]

She is a 7 in that dress with makeup. Bulldog the day after.

I like that Belarussian girl up next...she is an 8.5...