[AneroidOcean]

I see value in both of these opinions:

(05-17-2013 02:43 PM)Sebastian Wrote:  

I approach some chick and her guy comes over. I don't get offended if she grabbs her guy. that's women's behavior.
I find it funny when a guy comes over, put arms around her and say 'how are you doing' with a signal from his eyes 'this is mine, fuck off'

AND

(05-17-2013 02:55 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

I think most men would come over if a strange guy was making conversation with his girl for more than a couple of minutes. If he didn't, we'd probably say the guy was a bitch. Men know other men. Men know when they're with an attractive woman. They know and understand that other men will look, and not knowing if she's with someone, may step to her and spit a little. Frankly, it doesn't take much to let another guy know she's taken. You can step over, put your hand on her in a certain way, and walk away again and your message will be delivered. If your girl stays engaged with the guy for much longer after that, maybe you have a problem with HER, not the guy.

I'd like to solicit opinions on how you handle this with a girl you're dating.

Myself I let guys approach/spit game. If the girl really needs help I'll come over but in most cases she can turn him down or let him know she's taken all by herself. The girl I'm dating right now has a lot of guy friends (male roommate part of that group) and I'm not threatened by any of them and I know she's perfectly capable of handling most guys coming up.

The only time I'll really go intervene is if I think the girl really needs help. This happens a decent bit with female friends of mine when I go out with them, but I prefer to lay back a lot more than I would've in the past. I don't want to get into the "is this beta?" conversation too much, but I do think that a guy that has a girl truly into him and is alpha enough shouldn't need to intervene or "show that he's his girl" unless absolutely necessary. I find it a little too supplicating or posturing depending on the situation.

Even when I do help my girl friends out when it's needed I usually am not a dick about it unless the guy deserves it. It's just not necessary most of the time. Besides, when I'm out I like to socialize with the whole group or other people besides my date. Otherwise why not just stay home.

[Jaylow]

Im 0 for 1 in this thread already but ill try again.

If someone is hitting on your girl I would interject myself into their conversation and start taking over. I wouldnt be an asshole or aggressive, Id just start asking him questions to put him on the defensive. Making him laugh works really well too. Add a "aight man have fun tonight" with a little head nod pointing out somewhere in the distance for him to gtfo. Make sure he takes off and not you/your girl. Stand your ground, dont usher her away.

If your at a bar the second option would be to not give a shit about her and talk to other girls.

[Sebastian]

I totally disagree. She is the one who needs to behave in an appropriate manner. The guy hits on her indirectly. she needs to politely reject the guy. she does that and if this stranger keeps bothering her then you need to step in as a man.

If a guy leaves her alone 'just talking' to other guys, that is nothing to do with him being a bitch. he knows she will behave correctly. so he doesn't have to observe her like a 'bitch'

Maybe you can keep her in her place when you are with her.
Can you be with her 24 hours a day though? what if she gets hit on by guys at the grocery store? what are you going to do then?

(05-17-2013 02:55 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

I think most men would come over if a strange guy was making conversation with his girl for more than a couple of minutes. If he didn't, we'd probably say the guy was a bitch. Men know other men. Men know when they're with an attractive woman. They know and understand that other men will look, and not knowing if she's with someone, may step to her and spit a little. Frankly, it doesn't take much to let another guy know she's taken. You can step over, put your hand on her in a certain way, and walk away again and your message will be delivered. If your girl stays engaged with the guy for much longer after that, maybe you have a problem with HER, not the guy.

[MidniteSpecial]

I've been dealing with dudes approaching my girls since high school. That's what happens when you fuck with fly bitches. I usually dap them up let them say their piece and keep it moving.

A lot of times it's black dudes trying to hollar at my white girls with big asses.

I never try to be the tough guy white knight. If a girl doesn't know how to act toward a dude when I'm around or not around than she wasn't even mine to begin with.

I guess you could say I keep my bitches off the leash.

[MidniteSpecial]

With that said if someone disrespects there's going to be a problem but usually it's all love once they know she's with me.

[DVY]

haha, I let the girl flounder for an uncomfortably long-time and wink at her from time to time. If it starts getting out of hand, Ill intervene. I think girls get hot for it, when they realize how little they can do w/out you (usually Asian girls).

Priceless moment is when the dude stops spitting at her for 1 second and she bolts towards me and hugs me. The dude's look is always hysterical. They kind of stand there, stammer a bit, apologize and then leave.

But yes, girls acting like this is a pure knee-jerk I think your attractive, but dont want to be slutty thing.

[Feo]

Haha, she's doing it so her little guy doesn't feel insecure. Seen it a million times..

[Therapsid]

My problem is, it's a non-falsifiable thesis.

She doesn't grab his hand? Well, she isn't that into him. She grabs his hand? She's attracted to you and she's trying to reassure him. She pulls away from him? She's blatantly advertising her sexual availability.

Whatever response she offers can be interpreted to mean she wants your cock.

Maybe that's okay. It's advantageous to an extent to overestimate the interest a woman shows in you.

[XXL]

(05-17-2013 11:00 AM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  

I've noticed this a lot lately. I will be walking down the side walk and a couple will be walking towards me when the girl will all of the sudden grab onto her man. Either an arm lock or they begin holding hands. I always make eye contact with the female first and than it happens. It's also happened the other way around where the dude grabs the girl as I approach.

that means GTFO

(05-17-2013 12:03 PM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  

(05-17-2013 11:30 AM)Jaylow Wrote:  

When a girl does this I am guessing its a bad sign, like a "leave me alone" type thing but I could be wrong.

If a guy does it he is showing huge insecurity. Typical things he will do are when you are talking to her he will hug her from behind, kiss her cheek, hold her by the waist etc. Keep talking to her.

I was taking it more as a girl wanting to demonstrate her value to me type of thing.

Like she's subliminally saying, "yeah I'm interested in you but I have a man."

It's like they can smell the confidence on me and get intimidated so they grab onto their man thinking he can save them. Or they want to prove they have a boyfriend.

There's no way they would want me to leave them alone!

sort of.. she just sees you that you're confident to look her straight in the eyes even though she's with a man. so just in case wanted to break the ice she grabs her man's hand to signal to you to back off. i guess you can take it as a compliment that they categorize you as cool in a snap. in the end it's meaningless cause it's just first impression.

[Neo]

I've had this happen, it's pretty much a bad sign. I think the discussion about her feeling more attraction towards the other guy is a moot point. If it's during the day it's nearly 100% certain nothing will happen unless the bf is a complete tool.

This used to happen to me more often when I had a more aggressive/threatening initial type of game. I remember being at a beer festival a few years ago and I must've had the 'weird guy hitting on every girl vibe' because I was striking out left and right. I'd do an approach on a girl I thought was alone or even walk by some girls and they'd almost run to grab their boyfriends hand. I've since learned to tone it down. Nowadays I'm much more unassuming, and my player ways aren't revealed until after the bang.

[King Solomon]

Here's my theory- social proof and preselection projection.

Girls like dudes that have a woman and are preselected... so they project and think thats how we work too (it isnt)

so her grabbing the bf's hand is a display of her trying to qualify herself to you.

[Kieran]

I've had men try to talk to girls I'm with a couple of times when the girl was coming back from the toilet. I date a lot of Asian girls and sometimes they are too polite to just walk away when somebody tries to engage them. Last time this happened, I just went up behind her, playfully kneed her in the back of the knee so that her leg unlocked, then while she was reacting to this with her attention focused on me, I just gave the guy a dismissive "hey how are you", and led her off.

Regarding the holding hands thing, I'd guess the guilt thing is probably the right explanation. I doubt it's a conscious process though.

[Grit]

In my opinion, this is male hamstering. I don't say this in a derogatory way. There are studies that show that men who (illogically) interpret female behavior as sexual interest are statistically more sexually effective. Think about that.

You will be more sexually successful if you take every bit of interest from women as a sign of interest.

[Dulceácido]

Mate guarding? lol!

[MidniteSpecial]

(05-18-2013 06:05 AM)XXL Wrote:  

(05-17-2013 11:00 AM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  

I've noticed this a lot lately. I will be walking down the side walk and a couple will be walking towards me when the girl will all of the sudden grab onto her man. Either an arm lock or they begin holding hands. I always make eye contact with the female first and than it happens. It's also happened the other way around where the dude grabs the girl as I approach.

that means GTFO

(05-17-2013 12:03 PM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  

(05-17-2013 11:30 AM)Jaylow Wrote:  

When a girl does this I am guessing its a bad sign, like a "leave me alone" type thing but I could be wrong.

If a guy does it he is showing huge insecurity. Typical things he will do are when you are talking to her he will hug her from behind, kiss her cheek, hold her by the waist etc. Keep talking to her.

I was taking it more as a girl wanting to demonstrate her value to me type of thing.

Like she's subliminally saying, "yeah I'm interested in you but I have a man."

It's like they can smell the confidence on me and get intimidated so they grab onto their man thinking he can save them. Or they want to prove they have a boyfriend.

There's no way they would want me to leave them alone!

sort of.. she just sees you that you're confident to look her straight in the eyes even though she's with a man. so just in case wanted to break the ice she grabs her man's hand to signal to you to back off. i guess you can take it as a compliment that they categorize you as cool in a snap. in the end it's meaningless cause it's just first impression.

GTFO? That means get the fuck out?

She's telling me to get the fuck out?

Out of where?

Or like "get the fuck out! He's so hot!" ?