[A War You Cannot Win]

Had this nice little blonde lizard message me out of nowhere on Okcupid to hook up tonight. We meet at a bar next to her place to have a drink just to build some rapport. She's buying what i'm selling and we both hop in our cars to go to her place and bang like rabid crack addled ADD monkeys when...

THE COPS PULL HER ASS OVER. I pull over, turns out she was drinking with girlfriends before hand and she's barely over the legal limit after one drink with me. They arrest her.

FUCK MY LIFE

I am drunk, and I want to destroy the state of California and the good people of Upland, CA.

Fuck you cockblockers

What's the worst cockblockings you guys ever experienced?

[WestIndianArchie]

redacted

[DBCooper]

(05-12-2013 04:07 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

1. Chick went born again christian on me

^I do a lot more screening now.

WIA

They don't come any crazier or with bigger hamsters than that.

I've had Christian girls tell me I can't put it in their pussy because it'd break their vow of no sex before marriage...but instead I can put it in their ass.

I don't even...

With regards cockblocking it'd have to be the time I was about to bed a chick at a party when my mate decide to come in and drunkenly pass out on the bed between us, completely killing it...could've fucking killed him.

[Timoteo]

(05-12-2013 04:07 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

3. chick has kids, baby sitter cancels

2. sudden realization that the chick is super fucking crazy, and actually wouldn't be worth the lay

1. Chick went born again christian on me

^I do a lot more screening now.

WIA

The religion thing can be tricky. I'm always attentive to the God references online and when I speak to women. I've found online that women in South America and in the Philippines drop a lot of God this, God that into what they write, but you have to assess if they're REALLY religious. Like church every Sunday religious. Sometimes because they were brought up in a religious household, they may have a belief in God, but not really be religious and will fuck like any other girl. You definitely have to feel it out...

[AneroidOcean]

The ultimate cockblock? Explosive diarrhea.

No seriously, I got a really pretty italian girl, easily an 8.5-9 with SMARTS (I don't like dumb chicks) handed to me on a fucking platter one night and I did everything right except when I got her moaning and ready for me to destroy her, a rumbling in my stomach came over me and I spent the rest of the night shitting my brains out. I tried to work something in the morning, but the magic was over.

I never heard from her again.

She had the most epic tits and ass and hair and pretty face and oh my god fuck you intestinal tract.

It physically hurts me to tell this story.

2nd worst cockblock? God.

Seriously. This chick that I refer to as "the best thing I never had" said that she couldn't be with me because I wasn't a man of god (she was semi-born again or something). This was the day after she gave me the best blow job I've probably ever had. If it hadn't been for that blowjob I would rate this as the worst cockblock instead of the 2nd worst.

FUCKING GOD.